Sam's rocking his brand new baby girl.
He can't take his eyes off her beautiful face and soft brown curls. She looks like a tiny version of her mother (although he's been told she has his mouth). He just only seems to see the Andy in her.
Jussy stares up at him with deep brown eyes. Andy told him she thinks that although the shape of their daughter's eyes may be more her, the eyes staring back are pure Sam. Said you could see all the way to her soul, just like her daddy's eyes.
Justine Isabella Swarek, Sam lets the name roll off his tongue.
They decided to christen their daughter with a name that was completely her own. Didn't want old ghost haunting her with past memories and baggage.
It amazes him that he got here at all. He never imagined himself with his own family. Had convinced himself that he didn't want one. Didn't think he could handle putting himself in the position of loving someone to the degree that it gave them the power to destroy him. Looking at his daughter, he knows it's too late. (Hell, it was too late when he met Andy).
He tries so hard not to worry about the future (or the past). Wishes sometimes he could take his small family far away from any danger that could befall them. Knows he's being ridiculous, but also knows there's nothing he can do about his need to protect them. And as much as he worries about his danger prone wife, it won't begin to compare to the worry that will plague him concerning this tiny, helpless bundle in his arms.
The baby looks up at him with such innocence and trust that it breaks him a little.
He softly whispers "I love you, Jussy" swears he will tell her everyday for the rest of her life.
He's gotten better at vocalizing his feelings, tells Andy everyday how much he loves her, but knows that expressing himself will never come easy for him.
He thinks it all the time - how much she means to him, how he knows he couldn't make it without her - but getting the words to come out is like trying to pull weeds from cement.
The only place he feels safe whispering his most honest and heartfelt feelings are when it's just the two of them, cocooned in their bed during the darkest of night, feeling like they're the only two in the world.
He kinda hates that about himself, makes him feel guilty likes he's making Andy miss out on something.
He DOES make sure to show her everyday what she means to him and he's pretty sure she knows by now, but still...
Holding their daughter he knows everything is right with the world, this was always where he was meant to end up, even if he took the roughest of roads to get here.
He hears the front door open and close. Andy returning from picking up dinner. She told him she hadn't been out of the house in days and figured she could manage leaving Jussy for 20 minutes, although she stood at the front door giving him instructions (that he already knew...but he kept quite) for 15 more minutes. (If she cries really high that means she has gas, if she cries kinda low and fussy like, she just wants to be held.)
Sam continues to rock Jussy, he just can't bring himself to put her down yet. Plus he knows Andy will run upstairs to them before he could ever make it down to her.
She comes in the baby's room with a smile on her face, enjoying the sight of the father and daughter quality time.
He looks up at her and grins, dimples going deeper than she ever thought possible.
She walks over and leans down kissing Jussy, then softly places a kiss on Sam's lips.
He rises and hands the baby to her (could tell her arms were itching for her).
Andy takes his spot in the rocking chair and nestles Jussy close, planting kisses all over her tiny face, then looks up at Sam, giving him one of her own famous smiles.
He realizes that as much as he loves holding and looking at their baby girl, it doesn't even begin to compare to how much he loves watching Andy hold and gaze adoringly at her.
