*~*
Welcome to the journal of Varney the Vampyre. Enter if you dare. For those
of you who don't know already, this fic is a spin off of another fic, Blood
Suckers Anonymous. Our first spin off *tear drop* I'm so proud of them.
Anyway, OOCness must be expected in this fic. If you don't understand the
mind workings of Varney, try reading Blood Suckers Anonymous. If you're
still lost after that, don't worry, even I don't understand how his mind
works.
*~*
Sunday May 18, 2003
Hello, world! Or piece of paper that used to be a tree but is now dead and mashed into pulp and bleached white. I am Sir Francis Varney. Call me Varney, or Sir Varney, or Lord and Master, or Ruler of the Universe So Hah. Just don't call me Frank. I hate that. Anyway, hello! I'm waving to you right...oops! Knocked over my ink pot...and there's only a limited amount of ink left in my feather pen so I have to ma-
Later
It's ok now. I got more ink. What was I saying? Nevermind, I can't remember. Anyway, welcome to my world! Just don't feed the ducks! I really like ducks. Don't tell anyone that. Well, ok, you can tell them. It doesn't really matter anyway. I mean, what's wrong with ducks? I like ducks. I have one living in a box in my closet right now. It's got a green head. I want a green head. I wish I had a green head. I envy you, duck! Why can't I have a green head? Or have a head that changes pink and green, like those cool pigeons in New York. I like pigeons too. But I don't have one. Only my duck, with the green head. Which I envy. Alot.
I also own a denstist chair, but that's another story. That doesn't involve ducks. Especially not ducks with green heads. They're called mallards, you know. And only the guys have green heads. The duck, not the dentist chair. Say, if male ducks are drakes, what does that make male dentist chairs?
Are there male denstist chairs? Jeez, I've never thought of that one...must ask Ruthven about this. I wonder if Ruthven wants a green head like a duck. Maybe that's why Ruthven's always so grouchy. He envies the ducks as well. And all this time I thought it was just severe male PMS.
I think Lestat has severe male PMS. Is he even a male? I'll have to ask him about this sometime. Say...is that his cell phone? I thought I sold this already...oh no...wait...that's mine. Ok. False alarm. Stealing people's cellphones and then selling them back to them is a good way to make cash. And a good way to buy a denstist chair. Wait...I have a cell phone? Wait...now I'm confused. Ok, I must not have sold it back to him for the second time yet. Ok. It's ok now. I'm good.
Well, except for the fact that my head still isn't green. Like the duck, which I envy. Alot.
I wonder if ducks get severe male PMS. No, because Lestat is not blessed with a green head. Unless he's a female duck.
I'm having a productive day today. And they all thought they could hide their secrets from me. But now I know.
Even if my head isn't green. Like my duck with the green head. Which I envy. Alot.
*~* Review please. *~*
Sunday May 18, 2003
Hello, world! Or piece of paper that used to be a tree but is now dead and mashed into pulp and bleached white. I am Sir Francis Varney. Call me Varney, or Sir Varney, or Lord and Master, or Ruler of the Universe So Hah. Just don't call me Frank. I hate that. Anyway, hello! I'm waving to you right...oops! Knocked over my ink pot...and there's only a limited amount of ink left in my feather pen so I have to ma-
Later
It's ok now. I got more ink. What was I saying? Nevermind, I can't remember. Anyway, welcome to my world! Just don't feed the ducks! I really like ducks. Don't tell anyone that. Well, ok, you can tell them. It doesn't really matter anyway. I mean, what's wrong with ducks? I like ducks. I have one living in a box in my closet right now. It's got a green head. I want a green head. I wish I had a green head. I envy you, duck! Why can't I have a green head? Or have a head that changes pink and green, like those cool pigeons in New York. I like pigeons too. But I don't have one. Only my duck, with the green head. Which I envy. Alot.
I also own a denstist chair, but that's another story. That doesn't involve ducks. Especially not ducks with green heads. They're called mallards, you know. And only the guys have green heads. The duck, not the dentist chair. Say, if male ducks are drakes, what does that make male dentist chairs?
Are there male denstist chairs? Jeez, I've never thought of that one...must ask Ruthven about this. I wonder if Ruthven wants a green head like a duck. Maybe that's why Ruthven's always so grouchy. He envies the ducks as well. And all this time I thought it was just severe male PMS.
I think Lestat has severe male PMS. Is he even a male? I'll have to ask him about this sometime. Say...is that his cell phone? I thought I sold this already...oh no...wait...that's mine. Ok. False alarm. Stealing people's cellphones and then selling them back to them is a good way to make cash. And a good way to buy a denstist chair. Wait...I have a cell phone? Wait...now I'm confused. Ok, I must not have sold it back to him for the second time yet. Ok. It's ok now. I'm good.
Well, except for the fact that my head still isn't green. Like the duck, which I envy. Alot.
I wonder if ducks get severe male PMS. No, because Lestat is not blessed with a green head. Unless he's a female duck.
I'm having a productive day today. And they all thought they could hide their secrets from me. But now I know.
Even if my head isn't green. Like my duck with the green head. Which I envy. Alot.
*~* Review please. *~*
