"Hey Michonne, wait up" I started running towards Michonne, feeling my legs go weak. What the hell is wrong with me? I kept running towards her and didn't stop despite how I was feeling. My head was hurting, my legs felt weak, and I felt nauseous. If I didn't know any better I'd think I was getting sick. How could I be sick? Unless I caught a zombie-flu, I laughed at the thought.
"Hey yourself. You ok? You don't look so good."
Damn, she can always tell when something is wrong. Michonne had become a valued member of the group ever since she showed up at the prison. She was always looking out for everyone, especially Carl. Carl and Michonne had become close, very close. He always told Michonne when something was wrong or asked for her opinion on certain things. She had become more than just a member of the group, she had become family too.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I wanted to ask you what you thought of Deanna?"
Michonne raised her eyebrow at me, not believing me when I said I was fine. She kept staring at me for a moment, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. After a few moments, she finally realized I had asked her a question.
"I think Deanna is good, this place is good. She asked me questions and I gave her answers."
"I don't like not having my gun on me."
The thought of my gun being locked up in the armory made me angry. How dare she take away my gun, I need to be able to protect my kids and everyone else. There must be a way to get my gun back, I need to talk her into letting me have it.
"I still have my sword on me, don't worry."
She smiled after she mentioned her sword, trying to reassure me that we're still safe. Despite her efforts, I still don't feel safe. I don't think this place is safe even if we are surrounded by walls. There is always a way for people to get in or for walkers to get in. Damn I wish I had my gun on me.
"We better head back to the house and check up on everyone else."
Michonne nodded her head in agreement with me. I started walking back to the houses with her in silence. Even though we were given two houses, everyone wanted to stay in one. The thought of being separated when we've been together for months didn't feel right. Everyone agreed to sleep in the living room for a while. Abraham had told everyone how staying together would make it easier to leave Alexandria in case of an emergency. It was sad but it was true, no one trusted Alexandria yet and it would take a while before anyone could. After everything the group has been through we're all lucky to be alive, well, some of us are lucky to be alive. I cringed as I thought of Beth being shot by Dawn. The scene kept replaying in my head ever since it happened.
"I wonder if they have any peanut butter here" Michonne questioned out loud, interrupting my sad thoughts about Beth.
I looked at her a laughed. Peanut butter. What a random thing to be thinking about. Michonne always said the right things. She must have known I was deep in thought by my silence.
"Peanut butter" I said with a chuckle.
I started walking up the stairs to the house and felt my right leg almost give out. I cursed silently, but not silently enough for Michonne not to hear me. She caught up to me as I reached the top of the stairs, standing directly in front of me. She placed her hand over the door knob, stopping me from going in. I knew she was going to say something to me, but I wasn't sure what. She wasn't easy to read.
"I think this place is going to be good for us" She paused and gave me a reassuring look. "I know this place is going to be good for us. I know it."
I nodded at her in appreciation for her positivity. She took her hand off the door knob and I knew she had told me what she wanted to. I paused for a moment before going inside, thinking about what she had just said to me. I hope this place is good for all of us.
I kissed Judith on the head and placed her in the playpen Deanna had given me. I felt grateful Judith had an actual bed to sleep in tonight, rather than the cold ground she had become accustom to. Sleeping on something other than the ground would be an adjustment for all of us, myself included. I walked over to my pillow and blanket on the living room floor, losing my balance and falling over. Shit.
"What the hell!" Screamed whoever I had fallen on.
"Sorry Maggie, I guess I tripped."
She shook her head at me and turned back over towards Glenn. Even though it was dark I still felt everyone's eyes on me. Now everyone was awake due to Maggie's loud scream. I rubbed my throbbing head, continuing to walk towards my pillow and blanket. I finally got down on the ground, resting my head on the pillow. My head continued to throb and my legs still felt weak. I pulled the blanket up towards my face, hoping sleep would help me feel better.
"Rick, what the hell is going on with you?" A voice whispered.
I turned my head to the side, realizing I was sleeping right next to Michonne. I felt a pang of relief run through me as I realized this. In case I needed a weapon in the middle of the night I could grab Michonne's.
"Nothing. Just feeling off tonight" I whispered back.
"Off? What do you mean off?" She whispered back.
What did I mean by off? I didn't even know. All I knew was that I felt off.
"I think everything is catching up with me. We've all been through a lot the last few months" I sighed.
"Get some sleep, Grimes" She whispered and turned over.
We had all been through a lot in the past few months. From not having water, food, or shelter some nights to losing part of our group. I started thinking about Beth again. She always knew how to make Judith stop crying when she was fussy. I closed my eyes, my endless thoughts still running through my mind. The memories and the realization of what happened during the past few months just wouldn't go away. Maybe this was my way of processing everything, I'm sure that's why I've been feeling sick today. I shrugged off the thought and dozed off.
"Dad, wake up. It's 12 in the afternoon" Carl said as he started shaking me awake.
I squinted from the bright sun light which was peeping through the windows. I looked up at Carl who was chewing something in his mouth as he shook me awake. I looked around the room seeing Daryl and Carol eating, Rosita and Abraham snuggled up to each other in the corner, and Michonne holding Judith. Where is everyone else? I rubbed my eyes and started to sit up, immediately realizing it was a mistake. The throbbing of my head immediately started and a pang of nausea ran through my body. I quickly realized the nausea was turning into something more. I quickly stood up, losing my balance which was regained by Carl grabbing onto my arm. He gave me a confused look as he held onto my arm. I ran to the bathroom and stayed there for a while. I suddenly heard a knock at the door.
"Hey dad, you ok?" Carl asked through the door.
I didn't even know how to respond to that question. I was just violently ill for the past ten minutes and I now felt like someone had hit me in the head. Not wanting to worry Carl, I lied.
"Yeah, I'm fine" I said as I opened the door.
Carl looked me up and down not believing a word I had just said. He shook his head and started walking back towards the living room. I slowly followed behind him, rubbing my hand across my head. Feeling Michonne's gaze burn through me like a hot fire, I glanced over at her and weakly smiled.
"Come sit down" She said as she looked at the seat next to her.
I walked towards her and sat down as she suggested. She looked concerned as she held Judith. Judith was tugging on her hair and drooling all over her top, which didn't even seem to bother Michonne. I stuck my hand out towards Judith, watching her immediately grab onto my fingers. She grabbed my fingers and started moving my hand up and down, using my hand as her new toy. I looked up at Michonne, smiling at her. I really appreciate the way Michonne takes care of Judith like she's her own daughter. The thought of Judith having Michonne as a mother figure made me smile. My heart always hurt when I thought about her growing up without a mother.
"You want something to eat?" Michonne asked, once again interrupting my thoughts.
"Yeah, I'll get up a grab a plate. I didn't realize I slept until 12 in the afternoon."
I quickly stood up, forgetting the dizziness which plagued me and how weak my legs had been feeling. The moment I stood up everything started to go black. I heard someone yell my name as I fell to the ground, unconscious and dead to the world.
