It was months into the apocalypse, and we were all just doing our best to survive. The dead came back to life, and just one bite meant you joined the growing hordes. We all did what we had to, in order to survive.

Eventually, a community was founded, and a man named Z dubbed himself in charge. He named the settlement Terra, and it was built inside an old abandoned town that was free of walkers. It started off small, but then grew to become one of the biggest survivor outposts.

Z was a very cocky, bordering on arrogant man, that slept with most of the women in Terra—and he wasn't ashamed of it. He had a great sense of humor, and a terrifying temper; I knew better than to piss him off. He was known for being unpredictable, but everyone in Terra respected him. He kept us safe for months.

We needed food to survive, so he enlisted the help of his friend, and my mother, Demi.

My mother was a kind, gentle soul, but was strong willed and stubborn all the same. She had grown up on her family's farm, and knew everything there was about growing crops. She started off producing vegetables in a little garden inside of Terra, and then worked her way to growing them in a greenhouse. With help from me, she also started harvesting food in a small field just outside Terra's borders. Soon, there was more than enough food for everyone. Other communities came to Terra to trade for food, and eventually we became a staple in the apocalypse for other survivors.

Everyone in the community was very good to me, and said I was kind, just like my mother. I loved them, but they treated me as if I were a child. I knew they saw me as innocent. My mother had always been very protective of me, but I wasn't her little girl anymore.

When I wasn't helping my mother with tending to the crops, I enjoyed playing with the other young adults from Terra. We would sneak out into the forest and go to a nearby lake to swim, though my mother knew full well what I was doing. In order to keep me safe, she sent out a man named Herman to keep an eye on me, and to protect me from any walkers. I know she asked that Herman keep his distance, wanting me to still enjoy myself while I played, but Herman didn't do a good job hiding, and I knew he was watching me.

One day, we ventured down to the lake. As we played and splashed in the water together, Herman looked on through the trees, keeping an eye out for any signs of danger. I knew he hated having to lurk in the shadows like a stalker, but my mother was good to him, and he probably felt like he owed her.

Unbeknownst to all of us, was that also lurking nearby in the trees was a man, clutching a baseball bat covered in barbed wire.


Negan had been wandering through the woods, looking for signs of some of his men who had fled, when he came across the playful girls. He noticed one in particular, as she laughed and splashed at her friends in the water. He couldn't take his eyes off her—she was perfect. Negan watched them for a long time as they played in the lake. When they got out, Negan realized what he was doing—watching through the trees like an absolute pervert, and he left before he was caught.

A few days later, when she was out in the woods playing with her friends, Negan arrived at Terra and demanded to speak to Z. Not feeling threatened at all by Negan's harsh demeanor, Z explained to Negan that Terra provided food to any and all communities that needed it. Negan told Z that Terra would be giving their crops to his people from now on, and Z agreed that they would make it work. That night, when she returned from playing in the forest, her mother explained that they would have to work extra hard, and plant even more food to provide for Negan and his people.

Negan continued to think about the beautiful girl that had captured his eye in the forest. When he returned to Terra, he inquired about her. Z explained that she was Demi's daughter. Negan suggested that if Z let him take her to his Sanctuary, that he wouldn't take any more food from Terra. He assured Z that no harm would come to her, and Z agreed.

"Demi won't like it," he pointed out, "But I'll handle her."

Z also warned Negan about Herman, who would be keeping a close eye on the girl.

The next day, Negan went into the forest where she was gathering flowers. The other girls that were with her started to chase one another, and sprinted off into the forest. She went to follow them into the thicket, when a voice made her turn on her heel. Negan was slowly approaching her.

"Hello," he greeted her with a kind smile. He had never felt so nervous to speak to someone. She looked like the radiant sun. She smiled at him, and tilted her head to the side, innocently.

"Hello," she replied.

"I need you to come with me," he said carefully, looking around to make sure Herman wasn't about to jump out and attack him. Her smile faded, and she pursed his lips in confusion.

Not wanting to be caught by Herman, Negan placed his hand into hers and yelled, "Come on!" He pulled her into the forest, and towards his truck that was parked nearby.

She stumbled with him, not entirely sure what was happening. She didn't even have time to react before she was getting inside the passenger side of a truck, and Negan was speeding off down the road.

Herman had become distracted, as the other girls had ran into a group of walkers. He had managed to take them all out and was heading back to where he left Demi's daughter, when he saw her disappear into the forest with a strange man. He followed them towards the road, but wasn't able to make it in time before the truck disappeared in the distance. Herman knew Demi would be furious and heartbroken when she discovered her daughter was gone.

The young woman was taken to Negan's Sanctuary. It was a large factory building, and guarding the front doors were three vicious looking rottweilers. They barked and snarled as the trucks neared, and then laid down on the ground as Negan entered his kingdom. She walked with him, looking up at the building in fascination. She wasn't sure what was happening, but Negan hadn't given her a reason to think he was going to hurt her. Still…she was afraid of the unknown.

Negan told her not to be scared. He explained that it was his home, and he needed her help to run things. He wanted her to feel at home too.

"I miss my mom," she said to him, with wide eyes.

"Give this a chance," he pleaded.

She nodded, and fought the urge to cry. She wasn't sure if she'd ever see her mother again. This man was a stranger, and she didn't understand why he wanted her to live here with him.

Demi frantically searched the woods for her daughter. After hours of looking, she returned to Terra, where Herman informed her of seeing Negan take her. Suspecting that Z has had something to do with this, she confronted him and demanded to know about Negan's extra visit. Z confessed that he traded her daughter so that they wouldn't have to give their food anymore. Demi was furious, and she told Z she wouldn't be growing anything else for him until her daughter was returned. Z told Demi, "What's done is done."


It was strange, I was actually starting to like it here inside the big factory building. Negan and his men were very kind to me, and never forced me to do anything against my will. I had my very own room, and it was huge. He would bring me anything I wanted—I felt like royalty. Negan never tried to hide the fact he liked me, but he never acted on it. He was very handsome, and the power he had over all of these people was admirable. They all loved and feared him.

He was still very possessive of me, and none of his men were allowed to go near me, talk to me, or even speak my name. He said they "weren't worthy" to have my name on their lips. It sounded crazy at first, but it made me feel powerful—just like him. Any time I would walk by, they would drop down onto their knee and bow their heads.

One day, when I was heading back to my room after dinner, I heard someone crying. Curious, I rounded the hallway, and found a man yelling at a woman. She was hunched over on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He appeared to be threatening her. He grabbed her shirt, and was in her face as he scolded her. I stomped over, fury in my veins.

"What is going on here?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest. He looked up, and I could see the light drain from his eyes.

"Sorry, ma'am. It's nothing…" He stuttered, dropping to his knee and avoiding my eyes. I glared down at him.

"Doesn't look like nothing." I looked up to where the woman was cowering by the wall; she too, was avoiding my gaze. "Did he hurt you?"

She wouldn't answer me, and instead the man spoke.

"We were just having a little chat," he said. I could hear the fear in his voice.

"Then why is she crying?" I grabbed him by the shirt and brought him to his feet. He was trembling like a leaf.

"I'm sorry! Please don't tell Negan!" he begged, his bottom lip quivering, as he pleaded with me not to tell his leader. I scowled at him, and brought his face close to mine.

"It's not Negan you have to be afraid of."

Finally, he looked into my eyes and knew I was dead serious. I let him go, and he continued to shake.

"I'm sorry," he said to the woman. She just nodded. She looked as scared as he was of me.

"You can go," I spoke to her, and then turned back to the man. "And I'll be keeping an eye on you."

He nodded vigorously, and then scurried away.

Not long after, my reputation grew to be fervent. I was just as loved as Negan—if not more, and everyone feared me. Although there was never a ceremony, I was now known as "Negan's wife".

Negan's men weren't able to make the soil work, but growing food was something I had known my whole life. It didn't take long for me to grow a small garden in the back of the Sanctuary. I ventured out into the forest surrounding the factory building and found a single pomegranate tree. It became my main priority, and I tended to it every single day, making sure it had plenty of water and that the fruit was growing well. Negan's men would accompany me out into the woods, but they always kept their distance. They were there to protect me, but they had to give me as much freedom as I wanted. Negan didn't want me to feel trapped, and I didn't.

Some of his men were extremely loyal, and although his points system worked well, I felt that his men and women who served him without question deserved incentives, and should be treated better. The next day he held a meeting, where he dubbed these people his "Saviors". He told them they had his "beautiful wife" to thank for it.

He often praised and complimented me. He told me he thought I was lovely and perfect. The more time I spent with him, the more I grew to be very fond of Negan. I would sit right next to him at the head of the table during his meetings, and he would call me to his room in the evening to share dinner.

As we grew closer, I spent less time missing my mother. I was conflicted; my mother had always treated me like a child, but Negan treated me like an equal. He let me tend to my garden without bossing me around, and said he loved the way I took charge of his men.

"Do you want to be my wife?" he asked one day, while I was sitting with him on his couch, reading a book. I looked up at him curiously, not understanding where this was coming from. It wasn't something we had really discussed.

"Of course, Negan," I answered with a furrowed brow. "Why are you asking me that?"

He smiled down at me, and brushed a strand of hair away from my face.

"Well usually a husband and wife share a bed…" he trailed off, while still playing with my hair. We had grown quite close, and his nervousness was very strange. I nodded and smiled at him.

"And do you want me to share your bed?" I asked, placing my hand over the one resting near me. I squeezed it.

"Yes," he said so softly, I almost didn't hear him.

I hesitated in answering him. I didn't know exactly what I wanted. I still missed my mother, but I liked it here, and I liked him. He stared deep into my eyes, and I nodded slowly, agreeing to consummate our marriage.

When he kissed me, it was so soft and gentle, and I relished in the feeling of his scruff against my soft skin. He led me to his bed and laid me down carefully, and promised he would be gentle. I trusted him, and as he pulled my dress up, I knew I wanted to give myself to him fully.

Still, I felt nervous—this was my first time being with a man, and I think he could tell I was scared. He continued to kiss me, and his hand squeezed mine as he pressed into me. The sensation was new, and at first it hurt, but he moved so slow and allowed me to relax, so eventually the sharp pain dissolved into a new kind of pleasure. I let out little moans and whimpers, and he cursed and groaned. There was something beautiful about the act—I didn't feel like I was being deflowered. I felt like I was finally his, and he was mine.

I felt like his queen.

I cried out in ecstasy as I experienced a satisfaction I had never known before. After he reached a similar high, he collapsed next to me, staring deep into my eyes. This man had kidnapped me from my home, and now… being with him felt like home.

I curled up into his arms and drifted off to sleep, hearing the sound of his heartbeat—a sound that would lull me to sleep every night after.

Weeks later, one of Negan's Saviors approached us during a meeting, and informed us that there was a man looking for me at the front gate. Negan demanded he be brought before us, and I was shocked to see Herman was led into the room by our guards.

"Herman!" I greeted him with a warm smile. It had been months since I had seen a face from Terra. "What are you doing here?"

"Thank goodness you're okay!" He sounded so relieved to see me. "You have to come home now! Please!"

I stared at him in confusion, and Negan spoke before I could even find my words.

"I should kill you for coming here!" he bellowed. "How dare you try and take her away from me."

"Negan, it's okay." I grabbed his arm, and hooked mine around his. The contact made him calm immediately.

"Why do you need me to come back?" I asked, leaning into my husband as I spoke.

"Your mother misses you terribly," he explained, and his words caused a lump to form in my throat at the mention of her. "All of the food is gone. The plants have rotted, and everyone is starving. Demi won't grow anything until you are returned to her."

"I'm so sorry Herman, but I can't leave my husband. My mother will be fine."

He looked from Negan to me, and shook his head in disbelief at the mention of me being Negan's wife. He had probably expected to find me locked inside of a cell, and instead he discovered I was here of my own free will.

"Please," he continued to beg. "People are starving to death. We are desperate."

I chewed my lip and looked to my husband, who was glaring at Herman with fire in his eyes. I squeezed his arm, and he looked down at me, and then nodded. It was my choice. He always gave me a choice.

"I'll think about it. Come back tomorrow, and you will have my answer." I said, turning to Herman.

"Thank you." He bowed his head, and then was escorted out of the Sanctuary.

As Herman left, I headed into the kitchen and Negan followed. When it was just the two of us, he took both my hands into his.

"You have to stay," he pleaded, gazing deep into my eyes. I let out a sigh and smiled, pulling away from him, and going over to the little fridge he kept. I opened the door and picked up a big, red pomegranate from the shelf. My fruit had grown so nicely in the last weeks. I took out a knife from a drawer and started to slice it.

"It's my decision, right?" I asked, cutting into the plump fruit. The seeds spilled out onto the counter, and I picked one up and was about to plop it into my mouth.

"If you eat those seeds, you can't leave," he said teasingly, coming around the counter. I gave him a judgemental look, and set the seed back onto the counter.

"Seriously?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes. If you eat my pomegranate, you have to stay here forever."

"Oh, so it's yours now?" I teased back, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He was smiling down at me.

"It's ours," he whispered nuzzling his nose against mine.

I smiled back at him, and then my gaze dropped. I couldn't stay, and knew I had to return to Terra. I pulled away from his grasp. I left the knife and the sliced fruit on the counter, and walked out of the kitchen without looking back at him. I knew he would be heartbroken, but I couldn't let my friends suffer. I also didn't want to leave my beloved husband. I needed time to think.

Later that night, I retired to our bedroom where I knew Negan would be waiting for me. I carried a little glass bowl in my hands as I entered, and he looked up from where he was laying in the bed.

"Hey…" he said, sitting up to greet me. I placed my fingers into the bowl and produced a single pomegranate seed. He watched as I put it into my mouth and chewed, tasting the sweet fruity juice. I swallowed and then smiled at him. It was my way of telling him I wasn't leaving him. I held the bowl out to him and he took it; a big goofy grin spread across his face.

"I still have to go," I said low, getting into bed next to him. He picked up a few seeds and placed them into his mouth while I spoke, and then froze at my words.

"I have to see my mother again, Negan," I explained.

"I know." He sounded so disappointed and so defeated. I laid my head against him and closed my eyes.

"You're always welcome here. I hope you know that. This place is yours, just as much as it's mine."

I nuzzled into him and smiled.

"I know." I had never doubted that.

"And I need you."

I drifted off to sleep, knowing I needed him too.

Herman returned the next day, and I agreed to go back to Terra with him. Negan kissed me goodbye as I headed out the front doors of the Sanctuary. His dogs bowed their heads as I walked up to them, and I pet each one before leaving. I had become quite fond of them, and they of me. I was walking out of the factory a different person, and I wondered if I had changed Negan as much as he had changed me.

We returned to Terra, and my mother came running out to greet me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, and I could hear her crying as she pressed her face into my hair.

"I missed you so much!" she wailed, not letting me go. I hugged her back, and then wiggled away from her grasp.

"Mother, what happened to the food?" I asked, looking around at what was left of Terra. The people looked sickly, and weak. Our gardens were dead, and they looked neglected and rotted.

"I couldn't go on without you. Z let that bad man take you away, and I refused to help him until he returned you to me."

I looked over to the side where Z was watching our little reunion. He grinned wide at me, and I turned back to my mother. I hadn't known about Z's agreement to let Negan take me, but that didn't matter now.

"I will help you grow some food, but I have to return to Negan soon," I confessed. I watched as her loving expression turned sour.

"No! Absolutely not!"

"But mother, he's not a bad man. And I really care about him." I pleaded with her to listen to me, but she was furious.

"It's stockholm syndrome. You don't really care about him."

I knew I wouldn't be able to explain how I felt about Negan to my mother. She would never be able to understand it. She had thought I was being held prisoner. She couldn't know about the kindness he showed me, and the power I had there.

I spent weeks in Terra, and my mother and I made significant progress growing food. Z's people were no longer starving, and my mother made it very clear that she would never let me out of her sight again. It made me glad to see her so happy, but I missed Negan terribly. I missed hearing the sound of his heartbeat as we laid together in bed, and the feeling of his scratchy beard against my soft skin when he would kiss me. I missed the independence I had at the Sanctuary, and being treated like an adult.

So when Negan showed up at Terra, after weeks of being apart, I felt my heart flutter. I was about to sprint to him when my mother stepped into my path, blocking me from him.

"You need to leave," she said coldly. Negan narrowed his eyes at my mother.

"Let me see my wife," he growled. His men raised their guns.

"No!" I shouted, trying to get in front of my mother. "Negan, don't!"

Negan approached my mother while gripping his baseball bat, and I sensed things were going to turn very ugly, very fast. Suddenly, Z's voice grabbed everyone's attention.

"Perhaps we can come up with a solution that will work out for everyone."

We all turned to look at him. There really didn't appear to be a resolution to this mess.

"What do you want?" he asked me. I looked from Negan to my mother and frowned.

"I don't know. I love them both, and I can't be without either," I whispered. My mother rolled her eyes at my words, but Negan looked sympathetic to what I was saying. He understood my love for her, but she would never understand my love for him.

"I suggest sharing her." Z walked in between my mother and Negan. I looked at him bewildered at his words. "She can spend a few days in Terra, and then a few days at the Sanctuary."

Negan and my mother both scoffed and seemed irritated with the idea, but after a few moments, I nodded at Z's words.

"It could work," I said to them both, hoping they would be willing to give it a chance. "Then it's settled." Z turned to Negan. "You can come back in a few days for her."

The agreement seemed bizarre, but I was willing to at least try it.

Negan walked past Z and my mother, who was still blocking me from going to him. He pulled me into his arms, and kissed me right in front of both of them.

"See you soon, my love," he whispered against my lips. I smiled and kissed him one last time, before he let me go and turned to leave.

As I watched him exit Terra, I hoped that the next few days would go fast. I could help fix the food in Terra, and my mother knew I was okay.

I loved the idea of living both lives.

I could be the innocent child of Terra, and the queen of the Sanctuary.

I wouldn't have to be apart from my mother…

Or the man who had stolen my heart.