Miss.Ecofreak: welcome ladies and gentlemen and not so gentle men, to the newest, third, most random (since this time it's not based on any serious story) episode of Dork! (Dork 2 and 3 is under Games-Jak and Daxter. I've just moved this fic because it was getting a bit too much Naruto. Since this fanfic was originally written for the Jak and Daxter-section, Jak will sometimes comment this.

Zakura: Is that a bad thing? Naruto rules!

Miss.Ecofreak: anyway! IMPORTANT NOTE: this fic contains spoilers for Jak2, Jak3, maybe Jak and Daxter, Star Wars (random spoilers everyone knows), Naruto (it spoils episodes not even I've seen but have read and heard about), Dork2, Dork3 and Dork Period.

Zakura: this is Dork Period.

Miss.Ecofreak: not to mention: I do not own any character of Jak and Daxter, Jak2, Jak3, Naruto, Star wars or any one else who appears in this fic except Well (partly, my cousin made up his name and I made up his looks), Ehm, Civilian Guy, Cornelius and maybe some other random people who pops out, and yes, I do own Zakura the killer rabbit, her two cages (the indoor and outdoor cage), her transporting cage, her dog leach (rabbit leaches are so short so I bought a dog leach instead), her harness, her water bottle, her stuffed rabbit, my bed…

Zakura: oh just start the fic already!

This has happened:

Jak and Daxter TPL, the one sentence-version.

Daxter falls into a hole of dark eco and turns into an ottsel so Jak has to find a way to change him back but fails and kills the only guy who can change Daxter back and so they find a strange machine and Dork 2 can begin.

Dork 2 Reckless driving, the very short version.

Jak and Daxter crash-lands in Haven City and Jak is captured by the Krimson Guards.

Daxter escapes and goes to find some pizza.

Meanwhile Baron Praxis does experiments on Jak using Dark eco to create a perfect dark warrior. When nothing happens Praxis decides to kill Jak after lunch.

While Praxis and his drunken commander Errol is eating, Daxter appears (two years passed though) with pizza.

He saves Jak and they go of to get revenge on Baron Praxis.

On the way they meet a lot of strange characters, like Errol's little brother Cornelius, a kid, Kor, a crazy leprechaun called Well…ehm…eh who thinks he's a flut-flut-bird and lots of others.

In a mission to destroy some imperial cruiser-looking ships, the Millenium Falcon from Star Wars appears, saving them before it gets shot down by Jak who thinks Star Wars has nothing to do in a Jak and Daxter-fic.

Kor turns out to be evil though, he kidnaps the kid, who is the heir of Haven City's founder and kills Praxis.

Jak tries to save Praxis, just long enough to figure out where he's hidden the precursor stone, a very important artefact, as soon as he's figured that out, he drops a gigantic bullet on Praxis killing him.

Jak, Daxter and Well…ehm…eh sneaks into the metalhead nest where Kor is and meets a very annoying director.

They kill the director, befriend metal Kor, and finds out the kid is actually Jak who went back to the past where he could grow up safe from harm.

Little Jak is sent to the past and everyone in Haven City lives happily for about two weeks or so.

Dork 3 nothing special, the very short version.

Jak is thrown out into the wasteland and left to die, Well, Daxter and Pecker the moncaw follows him to avoid being given a stupid t-shirt by Praxis' daughter Ashelin.

In the wasteland they find a city called Spargus, and meets up with Damas, who is trying to find his missing son, and Well's hyperactive cousin Ehm…Wait! Think I've got it! No forgot it who is trying to find more candy.

They also meet a very indifferent monk, Seem.

Soon they also uncover an evil plan to destroy the planet, in which Errol, who was thought to be dead, plays a key role.

As they find their way back to Haven City, Torn is especially glad to see them, and Well and Daxter figures out Jak is homophobic (something Torn is not happy with).

The evil Vefrs (Veger: MY NAME IS VEGER!) however is not happy. He fears Jak's dark side, which is a side-effect from the dark eco-experimentation Jak went through in Dork2.

Jak gets a light side too, and Daxter has an argument with the precursors.

Luke Skywalker wants to kill Jak for shooting him down, he also annoys Jak with the fact that Luke knows his own father, Jak never knew his father.

Soon he figures out Damas is his father though, but Damas dies soon after.

Jak goes to stop Veger from saving the world since that is HIS job, along with Well, Daxter and Ehm, he goes into the centre of the planet to ask the precursors for help.

The precursor wants to thank Jak for being so good at saving the world, and gives him the opportunity to be changed into a precursor.

Veger complains, HE wants to be a precursor instead, but he changes his mind when he figures out the precursors are nothing but 3 little ottsels like Daxter, but it was too late.

Jak kills Cyber Errol, Ehm, Well and Daxter's girlfriend Tess are transformed into ottsels, Veger gets a new "friend" in Kleiver, Kleiver takes a sidekick, Jak and Cornelius opens a caps-shop and burns down Ashelin's t-shirt stand, everyone marries someone and lives happily for like… say… four days?

(Keira: HEY! I WAS IN THIS FIC TOO! WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION ME? AAAAARGH! I FEEL LEFT OUT!)

Miss.Ecofreak: now we can start

CHAPTER 1

EHM'S WIFE, THE CHOCOLATE CAKE (EXTREMELY SHORT CHAPTER BUT THAT WAS ONLY BECAUSE I MADE UP SOMETHING EVEN MORE INSANE AND HAD TO MAKE IT A CHAPTER OF ITS OWN)

It was a beautiful sunny day in Haven City.

The sun was shining Baron Praxis was lying underneath a large bullet and looked pretty much dead and rotten, Errol was lying dead in the desert next to the ruins of the dark maker terraformer and life was good.

"Watch out! There's a giant lizard chasing me!"

Almost.

A green ottsel was running through the city at full speed before Jak (who just happened to pass by wearing a caps with the text "Man I hate those annoying leprechaun-ottsels") grabbed it by the tail.

"What's the matter little really annoying leprechaun-look-alike?" he asked. "There are no lizards here"

"Yes there are! They ate my wife!" Ehm…Wait! Think I've got it! No forgot it said.

"Your wife the chocolate cake?" Jak asked.

"Yup. She was delicious" Ehm said.

"The chocolate cake you ate last night while we were watching the incredibles at Damas' house?" Jak asked (Damas is dead but they are still watching movies at his place).

"The same" Ehm said.

Jak threw his father's nuisance at the sea and went into the Naughty Ottsel to see his own nuisance.

As he walked in he found a caps-stand with Cornelius behind the counter (yup, inside the bar).

The youngest and only alive Elfin-brother was wearing a caps saying "Caps! Buy your caps here! Hurry up while they're still hot".

"Hi Jak! Come to get another caps?" he asked.

"No. I thought you placed the stand in Spargus" Jak said.
"We're expanding! I decided to make one in here too" Cornelius said.
"Then who's selling caps in the old stand while you're here?" Jak asked.

"I am" Said Civilian Guy as he came out from behind the counter of the Naughty Ottsel with a bottle of beer in his hand. "I am just taking a break right now".

"I thought you worked in an ice cream stand out in the desert" Jak said.
"That's only a part-time job. I needed another one now that I'm a dad" Civilian Guy said.

"You got a kid? But you only married last week!" Jak said.

"Yup, his name is Random Pet" said Civilian Guy and showed Jak a little puppy.

Jak decided to ignore the idiots in the bar and walked into Daxter's living room.

There he saw his two best friends in the entire world eating computer chips and watching the game.

"Hi Dax. Hi Jinx" Jak said.
"Shut up Jak. We're watching a couple of dopes playing hide and seek" Jinx whispered.

"Behind the chair you moron! He's behind the chair!" Daxter yelled at the TV. "Did you leave your eyes at home? Everyone can see he's behind the chair! HICK!"

"Daxter! Have you been stealing beer from the counter again?" Tess yelled from the kitchen.

"What do you care woman? HICK! It's my bar I can do whatever I want!" Daxter yelled back. "Including taking a free drink HICK!"

"It's not for free, you bought it at the market" Tess commented.

"Yeah, but I used Jak's money" Daxter said before he was attacked by Dark Jak.

"Man this is an interesting program" Jinx said, completely ignoring Jak and Daxter who were busy trying to kill each other.

Miss.Ecofreak: … my back pack, my shoes, my imaginary pets, my hair, my cds, a DVD of the Lion king…

Zakura: this might take some time, please review and tell Miss.Ecofreak to shut up.

Miss.Ecofreak: … (pant) my crayons, my pen case and everything in it, my dreams (sure hope so), my…