Our Complicated Relationship

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender! He belongs to Nickelodeon (or whoever wrote it, I can't remember the name)! Enjoy!

PAIRING: Katara x Jet

SUMMARY: (Two-shot) (During Lake Laogai) "From the moment I found out you had been using me…I hated you. But now, when I see you hurt and smiling at me…I don't know what to think."

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Katara…
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I had never thought…not in a million years…that I would see you of all people in Ba-Sing-Se. I remember myself putting up an Appa Wanted sign when you called my name. When you called my name, breaking through my thoughts of worry, thoughts of where Appa could be…I felt delusional. That voice…a voice I hadn't heard for over a month and a half…it made my heart stop.

My brain shouted at me not to turn around and to ignore it…telling me that it wasn't true, that you couldn't be here. But my heart…it screamed at me to turn around, to look at you. When I did, my mind groaned in exasperation as my heart gave a pathetic whimper. There you were, in all of your glory. With that same smug smirk that made my knees weak, made my cheeks blush and my heart racing. You hadn't changed as I slowly and agonizingly took in your appearance. The same tan-nut brown skin that almost matched my own. Your hair was a little longer, yet it remained in the same hairstyle. Your coconut brown hair gently fell just above your chocolate brown eyes. Those eyes that always made me shift, wondering if my hair was okay and that I didn't look as foolish as I felt.

You were taller, I could see as you shifted, favoring a leg. You had the same get-up…a freedom fighter. Your swords were strapped to your back. Your voice, semi-deep with a tender note laced with every word, echoed amongst us,

"Katara, I think I can help you find Appa."

Your voice broke the spell that was cast around me. Blinking, a fury of anger overtook me without me even knowing it. Flashbacks of memories flied through my eyes; they reminded me of those touching, caring moments when we were together, just as we were starting our journey. The most painful memory of all was when I found out about your treachery…of your skillful manipulation of using Aang and me for your own uses…your own goals. It had hurt so much…and seeing you again made me realize that it still hurt.

To my dismay, I could feel my cheeks burning as I glared at you. Disgusted at my reaction of seeing you, I water-bended the water from the fountain behind me. You shouted at me, claiming that you changed as I pelted you with two thick streams of water. My brain proclaimed to me to not fall for your trap, your deceit. I followed you to the alleyway where my water took you. As you began to get up from the puddles of water, I gathered a good-measured amount of water into my hands and fired icicles at you.

"Tell that to some other girl, Jet." I remember angrily and coldly telling you.

Every time I let loose of those icicles, you just seem to smash them away until you were backed against the wall. You told me, desperately even, that you had changed. To prove your point, you dropped your swords before me, giving me faith and a moment of justice. I stared at the swords in confusion – I stared at you with searching eyes. You gave me your infamous and enduring smirk, a hand went behind your back to grasp something. My mind frantically told me that it was a trick, that you were going to pull out a weapon. I reacted on instinct, shooting out three more icicles at you, even with my heart shouting at me to stop and give you a chance.

Soon, Sokka, Aang, and Toph appeared behind me. When Sokka asked me what was wrong, I had told him with spite dripping with every word,

"Jet's back."

I was furious that when you showed the Lost Appa sign that Sokka and Aang were willing to listen to you, despite them knowing what you had done in the past. I would have at least thought that Sokka would be more cautious, with him and you not getting along even back than. I felt as if I had been betrayed as I watched you leave with Aang and Sokka.

When we reached the warehouse you spoke of, my mind danced joyously at the prospect that you could be lying. My heart gave a sad sigh as my mouth overtook my senses,

"If this is a trap – !" I started out angrily; you looked at me with an angered expression. My foot involuntarily took a step back when I noticed a desperate look in your eyes.

"Why won't you trust me?!"

Biting my lip angrily, I inwardly raved. Why? WHY? Well for starters, you took advantage of my feelings and used me as a weapon against a peaceful Fire Nation village! You lied to me! You easily made me fall in love with you! You manipulated me! And you ask me WHY?!

When I came back to the land of the living, I saw that you were all ready walking away from me. Crossing my arms, I settled with a,

"Gee, I wonder?"

I angrily huffed away in contempt.

But unfortunately, my face burned embarrassingly when Toph asked nonchalantly,

"Was he…your boyfriend or something?"

My heart jumped at that concept. Boy…friend? BOY FRIEND?! I never thought of it like that, did I? N-no! We weren't ever THAT close…well, not as close as I wanted us to be…I shook my head of such thoughts. I remembered Toph's question; as I looked at her, I found her staring at me with a sly expression. My cheeks grew a brighter red as I looked away from her blind gaze; my voice, begrudgingly, sounded high pitched.

"WHAT?! Of course not, how could you think that?!"

I inwardly wondered to myself as I snootily looked anywhere else other than Toph. Why was I overreacting over such a simple question? I mean, what Jet and I had over maybe a month or two ago was never really…involved…so why was I so…protective over the matter?

My heart fluttered in fright as her sly smile grew into a full-fledged teasing smirk. She sang out annoyingly,

"I can tell you're ly-iing!"

I stomped away from her, trying to block out her chuckles.

As we were walking down the street and away from the warehouse, I inwardly thought to myself with you walking close by. I had never felt so awkward and frustrated as I was right now. Ever since that incident during the beginning of our Avatar journey, we NEVER crossed paths and thus…I had never really given any thought to you. Truthfully, I forced you into the deepest and darkest part of my mind, stored for any other embarrassing crushes that would and WILL end in failure (I'm quite sure). I was so preoccupied with Aang, getting stronger, and making sure that we find Appa while at the same time trying to get to the Earth King. All the excitement with meeting (or should it be unfortunately?) Azula, Mei, and Ty Lee; meeting Toph, and so many other crazy adventures…I guess I never really thought about my love life…or lack there of (how embarrassing).

I sneakily glanced at you from the corner of my eye, my lips thinned into a grim line. I never felt so torn…not even when I found out that mother was murdered by the Fire Nation. My mind and heart were at war again…rationality against fantasy. One side of me wanted nothing more than to make you a permanent ice sculpture and drop you into the deepest and coldest ocean while laughing maniacally on top of an overlooking glacier – watching you as you sunk to the deepest depths. But another side of me wanted to run away from you crying. I wanted to be back home at the South Pole where Gran-Gran was, curl up into her warm embrace, and wish that I had never experienced such a feeling as I did for you. I wanted to wish to never have felt your touch, felt your arm fit so nicely around my waist, felt the way the end of the leaf on your straw that you always hold in your mouth tickle the back of my neck. I never wished to have experienced something as this. It haunted me of how foolishly I felt…of how foolishly I loved you…and probably still do.

But that's the thing (I nearly publicly pulled at my hair in frustration)! I can't tell anymore if my feelings for you are dormant! This can't be right! You betrayed me! You used me! And yet…I still can't tell if I can move on! Gah, damn it!

"Jet!"

We all stopped and turned around. When I saw two familiarly dressed freedom fighters not too far away, I felt that familiar and uncontrollable anger surge through me again. I rounded on you relentlessly,

"I thought you said that you didn't have the gang anymore?"

"I don't! I don't know what she's talking about!"

I watched as Smellerbee hugged you briefly before stepping away. She looked at you with confused orbs,

"It's glad to see you! How did you get away from the Dai Li?"

I imagined that my eyeballs enlarged into the size of tennis balls as shock went through me,

"THE DAI LI!?" Why did I feel so much like a controlling girlfriend? You looked at me with an equally confusing look,

"I don't know what they're talking about! I've been living peacefully within the city. Why would the Dai Li want me?"

Smellerbee looked almost frantic and alarmed,

"We saw you taken away by them about two weeks ago."

"You're lying!"

I watched as Toph crouched in between them with a palm faced flat on the rocky surface of the cement. After a few moments of waiting, her smooth and childish features scrunched up in concentration – puzzlement swept across her face.

"It…it doesn't make any sense." Toph finally whispered in astonishment. I watched as she looked up, "I can't tell a difference between their reactions – they're both telling the truth."

I looked at Sokka, my face bewildered when my brain finally grasped the concept,

"That's impossible!"

Was it…?

I watched as Sokka stared at the duo for a moment before saying to all of us,

"No it isn't! Toph can't tell the difference because they both think they're telling the truth!" My mind and heart both went into overdrive in his next statement; I could tell that everyone, even you, had the same reaction,

"Jet's been brainwashed!"

The first question that came to my mind was how Sokka could come up with that conclusion so quickly until I remembered…we were talking about you after all. It would make sense that you, even within the great "Impenetrable City" could think and believe that firebenders were within the walls. Only you would raise a racket that would cause you to be captured by the Dai Lee. I watched as you looked at the ground before looking everywhere around us like a scared rabbit, cornered by hungry foxes.

"No, it can't be! That's crazy!" You shifted around, looking at us briefly before exclaiming wildly, "Get away from me!"

Even with my mixed feelings towards you…I knew something was wrong…and you couldn't suffer for it – not even finally realizing that you have even forgotten your own last two remaining freedom fighters. I knew that the old Jet, the old you, would NEVER forget about his fellow companions. For someone to be able to do that to you…I couldn't help but to feel pity.

We surrounded you and took you to our abode, all of us standing between you and the only exit there was: the door. As I stared at you, Sokka announced around us, blurting out what we all had on our mind,

"There has to be a way to get him to remember." He added with a suggestive motion of moving his eyebrows up and down cheekily, "Maybe Katara could kiss him? That ought to bring some "memories" back."

I couldn't stop myself. I glared at my brother and snapped at him,

"Maybe you should kiss him, Sokka?"

He held his hands up as if saying "peace, baby sister, peace",

"It was just a suggestion."

"Yeah," Aang finally quipped up, "a bad one."

I resisted raising an eyebrow when catching a slightly pissed off look in the normally caring and cheery boy; what twisted his arrow? I mentally shrugged my shoulders and put my mind back to the matter at hand.

"Oh! I got it!" Sokka happily gushed in triumph before diving underneath the covers to bring out a simple straw with a leaf still on the tip. He shoved it into your mouth and stared at you contemplatively.

"I don't think it's working." You gritted out, un-amused.

"What could trigger a memory? There has to be something…"

It was like a light bulb was lit over Smellerbee's head,

"The Fire Nation! Think about what they did to your family!"

"Close your eyes," I demanded (although I was still emotionally at war about you having your memories back), "Picture it."

You seem to be in pain as you did as I told you. After a few moments, sweat began to bead across your forehead before you gasped out in agony,

"NO! Its…its too painful."

I…I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the fact I knew how it was to lose a parent? How it felt that you heart was torn? Maybe I knew how deep it felt to lose someone as beloved as your mother? I don't remember what made me, but I felt compelled to aid you, to help you ease the pain. So I walked towards you. Pulling some water from my water sling, I made sure to cover my hands as I pressed my palms against your temples. Soon, your body relaxed and the sweat that decorated your forehead disappeared. You were calm…I felt repulsed and satisfied at the same time when realizing I was the one that made you this way.

After a moment, you stood up, causing me to step away from you. You whispered,

"Lake Laogai – it's underneath the city!"

So we went to Lake Laogai. It was shocking to see what was happening underneath everyone's noses (literally). But when we met with Long Feng and the Dai Li, we began to fight. It was like déjà vu all over again as I watched you, from the corner of my eye, sweep a man from underneath his feet easily with the end of your hook. It reminded me of the day in which you saved Sokka, Aang, and me when we stumbled upon a Fire Nation camp. It felt like the old days…it felt nice…comfortable. That is until you and Aang ran after Long Feng as he retreated, leaving his precious Dai Li behind like a true coward.

For some reason…a feeling of foreboding entered my stomach, traveling up until it reached my heart – it gave a painful squeeze. That same dread and panic rose up my windpipe, almost choking me. What was wrong with me?

When taking down the Dai Li, we ran after you two. The site before me made me come to realizations that I knew all along…but had childishly hidden from. When seeing you crippled, lying on the floor unmoving with only the weak rise of your chest signaling that you were still breathing, I ran to your side. I immediately took out my water, covered my hands with it, and put them on your chest, scanning your body.

The problems and conflicts my fingers met made me want to cry. You had severe internal injuries, multiple cracked and fractured ribs…it would take a miracle for you to get through this and still be able to fight afterwards.

Was it even possible?

Despite the logic my brain was spewing me, I shunted it out and instead, for the first time today, listened to my heart. Heal him, it echoed, heal him. But what was there to heal? I wasn't advanced in the healing arts as much as the martial waterbending arts. Maybe if I had paid attention to Master Pakku's mocking tone and had taken up healing studies, I would have been able to save him within a jiffy.

But I didn't.

The only thing I could do was to numb the aching, tearing and crushing feeling I imagined he was going through. I watched with satisfaction as his scrunched up face slowly relaxed into a small, relief-filled smile. I managed to roughly, after one healing class at the Northern Water Tribe, mend his cracked and fractured ribs.

But it was all I can do.

I never felt so helpless.

I had trained relentlessly at the North Pole in hopes of getting stronger. I went through rigorous training, from sunrise to sundown, I had practiced. I made it my mission to help Aang save the world from Fire Lord Ozai, hoping that in the process, I can be the great waterbender that I had always wanted to be…the waterbender my mother was.

Yet I never took into consideration that healing lessons would be of more use to me than any waterbending move.

You let out an agonized breath as you slowly opened your eyes. My heart stopped when you instantly looked at me…your smile…it changed. Even though it was still annoyingly charming, the confident smirk that you always wore before planning a skirmish or going into battle…it had gained a tender, caring, and dare I say it…loving?...touch.

I couldn't understand it; with that one smile and gentle stare…you made me all the more confused. From the moment I had found out you had been using me…I hated you. But now, when I see you hurt and smiling at me…I don't know what to think.

You must have seen my frustration and guilt, for you whispered as loudly as you could, as confident as you could,

"Don't worry, Katara…I'll be fine. Go, get Appa."

My heart demanded me to say no and continue to heal, to do as much as I can even though I have all ready done it. I don't know how to mend internal wounds…I never thought I would need to. Even my mind seemed hesitant to comply with your probably last demand. My heart screamed at my mind, telling it that there won't ever be a last demand when it came to you.

Instead, I numbly closed my eyes, clenching them tight as I got up and walked away. I wanted so much to cry. Even though I resented you for all you have put me through, this emotional pain that I am feeling…I felt scared. You were Jet; just like how Sokka was Sokka and Aang was Aang…even Zuko being Zuko…it seemed impossible to think that you wouldn't overcome this. But still, I have faith in you…no matter how fragile it is…at least I still believe in you enough to think that you will survive…that the internal bleeding was not as bad as I found it out to be.

Maybe it would stop before it got out of hand? Maybe there was a medic in Ba-Sing-Se that could help you?

Maybe I'm just getting my hopes up…I don't care anymore.

As we walked through the door on the opposite side, my heart clenched when hearing Smellerbee's sobs and sniffles. Toph's quivered voice that echoed around us made me bite my lip in order to control myself.

"He's lying."

No, I had thought fiercely as we met fresh air, right beside the lake. No. You may have been a traitor, you may have been a manipulating jerk…but you never lied. You dodged the truth, twisting words around…but you never truly and fully flat-out lied…at least not to me. You tricked me, deceived me…but never lied…not straight to my face as far as I can remember.

So I can't help but to hope, even as I stare at the passing ocean as Appa, our reunited bison, took us to the Earth King, that you would be as you said…just fine.

I did all I could to help you…but it wasn't enough.

The tears finally built within my eyes, but they never went over the brim…I couldn't bring myself to.

It seems, Jet, that it is up to you if you can survive such a crushing blow.

If you can withstand that, remember your true self as a freedom fighter…then maybe I can try to forgive you.

After all…you're Jet…the first boy I had fallen for…my first love.

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(sighs happily) I LOVE Jetara! WOOHOO! All the way! You can't imagine the disappointment I felt when I couldn't find ANY Jet x Katara fics. Well, I feel that this couple…(grins devilishly) needs to be justified. GO JETARA! I don't know why I'm so attracted to this couple now. I mean, yeah, I liked Jet in the episode when they first met, but with Lake Laogai and the return of Jet, I have fallen INCREDULOUSLY in LOVE with him :D

But do you know what I hate the most about that episode? It's the fact that they left us hanging as to what was happening to Jet. I am strictly and FINALLY in denial that Jet has died. Have they told us that he's dead? Nooooooo. Did they show any indication that he died? Did they show him closing his eyes and his chest unmoving? Noooooooo. (If you come up with a counter example for that, I'll need to re-watch that episode more carefully) So yeah, I believe that Jet is alive, just internally injured. I mean, Smellerbee was crying, but that could be from worry and concern alone, even fear. It wasn't grief. Geez. Do I have any followers in this theory? (If so, raise your hand up high Jetara followers!)

Please read and review, tell me what you think! NO FLAMES! (I don't mind if you tell me if you don't really like it, but at the same time, why read something you know you're gonna hate? It makes no sense to me...)

Plus, I thought I would be a rebel and do something rare.

-Miss Artemis

P.S. – Critique will be warmly accepted! Stay tune for part two: Jet's P.O.V!