My Little Pony: Villain Competition

Four villains of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic were arguing over which of them was the best villain in the show.

"We all know me and Chrysalis come on top," said Discord. "But I'm more fun to have around!"

"I'm still the fan favorite character," said Nightmare Moon.

"They liked you as Luna," said Chrysalis. "And I'm way more dark and malevolent than Discord!"

"I'm the darkest and most sinister villain in the show!" said Sombra.

"How sinister can somepony be when he has a fetish for stairs?" said Nightmare Moon. "Your cutie mark must be a staircase!"

"I don't have one," said Sombra.

"You're worst villain because you're a blank flank!" said Chrysalis.

"So are you," said Sombra.

"I'm not a pony," said Chrysalis. "I'm a changeling!"

"Well I had the best defeat," said Sombra. "I actually died in the show. And made the Family-Unfriendly Death list, which is more than can be said for Tirek and Lavan in G1."

"If you died so horribly, and were the first character to do so, that means you're worst villain," said Discord.

"At least I stayed evil until the end," said Sombra. "Unlike some."

"Maybe you're the worst villain," said Chrysalis.

"Well... Nightmare Moon doesn't even count as a villain!" said Discord. "She wasn't evil to begin with! She was just corrupted, kinda like what I did to the Mane 6!"

"Actually I am the manifestation of Luna's bitterness with dark magic, possessing her," said Nightmare Moon. "They've hinted at me being a separate entity, if nothing else then at least on the level of the Carnage and Venom symbiotes."

"If that's the case, and you and Luna really are separate entities, then you're not the same fan favorite character," said Discord.

"And if you were Luna's dark side possessing her, that means after they use the Elements on you, you're as dead as I am!" said Sombra.

"Well I'm coming back in the comics to possess somepony else, probably Celestia," said Nightmare Moon.

"I defeated Celestia singlehandedly," said Chrysalis.

"Only after feeding off Shining Armor's love," said Nightmare Moon. "I imprisoned her after escaping from the moon without needing any powerups."

"We know she knew that was going to happen, and that she intended the Mane 6 to turn you back into Luna," said Discord.

"And she singlehandedly banished you to the moon for a thousand years," said Sombra. "It took her AND Luna to imprison me. And they weren't even powerful enough to kill me, it took the Crystal Heart to do that."

"Well she imprisoned me with the Elements of Harmony!" said Nightmare Moon. "They just used their regular magic on you!"

"It took Celestia AND Luna with the Elements of Harmony to imprison me," said Discord.

"If she thought the Elements of Harmony could defeat me, she'd have had the Mane 6 take them to the Crystal Empire and use it on me when I attacked them in shadow form," said Sombra.

"If the Elements of Harmony work on you it'd probably kill you," said Discord. "Which it couldn't do to me."

"Only because I'm pure evil!" said Sombra. "You get reformed by Fluttershy! I could kill her in ten seconds flat!"

"Well... Fluttershy was always the hardest to corrupt," said Discord.

"All you do is play with your enemies," said Sombra. "I'd have killed the ponies if I had caught them before they reached the emp..."

"Aren't we forgetting that I have never officially been defeated?" said Chrysalis. "You three were banished by Celestia for a thousand years prior to our episodes. As of Keep Calm and Flutter On, Sombra is dead, Discord turns, and Nightmare Moon is either one of the two depending on the nature of Luna's transformation. I was merely sent blasting off Team Rocket style, and I have immunity to long falls as the comics showed me landing in that town and surviving such a long fall! That alone makes me best villain!"

"Some think the comics are non-canon," said Discord, "in which case you most likely fell to your death like a true Disney villain!"

"You're probably going to die in Issue 4," said Sombra.

"If not, then turn good," said Discord.

"I like my chances of flying away in a rage or getting another Team Rocket scene," said Chrysalis. "And that's not the only thing. I return in a comic!"

"So, I return in another episode!" said Discord.

"Except the episode is about reforming you, not defeating you," said Chrysalis.

"I shall return in the comics," said Nightmare Moon.

"As a minion to the arc villain, not as main antagonist like me!" said Chrysalis. "It might only be for Issue 6! And we don't even know they'll be resurrecting your evil from Tartarus! For all we know they're turning Celestia into a clone, like the Joker in Batman Beyond!"

"I'm returning in the comics as well!" said Sombra.

"Only on the covers in a puzzle to form your eyes," said Discord. "You're not returning in their canon because you're... well... dead!"

"But Nightmare Moon is coming back from the dead," said Sombra. "Why not me?"

"The comics are set between Seasons 2 and 3," said Nightmare Moon. "You haven't even escaped the ice of the arctic north by then!"

"Maybe Arc 2 will be set after The Crystal Empire," said Sombra. "Maybe the arc villain will resurrect me as well! Maybe I'll return as a ghost!"

"Anyway," said Chrysalis, "I'm the only villain who got her own musical number! Even if I did share it with Cadance. And I'm the darkest villain in the show!"

"No, I am!" said Sombra.

"You have the least screentime out of all of us!" said Nightmare Moon.

"You just sit there and do nothing!" said Discord. "Not to mention being a flat character, unlike the rest of us!"

"And you only have five lines!" said Chrysalis. "Sauron talks more than you!"

"Interesting that you mention Sauron," said Sombra, "because I was based off him. I was meant to be a dark presence to bring fear, and that's exactly what I am. My lack of dialog only makes me more malevolent and threatening. I enslaved and cursed an entire empire, I countered Shining Armor's spell and encrusted his horn with dark crystals, I set traps for Twilight that would have gained me victory were it not for Spike, whom I tried to kill, and licked my lips as I approached him!"

"So, I turned the Mane 6 against each other!" said Discord.

"So did I, and I didn't even have to corrupt them!" said Chrysalis.

"You didn't even do anything while waiting for your defeat," said Nightmare Moon. "You just stood there and waited for your imminent doom."

"So did you," said Sombra. "All of you. When Twilight was talking about the Elements of Harmony, you didn't do anything to stop them from restoring them. Discord, you made yourself an open target for the Mane 6 before they turned you to stone, and didn't even realize they weren't gray anymore! Chrysalis, you underestimated the power of the very love that made you powerful enough to defeat Celestia, and didn't try to stop them from blasting you off."

"Well wait until you see what I do in Issue 3 of the comic," said Chrysalis. "I'm a lot darker than you!"

"When you enslave an empire and make them fear you, and show ponies their worst nightmares, and create endless stairs, and try to skewer a baby dragon, let me know," said Sombra.

"Doesn't anypony else think it pathetic that Sombra is defeated by a baby dragon?" said Discord. "What a joke! Nightmare Moon and I were both defeated by six ponies wielding the Elements of Harmony, and Chrysalis was defeated by two ponies, one of which was an alicorn!"

"But I was neither killed, redeemed, or imprisoned by it!" said Chrysalis.

"Those who think the comics are non-canon would say you were killed, or else banished forever," said Discord.

"Spike got the Crystal Heart, but it was that same alicorn and an entire empire who used the Crystal Heart to destroy me," said Sombra. "Besides, Spike directly kills a King Timberwolf, and let's not forget Sauron was killed by that pathetic Gollum!"

"Ultimately I appear in the most episodes," said Discord. "And I'll probably appear in more."

"Yeah, on Celestia's side," said Nightmare Moon. "Besides, I appear in a total of eight episodes."

"Well, you're only Luna in six of them," said Discord, "and didn't you just say you were a separate entity as her dark side?"

"Now, who's more threatening in shadow form?" said Sombra. "Me or Nightmare Moon?"

"Well you can't even shapeshift into other forms," said Nightmare Moon. "I turned into a thorn and the Shadowbolts!"

"And I turned into those butterflies," said Discord.

"Queen of the changelings," said Chrysalis.

"I am the most powerful," said Sombra. "Most powerful unicorn in Equestria! Twilight Sparkle couldn't teleport out of my wall of dark crystals! I can even cast curses, which Twilight said were an old ponytail!"

"So, Lightning Dust is a pegasus as fast as Rainbow Dash," said Nightmare Moon. "Maybe even faster. Does that make her best villain? Some don't even count her as antagonist!"

"You should talk," said Chrysalis.

"I told you I'm the embodiment of her dark side!" said Nightmare Moon. "The comics prove that because I'm being resurrected to possess Celestia!"

"Or the villain's turning her into a clone," said Sombra.

"On the topic of most powerful villain, how many of you can do what I can?" said Discord. "My magic is greater than any unicorn or alicorn magic! I can take my head off or eyeballs out without receiving any damage. I can transform animals, manipulate anything, turn dirt roads to soap, make cotton candy clouds that rain chocolate milk, take away unicorn horns and pegasus wings, turn the grass into a Sonic the Hedgehog checkerboard, and make day and night come as quickly as in Digimon Tamers! How many of you can drink a glass and throw the drink away, causing it to explode?"

"You still played around with them for too long," said Sombra. "I would have killed them if I had been given more time! If I had more screentime I would have done more, and if I had done more I would have killed the Mane 6, Spike, Cadance, and Shining Armor and enslaved the crystal ponies once more! And look how powerful I was in shadow form, which was the weakened state the princesses left me in. My true form is much more powerful."

"You still lost a fight to Celestia," said Chrysalis. "After absorbing Shining Armor's love, I am most powerful villain now."

"Celestia AND Luna," said Sombra. "She couldn't have done it alone."

"Not this again," said Nightmare Moon. "I know you're going to say I'm worst villain because Celestia beat me and Chrysalis beat her! Well, remember I won our little rematch!"

"But I turned each of the Mane 6 into the opposite of who they were and their Element one by one," said Discord. "Even if they were decorrupted later. With you, they used their respective Elements to overcome every obstacle you threw at them! They had the upper hand on you each time, while I had the upper hand on them!"

"Let's not forget who fooled everypony, including Celestia, into thinking I was Cadance," said Chrysalis.

"Everypony except Twilight," said Discord. "You didn't act enough like Cadance, and that's how she knew something was up! Nice job fixing it, villain! I know everything about the Mane 6!"

"Don't you say 'Nice job fixing it villain'," said Sombra. "If you hadn't given Twilight her horn back, she could not have restored her friends with that memory spell. And if you hadn't given Fluttershy her wings back, how would they have gotten Rainbow Dash?"

"Well it seems Sombra and I are the only ones who haven't made that mistake," said Nightmare Moon. "And they say we're worst villains!"

"You don't even have a physical form for most of the two episodes!" said Chrysalis.

"That only makes me resemble Sauron and other sinister villains like Makuta Teridax and Myotismon," said Sombra. "I am the darkest and most evil villain, and technically the only one of us who is actually evil."

"We're all evil!" said Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Chrysalis at once.

"Nightmare Moon is Luna corrupted," said Sombra.

"I told you..." said Nightmare Moon.

"It was never said in the show, and only the comics suggest that," said Sombra. "Discord is more of a mischievous prankster and is just doing what comes naturally."

"A mischievous prankster who made life miserable for ponies and turned the Mane 6 against each other by making them the opposite..." began Discord.

"And Chrysalis was only doing what she needed to survive," said Sombra.

"So that automatically means I'm not evil, overlooking that I am as incapable of love as Voldemort, not to mention how malicious, cruel, and manipulative I am!" said Chrysalis. "Maybe I could have obtained love energy something similar to the Doom Tree in Sailor Moon R but prefer the evil way! Okay, maybe I can accept that we're equally dark and sinister, but I still have more screentime and lines. Tirek is a better villain than you!"

"Like I said, I've done things even you haven't," said Sombra.

"You don't even have wings!" said Nightmare Moon. "You're the only one of us who doesn't have wings!"

"Well... Discord doesn't have a horn!" said Sombra.

"I've got two horns!" said Discord. "Well, one's an antler."

"You know what I mean!" said Sombra. "He doesn't have a unicorn horn!"

"But my magic is greater than that of any unicorn!" said Discord.

"He's not even a pony!" said Sombra.

"That automatically makes me worst villain?" said Discord. "Because I'm not a pony?"

"You're not even a Dark Form!" said Nightmare Moon.

"No, but I was based off Q from Star Trek, and I can still be extremely evil and dark! I'm a fun guy to have around, some say I would be if I wasn't evil, others say I am all the time! People were disappointed with me turning good because they loved me as a villain so much! I was probably most entertaining villain by far!"

"You and Nightmare Moon aren't Knights of Cerberus, unlike me and Sombra," said Chrysalis. "Again, the two of us are the darkest villains in the show. My episode is still the fan favorite. They say it's Disney quality! While everypony was disappointed with Sombra's episode!"

"That has been a point of debate," said Sombra.

"You're worst villain in the history of villains!" said Discord.

The rat from Lady and the Tramp appeared.

"OK, scratch that, he's worst villain in the history of villains," said Discord. All four villains blasted the rat with an energy wave, reducing him to ash.

"I am the only one who actually commands an army!" said Chrysalis.

"You're also the only one who's not immortal," said Discord. "Well, besides Sombra, he doesn't count as immortal because he was frozen and in shadow form for a thousand years. But you didn't even exist a thousand years ago."

"You don't know that!" said Chrysalis. "For all you know us changelings could have existed before Equestria was made, before the Windigoes!"

"Well I'm the only one who did anything to Rainbow Dash's wings," said Discord. "Rainbow Dash's wings have had enough! But none of you could do jack to her wings!"

None of them could think of anything to say to that. Except Chrysalis.

"OK, maybe you and I tie for best villain," said Chrysalis. "I'm still darker, creepier, and have my own song and a more epic episode. And everypony knows the two of us are fan favorites."

"I'm a different kind of villain and there are still those who prefer me," said Sombra as he walked away.

"Some still think of me as the most frightening, and I am still the subject of Nightmare Night," said Nightmare Moon as she walked away.

"Maybe we should settle this in an Iron Pony Competition," said Discord.

"You're on," said Chrysalis.


AN: Issue 4 wasn't out by the time I wrote this but now I know Chrysalis survives the comics (though she gets imprisoned), and in the second arc while it is strongly hinted that the spirit of the original Nightmare Moon is resurrected, it's not Celestia she's possessing but Rarity.

Also, some of you may think of the comics as non-canon. In this fic the villains are going by "comics are canon" universe. In the "comics are non-canon" universe I'll assume Chrysalis doesn't have Team Rocket's immunity and fell to her death (unless she returns in Season 4). On June 18th I added in a line addressing that.