A/N: Hey! Long time, no write. Sorry about that! School and all is getting in the way but I'm trying to get better with it. Here's a nice little one-shot I hope you enjoy about Elizabeth finally asserting herself and taking what she wants and giving nothing back like the pirate she is. The song is "What I've Done" by Linkin Park and all rights belong to them. You should really listen to this song, it's very moving in my opinion. Review?
Disclaimer: PotC belongs to Disney and I DO NOT own the song by Linkin Park.
Elizabeth knew it would be hard. How could it not be? She killed him. She saved him. And now, she had to say goodbye to him. The war had been won. The East India Trading Company defeated, never again to pursue pirates and their way of life. Her way of life.
In this farewell,
There's no blood,
There's no alibi.
She felt a terrible sense of loss when Will's life was so brutally taken, right in front of her eyes. But the pain was not nearly as much as when she had brought upon Jack's death herself. This time, however, their goodbye would be different. They would part as friends and not as enemies. She had hidden away all her feelings for him and now was not the time to let them surface.
'Cause I've drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.
It would be different. There would be no more bloodshed, despite the battle that had ended just before. No bad blood between them. No alibis, either. No claiming to have done it to save the crew, when really it was to slake her lust for him. To kill temptation. But no hard feelings anymore. She saved his life, he saved hers. They were square. So why did she ache all over as she approached her fellow pirates to say farewell?
Because this was her life. They were her people. And they had forgiven her. Even Jack had forgiven her, claiming that she did what was right. Then why did she still feel so guilty? She was the only one who hadn't forgiven herself. The guilt that plagued her day in and day out was unbearable but she would not shy away from it. She deserved it, did she not? Those hidden feelings threatened to show themselves as she approached Jack, his eyes filled with sadness. Regret.
She was regretful, too. Regretful that it didn't work out between them before and that now, it never would. It killed her to think she'd never see him again but that was a result of her poorly made choices. So many lies told… to him, to herself, to Will… It wasn't fair. And now, now that she knew the truth, she hated not being able to voice it. She loved him. She loved Jack Sparrow and he was leaving her life forever.
So let mercy come,
And wash away...
What I've Done.
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.
"Jack. It would have never worked out between us." she said nonchalantly, trying to convince herself of the same notion. His gaze lingered on her lips for a moment before he smirked, the gesture not reaching his eyes.
"Keep tellin' yourself that, Darling." he replied.
One last kiss… one last taste of freedom. She hesitantly leaned in, preparing to feel his rough lips on hers but recoiled at his opposition.
"Once was quite enough." What the hell was he saying? Once was never enough. It would never be enough. But they say he who drinks only gets thirstier. Another share of Elizabeth's soft, gentle lips and he might never let her go. He eyed her as she cracked a small smile and looked at him almost amorously. Now where did that come from?
"Thank you." For everything. I love you, Jack. I'll miss you…
Lizzie. Please don't go. Stay, luv. Ye belong here…. With me.
One last look. One last gaze into his eyes… and she turned and walked to the longboat, his eyes following her carefully as she got inside and was lowered to the ocean.
She rowed, wondering why the Pearl hadn't set sail yet. She saw Will waiting for her on the island and her heart tore. This wasn't what she wanted. Why was she punishing herself? To protect Will? To protect Jack? Why was she always doing things for others? Her needs, her desires were never fulfilled. She was always so hard on herself. Why? What had she done to deserve this unwanted ending when her life was sailing away behind her?
She knew of Will's predicament. She knew that were she unfaithful to him, he would never be freed from this terrible fate. However, that wasn't necessarily her fault. She didn't kill him. She didn't plunge that sword into his heart. She didn't make him fall in love with her. She couldn't control falling out of love with him. It was time to allow herself some happiness. Time to clean her slate. Forgive her deeds, no matter how dark they may be.
What I've done
I'll start again,
She could build a new life for herself. Forget the past, forget every damn thing of the past and just move on. Be who she was and forget all sense of propriety. Even if it hurt Will… even if it hurt herself to leave him… even if Jack didn't want her. She would not be held responsible for the world's trouble any longer. This mess of guilt would be relieved forever.
And whatever pain may come.
Today this ends,
I'm forgiving what I've done.
With a determined heart, she stopped rowing and took off her heavy armor and weaponry. She was surrendering to herself. To him.
Elizabeth jumped into the ice cold water and began swimming towards the Black Pearl. The waves jostled her, making her target even more difficult to reach. She fought against the ocean, the overpowering sea, knowing what awaited her on that marvelous ship.
She began to struggle, her breath coming out in heavy heaps and her muscles aching all over. The Pearl was still so far away… she wasn't sure if she could make it. Her eyes started to close, ever so slightly fluttering, watching the black sails unfurl in the distance.
And then she saw him standing at the helm and, although he was far, he was there. Waiting. He knew she was coming. At that point, every nerve in her body was on fire and she regained the strength she thought the waves had stolen and made her way to the Black Pearl twice as fast as before, her eyes never leaving his.
By the time she reached the ship, there was a rope waiting for her and she grabbed onto it, pulling herself up laboriously and plopping onto the deck in relief. Relief that she was out of the water. Relief that she was home. And… under Jack's appalled gaze.
He hurried over to her side and kneeled down next to her, brushing the hair out of her face.
"Lizbeth? Are ye alright?" he asked, his voice melting with concern.
She smiled up at him, her eyes creasing at the corners in delight. "Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry!" she threw her arms around him and kissed his rain-soaked face frantically, whispering incoherent words that even he couldn't make sense of.
"Lizzie-luv?" he looked at her lovingly and she broke into another beautiful smile.
He eyed her clothes disapprovingly. "You're all wet. We've got to get ye changed or you'll get sick."
She took the hand he offered and stood up, a faint giggle escaping her lips. "I don't care."
"I do." he said, his voice firm yet timid somehow. Afraid. He truly had no idea what the lass was doing here. Why had she aborted her trip to spend the day with the whelp? Unless she had changed her mind…
A million thoughts crossed his mind as he escorted her to his cabin to get her a change of clothes. Once they were inside, he began searching through his drawers until he found a tight-fitting white shirt and a small pair of breeches. Soon after she changed into them, Elizabeth emerged from his quarters into the main cabin looking absolutely ravishing. Jack was sitting at his desk, his feet propped up on the table, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation.
"Would ye mind explaining to me what you're doing here, luv?"
"Jack…" she looked at him through glistening eyes. "I couldn't leave you. Not again." She shook her head. "Never again. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
"Lizzie, if this is about forgiveness, ye don't owe me anything. You're a pirate, luv. It's what pirates do. I told ye that already. I don't want ye to stay…" he began, noticing how his voice broke. "if it's not what ye want. All I want is for ye to be happy." His gaze drifted to the floor.
"This isn't about you." she shot at him venomously. "It's not about me either. This is bigger than the both of us, Jack. Peas in a pod, right?"
He eyed her suspiciously. "What are ye saying, Elizabeth?"
"That I bloody love you!" her words echoed on the walls and she watched as Jack's eyes lit up.
He stood up cautiously, walking over to her with haste. He cupped her face in his hands and gazed deep into her eyes.
"Do ye really mean it?" his breath on her lips caused her spine to tingle.
"Yes." she whispered against his mouth, proceeding to kiss him gently.
Jack pulled back for a moment. "And the lad?"
"There are only two peas in this pod."
"So there are, Lizzie-luv." He pulled her close to him. "So there are."
Elizabeth smiled into his chest, grateful for the warmth and security she found in his arms and the love she found in his eyes. Absentmindedly, she looked out the window to that island and felt a pinch of regret for leaving Will without so much as a goodbye but he would move on, just as she would.
After all… No sacrifice, no victory.
And Elizabeth would be victorious. They would be victorious.
They were victorious.
I'm forgiving what I've done.
