Even though it exists, they say they can't give it to me on principle. Isn't there something wrong with that?
Sometimes, I think… this world is already overflowing at its maximum capacity.
Our day-to-day lives are brimming with both happiness and misfortune. Yet, because we cannot see the excess from the inside, we still feel unfulfilled.
Given that we are incapable of acknowledging neither excess nor deprivation, we might as well not exist.
Huh?
I don't get it. What are you trying to say?
"In other words: buying condiments from a hamburger cart is impossible. That's common sense."
Her fingers drummed against the plastic surface. "C'mon – I'm not convinced. So from a vendor's perspective, anything below three hundred calories isn't food? Fifteen calories don't exist in their world? Talk about twisted!"
Behind the counter was an apron-clad brunette, nervously trying to attract her customer's attention to no avail; Start was too busy frowning at the voice from her phone, telling her just go to a canteen. At her side, Yoi busied himself with his wallet. The contrast between the two was almost comical, with him being tall, quiet, and blank, and Start short, loud, and unruly. He didn't even seem aware of his surroundings. Nothing but the distinct copper scent of coins.
"430 yen." The coins were stacked high on his flat palm, held out for all to see.
"That's why I'm in a canteen queue, but she's being kinda stubborn. Yoi-chan's getting bored now."
The lady started again, "Ma'am, you should get down," only to cut herself short with a squeal.
Bang.
Finally putting the phone down, Start looked up with an irritated yes?, noticing for the first time the masked men and their dark, smoking guns.
The criminals were no match for the Minimum Holder, and not least because they were endangering a food establishment; for her, a crime of the highest offence.The fight was over before they knew it, and soon they were at Café Nowhere, the base of operations for Hamatora, Start's very own detective duo. There wasn't anywhere else she could rush into shouting "Master! Do we have any jobs?", a teenager trailing behind her, without getting any strange looks. The man in question was at the bar, working away at a mortar and pestle.
"Don't yell inside my store. I'll ban you."
"But this store is also my office. So, any jobs?"
Yoi sat himself on a barstool, already pulling out his wallet and removing the entire contents.
"You call it an office, but I'm only renting you one of my tables."
Birthday leant on the counter, that stupid grin plastered on his face. "Hey, Start. Did you manage to buy your tomato sauce?"
"That's ketchup! …And after this burger, I'm down to hand wipes."
Right on cue, Master set down the plate in front of her, and Yoi flinched; something he tended to do whenever their money was spent. She immediately yanked the bun off, tore open the red sachet and squeezed it on with far more force than was necessary – a side effect of talking to the blonde. He was always making fun of her, and why? Because she knew the sauces at this café were the worst in Yokohama? There was nothing wrong with getting her condiments elsewhere, as much as everyone wanted her to think otherwise. "So where's Koneko?"
Ratio's voice sounded from behind with a "Look where you're walking", and she could tell Yoi was pacing around the room, shuffling notes in his hands. "You could trip and whack your head, causing you to pass out."
"That's the ticket, doctor! You're not just some starving detective with only napkins to her name."
Start was hardly starving, considering food was the only thing she ever spent money on.
"Wipes!"
"Smells gross."
She abruptly stopped her scowling when she felt a hand pull something out of her pocket, and turned to see Yoi wiping his hands with her hand wipes. Birthday's smile went from annoying to downright slap-worthy.
"Now you have empty packets."
"Hey, Yoi-chan… Can I wash my hands, too?"
There was a clatter of abacus beads, and the bespectacled woman appeared out of nowhere.
"Cleanliness is godliness! If you want to be clean, you must work!"
"Koneko! Do we have a job? If possible, something that'll turn into a nice, big meal, pronto!"
"The hungry are never idle."
The bespectacled man finally spoke up. Sipping tea. Who paid for that?
"If you're here, say something sooner, Murasaki."
A/N:
I've been really excited about this story. Especially inspired by episode 8 of season 2, when Nice says "I'm calling you Hajime. Actually, Start-chan would be cool too. Something more English-y."
Thus in this world, Hajime is called Start, and Nice is Yoi, Japanese for "nice". There aren't a lot of spoilers so far, but expect more (particularly concerning Hajime's Minimum). This chapter was a like half a rewrite of episode 1, but the rest won't be - the plot will be new!
This fic is also available on AO3 and I do recommend you read it on there rather than here as there's much nicer formatting. There's even colours!
