A/N: This fanfic was inspired by a one-shot story by Something Washed Ashore called "Real Men Don't Zip Their Jackets"

Summary: Yamucha has fallen in love with Kuririn, but there are obstacles in his way of having him. What lengths will Yamucha go to have him?

Of course, this is M/M a.k.a yaoi; so if you don't like it-- don't read it.

Furthermore, I don't understand why this is such a rare pairing. I think it works shrugs (--) Anyway here we go . . . !

Out of Desperation

Chapter One: Unlucky

By RavenGems 9

The beginning takes place between the Freeza saga and Cell saga…

/o/

'Just my luck!' Yamucha thought.

He sat alone on a cliff that overlooks a dry, hot, sandy landscape. The desert was this ex-bandit's home for so many years. The heat and hot sands practically raised him.

This was the only place he felt completely comfortable. All he wanted now was to be left alone.

It seems that most of his life he has been a victim to rotten luck. Rotten luck with money, fights, and love…

He has only been alive again for little more than a year and now some cyborg monsters are coming to take him out again.

Two days have passed since the messenger of doom arrived. That boy from the future and what a bomb he dropped…

Three years from now, they will come and destroy them all.

What was the whole point of coming back in the first place? Well, it was for Bulma's sake at first, but look who she's with now. Vegeta of all people! He always knew she seeing other guys behind his back, and he put up with it. Yet she's the one who gets jealous if he even looks at another woman.

"Hypocritical Slut." Yamucha muttered. Their shaky relationship was on and off for years, and now they're permanently though. He had enough of her and enough of their stupid arguments. They're Vegeta's problem now.

"Oi! Yamucha!" a voice called out of the blue. Yamucha looked up and saw Kuririn flying towards him. Kuririn was one of the people he least wanted to see.

'He's the reason why I died,' He remembered grimly. The scarred warrior needlessly sacrificed himself for him.

Back when Bulma's now present "boyfriend" landed on earth with that giant maniac Nappa. Nappa showed off his green thumb by planting those gremlin-like things called saibaimen. Kuririn wanted to be the first one to fight them, but Yamucha just had to intervene. Trying to be bold and noble, offering to fight them in Kuririn's stead. Maybe because he's bigger and older, he felt like he had to.

Kami-sama had warned him more than twice not to get too cocky in the heat battle, but he never listen, and he paid for it dearly. The saibaiman was an easy victory, but he just had to do something so stupid. He turned his back on the enemy to brag. He gave it the prefect opportunity to grab him and self-destruct.

That thing's mad grin, before it blew itself up, still haunted his dreams.

He thought he could protect him, but it turned out Kuririn didn't need him at all. Kuririn nearly destroyed all the remaining saibaimen by himself and after the terror of Nappa; Kuririn was the only pureblooded human left standing.

Yamucha was useless to him.

"I've been looking for you. What are you doing out here?" Kuririn asked as soon as he landed.

"I just needed to be alone for awhile."

"Oh yeah, I—um, heard happened with you and Bulma." He said hesitantly.

Yamucha made a sour face like he had bit a lemon. "For the record, I dumped her."

'Sorta . . .' added quietly to himself

Their last argument was after he found what was going on with Bulma and Vegeta. He was so angry, she was yelling at him, and before he knew it they were broken up. He was unsure who dumped whom, but it was clear they weren't a couple anymore.

"Why are you here? Can't you tell I don't want to see anyone now?"

"But Yamucha—"

"But what?" he said crossly

"I was looking for you 'cuz I was hoping we could train together. So when the time comes…We'll be ready."

He glared at Kuririn.

"Ready? Ha! You know what that kid said. Those androids killed Vegeta in the future easily and he was a Super Saiya-jin. What hope do we have?"

Kuririn was so annoying to him, he felt as though he was getting a headache just looking at him. He got up to move to somewhere where no one can bother him.

Suddenly, he felt faint. Yamucha wobble on his feet and before he knew it, he fell forward.

The small monk caught him before he landed face first on the desert ground.

"Are you okay?" Kuririn asked as held him up, keeping him on his feet.

"I'm fine." Yamucha grunted 'But why does my head hurts so much?'

Sinking to his knees, he panted for air. "What's wrong with me?"

"Come on, you need to get out of this heat."

Kuririn tried to help him up but Yamucha pushed him away. "Go away!" he snarled. He didn't want help from him or anyone for that matter. He was now on his hands and knees--- out of breath. The world won't stop spinning for him.

Then everything just black out . . .

/o/

He was sinking… his body felt as though it was going deeper and deeper into some unknown sea. Without thinking, he tried to breathe but only water filled his lungs.

"I'm gonna drown…" the thought floated in his mind idly. Did he care if he drowns? Would it matter to anyone of he did?

A force took a hold his wrist.

Something---someone was pulling him back to the surface.

He could breathe right again.

However, he was still able to hear the sound of the waves. The ocean…? The smell of seawater and sand dominated his senses. Was he still strayed in the middle sea?

Where is he?

Why was it so hot?

"Yamucha-san?" a voice said to him. Something moist was rested on his forehead. His head cooled and he opened his eyes to see Kuririn was standing over him.

"You…" The ex-bandit lifted himself onto his elbow and look around. He should have recognized this place sooner. This was the Kame House. Kuririn brought him here.

"You were probably out in the sun too long." He told him.

Heat stroke? Impossible. He has been in hotter weather and that had never happened to him.

Suddenly, his insides gave a familiar lunge. He sat up abruptly but Kuririn stopped him.

"No, you need to lie down."

"I'm gonna hurl!"

"What!?" he pushed Kuririn out of his way and rush to the bathroom.

/o/

"Ugh…uh…."

Groaning, he finally left the bathroom after kneeling in front of the toilet for the passed twenty minutes.

Yamucha's eyes burned, his head throbbed, and his inside still quaked. It felt like he may die from this pain before the androids had the chance to kill him. Somehow, he managed the find his way back to the bed.

Great, now even his health has left him. Could things get any worse? Well, things could've been worse…

Where would he be if Kuririn wasn't there? He'd probably be passed out in the middle of the nowhere. At least someone cared enough to come looking for him. Maybe he wasn't so unlucky…

/o/

For the next few days, he was bed ridden with a fever. Most of his time was spent resting. However, every morning--- like clockwork--- Kuririn's ki rose to combat level.

"What's he doing this early?" he wondered at first . . . "Right-- training."

There wasn't much else to do but watch Kuririn from his window.

"Wow, he has really improved."

His form and his speed, it was so different from the last time he seen him spar.

Yamucha wondered how his training with Kaiou-sama would par up with the strength Kuririn gain from his ordeals on Namek. His completive spirit peak again. He has forgotten what it was like to fight for sport and fun, instead of desperately trying to survive.

But then he remembers why Kuririn was doing this, and his spirits dimmed.

He drew his eyes away from Kuririn and pulled the covers over his head.

"It's so useless. Just give up already . . ."

/o/

On the fourth day of being there, Yamucha woke late in the evening to find that his fever had gone down and he felt more like himself again.

"Good to see you up and about, my boy." Roshi greeted him when he came down the stairs. He was standing in front of the open door, staring outside through the screen door.

"He's still at it, huh?" he asked as he saw what Roshi was looking at. Kuririn--still training on the beach.

"Yep, Kuririn has been like this day in and day out." Roshi pushed his sunglasses more back up on his face and peer at Kuririn again, "He only gives himself a break to sleep and to check on you."

"But he's gonna kill himself if he keeps this up. Aren't you going to stop him?"

The old hermit frowned, "He won't listen to me."

Kuririn dropped out of his fighting stance. His shoulders slumped down wearily. Kuririn's small form sank down to the sand.

"There he goes again…" Roshi heaved a sigh and retreated back to the living room. "Could you do me a favor? Drag him in and put him to bed. I don't much like doing it tonight."

Roshi may have not seemed concerned but seeing Kuririn like this worried him.

He headed out to the beach and stopped in front of Kuririn, lying flat on the sand.

Looking down on him he said, "You shouldn't be pushing yourself like this."

Kuririn didn't answer him. He must've been too exhausted to. Yamucha shook his head in pity.

"Let's get you inside." Yamucha tried to pick him up to carry him in his arms but Kuririn refused.

"I can walk," he said as he shakily got up on his feet.

"Well, let me help you," Yamucha had Kuririn lean against him as he guided him to the house.

/o/

"Are you feeling better?" Kuririn asked as he sat down onto his bed.

Yamucha nodded.

"Good . . ." he lied down and curled up beneath the covers.

"Why don't you train with the others?" this has been nagging him since he first saw him training. All these days he had been there, he only saw Kuririn training by himself.

Kuririn chuckled softly and looked up at him with his wore-out eyes. " I can't keep up with them. Believe me, I tried."

"What about Tenshinhan? Both of you are near the same level, aren't ya?"

"Yeah, but you know how private he is. It's kinda hard to find him when you need him."

Yamucha turned off the light and headed out the door to go down stairs. Before he closed the door shut, peek through the slight gap at Kuririn again.

Yamucha couldn't see his face in the dark but he knew he was trembling from weariness and, maybe fear.

"Everyone else is so far ahead now…." Kuririn whispered sleepily, "I don't want to slow them down."

/o/

The next morning, Yamucha stood outside on the beach, smoking a cigarette. Yes, someone so health conscience as him shouldn't be smoking. Heh, it's a bad habit he picked up from Bulma. Despite what it was doing to his lungs, it helped him think.

What did he had plan for the next three years?

His mind went blank whenever that topic came up. Should he train too?

'Why run yourself ragged? What's the point?'

He had better things to do with his time. He was well enough to leave; he should at least say good-bye before he does.

/o/

Kuririn was still asleep in bed.

Just taking one look at him, Yamucha didn't want to wake him. In the daylight he looked even more exhausted.

'I should just leave now. I'll just talk to him on the phone later. '

He turned to leave the room but Kuririn must've sense him there and woke up.

"What time is it?" he asked him groggily.

"Almost noon."

"AH!" Kuririn jumped from bed with a start, "How could have slept for so long! I—"soon as Kuririn stood up his knees gave in and he sank to the floor.

"Damn it, Kuririn. You need to rest."

"I need to train!" Kuririn shouted at him.

"Kuririn . . ." he was a little taken back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just . . . I don't want to be useless." Bowed his head and stared at his hands.

Yamucha was extremely uncomfortable seeing his fellow senshi like this. He wanted to go, leave Kuririn there on the floor and move on with his life. However, guilt anchored him at that spot.

'He needs me . . .' he knelt down and placed his hand on Kuririn's shoulder, 'I can't leave him.'

"Come on, man. Take the day off. We can start training again tomorrow."

Kuririn looked up at him with tired eyes, "What? 'We'? I thought you'd leave."

"Nah. I'm stayin'. You need a sparring partner, right?"

'Why not? It's not like I have anything else better to do.'

The way Kuririn's face lit up when he said that was priceless.

"Really?" he said

"Really."

/o/

From that day, he stayed at the Kame House. It was like old times, back when he was a teenager and Kuririn was still a kid.

They trained together again under Muten Roshi's coaching. He didn't really want to. Yamucha still thought it was pointless. The reason only he doing it because Kuririn was . . .

During their many hours of sparring, he saw how much he improved since Namek.

One of the things about Kuririn that astonish Yamucha the most was his speed. He could never dream to be as fast as him. Kuririn's so tiny. How can someone so small be so powerful?

Kuririn may seem so magnificent to him because Yamucha himself was so pathetic. After all, he is the strongest human.

Despite that, he knew what little hope Kuririn had against what to come. Visions of Kuririn being ripped apart and blown apart by those monsters were ever present in his mind.

Yamucha shuddered at thoughts like that.

He remembers a time long ago, Kuririn used to be such a brat. However, Goku's good nature must have rubbed off on him. He was sweet and genuine as Goku is but not as naïve. Such a gentle, caring person doesn't deserve a death like that.

Not again.

The thought of inescapable death was less present when Kuririn was around. He looked forward to being with him each day. Maybe it was because he was so calm about this. Day by day, Kuririn showed no sign of worry or fear. How can he stay so calm? Yamucha guessed being dead twice does that to a person. Whatever it was, being with him somehow made him tranquil too…

Those three years… Yamucha hadn't been happier with anyone else.

One down side of happiness is that time seemed to fly by so much quicker. Panic and fear was slowly coming over him as the months came and went.

Soon, the monk became his only source of comfort. He begun to hate himself for thinking what if Kuririn dies again and they won't be able to bring him back.

"When did I become so dependent on Kuririn to make me feel the way I do?" he asked himself several times. If it were any other person, he would say he was in love. But that was impossible.

And he wasn't saying that because Kuririn's a guy.

He has been with men before---He won't deny that. None of the other Zed Senshi knew that but they didn't really ask about each other sex lives.

Yet he never looked at the monk like that before. Why would he? To be honest, Kuririn wasn't really on his standards of what he would be attracted to.

'What's wrong with me?' Yamucha frown whenever he thought about it. 'When was the last time I had sex?!' Yamucha realized as he thought things through.

The last year of training intensify. He was so focus on it; he hasn't been on a date the whole time. Yet he had no desire to, with Kuririn around . . . Maybe he was so depraved that anyone's starting to look good to him.

He wasn't saying Kuririn was ugly but . . . was he really that shallow? Did he deny his feelings because of Kuririn's looks?

Look how far judging by appearances got him in relationships.

Sure, it's nice at first until the puppy love wears off. Then he starts seeing the ugly parts of their personalities, and then in turn brings out the ugly in him. Heck, he probably stayed with Bulma so long because she's rich . . .

Kuririn is so different than any other person he been with. What would it be like if he had that type of relationship with him?

Would it work?

No…

Besides all that, Kuririn always felt like a little brother to him. The idea of being that intimate with his fellow senshi was unthinkable.

Why was he wasting his time worrying about little things like this? The appointed date was a few days away. There wasn't much time left . . .

Fear clutch at his throat again.

Maybe… maybe he can talk Kuririn out of this. They don't have to be there! They don't have to fight. Most likely they would just get in the way. They can go into hiding when the time comes. Find a way to survive . . . He didn't want to die . . .He didn't want Kuririn to die.

/o/

The Kame House was small so, of course, they had to share a room together. Their twin beds were across from each other.

Late at night, Yamucha lied awake, trying to build up his nerve to ask him.

"Kuririn? Hey. Are you awake?"

"Mn?" he mumbled.

"This is important, wake up."

"What is it?" Kuririn said dozily as turned to look at him. It was hard to see his face in the dark.

"I need to ask you something . . . Why do we keep on doing this, Kuririn?"

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean, we'll never get any stronger then we are now. Why are we wasting time doing this?"

He paused slightly to hear for some reaction of any kind but impatience cause him to press on.

"Let's not go." Yamucha whispered to him.

Kuririn was quiet for a moment—probably absorbing what he had said. Yamucha wish he could see his face, feeling it would be so much easier if he did.

"No, Yamucha . . . I—I have to be there. I have to help in some way."

"We are out of our league, Kuririn! We have been for a very long time."

Kuririn turned away from him.

"That doesn't mean we can't help," he said defiantly

'Why is he being so stubborn?' he thought. Then it dawn on him.

"You'd follow Goku anywhere, wouldn't you?" He saw Kuririn shift uncomfortably in his bed. "Even if it kills you again?"

He waited for some time, staring at Kuririn's back, for his answer. But none came. Finally, Yamucha took Kuririn's silence as a yes.

Yamucha breathe out a disappointed sigh and turn over in his bed.

But Yamucha couldn't sleep; as the night went on, Yamucha tossed and turned.

He wanted to go into hiding yet; he didn't want to do it without him. He couldn't bring himself do it without Kuririn.

'Why does Goku means so much to you? He doesn't need you . . . like I do.'

For some time, he has been wondering about those two. Whenever he, Goku, and Kuririn were together, he always felt left out in some way. Goku and Kuririn always paid such attention to each other. It was like they had this secret connection that he has no part in.

Why was he all of a sudden jealous of Goku… or was he jealous of Kuririn? Great, now he was really confuse. Was he envious of Kuririn, because Goku lavishes more attention on him than Yamucha?

No, that didn't feel right.

That's it; he was jealous of Goku and has been for a very long time.

Their little group of theirs had no appointed leader or anything like that, but people listen to Goku and did what he said. Everyone look to him for strength and hope. Kuririn is probably one of them that would follow him to the ends of the universe if Goku asks him to. Why couldn't Kuririn be like that with him?

'Who would want to follow a coward?' a voice in head told him.

"Good night, Kuririn." he shut his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

/o/

It was very early in the morning; the sun hadn't even risen yet.

He was gathering up whatever belongings he had there. Yamucha was planning to leave before anyone woke up.

He made up his mind. With or without Kuririn, he wasn't going to be there.

Following Goku around was something he had given up some time ago. All it ever got him was killed. But Kuririn… he may die tomorrow doing that.

'There's no way I can change your mind, can I?'

Kuririn was curled up in bed, sleeping with the pillow clutched close to his body.

He looks so peaceful…so worry free.

A kittenish sound escaped Kuririn like he was having a bad dream and he clutched the pillow tighter. Soon his face relaxed and he sighed in relief.

Yamucha chuckled, 'Heh, he can be really adorable sometimes --No…. most of the time.' That moment became very somber to him as he realizes what was to come.

He stood there quietly, looking at him. This may be the last time he sees him…

"Good-bye, Kuririn. I'm sorry…" he put up his bags and headed for the bedroom door.

Just before he opened it, he heard Kuririn's voice say,

"I understand why you don't want to come. It's okay."

He looked over his shoulder, Kuririn was awake and sitting up in his bed.

"Kuririn, I…"

"Yeah?"

Yamucha's heart was thumping in his chest. He couldn't say anything else. He choked on his words and it was impossible to spit them out. 'Yes, I'm a coward.'

A sympathetic look came to Kuririn's face.

"It's okay, Yamucha." He said again "No one is forcing you to come."

Yamucha finally found the words and said, "No one's forcing you either. Please… come with me…"

'Don't make me beg you.' he thought desperately.

Kuririn's face saddens and shook his head "No." Kuririn's devotion to Goku was unshakable.

Yamucha couldn't bring himself to say any more. He never felt so . . . abandon. He left without uttering another word.

/o/

The day went by quietly. He was once again part of the world that was oblivious of the danger to come but he knew that wasn't going to last long.

That night was the first time in years that he slept in his own bed. It felt awkward to be so far away from Kuririn.

Morning came . . .

"What time is it?" Yamucha woke and the first thing he did was t+o gazed at his watch-- 7 o' clock. Today's the day--the android attack begins around ten. "Yeah, everyone probably is getting ready right now. I wonder what you are doing now, Kuririn."

It was still early, he could go back to sleep…

"Right, sleep while your friends are fighting to the death."

Disgrace, he bury his face in his hands and tried not think about it. He needed a drink…something strong.

"It's too early in the day to be drinking." He told himself, but still his hand tilt the bottle of vodka and filled the shot glass. He gulped it quickly and then poured another. This time, he took a moment to stare down at the glass; he could almost see himself in the liquid.

"Look at you…you fucking coward." Yamucha told his reflection and he hiccupped a little.

Without warning, the glass shattered, he didn't realize he was holding it so hard. Barely, he took any notice of the pieces glass in his hand. His mind was still somewhere else.

'Kuririn, what kind of friend am I.' Kuririn didn't abandon him. It was the other way around.

"I'm not a coward. I'm not!" he told himself as he hurried to put on his fighting gi. "I'll die facing the enemy not hiding in some hole! "

The happened so fast, he barely had a chance to call out for his friends before it happen.

He was searching around the city with Goku, Kuririn and the others when he was the first to come across the bodies. Confused, Yamucha looked around. He couldn't sense anything around strong enough to do these things.

"Hey, you two!" He hollered to the first people he saw. They were a weird pair--a creepy old man and a fat guy that look like he hadn't seen the sun in months.

"Did you see what happened here?" as soon as those words left his mouth a sinking feeling fill his stomach. He realized something was very wrong with them.

The old man turned to him, "Of course, we killed them." He simply said.

Yamucha backed away.

"E-everyone---!" he managed to yell before the strange old man appeared suddenly in front of him and forced his hand over his face.

His strength left him almost instantly.

'What happening to me? No!' Shakily and feebly, Yamucha tried to struggle free. This must have peeved off this creepy old man in some way. So much that he plunged his hand right though his chest.

He would have screamed if he could. The pain… was so intense.

Feeling something warm tingling down his back and down his legs and he knew it was his blood. So much of it was pooling into a crimson puddle on the ground.

'So this is how it ends . . .' both his blood and energy was leaving him.

He knew his friends had felt the sudden drop of his ki. He can feel their ki coming towards them. It's too late…

"Yamucha!"

He recognizes the voice instantly 'Goku . . .'

The android let his body dropped to the ground, like he was a worthless sack of dirt. He laid there like a torn rag doll, with no strength to move his body.

'Why am I so stupid . . .why did I come . . .' he thought as his sight began to leave him.

Yamucha could hear Goku yelling something. Even though he was yelling and only a few yards away, he sounded so distant.

Only a few words were clear. "Senzu . . . Kuririn . . . "

'Ku…ri…rin…' the name echoed weakly in his mind as the darkness began to eat away at his view of the sunlight. Then the entire world turned black.

What seemed like a second later, the world came rushing back.

Light … his vision has returned. Dark and vaguely familiar shapes hovered above him. As his eyes adjusted, the figures standing over him became clearer.

The concern faces of Bulma, Gohan, Yajirobe, and Kuririn were staring down at him.

The wound was gone. His strength was back. He was alive again.

Kuririn must've carried him away and fed him the senzu.

That android almost killed him. If it wasn't for the senzu seeds and Kuririn . . .

They saw that Goku and the others had gone chasing after them. Normally, he would have gone too, but he was terrified stiff. He was useless and helpless to do any to stop that fiend from sucking the life out of him.

Barely, he had noticed Gohan had flew after them

What a shame! A little kid was braver than he was. But then again, he didn't know how terrible the androids were.

" I don't want to go." He grumbled to himself

"Then I'll go!" Kuririn said, "They need the senzu!"

"No! You don't know how strong they are." But Kuririn already has taken off.

He didn't want to go.

But Kuririn . . .why you have to try to be so brave?

"Shit!' Yamucha flew off, following him. 'Why am I doing this?'

Was he a fool for coming along in the first place or was a fool for jumping back into the fire? He didn't care.

If Kuririn was following Goku to his death, he guessed he was following Kuririn in the same way.

The time they have prepared for was here. As time went by, many unexpected things occurred that even Trunks couldn't foresee.

It turned out that some of the androids in their timeline weren't as bad as Trunks lead them to believe. At least, that what he was told…

But that didn't matter much now that a new monster has risen.

Cell.

Piccolo tried to kill it and failed. Vegeta tried to kill it and failed. Cell got so boastful, it gave them ten days to train and get stronger. So its final victory will be even grander.

Once again, Goku was their only hope, and even he had his doubts that he could beat it. During that time, he stayed at the Kame House . . . he couldn't think of any better place than that. The days went by quickly, before he knew it was the night before the Cell Games.

He and Kuririn were on one of those grassy plains, where they spend so many of their stupid adventures looking for dragonballs. Just the two of them, this is how Yamucha wanted it to be. There were so many memories here.

Yamucha spend that night only way he could think of: he got drunk.

Of course, it takes a lot of liquor to get a man like him drunk.

Kuririn didn't drink; maybe it had something to do with him being a monk. Yamucha didn't know, he didn't care much for religion.

Anyway, he did manage to sway him into joining him in few drinks.

Sleepily, Kuririn leaned against him. Yamucha slipped his arm around his shoulders. He can feel how warm his body was from the alcohol.

"I should get going, Yamucha." He tried to get up but Yamucha slightly tighten his hold of him.

"Don't leave me alone. Stay with me" he murmured. He had a horrible feeling if Kuririn wasn't there with him, he'll go mad.

"O-okay."

The dragonballs were back, but both of them have been dead at least once. If they die tomorrow, there's no coming back. With both of them being such easy targets . . . Yamucha didn't want to think about.

"When I first died," Kuririn said shakily out of the blue, "I seriously thought no one would want me back. "

Yamucha was stunned to hear that. "Why did you think that?"

"Who would've wanted me around? I was so useless…why waste a wish on me? But Goku got mad and swore revenge. I--I never had someone who really cares for me like that . . ."

'I care for you . . . I'd do anything for you, Kuririn . . .' Yamucha thought, a bit afraid to say it out loud.

"I swore if he ever needed me, I'd be there." Kuririn cast his gaze downward, disgraced, "But look at me. What use am I now?"

Yamucha's heart swell with such fondness, all this time Kuririn felt the same. Weak and utterly useless but despite that he still had this desire to fight.

'This is why I love him so much.'

"Are you still scare, Yamucha?"

"No."

At this moment, Yamucha feared something more than death. It was receiving rejection from Kuririn. What would he think if he told him? Yamucha's mind was filled with so many possibilities.

This quiet before the storm, it was unbearable. The older warrior wanted to do anything to make this terrible feeling go away. Even if it was going to be for a little while . . .

Without any warning, Yamucha shoved Kuririn to the ground.

"What the--?"

"I'm sick of all this doom and gloom." Yamucha said, "Hell, if I'm going to die tomorrow, I wanna have some fun. Come on!"

Yamucha playfully tackle him.

They tumble around in the grass, roughhousing around. During the little wrestling match somehow he manage to pin Kuririn beneath him.

They were both panting. All the touching and groping of each other excited him, maybe a bit too much.

Kuririn looked up at him and hiccupped. 'He's so sweet.' a fond thought flicker in his head before he did what he did next.

Yamucha wasn't thinking when he did it. He bent down low until his face was close to Kuririn's.

"Yamucha? What--" he didn't let him finished what he was saying.

Yamucha pressed his mouth against Kuririn's. For more than a few heartbeats, it stayed there. Yamucha finally pull himself away and saw Kuririn was stunned and staring at him blankly.

His heart was thumping so hard in his chest he couldn't hear anything else. Feeling braver, he tried to kiss him again, but Kuririn turn his head away.

"No, Yamucha." But he didn't hear him. He settled with his cheek instead. He softly planted kisses on it, and he whispered into his ear. "I love you."

Kuririn squirmed to get free from beneath his larger body "Get off me, Yamucha. Y-you're drunk." he said calmly at first. He clutched Kuririn's wrists and held him down by them.

"No. It's not that. I've wanted you for so long."

"Get off! Don't make me hurt you!" he roared, anger flushed his face.

Kuririn pushed Yamucha off of him and got up to his feet.

Yamucha remain on the ground. He was now on his knees and held both of Kuririn's hands in his, refusing to let go. The larger man stare pleadingly into his almost frighten eyes. "I am in love you, Kuririn."

"Stop saying that!" Kuririn tried to back away but Yamucha held his wrists tight.

"What's so wrong with me saying it? It's how I feel about you."

He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

"Kuririn . . ."

"Yamucha!" Kuririn protested, "Quit it!"

Something hit Yamucha hard on the side of his face.

Kuririn had punched him.

It happened so fast, he didn't see it coming. Yamucha's head jerk backwards and his cheek began to swell. Kuririn pulled himself out of his grasp.

"Wait!" Yamucha called after him but he was already gone. He took off into the sky as fast as he could away from him.

Yamucha sat there for a long moment. His heart was still beating fast. He was only half aware of what he had done. It passed like it was some dream. He couldn't control himself. The words just came out of his mouth. He said that he loves him and he kissed him. He wanted him badly . . .

He remembered all his talk about getting married and having children. Just thinking about that made he him furious.

"What woman would want you anyway?" Yamucha said bitterly as though he was still here. "You're bald . . . you're short. You don't even have a fucking nose! You should be happy someone like me wants you!"

Tears gather in his eyes. He felt like such a fool. What happened replay over in his head for the rest of the night.

How could he be so stupid...What made him to think Kuririn would want him?

TBC