Contessa was bawling into her food again, wailing her heart out as she stuffed pastry after pastry into her gaping maw. This created a lot of sprayed food particles and a muffled tone to her crying, but she continued to weep nonetheless, heedless to the mess she was making of herself. And just why was this madwoman mourning so terribly? Well, it was because she was missing one of the other inmates dearly. That other inmate, Captain Maggots, had been away for a month now, off sailing the seven seas and living out her dream of being a pirate.

Ever since Emilie and friends had captured the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls away from the cruel doctors that used to own the institution, all of the inmates within the asylum walls had reached a new level of freedom and wealth. Maggots, taking her share of the plunder following the final battle for the asylum, had managed to scrape together enough money to buy herself a boat and go sailing. It wasn't a giant or magnificent ship, but it was seaworthy nonetheless and that was all that mattered to the orange-haired pirate.

Now, it was nearing Day 30 of her exploration of the seas and Contessa was starting to really miss that old pirate captain.

"She's gone away and left me here, all alone!" Contessa howled miserably to herself, hiding away in a darker corner of the asylum so none of the other girls would see her looking so broken up and sad. "It's been a whole month and she hasn't even sent me any letters! Waaaaaaahhhhh!" Like a child, Contessa continued to sob over the absent pirate captain, lamenting and longing for the day Maggots would come home.

"Oh! My Maggots lies over the ocean!" the woman found herself singing miserably. "My Maggots lies over the sea! My Maggots lies over the ocean! Oh bring back My Maggots to me! Yeah bring back, oh bring back, oh bring back My Maggots to me, to me! Oh bring back, oh bring back, oh bring back My Maggots to me!" she finished her little mourning song painfully off-key, but she didn't care at all. Instead, she continued to sit in that dark corner of the asylum, sniffling to herself and stuffing more cakes and cookies into her face, all alone.

Scratch that. She wasn't so alone anymore. Not long after Contessa had finished her miserable song, Aprella and Veronica came skipping into her area of the asylum. It was clear that they, unlike Contessa, had not come to this emptier part of the asylum to mourn. Instead, they were about to get into a rather sexy, dirty round of fun. Contessa only watched them with sad and envious eyes, making no sound as Aprella and Veronica drew ever closer, dirty and breathy words filling that corner of the asylum.

Suddenly, though, those crooning and lust-filled words and whispers changed into a cry of surprise when Aprella and Veronica finally caught sight of Contessa, sitting forlornly alone on the floor.

"Contessa? What the Hell is going on out here?" Veronica was the one who asked, sounding as though it had been she who had been interrupted instead of the other way around. Aprella shot her a withering look before taking a gentler approach, actually noticing the tears in Contessa's eyes, which Veronica, herself, had missed in the shock of just seeing Contessa there at all.

"Why are you so sad?" Aprella asked, kneeling down and using her thumbs to brush at some of the tears on Contessa's face.

"Eee-ung parred to a pirah is diffi-ul!" Contessa wailed through her filled mouth, but Aprella understood what she'd really said: "Being married to a pirate is difficult!" but even though Aprella understood what Contessa said, she didn't understand what Contessa meant.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Contessa, after hastily swallowing the last of what was in her mouth, finally whimpered out a coherent reply.

"Pirates are always looking for gold, and more booty, and Maggots left me here all alone and without Maggots I feel DEAD INSIDE!" Contessa began to howl again and both Aprella and, finally, Veronica, uttered cries of sympathy and understanding.

"Maggots?" Aprella tried to joke over Contessa's sobbing. "What about leeches?"

"No, they're not the same as Maggie-Mag!" Contessa wailed, voice rising in pitch as she finished her sentence. While Aprella continued to watch Contessa cry sadly, Veronica finally walked over to join them both on the floor. Unlike Aprella, however, Veronica took a more... physical approach to Contessa's problem, seductive voice turning on at once (not that it ever really turned off).

"Contessa, you know there is more than one kind of marriage, right?" she asked the weeping, wailing woman.

"What?" through her tears, Contessa was genuinely surprised by this remark.

"You can love more than one person at the same time!" Veronica clarified.

"What?" Contessa repeated, though this time, it was more from disbelief than confusion.

"Contessa," Veronica said. "Have you ever wanted to... consummate, when Maggots is not around?"

Unlike Aprella, who saw Contessa's longing for Maggots as a purely emotional loneliness, Veronica saw it as a form of sexual frustration as well. After all, Maggots had been gone for almost a month at this point. Nearly 30 days of no sex would be enough to drive anyone bonkers! Veronica could hardly go 30 minutes, let alone 30 days! So she played with the idea that some of Contessa's grief was actually sexual frustration and brought it to the grieving woman's mind.

That wasn't to say Veronica thought Contessa only missed Maggots for sexual reasons, she just took the more sexual perspective because it was a highly under-talked-about perspective even in the new asylum. So many inmates were still somewhat afraid to talk about a subject that had been hammered into their heads, literally sometimes, as being a big taboo. Veronica, however, fancied herself a sexologist and had no problem asking the more sexual questions. It was her forte, and as she saw it, her civic duty to bring these issues to light.

"I do," Contessa confessed. Veronica gasped in delight. So! Her idea had been true! Some of Contessa's grief was sexual frustration! Encouraged, the self-proclaimed sexologist quickly whipped around to Aprella, keen upon studying another test subject.

"Aprella! Do you ever feel lonely after you've killed all your lovers?" she asked excitedly. This, though, was somewhat of an outdated question. Perhaps in the before-times, before all of them had been committed to the asylum, this had been Aprella's biggest issue: shooting all of her lovers once she was done with them, but of late, she had yet to fire a single bullet from her gun. Her last shot had gone through a doctor's skull, one who had promised her that he loved her, but like all the other doctors and other men Aprella had known, it was nothing but a lie. But even though Aprella never regretted killing any of her manipulative male lovers, she couldn't help but admit...

"I do," she nodded in agreement with Contessa as they both looked at Veronica. Veronica looked so proud of herself now.

"Do you ever feel like one just isn't enough?" she asked them both, taking their hands in her own.

"I do!" Contessa and Aprella both agreed in unison.

"Then I think we just got married!" Veronica cried and the other two squealed in delight, finally hopping up from the stony floors. While Aprella practically began glowing, Contessa forced out her very first smile since she'd bade Maggots farewell on the docks... But before that sad memory could taint this happy moment, Contessa pushed it aside and focused upon her new "wives". They could keep her company until Maggots returned!

But in time, even the pleasure that came from Veronica and Aprella faded and Contessa became despondent again. They were nearing an entire season of Maggots being gone and Contessa was growing sick with worry, anger and general loneliness.

"My Maggots lies over the ocean!" the woman had since begun to sing this sad little tune once more. "My Maggots lies over the sea! My Maggots lies over the ocean! Oh bring back My Maggots to me! Yeah bring back, oh bring back, oh bring back My Maggots to me, to me! Oh bring back, oh bring back, oh bring back My Maggots to me!" but as before, Maggots did not come home, so Contessa continued to sing her song as a solo, badly wishing for it to become a duet and for her wife, other half and backup singer to come back home to her.

"Any news on the Captain?" Aprella had once asked Emilie directly about Maggots' potential whereabouts. Before then, Aprella had just assumed that Maggots would come home when she decided to come home. Seeing how bad Contessa was fairing without her, though, Aprella was beginning to worry. She wondered if there was some way they could reach out to the pirate captain and get her to end her voyage already and come back to her wife before said wife slipped back into madness.

"No," Emilie replied, sounding just as sad and frustrated as Aprella. She, too, had seen how poorly Contessa was doing and it worried her greatly, but there was literally nothing she could do. Comforts weren't working and although Emilie did finally try and use medication, even that seemed to be losing its effects upon Contessa. Now, it seemed like the only cure for her aching heart would be Maggots, but where on earth was she?

The answer would come with time. After being away for just one week shy of three whole months, Maggots' trusty little sea vessel finally touched the asylum shores again. It was a little worse for wear, but it was still very solid, and Maggots patted the hull fondly as she leapt out of it and onto the warm sand lining her country's shore. As absolutely amazing as living the pirate life had been, she really had missed the asylum. Though her heart belonged to the sea, her soul belonged to the asylum, and she was glad to be back.

But even more than seeing the asylum again, Maggots couldn't wait to see one particular inmate again, her wife: Contessa! Already, the orange-haired pirate found herself anticipating a warm, loving reunion and as she raced towards the asylum, she clutched a little box close to her chest. It was a gift she'd gotten for Contessa while sailing home. It would be Maggots' way of promising that, in all the seas she sailed, Contessa's memory followed her through each and every one...

The initial meeting went just the way Maggots had expected, and hoped. It was filled with a lot of kissing and crying from everyone, especially Contessa. Contessa had actually come sprinting through the asylum doors, launching herself at Maggots so hard that Maggots nearly dropped the box containing Contessa's gift. That part was just fine. What wasn't fine, however, was then being subject to Contessa's wrath at being kept waiting so long. Both of Maggots' ears were nearly chewed right off, figuratively and literally, as Contessa snarled and snapped at her for being gone for nearly three months without even a word to give an update.

"Sorry," Maggots grinned sheepishly as her wife continued to chew her out. The others only watched in amusement, all relieved and delighted to have their trusty little pirate captain home safe, but also way too invested into watching Contessa unleash three months of pent up rage to do more than spectate the argument eagerly.

At last, however, Maggots got a word in edgewise and held out the box.

"I got you a gift!" she cried and, struck by a sudden wave of shyness, she turned away from Contessa as Contessa took the little box from her, rage forgotten in a moment of surprise.

"A gift?" she echoed.

"A gift!" Maggots confirmed. "Brought you a little something I picked up while traveling that I thought you'd like!"

"So you did think of me while you were away!" Contessa sounded even happier about this than the fact that Maggots had gotten her a gift.

"Of course!" Maggots nodded. "Now open your present!" and Contessa obeyed. Sitting there, in that little box, was a very rare and expensive type of tea. Already, it was in a gorgeous little teacup, steaming gently. How Maggots had managed to get it that far without it spilling even a little was anyone's guess, but Contessa didn't care. Instead, she raised the cup high, proud, and all the other watching inmates clapped happily.

"Oh! Is that for me?" a voice interrupted the celebration. It was Emilie herself. Without understanding the significance of that teacup, she swooped in and plucked it right out of Contessa's outstretched arm, drinking it all down in one gulp.

"Delicious!" she grinned, then she put the cup back in Contessa's still-outstretched arm. "Thanks for that," she said and while Contessa could only stare sadly at the now-empty cup, the others hid smiles and laughs behind their hands. Good old Emilie, trying to play the innocently insensitive joke only to accidently steal a very important cup of tea. But no one blamed her for what she had done, not even Contessa.

Although Contessa was a little disappointed she hadn't even had a drop of that rare, special tea, having Maggots back was good enough for her! So, while Emilie gave the official welcoming speech to the returning inmate, Contessa, herself, wrapped a long arm around the tiny, orange-haired pirate in a hug that was very long overdue. Maggots finally seemed to understand just how badly Contessa had missed her, but she was able to more than make up for all that lost time later that night and Contessa finally forgave Maggots for her long sea voyage.

"I don't mind if you go on more journeys," she said that night as she and Maggots curled up together under the sheets. "Just promise you'll try and write at least a few times while you're gone."

"Sorry I didn't," Maggots replied. "But postage was a real drag!"

"Well, I forgive you," Contessa replied.

"Don't you always?" Maggots grinned at her.

"You know I do, and I always will, my love," Contessa finally allowed a real look of tenderness to flicker across her face as she pulled Maggots in for another kiss. Maggots' own goofy grin became serious and passionate as she kissed Contessa back, just as deeply.

"My wife," she mumbled happily. As fun as pirating was, Contessa's booty was the best kind of all. Contessa, meanwhile, hummed happily to herself as she and Maggots kissed. That same old song from before was still playing in her head, only this time, the tune was far happier and the words were just a little bit different, but to Contessa, that difference meant the entire world.

"My Maggots sailed over the ocean, my Maggots sailed over the sea! My Maggots sailed over the ocean, but back home came Maggots to me, to me! Brought back, brought back, brought back home was Maggots, to me!"

AN: Based off the "My Bonnie" song by the Beatles, and based off the time in which Maggie Lally had to leave EA for awhile.

There's a Youtube video, "Contessa misses Captain Maggots" that details the first half of this fic and there's another video (though I can't find it anymore) that details Maggots' return, including the tea-gift and Emilie accidently drinking it because she didn't realize it was a gift. I wish I could find that video so the ending of the fic could be a bit better, but I've been searching for hours, so I'm just going off from memory. It's been years since last I saw that clip, but it was funny enough to remain in my mind ever since.

In short, just more cute Maggessa because I ship them a lot. They're cute together!

Also, sidenote about the plot, this is "Stage Canon".