Westchester
Ted dropped his car into first gear as he turned left into the driveway of his house in Westchester. The journey had been unremarkable, unusually so when set against the events of his last three Saturday evenings. He parked up and removed his driving gloves, placing them in the glove compartment and shutting it with great ceremony.
His solitary passenger greeted this display with a round of slow, sarcastic applause.
'You drive like an old man,' Marshall said, extricating his gigantic frame from the passenger seat and closing the door behind him.
Ted smiled, taking a moment to note that Marshall had said that flatly, with none of his usual intonation of good cheer. He nonetheless got out of the car and joined his friend at the trunk to help him carry two crates of beer into the house.
'You know, your wife said something similar to me a few weeks back,' Ted said.
'Yeah, I'm sure she did,' Marshall replied.
He did not look at Ted as he said this, his eyes were fixed firmly on the front door of the house.
'What's got in to you today?' Ted asked.
'What do you mean?' Marshall replied.
'Well, you hardly said a word to me on the way here. That, and, you're being sarcastic when Barney and Robin aren't here. So, what's wrong Marshall?'
'In one word - Lily.'
'Oh, the whole Judge Eriksen thing?'
'Yeah, that.'
'Well, we have time, and beer, for that.'
Ted opened the front door. The hinges still squeaked slightly as he shut it behind them. It was the first time that Marshall had seen the house since the renovation had been completed and whilst the June evening light was extremely sympathetic through the patio doors, Ted was pleased with his friend's initial reactions to his work. They put the crates on the floor and stood in the centre of the living room.
'This is just brilliant Ted,' Marshall said.
'I know, well, I don't mean I know but it took a while. Well, by a while I mean…' Ted said.
'I get it Ted. Good job. It's very… brown.'
'Yeah, it is, isn't it?'
Ted reached for a bottle of beer and used a new acquisition on his key ring to open it - a bottle opener from the Farhampton Inn. He opened one for himself and one for Marshall. He then walked over to the patio doors and opened them, ushering his friend outside into the warm evening air whilst handing him his beer.
They sat on the patio, staring out at nothing in particular. It was a clear, beautiful sunny evening and from the slight incline on which the house sat, they could see as far as the Manhattan skyline. Ted's property was on an unremarkable suburban road in Westchester and the house been the only one that was out of keeping with the others on this particular road when Ted had first bought it, his middle aged neighbours were delighted that someone had finally turned up to renovate a building that had long since become an eyesore to them.
Now, he was sat outside it with the friend that had first persuaded him to keep it, his gaze drawn to the 'for sale' sign he had placed at the far corner of the garden next to a white picket fence.
'So, Barney texted me this morning to check how you're doing,' Marshall said.
'Oh, nice, how are they finding London?' Ted asked.
'He just said it's awesome, legendary, British women are hot, all the usual.'
They laughed.
'Nothing about Robin?' Ted asked.
Marshall's expression changed. He clapped his friend on the shoulder, an indulgent smile crossing his face. Ted felt for a moment that he was being examined.
'No, but Lily says she's fine,' Marshall said finally.
They sipped their beers quietly. Marshall took his phone out of his pocket.
'I also told him about your third date tomorrow,' Marshall continued.
'Awesome. What did he say about that?' Ted asked.
At that same moment, Ted's phone buzzed in his pocket. He unlocked the screen.
'" Tap that Ted" is Barney's response. Quite the romantic,' Ted said.
They laughed ruefully.
'Wait, how does he even know we're in the same place?' Marshall asked.
Ted's phone buzzed again. A photo of him and Marshall appeared sitting as they were at that very moment. They both looked around at the surrounding landscape and could see no evidence of how Barney would have been able to get that picture.
'That's weird,' Ted said.
'No, that's just Barney,' Marshall replied.
'No, it's just that I could have sworn I saw a drone with the GNB logo on it, seconds before I received that picture,' Ted said.
The conversation paused whilst they took another moment to check the horizon. There was nothing out there to suggest that Ted's theory was correct.
'Why do you think GNB have given him a month off, as some kind of reward for long service?' Marshall asked.
'I don't know, perhaps he killed someone they don't like,' Ted said.
'He caused a banking crisis in Mongolia?' Marshall said.
'Some kind of Central American arms deal?' Ted replied.
They both laughed. Ted sipped his beer.
'So, how's Lily?' he asked nervously.
Marshall paused for a moment, then gulped down the rest of his drink as if he was still at college.
'Wow,' Ted said.
'Yeah, I'm going to need that to explain how things are at the moment,' Marshall replied.
He went back inside the living room to retrieve another bottle. Ted saw a young couple walk past on the sidewalk, with a small child running ahead of them and pointing excitedly at a tree. Marshall returned with a bottle in his hand.
'Okay, yeah, Lily,' Marshall said, clearly trying to maintain some vestige of calm.
This image was somewhat spoilt when he took another large swig from his bottle.
'Things with Lily are not that great,' Marshall concluded quietly.
'What's going on?' Ted asked.
'Well, the first week after the wedding just consisted of her giving me the "you're dead to me" look. I had no idea she could maintain it for that long,' Marshall said.
'Scary. Go on,' Ted said.
'Since then we've only really vaguely talked about what we're going to do. Last Sunday, she made pancake, just for her, and we had a five minute conversation where she said that she'd decided that she'd apply to teach Kindergarten again,' Marshall said.
They both paused to sip their beer. The road in front of the house was again quiet and the only discernable background noise was the low hum of suburban traffic.
'I feel terrible Ted. Like I've broken a promise to her, like I've trodden on her dreams and what for? So we can earn more money? So I can have my dream job while she can't? Well, that's just typical isn't it? Lily having to sacrifice herself so I can be happy – that's it, that's the story of our relationship right there,' Marshall said.
'That's not true,' Ted said weakly.
'Oh yeah? What about all those spells of unemployment? That bullshit at the NRDC where I wasn't earning and she was supporting me? That time as a student? What about all that?' Marshall replied.
'Marshall, that's just wrong. Lily ran up thousands of dollars in credit card bills…'
'…how's that relevant Ted?'
'All I'm saying is that both of you have been irresponsible or insensitive at times but that doesn't mean you should blame yourself for taking the job. It was a hard decision but personally I think it was the right one,' Ted said.
'I've ended her career,' Marshall said.
'Not necessarily, and, how many people get offered a judgeship at 35?' Ted asked.
Marshall nodded. A group of pigeons took off from the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road and flew over the house.
'I just feel like Lily's the only one out of all of us who doesn't have what she wants and it's always been that way for her, hasn't it? She's always just gets on with it,' Marshall said.
'I know buddy,' Ted replied, at a loss for anything else to say.
'The really bad part of this is that we're not speaking. I mean, even during our worst arguments we always used to talk.'
'You'll work it out buddy, just tell her what you just told me and that you're sorry.'
Marshall bit his top lip and then slowly exhaled. Ted sipped at his beer quietly. The light was slowly drawing in, but they still had another half hour before they would have to go inside.
'Anyway, she was fine with me coming here tonight and staying over. She's still a bit pissed with you as well but I think a night apart will do us good,' Marshall said.
'Why is she pissed with me?' Ted asked.
'The locket Ted, come on, classic Schmosby,' Marshall said, laughing.
'Yeah, that was a pretty bad idea wasn't it?' Ted replied.
'Bad? Try insane,' Marshall concluded.
They laughed freely. After a few moments, Ted composed himself and fetched another bottle from the crate in the living room.
'So, tell me more about this new girl, what's her name?' Marshall asked when he returned, with what seemed to Ted like a knowing look.
'I've already said I'm not telling you her name yet. Not until its official,' Ted said.
'And when will that be?' Marshall replied, his eyebrows raised.
'Well, third date tomorrow so…'
Ted's phone vibrated again.
'It's from Barney "Mosby her all night long." ' he said.
'Nice. Personally, I would say a bang, a bang, a bangity bang…' Marshall said.
'Stop it,' Ted said finally.
Marshall adopted a mocking upset expression, then smiled at his friend.
'Seriously, you seem to be spending a lot of time with her,' Marshall said.
'That's because I'm completely in love with her,' Ted replied quietly.
Marshall almost choked on his sip of beer, laughing loudly for a moment when he had cleared his throat.
'This soon Ted? Seriously, two dates? Even for you that's fast. Good work unnamed mystery bassist girl,' Marshall said.
'No Marshall, this is different,' Ted replied.
Taken aback by the sincerity of how Ted spoke about her, Marshall adopted a more serious expression. Ted's had put down his drink next to him, his hands were clasped tightly in front of him, he was leaning forward slightly.
'Can I ask you something?' Ted asked.
'Of course, anything,' Marshall replied.
'When did you know Lily was the one?'
Marshall took a deep breath. He found himself playing with the cuff of his shirt and looking almost anywhere but at Ted.
'Well, it was our second Valentine's Day together. I had booked this table at Puzzi's – that expensive Italian place two blocks from Wesleyan. Remember it?' Marshall asked.
Ted nodded.
'Well, I surprised her by turning up to her room in my suit, looking sharp you know and she just looked blankly at me when I explained my plan,' Marshall continued.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, a half smile forming as he recalled the memory.
'Anyway, she told me we weren't going to do that, we were going to stay in and watch Predator cause that was the tradition. I mean, what girl does that? What girl voluntarily watches Predator for a second time?'
Ted laughed. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that his watch read 9.10pm, they had about twenty minutes of natural light left.
'Want to hear something weird?' Ted asked.
'Always,' Marshall said.
'Well, on Sunday me and "mystery bassist" were at MacLaren's and we both had a bit too much to drink, and, well, not to put too fine a point on it, we both rushed to the bathroom at the same time.'
'Wait, so you vomited at the same time?'
'We vomited at the same time.'
'Wow, that's love,' Marshall concluded.
'Isn't it?' Ted asked.
They were quiet for a minute. The sounds of traffic were dying down from Westchester and lights were starting to come on in the surrounding homes.
'"Vomit free since last week" is not that impressive Ted,' Marshall observed.
'Yeah, I guess so,' Ted replied.
'Seriously though, what's she like?'
'She's great – kind, funny, a really good people person. It's just, well, she dated this finance guy called Louis just before she met me.'
'Is that a problem?'
'No, it's just that from the sound of it he treated her terribly and yet she dated him for over a year.'
'So?' Marshall asked.
'What if that's her type? What if she just decides that she wants another Wall Street big shot?' Ted concluded.
Marshall paused for a moment, then turned to look his friend in the eyes with what he hoped was a solemn expression.
'Firstly, may I congratulate you, Ted Mosby, on being the first person since 1957 to use the phrase "big shot",' he said.
Ted laughed, Marshall offered a quick smile in response.
'Secondly, she's spending most of her free time with you at MacLaren's, she's going on a third date with you tomorrow and she admitted to vomiting at the same time as you. I mean, come on Ted,' Marshall said.
'Technically, that's three points,' Ted noted.
'Okay, I'm lawyered. Seriously though, those are good signs Ted. Really good signs and, if they're not and she ends up with another "Wall Street big shot" then we'll just get Barney to ruin his career,' Marshall said.
'Which he would do,' Ted replied.
'Absolutely,' Marshall agreed.
Ted raised his bottle. Marshall did likewise and they shared a silent toast.
'You know, there was this night back in April when I went to watch Robots vs. Wrestlers on my own,' Ted said.
'On your own? Come on, Ted, that's against the rules,' Marshall said.
'I know, but I needed something to do and you guys were all at home doing your own things so I went there on my own and I got really drunk.'
'Okay, and what happened?'
'Nothing happened, that's just it. Nothing happened. I was just there on my own, drinking, and I felt broken inside, completely broken. Not like I was never going to find the one but that I was never going to love again.'
'That's ridiculous Ted.'
'I know, Marshall, now it does seem ridiculous but back then I was certain that I was finished. I was sure that you and Lily were moving to Italy and that I was going to Chicago to escape Robin. I not only thought that I would never find love but that my best friends were out of my life.'
Marshall shook his head, as if he could not believe what he was hearing.
'And, you know, I came up here the following evening and I worked on the renovation but mainly I just thought about Victoria, Stella, Zoey and all my other pitiful efforts at love and, I couldn't think of a way out. So, I put this place on the market and I started packing,' Ted said.
'You shouldn't do this to yourself Ted, things are different now,' Marshall said.
'Yes, yes they are, but I can't go back to being that guy. Don't you see? I don't have any more first dates left in me. I'm indescribably happy that I've got this girl but I'm terrified that if I lose her I'll just go back to being that other guy – the guy who lost hope,' he concluded.
Marshall rubbed his forehead with his right hand.
'Ted, when I first met Lily, I was certain that it wasn't going to last – that she was out my league and that she'd just get bored of me and run off with the college quarterback or something,' Marshall said.
Ted remained unmoved, staring stubbornly at the lawn in front of him.
'And then, she stuck with me and that fear lessened slightly with every month that passed but, you know what, seventeen years on, I'm still a bit scared that I'm going to lose her. That doesn't go away Ted and that's part of being in love,' Marshall said.
They were both silent for a moment.
'Another thing you should know is that your girl wears driving gloves,' Marshall said.
'Really? That's awesome! Wait, how do you know that?' Ted asked.
'She picked me and Marvin up on the way to Farhampton, didn't concentrate much on the road though – you should give her some basic safety tips,' Marshall said.
'Driving is not a competition Marshall!'
'I know man, but there's no harm in using fourth gear once in a while.'
Marshall stood up. He stretched out his back and gave a loud, deliberate yawn.
'Right buddy, I think I'm gonna get an early night. Between Lily and Marvin I've not had a lot of sleep recently,' he said.
'That's fine. Thanks for tonight,' Ted replied.
'Any time.'
Marshall turned to let himself back into the house, but before he opened the patio door, he turned back to face Ted, who was still sitting down.
'You know what Ted, I think the universe owes you this one. I think this is your time,' Marshall said.
'Yeah, perhaps you're right,' Ted replied.
'Night buddy.'
'Night.'
Marshall shut the patio door behind him, leaving Ted sitting alone. Ted stood up and walked to the far corner of the garden. He gripped the 'for sale' sign in both hands and removed it from the ground, laying it flat on the grass. He was confident that he would not need it anymore.
