I got terribly bored one day. So I wrote this! I just bought this movie, and I haven't watched it yet, but I've watched this scene from it, oh, probably at least a hundred times, NO JOKE. So, here.
Prime Minister David had just gotten home. He slid his jacket and tie off as he listened to the radio. A slightly high pitched male voice on the radio announced, while the beginning chords of the song were playing, "It's almost enough to make you feel patriotic. So here's one for our arse-kicking Prime Minister. I think he'll enjoy this. A golden oldie for a golden oldie."
The song started as the slender man threw his jacket and tie on a chair. He stood at the window, staring at it. 'A song for me?' he thought. 'Am I supposed to enjoy this? Or scoff at it?'
It was a peppy song—"Jump (For My Love)" by the Pointer Sisters—and as questions ran through the mind of the leader of Britain, he found himself giving into the beat.
Before he knew it, his royal butt was shaking to the beat, arms raising up in the air to start what he knew would be an embarrassing moment to remember.
He walked backwards through the hallway, and down the first few steps of the winding stairwell. When the song commanded him to "JUMP! For my love," he threw his arms up into the air, abandoning all thought.
Stiffening his body, he walked goofily down the steps to the beat—'I can't believe I'm doing this,' he thought—then reached the intersecting hallways.
Wondering how he even had enough coordination to do this, the noble Englishman danced fluidly across a hallway: sideways, no less. He reached, ironically enough, the ballroom, and danced to the right, then to the left, legs bent at the knees and arms looking like he was trying to throw a lasso.
He began dancing backwards again, in a quite embarrassing, caterpillar arms, bobble head manner. The song reached the bridge—"I'll take you down, I'll take you down"—and a white-sleeved arm lifted up, as the Prime Minister danced in place, pointing around the room, and lip syncing intensely.
Just as he began to sing the next verse ("Where no one's ever gone before"), he saw his assistants, Alexandra and Abbey, standing professionally, with vicious smirks on their faces.
His hand dropped and he clapped his hands to make the music stop.
"Yeaah…" he said awkwardly, "um… Alli, Abbey, I've been thinking. Could we move the Japanese ambassador to four o'clock?"
The two girls traded amused glances, and Alli replied, "Certainly, sir."
"Terrific, thanks so much," he said, and started to leave hurriedly.
Abbey said, "You, sir, are going nowhere." She clapped her hands, and the song came back on, at the beginning of the second verse.
Abbey and Alli nodded at each other, then began to sing, "You told… me. I'm the only woman.. for.. you" dancing like the white girls they were towards him.
They stopped just before, and Alli sang, "Then make a move before you try and go much farther, oh baaaaby!" As she sang, Abbey did an awful come-hither-as-I-move-away-from-you dance step.
David stared at them in astonishment, and, when he didn't budge from his spot, Alli and Abbey walked in beat over to him, singing together, "You are the one, you are the ooone, and heaven waits here at my door, and if you want more, if you want more…"
"More…" Abbey sang.
"Mooooooore," Alli finished.
"Then jump!" they resumed together, and Abbey, the taller of the two, walked over to David, and grabbed him by the waist, and forced him to jump in the air, while Hayley sang, "for my love… jump in! Feel my touch."
The poor man decided he had no method of escape, and started shaking his hips, dancing in between the girls.
All together, they sang the song to each other, which would have been quite a ridiculous sight if anyone had walked in. During the slight instrumental interlude, David pulled the girls to either side of him, and, in a rather barmy move on his part, began bumping his hips to theirs.
They joined in, giggling all along. When the interlude finished, and the Pointer Sisters came back in with a rousing, "Jump! Jump in! Jump, if you wanna taste… my kisses in the night…" Ally and Abbey leaned in and kissed David's cheeks. He mocked looking shocked, then laughed, grabbing their hands and lifting them up in the air as they continued dancing.
Ally grinned, and put her hands on David's hips, nodding at him to do the same to Abbey, who lead them in a snake around the large room as the song ended.
When it did, the male voice came back on saying, "Prime Minister, we hope you've enjoyed that golden oldie."
The three dancers were torn up with laughter as the next song—"I Should Have Known Better" by the Beatles—began playing. Abbey clapped, and the music stopped abruptly.
David coughed, and straightened himself back up. "Well, then, was there something you needed to tell me?"
The assistants shook their heads, and Ally said, "You just don't like people knowing you're a nutter, do you?"
"Not particularly, no."
"Well, we do," Abbey whispered conspiratorially. David gave her a meaningful glare, and she put on an innocent face. "Anyway," she continued, "we were just, um, stopping by. To see if you needed… anything."
"Oh yes?" he asked, knowing quite well the girls fancied him, and that they'd stop by on occasion for nothing more than to see him. "Well, no, I'm quite well currently. Just that, uh, you know, the Japanese ambassador."
"You were serious about that?" the girls asked at the same time, then laughed.
"Erm, yes," he lied.
They stared at him, and he said, "Ok, no."
"Aw, little Prime Minister got embarrassed. Does he need to go run to his mummy?" Ally teased.
Abbey continued, "Oh, I think he might. Would you like me to ring mum, sir?"
"No, that's quite unnecessary," he said stiffly. "If you have no further agenda, you are dismissed."
Ally and Abbey pouted, and Ally quickly thought, "Well, actually, if you're not at all busy—"
"—which we expect you aren't, considering—"
"—would you be interested in billiards?"
David considered it for a moment, then said, "Oh, why not?"
The girls grinned excitedly, moved to either side of their boss, and linked arms with him. He shook his head and walked his assistants to the basement, where more silliness was sure to follow.
