A/N: This is utter crack, so don't take it too seriously. It's also anti-ConYuu and I have given you fair warning, so if you like that pairing, don't read this and whine to me, because it'll merely strengthen my own convictions to meet people stupid enough to ignore warnings.

Disclaimer: I don't own KKM because if I did, Yuuri'd get his head out of his butt and marry Wolfe already. I also don't own the websites mentioned, nor do I know if some of them actually exist.

Warnings: Shounen-ai and ConYuu bashing. If this offends you, click the back-space button.


Crazy Fandom


"Hey, Shibuya, you should check out a webite called Fanfiction. net!" Yuuri Shibuya turned to his bespectacled best friend, Ken Murata, with curiosity.

"Hmmm? Fanfiction. net? That better not be another porn site, Murata... Last time you tricked me into looking at those, Wolfram found out!" Yuuri told the Great Sage, and watched as the other boy's glasses took on a mysterious, evil shine.

"No, its not, Shibuya, but I think you'll find it interesting!" Murata said cryptically, and Yuuri gulped, wondering if he should give in to his curiosity and possibly suffer for it later on, or quit while ahead and prevent being turned into crispy-fried Yuuri. Both boys were currently in Murata's room, so they had easy access to his computer.

'A little bit too easy,' Yuuri thought, before sighing and relenting to his friend. "Fine, I'll look, but it better not be anything perverted!" he told Murata, who smiled a little mockingly.

"Of course, Shibuya -- after all, we wouldn't want to make your lovely fiance angry, right?" This question caused the young Maou to flush and he turned away.

"Just hurry up and go to that site!" he tried to command, but Murata only smiled.

"Of course, Heika!" he said in a patronizing tone, before going online to Fanfiction. net and going to a certain fandom.

"Kyou Kara Maou? What is that Murata?" Yuuri asked, his face twisted in consternation, and Murata's smile widened.

"Oh, it's an anime created by Bob and Shori, and one of the reasons Bob is so rich," Murata explained, and Yuuri still looked confused.

'Bob's company creates anime? I'll have to ask Shori later. Although, knowing him, its probably a dating sim!' Yuuri thought, as his eyes are drawn to the words on the page. They looked like titles and summaries for stories, but the strange thing was that he recognized the names of the characters. 'What!? Wolfram? Conrad? Muraken? Yuuri!? What's going on?' Yuuri's eyes bulged in shock as he read the familiar names.

"What's going on, Murata?" he asked nervously, wondering how there was so much stuff online about his life in Shin Makoku. Murata kept smiling and wasn't the least bit unnerved by the strange stuff they found on Fanfiction. net.

"Just take the mouse and look at some of these fanfics, okay, Shibuya?" Murata directed, before relinquishing the mouse to Yuuri and going downstairs. Yuuri nodded and clicked one of the blue links, which had a description with both his name and Conrad's, and it also had a strange label that said ConYuu.

'ConYuu...? Hmmm, I wonder what that means?' After reading the fic, however, Yuuri clicked the back button as quickly as possible. 'What the!? Conrad passionately kissed Yuuri, who moaned a little? He was happy that that horrible, bratty Wolfram wasn't around to ruin their fun? No way!! I...I love Wolfram! Why does this say I love Conrad? He's like a brother to me!' Yuuri thought with disgust. He quickly surveyed the rest of the site to see that there were a lot more ConYuus on the page and that the YuuRams -- which he had figured out was the name of his and Wolfram's relationship -- were slowly being overwhelmed by the crazy ConYuu fans. 'Oh, no!! If Wolfram sees these, he'll think I actually love Conrad! I have to do something!!' Yuuri thought, before frantically reviewing to the writers of the ConYuu fics and telling them to stop the madness before they destroyed his relationship with the only person he loved romantically; Wolfram! Murata chose that time to come back upstairs and saw Yuuri fuming.

"Whats wrong, Shibuya?" he asked innocently, even though he knew that Yuuri was probably upset about the presumptuous fangirls.

"No wonder Wolf thinks I'm cheating! Look at all of these!" Yuuri practically shouted at Murata, making the Sage's smile widen. 'He looks like he's about to go into Maou-mode!' Murata thought, as he laughed mentally.

"Oh, Shibuya, there's even more!!" he said with psuedo alarm, which caused the other boy's eyes to widen with real alarm. 'This is too easy,' the Sage silently added, while physically taking the mouse and going to youtube and typing in Kyou Kara Maou. Yuuri's eyes widened as he took in the titles of the videos.

'Yuuri loves Conrad? Wolfram, go away? Wolfram is a whore? Who is making these horrible videos!?' He voiced the last part aloud and Murata sighed a bit.

"Oh, many fangirls around the world are, Shibuya!" The Sage replied, causing the Maou to go into shock.

"Why!?" he all but yelled at the Great Sage. Murata's fringe and glasses hid his eyes, but his evil smile gave away his emotions.

"Why? It's because you haven't confessed to Lord Von Bielefeld! The fangirls think you love Lord Weller, because you spend more time with him!" Murata was all too happy to break the news to his dense friend and hoped he would finally take it to the next level with Wolfram. Yuuri's eyes fill with sadness.

'No...Wolfram, I've really made you suffer, haven't I? I'm so sorry... I will confess as soon as I go back to Shin Makoku.' His obsidian eyes sparkled with a new determination and Murata smiled. 'Finally... God, Shibuya, you are so dense that it takes fandom to open your eyes!' But before he could even finish the thought, Yuuri grabbed his hand and began dragging him towards the outdoor pool.

"Come on, Murata! I have to go confess to Wolfram and tell Conrad that I only like him as a brother-figure before he gets any Ideas!" Yuuri said with determination, and Murata allowed himself to be tugged along.

"Yes, Heika!" And this time he really meant it.


"Yuuri, you wimp!! Why are you holding the Sage's hand?! Arghhh, you cheater!" Wolfram screeched as soon as Yuuri got back to Shin Makoku, but Yuuri didn't mind. In fact, he pulled Wolfram into his very wet embrace and kissed him very passionately.

"I love you, Wolfram Von Bielefeld, and I want to get married as soon as possible!" he shouted, and though Wolfram was shocked by the outburst, he smiled and hugged his fiance close.

"Oh, Yuuri, I love you too!" the soldier said softly into the dark material of Yuuri's chest, before Yuuri tilted up his chin to kiss him again. After they broke away from the kiss, Yuuri looked thoughtful.

"And I don't love you as anything more than a brother!" He added to Conrad, who had come to greet him, causing the other man to look surprised before smiling.

"Of course, Heika, and I wouldn't have it any other way," the brown-haired knight said, before shooting Murata a curious look which the sage ignored.

"Okay, let's get a wedding ready!!" Yuuri shouted and everyone clapped with joy.


Wolfram Von Bielefeld-Shibuya, the Prince Consort of Shin Makoku, was visiting Yuuri's world, and was currently waiting for Yuuri at Murata's house.

"Why don't you look at my computer, Your Highness?" Murata asked, causing Wolfram to look annoyed.

"Don't call me that! We have the same status!" he said, but he didn't argue when the Sage showed him how to use the 'com-pee-u-ter'.

"Why don't you look at my history? You can see some of the stuff that Shibuya looks at!" Murata said with a scary looking smile, which would normally make Wolfram leave the room as fast as possible, but his curiosity about Yuuri made him stay put.

"Okay..." he agreed hesitantly, and Murata bowed before leaving the room. 'Library. com? No thanks! FreePorn. com? Would Yuuri look at this!? Argghhh, the cheater! Huh, Fanfiction. net? That looks interesting!' he thought, as he went on the website and saw the stories about himself and his familiars. He clicks the links that Yuuri apparently looked at and tears came into his eyes, before evaporating as anger took over.

"YUURI!!"


And So They Lived Happily Ever After...Until Yuuri Messed Up Again


A/N: So, again, please don't take this seriously. It's meant to be a little funny for other YuuRam fans. If I saw a YuuRam bashing warning labelled on a fic, I would just not read it, and ConYuu fans should do the same for this piece. Also, excuse any grammatical mistakes. Thanks.

R&R: Critiques would be lovely. Flames aren't tolerated.