CHAPTER 1 : ALWAYS ON MY MIND

Toby and Merlin arrived back in Oxford the Friday with their courses due to start on the Monday and spent the first night at the Quilley's. Merlin had noticed that Mrs. Quilley looked not only thrilled but relieved to have Toby back. He could see that she needed some time alone with Toby so when Professor Angus called him over, he walked into the other room with him.

"My wife found having Toby so far away," he smiled sadly, "well, three hours at least, a little difficult. She is doing very well then it was Luca's birthday and she was all for driving to Liverpool to check up on Toby. You'll understand if you ever have a child."

Merlin thought about that later on. He didn't expect to ever be a father but he could imagine the pain Toby's family must have experienced.

He remembered that Gawaine, Toby and he had been wandering in Liverpool One when Toby had said out of the blue, "Luca would have been thirteen today!"

Merlin had found that his mind had gone blank but Gawaine had spoken up saying, "Did he have a favourite football team?"

Toby had grinned and said, "He would have said, Man Utd but he also had a soft spot for Man City."

Gawaine had laughed turning to Merlin to say, "That would be like supporting The Reds and having a soft spot for their arch rivals The Blues."

Merlin had added, "You wouldn't have lasted long in our school, if that had got out!"

Smiling Toby said sadly, "I think that was privileged information for the family…"

Merlin told Angus that Toby had mentioned his brother's birthday to Gawaine and him.

Angus smiled, "I knew it would be on his mind. They got on so well together. It was good for him to have university to attend as I was worried that he might have just spent all his time in their room." He smiled, "I'm glad he met up with you, it has helped him get through the year."

"Even though I seem to have dragged him into my problems."

"We'll get that settled this term. Arthur is working on it and he's got some promising leads. I also know that pressure has come from above as the four of you are in a respected project which the college wants continued and your being caught up in a residential conflict is not going over well."

They were interrupted by Toby who came in to say that his mother had tea ready, "...sausage rolls and egg sandwiches!"

His father sprinted into the kitchen and was at the table before the laughing boys were seated.

-0-0-

Gord offered to pick up Merlin's stuff from Arthur's and Toby went along for the ride. Toby was very impressed with the set up and Merlin was pleased that the space looked spotless, due in no doubt to Molly, Arthur's cleaning lady.

He grabbed the bags he'd left there a month ago. Then decided to show Toby the hidden TV monitor in the living room. His first reaction was to say to his brother that he'd have one like that for his next birthday. Gord had laughed but had also seemed impressed.

"Is it the only one here?" Toby had wanted to know and suddenly Merlin had felt uncomfortable explaining that the bedrooms also had them.

"Cool!" Toby said, "Tell Arthur when the time comes to upgrade to the next model, I could give the old one a new home."

Gord thought the same thing but said, "Come on, I didn't intend to take the whole day to delivery bags and boxes. I have a life you know!" His brother hooted at him and Merlin laughed.

With the three of them, they only needed to make one trip downstairs and Merlin was careful that the door was locked before he left. Things finally packed in the car, they drove to the residence.

Dunn was on duty and welcomed them back with a big smile, "Mr Quilley and Mr. Emrys, hope you had a good holiday. Are you ready to buckle down for your last term?" They told him that they were and signed in to get their keys.

-0-0-

Merlin felt good being back in his room. He first unlocked the cupboard where he had stored some of his belongings, everything seemed to be as he had left it. His bathroom was clean, there were fresh sheets and pillow cases on the bed and he brought his own pillows out and put the college ones away.

He opened the window enjoying the quiet. It wouldn't last long but they would have a week in the half empty college before all hell broke loose and the regular students returned. He closed the window and opening his door called to Toby who was in his own room.

It was great being able to unpack and talk back and forth across the hallway. Soon everything was in its place and Merlin glanced at his phone and it was time for dinner. Toby still had a box to unpack but he was ready to eat so left it figuring, he'd get back to it.

Supper was good, they had only just sat down when Tina and Beth walked in. Toby jumped up happy to see Tina. Merlin looked at Beth and slowly smiled saying, "We missed you."

Beth said, "Thank you, I hope I'm doing the right thing in coming back, my mother is against it," she tried to smile but wasn't successful, "Mrs Quilley promised that she will check up on me the whole time. She was very kind when we met her in Germany."

"We'll help too, "Tina said nodding toward Merlin and Toby, before saying, "We've had our rooms moved. We're closer to you and the stairs, rooms six and eight, adjoining rooms with a connecting door and bathroom. It counts as a family room in the guests pamphlet. It's great, you'll have to visit..."

Beth looked at her and laughed, "Well...once we are fully unpacked, as at the moment the whole place looks like my youngest brother's room."

Merlin could see that Beth was trying hard to be herself and he hoped that as time passed, she would be. "How long have you been here?" he asked.

"I've been staying with Toby's parents for ten days, as I was allowed to make up the time I missed last term."

Merlin turned to Toby and said, "You never told me!"

Beth smiled and said, "He wasn't supposed to, as the college felt the least number of people knowing that I was back here making up courses, the better."

"I think...," Merlin said, "that we should have something special, just to celebrate your return as once again the Four Musketeers are together."

Toby said, "Shame Old Kitchen Bar isn't open." Then added, "...or we could have an ice cream at..."

"Let's got to IScream!" the two girls said immediately and then laughed.

"We've time if we leave immediately," Beth said, "Everyone's got their keys?" They all nodded.

"Then let's go!" Toby said.

Conway who was on duty said, "Eleven o'clock, Ladies and Gentlemen!"

Suddenly, Toby said halfway down the street, "I don't have any money."

Merlin shook his head and grinned pulling out his bankcard waved it as he said, "No problem, it's on me tonight!"

"May I have a double scoop? " Tina asked and Beth laughed.

They were as it had been before Hilary, happy and relaxed together. Merlin would have loved to have known what exactly Mrs Quilley had said to Beth's mother to persuade her to let Beth return. He knew it was none of his business but he wondered how mothers coped when awful things happened to their children.

The four of them strolled back to Magdalen and got in by the skin of their teeth, with Toby saying, "Well, it might have been fun for all of us to have used our Late Gate keys. I'm sure they have security camera on the gates and we could have all smiled sweetly."

"Over something as insignificant as ice cream, I don't think so," Merlin said, "if I ever use the late gate it would have to be for a special reason."

"Like getting blathered and not being able to figure out where you belong?" Toby said.

"Not likely, Merlin doesn't drink. However, Toby, if the shoe fits…" Tina said with a grin.

-0-0-

Merlin decided that anything not already put way could wait until tomorrow. He crawled into bed luxuriating in the freshly laundered sheets. He had his window open and he could hear the rustling leaves and in the distance the late night Saturday traffic. He was going over in his mind what he need to do the following day when his phone buzzed and he reached for it.

A voice said, "Are you lonely in your double bed?" causing Merlin to laugh.

"Not at all, after three weeks in single beds, I was just marvelling at how wonderful it is."

"Merlin, I didn't phone to have you extoll the virtues of a double, I wanted to know if there was any chance that you miss me?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that you might!"

"Might? I would have you know that I am absolutely heart-broken that you are not here with me…even if it is against the rules! Where are you?"

"In Edinburgh with the CEO of our Northern region…"

"In a hotel?"

"No, in a house owned by my father and used by visiting big wigs. I'll bring you here sometime…when my father isn't around. On second thought, maybe I should have the two of you meet, the worst thing he can do is bite off my head and banish you to the dungeons."

"You certainly don't make meeting the parents sound very positive. I'll charm him and he'll be like a puppy dog, only too thrilled that I have decided to honour his family by going out with his son."

"It's not the going out with that I am worried about, it's what happens when we get home!"

Merlin laughed, "You certainly know how to make the distance between us seem further. By the way, I picked up my stuff from the condo. Gord used his father's car and got Toby and I settled in here. Also Beth is back, she's been staying at the Quilley's for the last ten days catching up on work missed and she and Tina are now in adjoining rooms. I think that's a good idea, as there is safety in numbers…"

"Maybe you and Toby could ask for adjoining rooms, then I needn't worry."

"We're as close as dammit to adjoining rooms, actually if we put a wall halfway down the corridor with a private door it would be as if we had our own wing. I'm doing all the talking, what about you?"

"Well, it has been one exciting thing after another, someone in our Paris office, absconded with a healthy amount of money only to be found in Majorca with his superior's wife! There was a failed hostile takeover of one of the companies in the US so that's where I was supposed to be going but with only one week left I was spared the trip and my father sent one of the directors and a young upcoming chap called Leon."

"Never heard the name before."

"I've known him from school for years. He's only been working for us since last summer but I've been spending time in the same department as him and we get along."

"Not too well, I hope!"

"Melin, I have eyes only for you as Leon only has eyes for his fiancee. Nice lady, one of the granddaughters of the founder of one of the companies my father bought years ago. She's a landscape artist and teaches at an arts college in London. I think you'd like her. Look up some of her work, her names Caldwell, Margaret but her family calls her Peggy. Talking about only having eyes for someone, have you see any interesting looking blokes recently?"

"Why would I be looking for blokes when I already have one?"

"You never know, I realise that I am extraordinarily handsome" Arthur heard Merlin laugh, "…and as I have been told exceptionally talented in the bedroom but I wondered if maybe being so used to my looks and abilities that you might have decided to branch out?"

"Arthur, if I thought for a moment that you were being serious I would be very hurt. Here I am, waiting with bated breath your return to Oxford and you are teasing me in a hurtful way which I can't do anything about it."

"Actually, I can think of a few things, you could do…" Merlin started laughing as Arthur made a list of a few things he could do while awaiting his return before adding, "Just remember to keep quiet!"

Merlin was laughing so much that he could have sworn that Arthur was in the room but he wasn't, he was a little under four-hundred miles away. He said, "Thanks for the suggestions some of which I feel sure would be easier to carry out if there were the two of us!"

Arthur then said that he would try to phone tomorrow evening and that he should be in Oxford Friday. "…and I'll expect you to be ready to be wined, dined…"

"…and bedded!" Merlin said laughing. "Good Night, Arthur, thanks for calling God Bless!"

Arthur said, "Good night, Merlin, I'll be dreaming of you!"

"..as you should!" Merlin replied and then disconnected. By the time Arthur got to Oxford, he wouldn't have seen him for four weeks which now that he looked back on it had seemed an eternity.

Merlin settled back and finally fell asleep with images of Arthur floating through his mind.

Dungeons and prey getting their heads bitten off by predators were foremost but then things settled and he saw the coastline of Wales and a lovely cottage which by now would be surrounded by trees in blossoms and spring flowers.

He gets up early and makes his way quietly out of the bedroom and wanders downstairs. The tide is in and he hears it slapping the rocks like an impatient child banging on the table for his meal. He lets himself out and wanders into the garden, he is barefoot and the dew is cold on his feet. His mother would not have approved and in his mind he can hear Gaius laughing and shaking his head as she tells him that he would catch a cold.

He walks to the corner of the house where the daffodils were in a protected area, scores of them and picks six in bud and six in flower. He's walking back to the house when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns and is face to face with an ogre of a man, holding a sack large enough for a head and brandishing an axe who pushes him against a tree and holds him there. Merlin can smell his unwashed body and rancid breath.

"You keeps away from my boy or else I won't be 'sponsible for what 'appens!" he growls, "ever 'eard of an oubliette, looking forward to spendin' eternity in an 'ole in the ground?"

The rising sun briefly blinds Merlin and the man becomes a business man and the axe a folded up newspaper and the sack a briefcase. The hand pushing him against the tree is his own clutching the daffodils.

The man goes to turn away and Merlin says, "Who are you?"

"Your own worst enemy!" and the figure seems to fade away.

Merlin looks around and then heads back to the house at a run. He puts the daffodils in the sink and heads upstairs. His decision to make breakfast and have a jug of daffodils on the table goes out of his mind, he bursts into the room and Arthur is looking out the window.

He turns to Merlin and says spitefully, "Saying goodbye to your lover! Is that why I woke alone?"

Merlin's heart pounded in his chest and he woke up gasping. That person couldn't have been Arthur as he never spoke to him like that. He tried desperately to hang onto the dream but all he could remember was the dew, the ogre and his threat and finally the business man. He picked up his phone and jotted them down.

He'd be able to tell Arthur about his dream when he spoke to him but he knew that Arthur's analytical mind would say that the dream represented what he had done or heard the day before.

-0-0-

It was beautiful when he finally woke up, the dream momentarily forgotten. Later, he was sitting having coffee after Mass with Tina and Toby who had offered to tag along when a church volunteer passed with a folded newspaper and the dream came flooding back. Certainly not as worrisome, as he was with friends in a familiar place but it was obviously still on his mind.

It was a lovely out and the streets were practically empty by next weekend the full compliment of students would be present.

"Let's enjoy it while we can," Toby said. They decided to make their way back to pick up Beth and do a couple of laps around Addison's Walk. It was a perfect day and it was not too crowded.

They came upon a marmalade a cat sitting on a rock and Tina wondered if a relative of his had been the model for Lewis Carroll's cheshire cat.

Then Merlin not to be outdone, made everyone stop as he was certain that he had seen a Hobbit running into the trees; he explained with a straight face, "Little chap was fishing in the river and you made so much noise that you scared him off."

" An Unlikely Tale'", Beth said, with a wicked grin on her face.

"Very clever," Tina said, "Three points." one each for L.C., Tolkien and Dyson.

It then became a game of who could outdo the others with quotes from or general suggestions about authors who had graduated from Magdalen.

"Dan Kavanagh…?" Toby stated.

There were a pause before Beth said, "Julian Barnes!"

Merlin said seriously, "A pact perhaps so distant that the archaeologist knows it where the historian does not!"

That stumped them and they guessed every author they could come up with until suddenly Toby said, "Something to do with a swimming pool." Merlin made a beckoning sign for him to continue but he couldn't.

"Come on, Merlin, give me a clue."

"OK, Alan…!" He waited but nothing so he added, "It will give you something to look up tonight."

"Have I Got News For You,'he's never going to get it," Tina said.

The three others said in unison, "Ian Hislop!"

Merlin said, "Well, maybe he could 'Tell Me On A Sunday' eh?"

Toby to redeem himself said quickly, "Andrew Lloyd Webber."

In no time they had completed two laps and were still discussing English authors with names like Lawrence and Wilde flying back and forth. "Don't forget Lord Alfred Bruce Douglas," Merlin added with a grin.

-0-0-

They met up again for supper and Tina said afterwards, "Let's sit in the Middle Common Room and chat, might as well enjoy it this week as next week it'll be packed." Soon they were ready to return to their rooms as tomorrow would be the start of their last term as Freshers.

Merlin decided that if Arthur was still with the CEO they were probably at supper, so he waited until after ten o'clock to phone him.

Arthur asked if everything was all right and Merlin launched into his dream. If Merlin hadn't been so serious about it Arthur would have laughed but figuring it was partly nerves at being back in residence, he listened carefully even though he could see it as a rerun of their conversation the previous night.

"Remind me not to tell you any horror stories before you go to sleep, My Love. The ogre must have been my father who would bite off my head when he learns about you and the axe probably represents a guard's weapon in the dungeon where you would be thrown.

"So that you will not have any nightmares tonight, how about I tell you all about a snowstorm, a deserted cottage and one exceedingly handsome brunet who stole a man's heart which forced said poor man to fall head over heels in love with him…or maybe the story of Goldilocks."

"I think I'll concentrate on being snowbound as otherwise I might dream of bears!" Merlin said.