The Doctor adjusted his fez and mussed his "girly" hair in the process. Honestly, it was just too long! What kind of regeneration was this? He missed his beautiful brown locks of the 10th, and the short copped hair of 9. This was just getting ridiculous. Biting his lip, the doctor tried thinking of ways to improve such a dire situation as hair malfunction. Suddenly…
"Rory! Rory, you cut your own hair, right?" he came up to the nurse, who was too busy flirting with Amy to care too much about such a petty problem as the Doctor's hair. "Rory, please do me the honor of having your crafty fingers fix such a terrible haircut! Caress my scalp with your wondrous hand!" Rory sighed while Amy raised her brow, smirking.
"Is this a haircut or a plea to have your head raped?" she asked. The Doctor frowned.
"Should've fired you when I had the chance, Pond. Rory please cut my hair!"
"Doctor… I don't want to…" Rory groaned. "Won't that cause a time paradox? " 11 sulked forward.
"You two are easily my worst companions to date. You can't do anything, or listen for that matter! Have I ever said anything about haircuts causing gaps and tears in time?"
"Just last week…"
"Over a meal of fish fingers and custard…" The Doctor glowered.
"RULE ONE, THE DOCTOR LIES! NOW CUT THE HAIR, THAT'S A DEMAND, LET'S GO!"
After much fighting and hair tousling, the TARDIS was now an ersatz barber shop, Rory held scissors and an electric shaver while the Doctor sat in a chair. The Doctor held up a picture of a male in a blue pinstripe suit, with his arm around a blonde girl in a blue jacket.
"Just like this! Styled and everything. It shall look amazing with the fez."
"Uh… you want to dye your hair blonde?" Mr. Pond frowned at the picture.
"The bloke in the picture, Rory! Not the female… Stop looking at her!" Amy glanced over at the picture.
"She's pretty… and the guy is handsome!" Mrs. Pond smiled "Such beautiful chocolate brown eyes."
"Stop looking at him!" Rory and the Doctor said at the same time, Amy rolled her eyes and walked away, and Rory began with the cut, paying close attention to the picture.
"Uh, I don't think I could do the sideburns…" he mumbled, 11 looked up.
"Just wing it then! The important part is the styling of it, see the fifties throwback on it? How much gel that took to get it right, you'd have no idea. But man, I pulled off that look wonderfully. Kissed at least 5 birds in the haircut. Let's see, that was Martha, Rose, Jack once kissed me but not with that regeneration… and he's not a bird, well, not fully. Donna kissed me once, but more to just shock my body, boy did it…"
"Hold on… that man in the picture is you? Geez… what happened to you? I'm so sorry, Doctor." The Doctor raised an eyebrow.
"And just what's wrong with me now, Rory? Am I not as aesthetically pleasing to you, Rory? You sure know how to charm a woman, Rory! NO WONDER IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET AMY, RORY." The timelord huffed. "River loves me just the way I am…"
After a painful two hours of snipping and whining (mostly on Rory's part, that damn bloke), the doctor had a… interesting new look.
"It's so… nice." River Song said, frowning.
"It… frames your face… a bit." Amy muttered.
"I MESSED IT UP COMPLETELY!" Rory started bawling into his hands. "I'm going to die!" 11 was still looking at himself in the mirror.
"Rory, shave it off. I want a look like this." He took out a photo of a dark haired man in a leather jacket. "At least with this haircut, I wouldn't look stupid." He hissed. For the haircut Rory gave the Doctor looked nothing like the hair of his tenth regeneration. I cannot accurately describe the monstrosity Rory brought about poor 11's head; there are no words for it. When Rory was given a new task to fulfill, the poor human only cried harder.
