Journey of the Mind

OK, Standard Disclaimer. I don't own SeaQuest or any of the characters involved in it. All my stories are amateur works. As always comments are welcome, criticism is OK too as long as it's constructive. Destructive criticism will be taken as an indication that you need something else to do with your free time :-)

This story takes place during the time the second SeaQuest is being built.

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Journey of the Mind

By Marv (marvid@interaccess.com)

Rated: R for sexual content

The rain fell softly from leaden skies. It didn't usually rain like this in New Cape Quest. Normally, the rain either lasted for only a couple of hours or it was more violent and blustery but this was just a gentle, all-day rain. It certainly had put a damper on their plans for their Saturday off. Lucas had understandably found other things to do. He was getting pretty creative that way. Kristin thought that Lucas had figured out that if he tried to laze around over the weekend that Nathan always came up with some project around the house he needed help with. As soon as it became apparent that any thoughts of the trip to the zoo they had been planning were washed out by the rain, Lucas had announced that he'd had 'another offer' and taken off with Tim and Miguel. Those two young men were getting far too good at bailing Lucas out.

Kristin really didn't mind it though. Without Lucas to help him Nathan had puttered around the house some and then decided that he'd just spend the day reading a book. Kristin considered that a better option anyway, Nathan could use the rest. He'd been working hard on the construction of the new seaQuest and he was tired both physically from the long hours and mentally from the constant activity needed to work out the problems and challenges which accompanied the building.

They'd both settled out on the porch with their books. Kristin choosing a well padded white wicker chair that looked out over the water and Nathan stretching out on the matching wicker sofa across from her. Kristin had been reading for only about 20 minutes before she noticed that Nathan's book had dropped from his hand and he was fast asleep. She smiled as she glanced over his sleeping form and then really stopped to look at him, looked at this man who 18 months before had only been a name and a reputation to her. When you thought about it, it was amazing the difference those 18 months had made. She thought back to their first meeting, when she took him to be some slightly scruffy stowaway type who certainly had no business interjecting his opinion of her discussion with Ford through his laughter as he did. She'd almost dismissed him completely until she had discovered who he was. She'd heard of him, of course. His studies in thermal range variances and ocean layer scatter had been brilliant. She'd even tried to contact him regarding some studies she was doing but had been told that he was 'unreachable'.

"Unreachable', what a simple word to describe the isolation that Nathan and Carol had put themselves through after their son's death. They'd removed to his island and immersed themselves in research, refusing the overtures of the outside world. Kristin couldn't imagine the pain that the couple had suffered, especially as she knew that Nathan blamed himself for Robert's death. At least in the beginning, Carol and Nathan had each other to cling to. But then, then after Carol's sudden death, the agony that she knew Nathan went through must have been beyond belief. She'd lost one husband herself and knew the emptiness, the awful desperation that accompanied that loss. But she'd had family and friends to comfort her and help. Nathan had closed himself away on his island and went through that turmoil alone. That he had survived with any sanity was a testament to his courage…and his stubbornness.

One of these days she was going to have to get around to thanking Bill Noyce for convincing him to visit seaQuest. Bill knew that the visit would be all that it would take to sever that isolation he'd imposed on himself. Nathan and the boat belonged together, Noyce knew that, and by the time that they'd cleared Pearl Harbor, Nathan knew too. He might have denied it for a while longer but he knew. He had slipped so naturally into the role of running seaQuest. His combination of scientific and military experience was the perfect mix to keep peace between the two different parts of his crew. She grinned to herself. Well, almost always keeping peace.

Their respective roles had thrown them together often from the start and soon Kristin found that she was regarding him not only as the captain of the boat but also as a man. That truly surprised her. It would have been simple to say that after the divorce she had sworn off men but that was too easy an explanation. She'd been hurt too deeply, not only by this divorce but by the preceding one, to ever think that it was possible to trust a man again. But she found herself drawn to this complex, haunted man. If she had ever seen any indication that he felt the same she probably would have made overtures to expand the relationship but there was always that barrier. Kristin found herself envying Carol Bridger for the deep love and loyalty that her husband felt for her even after death. It was almost hard to say when she had realized that he was beginning to consider her as more than a crewmember but as a woman. They'd talked about it later, Kristin teasing him that she thought he'd never let her in but Nathan had said that his change of heart was Lucas' fault. The end of the tour on seaQuest had left him recalling the beginning. During his reverie he'd remembered that the final reason he'd stayed was Lucas' simple explanation about how 'things change'.

She remembered the night he had softly explained to her what led to his opening up. He'd been sitting in his cabin after a long shift trying to wind down. His mind had cast back across the various events of the last year and he'd suddenly realized that her face kept appearing in his memories. That, dotted throughout the adventures and occurrences which filled the year, there were pictures and memories of her. What really confused him was how he felt about her. He realized how much he looked forward to seeing her each day and treasured the time they spent working together. As he glanced over at Carol's picture on his desk it suddenly occurred to him that just because he was opening a new part of his life didn't mean that he had to close another. That new things that happened to him didn't erase the old. His voice had held a certain amount of awe when he explained that then was the first time he realized that he loved her. He'd only kissed her once before, and that was a 'friendly kiss' but he knew then that he loved her. Since then he'd told her that what truly amazed him was that the love he felt then had only been the tip of the iceberg.

She knew what he meant. The feelings and attraction she had felt for him throughout the tour had deepened until she also realized she was in love with him. She teased him that he was slow on the uptake since she'd realized it way before he'd admitted it to himself. But the feelings she'd had for him then seemed to be miniscule compared to how she felt for him now. As their relationship expanded she felt that her love for him grew each time she was with him. Each thing he did, each word he said, built on the foundation that made up their love and intensified their feelings towards each other.

Kristin looked at him now, sleeping on the couch, rolled over on his left side with his head pillowed on the arm he had extended over his head. She began a slow assessment of the man that lay there. She started down at his feet and legs. They were his means of propulsion through the world. Always being where he needed to be, always coming to the rescue when necessary but she preferred to think of them entwined with her own as they slept. Kristin looked at his feet. She liked his feet. On days off like today he rarely wore socks so they had made it their little joke to have a rousing game of footsies under the table. Lucas usually pretended he didn't know what was going on but occasionally they got that 'they're at it again' look from him.

Her gaze wandered up to his hips and butt. She really liked his butt. She'd told him that once and thought he would die from embarrassment. Well, at least she hadn't said it in front of other people. But she did like it. It was cute. She could write chapters about what she liked about the rest of his hip area but she settled for moving her eyes up to his waist. She didn't know how he managed to keep such a trim belly. His stomach muscles were tight and wonderful to touch. He really didn't exercise much, other than some running but he seemed to always be in shape. Perhaps it was his diet. She had to admit that since she came to live with Lucas and Nathan the quality of the food she ate had improved. And Lucas certainly wasn't to blame. Given his choice they'd probably have pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Nathan, however, knew his way around a kitchen. He was a marvel in creating healthy meals that tasted sinful.

And then there was his chest. Kristin thought about the feel of his chest as well as how it looked. When she ran her fingers over his chest she could feel every rib and the muscles in his pecs. He didn't have much hair on his chest, just enough. She thought about how he would gasp sometimes when she played with his nipples and how it felt to slide her hands across his chest and around to his back. His back was firm and ever so huggable. Kristin smiled as she recalled how he would shiver when she ran her fingernails up his spine and how comforting it was to hold onto those shoulders. It always amazed Kristin when he held her how they were just the right size for each other. Whether they were standing or sitting her head leaned against his shoulder in a perfect way. Their arms fit around each other just right and their bodies molded together flawlessly.

There was something else about his chest. It held his heart. As a doctor Kristin knew that the heart was only a muscle to push blood around but it was really more. Especially in Nathan. He was different than a lot of military-types she knew. He cared. He not only cared but he did something about the things he cared about. His heart certainly was large, big enough to hold her and Lucas, a boy he had no real responsibility for but took in because he felt that Lucas needed him, big enough to hold the worries and concerns of each of his crewmembers and big enough to worry about the world as a whole and try to do something to improve it. At night sometimes she would sleep with her head on his chest, she would listen to his heart and its soft beat would calm her.

She moved her eyes to his arms. Arms which could be so strong in comfort or so restless in distress. She'd seen the stance of his arms alone express his rage and felt their hold as he soothed anguish. She liked it when he stood behind her and wrapped those arms around her body. They would engulf her as she drew her tranquility from him. And then there were his hands. Hands that could fashion a needed part out of junk, hands that could deftly draw a design or edit a concept, hands that could search out a certain shell from the sands of the sea floor and hands that could skillfully operate scientific equipment. These were also the hands that she had seen clenched in anger and frustration. These hands had struck out in rage at an enemy and bested evil. She had watched as these hands had soothed a child's tears and fed a hungry baby. She'd seen him with his hands alone convey comfort, understanding and love. Certain images came to her mind. His hand as it lay on Tim O'Neil's shoulder calming him during a crisis, his hands as they stroked Darwin's melon conveying a feeling only Nathan and Darwin understood, his hand as he patted Miguel on the back when something went well, and then, his hands as they comforted Lucas on the night he decided he needed to tell them about his mother and the abuse she'd inflicted on him. Then she remembered later that night after Lucas finally went to sleep, how those hands had clenched in anger as Nathan reviewed what he'd like to do to Lucas' mother. And then there were the times when his hands were hers and hers alone. Then they were amazing hands. The times they roved over her body, leaving a fiery touch in their wake. The times they softly caressed her face as he looked deep into her eyes. The times that they reached deep inside of her and played with her soul and the times that they held her tight in the throes of passion.

Reluctantly she left her memories of his talented hands and moved to his neck. His neck was perfect. It was just the right size to hold her head between his shoulder and chin providing a dual caress. She especially liked the place she had found on his neck just below his left ear. She'd found it was an especially tender spot and that she could have him panting raggedly within seconds by kissing and sucking on it. Unfortunately it had also been the place of a couple of hickeys which didn't make Nathan very happy. His neck was also a good place to read his mood. When he was upset there was a certain tenseness to his neck that she didn't think was apparent to everyone. But she could see it. And, of course, there was the color of his neck. When he paled, his face was almost always first but when he got angry his neck started to turn red before his face. The same thing when he was embarrassed. His neck would almost always turn a shade of crimson before any other change in his color or demeanor could be seen. It had helped her a few times to be able to pick up on his mood change before something unfortunate had happened.

Her gaze slid up to his ears. He had exceptional hearing but she'd discovered that he could hear considerably better in his left ear than his right. He'd explained that he'd damaged his right ear during some 'unexpected gunnery'. Considering his mood at the time Kristin had decided not to pursue that. However his decreased hearing in that ear had an advantage. When she and Nathan escaped onto the porch to get away from Lucas when he was practicing his 'music', Nathan would lie on the couch he was on now. He said that when he lay down on his left side he couldn't hear the 'racket' near as much. There was another thing she liked about his ears. She liked nibbling and licking his ear when they were necking. It almost always made him groan in pleasure.

His hair came next in her consideration of him. It had been black at one time, not dark black but a lighter shade, but now it was a very distinguished salt and pepper mix. He had thick hair which was wonderful to run your fingers through. Although he didn't spend much time in the morning combing his hair into place, Lucas spent far more time than he did, Nathan's hair was almost always neat looking. Since they'd been ashore he'd kept it trimmed rather short. Kristin supposed it was the close proximity of the brass but she actually preferred it a bit longer.

Then there was his face. There was so much about his face that Kristin loved. First there were those eyes. The eyes that could look through you or right into your heart. She'd gotten pretty good at reading his feelings through his eyes. The first indication was the color. They were normally a surprising cerulean blue that would darken in passion. They could also be a steely blue when he was angry or a flat cyan blue when he didn't want to express any feeling. Kristin found the latter to be the most disturbing. When his eyes went cyan you never quite knew what was going on in his head but it almost always meant that he was hiding. Whether he was hiding his emotions or trying to keep you away from some veiled part of his life it was the most difficult to break through. Kristin had learned that when he got that way it was almost always best to drop whatever subject had come up.

She could remember only once where she managed to penetrate the cyan eyes. About four months ago Lucas had come to her concerned about Nathan. He said that he'd been really quiet for a couple of days and had taken to going up on the point at the base for hours at a time. The point was a remote outcropping that overlooked the sea. It was away from the main base and there was no way to drive up there. You had to walk the last half-mile through dense brush. He'd taken off for there right after lunch with the comment that he might be back before the end of the work day, otherwise Lucas was to find himself a ride home. Kristin had gone up to the point to see if she could find him. Fifteen minutes of walking down a barely defined trail had made her glad that she'd worn her jeans and sneakers. As she broke out of the dense brush she saw Nathan sitting on a rock over one of the most scenic views she'd ever seen. The bright blue sea spread out before them and the sounds of the surf crashed on the rocks below. Nathan never even heard her approach. He was so lost in thought that Kristin hesitated about touching him and instead came up on his left side so that he could see her. When he realized she was there he raised up a face with anguished eyes. The anguish was almost immediately replaced by the cyan, hooded eyes. They'd talked a while, Kristin trying gently to get Nathan to tell her what was wrong with little success. Then he'd abruptly stood and walked away from her to look out over a different section of the sea. Figuring that she'd pushed him as far as she should Kristin just stayed sitting on the ground where she was and played with the grass growing at her feet. She was surprised when she saw Nathan sit down in front of her. His eyes still had that blank, cyan look but he reached forward and took her hands in his without a word. He absently rubbed her hands while she saw his eyes slowly change from the cyan color to something closer to normal. He started talking about how that particular day was his and Carol's wedding anniversary and also Robert's birthday. She hadn't known that both events had occurred on the same day. Nathan explained that last year, when they were aboard the seaQuest, the anniversary was easier to take since he'd been so involved in running the boat…but that this year there seemed to be more time to think about it. Head bent, he'd talked for over an hour about their lives and what they'd been through. At the end of the hour his voice seemed to just fade away…and then he raised his face to her, his eyes filled with tears and said, "It's just sometimes…sometimes I miss them so much." Kristin had pulled him to her and held him while he cried. She knew how he felt, she thought of how much she missed her first husband sometimes and then she had cried too.

Kristin shook her self out of the memory of that day and thought of how she preferred those eyes when they were laughing. Nathan had the ability to put on what she referred to as 'little boy eyes'. Lucas would have called them puppy dog eyes and on him it was appropriate. When Lucas did it there was almost always something he wanted. When Nathan pulled the little boy eyes routine it was almost always because he was in the process of getting into mischief. His eyes would sparkle with a little gleam that always boded trouble. The worst was when he and Lucas both got that way. Then you never knew what kind of money business they had in mind. It could be as simple as having stolen the last piece of pie to as complicated as the two of them reversing the seats on her car. She still hadn't quite figured out how they had managed to do that one. Those eyes could be thoughtful, they were fascinating to watch when Nathan was in the throes of a supposedly brilliant idea and it was even better when the idea actually turned out to be brilliant and whatever design, plan or scheme he had come up with worked. She'd seen pride in those eyes. When Lucas had made a presentation on his vocorder project to the professors at MIT in preparation of going for his doctorate, Nathan had sat there with his eyes filled with pride and admiration of the boy. She'd even seen nervousness in those eyes. Right after Lucas had done his presentation, Nathan had also presented his theory for his doctorate to the same panel. It had been one of his deals with Lucas, if Lucas would go for his doctorate then Nathan would too. He'd been nervous but had made a brilliant presentation and they were both well on their ways to finishing their theses.

Those eyes could be hard. She'd been the recipient of that hard stare on occasion when they'd faced off with their legendary stubborn wills. He had to be the only person she knew who was more stubborn than she was. They had always managed to break through their stubbornness one way or another, or they had just agreed that they'd never agree on certain subjects. That was when Kristin thought about how his eyes looked when he said that the best part about getting in an argument with her was making up. For as hard as his eyes could get, they could get just as soft. The look in his eyes when she unexpectedly caught him looking at her could take her breath away. With his eyes alone, he could raise her passion and bring her into his arms. He could look at her across a room and she'd know that he was searching out her eyes. They could share an unspoken desire from a distance. She thought about the different looks he got in his eyes when they made love. The fiery passionate look, the soft concerned look, the far away look of pleasure and then the glazed look afterwards. She knew that she had seen more in those eyes than anyone else in the world.

Right now his eyes were closed in a peaceful, contented sleep. Kristin moved on to his nose. Well, she did have to admit that it gave him character. His nose had been broken…more than once. She knew that he broke it as a teenager four weeks before entering the academy when he crashed his father's car and the airbag had rearranged his face. She'd asked once and he had said that he probably had broken it twice since then. While it had that definite broken look, Kristin thought it actually improved his appearance. It was rather interesting to run her finger down the bridge of his nose and feel the various directions it went. She thought about the smell of him. She supposed that the smell of him would actually have to do with her nose and not his. But she liked it. She thought he smelled like the sea. He said she smelled like jasmine. She'd tried another perfume once. Nathan had made it through most of the evening before he had made any comment. They'd finished their dinner and he was just bringing her home. They'd eaten close to her condo so they'd walked and as they wandered through the park Nathan had casually asked if she had changed her perfume. Kristin remembered answering yes and then asking Nathan if he liked it. She'd been a bit put out when he said 'not particularly'. Seeing her reaction, he'd quickly explained that while he didn't dislike the new perfume, he liked the way she smelled before. He liked how the old perfume combined with her body. He then went on to graphically explain where and in what way the old perfume smelled better and they had barely made it to her condo before they would have made a public scene. Kristin had thrown out the bottle of the new perfume.

Kristin moved down to his mouth. There was so much about his mouth. First, there was his voice. His voice could run the full gamut of emotions. She'd seen him take command of a room full of babbling people with only his voice. Lucas knew that the tone of Nathan's voice was a good indication of just how much he could get away with. He didn't know it, but she'd heard him sing. He had a soft melodious singing voice that was very gentle. He actually could hold a tune rather well but if you were to ask him, he'd tell you he didn't sing. Someday she might find out why. She loved to listen to him as he went through the day with his normal speaking voice. It amazed her how he could use it in so many different ways in a short period of time. Out at the construction hall he could be encouraging one worker, sympathizing with another, putting a third in his place and efficiently doling out instructions all in the space of minutes. And he definitely had different voices for different situations. At work he had one set of voices. His official, 'talking to the brass' voice was far different from the voice he even used to talk to Bill Noyce, who could be considered brass himself if it weren't for the years that he and Nathan had known each other. He had his 'giving another tour of the damned boat' voice and his 'Captain to junior officer voice'. At home there were a different set of voices. The 'Lucas could you clean up your room' voice, his 'are you ever going to get out of the bathroom' voice, and his 'all business, getting a project done' voice. His laughing, playful voice was her favorite and thankfully, the one she heard the most lately. He could be quite a little scamp she smiled to herself. He could be very loud, but he could be very soft. Was there any other voice in the world that could quicken her pulse as his could? She knew that there was a voice that was reserved for her. No one else heard that passion filled voice that they shared. No one else heard that groan that came from deep inside him when she touched a particularly pleasing spot. No one else heard those words he spoke to her, the words that were hers alone.

Then inside his mouth was his tongue. His tongue didn't matter much to anyone else but it certainly did to her. He undoubtedly was an explorer when it came to checking out his lover's bodies and his tongue and his hands were his chief tools for exploration. Kristin thought about how that tongue frantically entwined with her own in the midst of a passionate kiss. How it traveled down her body, stopping at her breasts where it circled tender nipples. Then how it moved even further down, teasing her inner thigh before finding the center of her love. He was imaginative, she had to give him that. Always coming up with new ways to drive her to higher plains of passion. And, of course, joining the tongue were his lips. The two worked together to excite her more and more. His lips joined the tongue on her breasts as he suckled and teased them. And then there was his kissing. Nathan could write a treatise on how to kiss. Kristin didn't know whether it was just the way the two of them joined together that made kissing so much fun or if it was something that Nathan was doing but she wasn't about to argue with success. She'd kissed plenty of men before but none of them affected her like this. It didn't matter where he kissed her at, whether it was on her own lips or a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck, where he kissed her felt like fire. A simple kiss from him could raise her pulse while a passionate kiss could make her feel like she was melting.

Kristin remembered the second kiss they had, the first one didn't count because Nathan wasn't really in it, but that second kiss, he was definitely a willing participant in that one. He had gently lowered his lips to hers for a tentative kiss but both of them felt their breathing pick up right away and the kiss deepened. Nathan brought his hands around her back to draw her close as she grasped his shoulders to help with the sudden weak feeling in her knees. All thoughts of the lobster dinner sitting on the table were drowned by the passion they both felt for each other. After long minutes of passionate, deep kissing they moved to Nathan's bunk without ever breaking the contact between them. Nathan gently lowered her down and they both started exploring each other's bodies with their hands, their tongues, their lips, anything that they could. Kristin never did figure out how he managed to get her wrap off. If Lucas' present hadn't so rudely interrupted them they both knew where that night would have ended. Afterwards, long afterwards, they'd talked about how the interruption had been a good thing. By slowing down and taking their time they both felt they'd been able to learn about each other more before taking that final commitment. Actually, Lucas had no idea how many times he had 'quenched their passion'.

Her reverie was interrupted as she realized that the lips she was watching were curling into a smile. She glanced up to see Nathan's twinkling eyes looking at her. "You're staring at me," he said.

"Mmmm, hmmm."

His smile got bigger. "Care to come over and get a close-up view?"

Kristin licked her lips in a purely sensuous gesture. She didn't say anything but rose from her chair and went over to stand next to the sofa. Nathan rolled onto his back and reached his right hand up to capture her left and put his left hand on her right hip. He drew her hand down and guided her until she was lying on top of him. With his lips almost touching hers he said, "I sure hope that Lucas stays at the mall all afternoon." Then he entwined his hands into her russet hair as their lips met in an overwhelming, passionate kiss.

The End.