Though it's a day filled with rain in District 12, I wonder and debate whether hunting is an option today. After a huge rumble of thunder I decide it is best I just stay inside. I probably wouldn't have made it out in the woods anyway. Honestly I haven't made it to the woods since the war. I stare out the window of my over-sized house, looking over at the other homes. Only three are occupied. It makes sense though. District 12 only produced three victors after all. I shake that word from my mind- victors. I hate to even think about myself as one. It brings on too many awful memories that are associated with that word. I sigh. Greasy Sae is upstairs making my bed- as if I actually sleep in it. With the amount of tossing and turning I usually give up sleeping. What does sleep even feel like anymore? Peeta comes in from the kitchen, crosses the mantel and plops down into an armchair next to the couch. There's an accumulation of boxes and letters in front of him.

"Katniss, don't you think it's time you read these?" I scowl.

"I want to be left alone, there's a phone if some-" I begin my argument but am quickly cut off.

"You don't answer the phone. Ever." Greasy Sae laughs slightly as she stands by the bottom of the stairs now.

"I'll be back over with dinner, Peeta make sure you get her to do something today. Sleeping isn't an option." And with that she is gone. Peeta and I are left alone.

"You really should read some of these." Peeta starts to sort through the letters, disregarding those that are marked with a capitol seal. He knows me well enough to know I do not want an interview. I sit down on the floor and start on a stack of my own. One particularly catches my attention.

"Why write me when we live two doors away from each other?" The question is harshly said.

"Well if you opened your mail more often, you would know those are from when I was in the capitol. It was part of my therapy. After all you're the one that has more answers than anyone when it comes to my questions. You can rip them up if you want. Burn them." He sounds like he doesn't want me to read them almost. All the more reason to do so.

I take the pile of his letters and shove them under the cushions of the couch. I will read them. I find a few more interesting letters. One from Delly, and a few from my mother, one is even from Effie. The rest are ones I couldn't bare to open. I don't want reminders of the war, and I don't want compliments of how "heroic" I am. The past two years of my life have been fully broadcasted to the entire country. I can't be selfish in thinking it was just my life because it was Peeta's too. I look over at him and he looks up at me. It's been way too silent.

He starts "Katniss, I have so many questions and.."

I cut him off immediately, but in the nicest way possible. "I can't talk about them. I know you want answers and I know I'm the only one who has the honest answers, but I can't. I just can't right now okay?" I breathe deeply after my speech.

The phone rings just in time. Peeta jumps up to get it and quite frankly I don't blame him. The silence would have been too difficult to deal with. He must be on the phone with Doctor A. "She's doing okay today" Delay. "Well the mail is finally being read." Delay. "I know, I know. I'll pass the message along." End of conversation. He returns with a message. "Doctor A. says you're making progress. That's something to be proud of. He's going to start sending you letters, as well as packages. You'll need to open them."

Silence overtakes the air.

He continues "He can work wonders you know."

I look into his blue eyes. They aren't as cloudy anymore, and the rage seems to have subsided. I start to think about how far he'd come. When he was first rescued, I couldn't wait to see him. I ran to him and he tried to strangle me. And now we can sit in the same room, feet away and nothing happens. I guess he really can work wonders. I'm so focused on his eyes and lost in thought. Finally I hear him say

"I'll be over for dinner. I have some orders to fill" and just like that he's gone. I immediately pull out the letters from the cushions. I start with the oldest first.

Katniss,

I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now. The doctor says we should talk though. I have questions, you have answers. It'll help both of us he says.

-Peeta

Katniss,

You're the only one that knows the truth. The whole truth. I need to know it. I just want to be me again. I hope all is well with you.

-Peeta

Katniss,

I hope everything is okay with you. The doctor says you aren't answering the phone. You aren't answering to letters either. Once again I say I hope everything is okay. We need each other right now. Well I need you.

-Peeta

Katniss,

I've made remarkable progress and will be returning to District 12 soon enough. Maybe then we could talk? I need to know the answers.

-Peeta

Okay. They aren't the love letters I thought they would be- After all that would just complicate things more than they already are.

Greasy Sae comes through the door around dusk. I realize I fell asleep in a bed of letters. She sets the stew on the stove. I give her my thanks and she leaves. I drag myself to the kitchen and am overwhelmed by the lovely scent of bread. Peeta must have stopped during the day to bring me some. I eat dinner and am off to bed. The nightmares consume me. Tonight they are of Prim. I see her die probably ten times. My screams fill the air.