Hello all readers that seemed to have found interest in this is here to start a new short story, but first- Here's the story behind the story.

I have been watching Danny Phantom for years upon years, and really, my favorite character from that story is quite possibly Ember. For all of you who need a memory jogging, she has blue flaming hair and mind controls people with music. She has one song that they have used as her personal theme song, 'Remember', and it is so sad. As I was watching an episode with her in it, inspiration struck. I spent a good I'd say...two or so hours, just drawing a sad scene (I'll post it up on deviant but don't expect anything special. I'm a writer, not a drawer person.) which showed the Ember we all know and love, standing over her dead human body after having just lit herself on fire. As I was drawing, my mind was spinning with a story of pre ghost Ember and what led to her troubled soul being stuck on the earth after her death. This will be a short fanfic over the life of Ember, predeath. As you can imagine, the ending might not be all that pretty, and for that matter, it won't.

If you are a sucker for punishment, or can see artistry in sadness, then stick around for the life of Ember. At least what is left of it.

Enjoy!

P.s= I recommend listening to Remember (you can easily find it on Youtube) while reading this story. You don't necessarily have to have it on repeat, but personally, this is the song that inspired this entire story, so it might be worth it to set the mood. If you don't, I'll never know however :D

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"Shut up bitch!"

"Ryan I-"

"I said shut up!"

He slammed his foot on the gas petal, driving off so fast the passenger door closed on its own, leaving me standing on the sidewalk dumbfounded at what had just happened. I could feel my eyes start to tingle and burn as I fought the urge to cry. He was the only person in the world that could make me feel so upset and worthless in three seconds flat. I wasn't sure if that should make me impressed or disgusted, but deciding to not face the event just yet, I gave a sigh and walked towards my apartment.

Why were things so complicated with him suddenly? We had been together for almost a full two years now...he was always so sweet to me before. I had always felt like a princess around him, he made me feel special...normal even. My parents had died when I was a kid, and after going from foster home to foster home for five years, I ran away. I'm sure they looked for me at first out of duty and nothing more, but after a few more years went by, I never heard from the agency again. I enrolled into high school, got a job and an apartment, and that was my lives tale. Each day was just wake up, go through the day to just...survive. At least until I met Ryan.

He was the football quarterback on the JV squad, and I was the lonely sophomore reject. I don't even know what made him see me, but either way, we quickly became inseparable. In time, I fell for him, and I fell hard. By the end of our sophomore year, we were officially dating, and come Jr. year, people were so used to the idea it was like we were no longer two people anymore. Ryan and Ember. If you were talking about one, you were talking about the other synonymously. We were always there for eachother,and life was like a dream for me. I was no longer the orphan girl with no past or future, I was Ember Mclain for the first time. Envy of every girl in the school, music master, and most importantly, I felt loved.

Then senior year everything just started to change.

Total fall apart.

He was put captain of the varsity squad, and therefore was always busy practicing, and I was no longer his girlfriend. I was like property instead. Luggage even. I simply belonged to him like any other object he owned. He was so hard on me for everything I did. If I disagreed with him, I used to be able to tell him and he would listen to me- now though, he would be furious at me and tell me that everyone in the school respected and worshiped him. He said that he should be my god and that I should worship the ground he walked on. If anyone revered him, it should be his girlfriend he said.

Things continued to get worse. He never wanted to hang out anymore. He just wanted to be at my place or his, and each time he would try to force himself on me, which always ended in violence. I just wasn't ready yet, and each time I'd try to explain that to him, he would just get furious and rant about how he didn't even understand why he was still with me. Sometimes he would just shove me away and walk out, others he would start hitting me and yelling that everything was my fault.

But he was right you know?

If I were just stronger, if I just respected him more...he would love me. If I weren't so worthless, I wouldn't be where I am now. My parents wouldn't have ever died, and now that they are gone, I am just as pathetic. A small part of me wants to say all his words are just lies...but they're not. It's the truth. I'm just a sad, useless girl with nothing going for her.

If I loose Ryan, I loose everything I have. I loose the only thing that had ever made me happy. The only thing that ever made me feel alive.

I felt a tear tolling down my face, and I couldn't help but sigh in sudden frustration. Why did I even try to tell Ryan that I was concerned about us? He would never leave me for anything- he had always been there for me before, and who was I to tell him I was worried...that I was doubting him? No wonder he was so mad at me all the time. I chocked back a sob, hot tears trailing down my face freely. Great. Now I'd have mascara running down my face like a melodramatic clown.

Wiping my face, I stepped up towards the apartment stairwell, walking up slowly, trying to control my crying as I moved up. Opening the door, I walked in, closing and locking the door behind me. I swept my hands over my face, leaning against the door as I gave a deep sigh.

Keep it together Ember. It's just another stupid little fight. He'll be fine.

We'll be fine..

I moved to the couch and collapsed, curling up into a ball and turning on the T.V- I really hated quiet. It made me think to much, and my thoughts got dark so fast nowadays. School was so hard this year- life was just hard this year. It was my senior year officially, my job was calling me up like crazy because they knew I had no life, Ryan was so obsessive and protective, my land lord was always on my back because sometimes Ryan would get too loud or I'd cry or something. Either way, a girl can only wear so much makeup really and I guess neighbors had been talking. The landlord was just concerned about me...but she just didn't get it.

Ryan loved me- he did. I didn't need to leave him, I didn't want to leave him. He was just really stressed out right now because it was the heart of football season and the school was expecting so much from him. He would stop. He really didn't mean to hurt me, I know he didn't. Everyone just couldn't see things the way I did. I wasn't in any real danger. Ryan was a good guy, he just got...carried away sometimes. That was all.

Besides, it was just a couple of bruises. Who would break up with a guy over that? I loved him, I couldn't just break up with him. I couldn't see life without him. He was the person that pulled me out of the darkness that I was living in after foster care, and he had been with me ever since. There was no way I could leave him...

I loved him.

The loud buzz of my cell phone made me jump slightly, pulling my mind away from itself as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, picking it up ritually, "Ember here."

"Ember we need you at the store now. Daryl says that you'll get off at ten."

I gaped, sitting up from the couch, immediately annoyed, "What? No- you can't just call me in like this! I haven't had a single day off in over a week and a half- now that I have one, I'm not coming in."

There was shuffling and random noises, and I tapped my foot as if they would be able to see my act of disapproval. Seriously, how could they keep doing this to me? I was getting paid and all sure, but it was like I was the little convenience store slave. An emergency call in for a convenience store? What a joke! I swear they did it just to annoy me sometimes.

The phone finally stopped shifting, and I could only imagine who was on the phone now.

"Hey Ember?"

It was Daryl, the douche bag manager that ran the place like he was some form of king. I couldn't really say I liked the guy all that much. He was creepy, rude, and an overall jerk.

"What Daryl." I replied, my tone dripping with acid. I was usually sweet, but lately I was simply getting tired of all this shit. I didn't have time for this stupid job sometimes with how demanding Ryan always was, but rent had to get paid somehow.

"Yeah I know you get called in a lot and all, and I understand why you are frustrated..." he paused, and his tone suddenly shifted to his normal douche bag self, "but get your ass in here! Now Ember, or you might as take your ass to the unemployment agency!"

"...Fine!" I hung up the phone, having to restrain myself from screaming and throwing my phone as hard as I could into the wall. If I could afford a new phone, I probably would.

iiii

I walked in the store, muttering curses under my breath as I moved past Daryl.

"Thanks for showing up Ember. Thought I'd have to drag out the old applications again."

I rolled my eyes, feeling a glare of disapproval from Sasha, perhaps one of the few people in life that I would consider to be like a family member. When I started working here, Sasha seemed to just know that I was alone and lost in various ways, and she really took care of me. She was like my fairy godmother, or just my mother in general. I don't remember my mother at all, but I imagine if I did have one, she would be a lot like Sasha. Sassy, middle aged, and a hint of insanity mixed into her.

She walked across the store, shaking her head at Daryl, most likely mouthing curses at him. The idea slightly cheered me up as I clocked in, grabbing a hideous red apron and tying it around myself.

"Ember let me tell you, you have got to stop taking Daryl's crap. That man will get what's coming to him. Hopefully right in his ass for that matter."

I nodded, smirking slightly, "Well whatever it is, lets hope its sharp too."

She gave a light laugh, her face expression turning more grim, "But I am being serious here Ember. You are way better than this. In fact, you are way better than a lot of things in your life."

"Me? Better?" I scoffed, wondering if I should blow her off or listen out of respect. We usually didn't talk about anything serious, but she never was one to back down if she felt like there was something to be said.

She nodded firmly, "Ember, don't tell me you think you were born to stock green bean cans for the rest of your life."

I shrugged my shoulders, staring down at the ground. Maybe not stocking vegetables...but destined for greatness? No. Most certainly not. I was a runaway orphan that was living in a crappy apartment, fighting to keep the only good thing in her life, and all but bowing down to my boss. I was thankful that I made it as far as I did actually. Life was just handed out to some people, everything just worked out for them. Nothing against them, but they could never understand someone like me. I had to fight for everything I had. Each day was a battle in and of itself. Life wasn't about succeeding. Life was about surviving- and if I happened to find happiness in the end, that was the ultimate prize.

"And you are most certainly better than whatever boy you have convinced yourself is so wonderful." She paused, crossing her arms as she gave me a hard stare, "Your crazy eye makeup may hide it from everyone else but you can't fool me."

I felt my stomach twist in guilt and shame, forcing myself to walk away. It was either walk away or start sobbing. I couldn't hide anything from Sasha, and I didn't want to dare open the can of emotions that would burst if I kept prodding at it. I just...I felt so hurt. I felt hurt that Ryan was hurting me, I was hurt that school...life...was so hard, I was hurt that my boss was using me like this...I was hurt that I wasn't stopping any of it.

That not even I cared enough about myself to do anything. I just wasn't worth it, not even to myself. That hurt the most of all.

"I know Sasha- but this guy is my only shot at happiness." I mumbled, headed to the register and cleaning the counter.

I saw Sasha sigh sadly, then she hung up her apron and clocked out. She never was one to work late at night. She gave a wave goodbye as she walked out, and I gave her a nod and attempted a smile. I'm quite certain it came out as a teary eyed plea, but at least I tried.

iiiiii

I opened my apartment door, sighing and setting my bag down on the counter. So much for getting out at ten. They call me in and let me out two hours late. Go figure.

"Where've you been you little tramp?" A sharp voice cut in from the couch.

I instantly wanted to scream, cry, beg for forgiveness. Ryan.

I turned the light on, seeing Ryan sitting on the couch not even looking at me.

"Ryan- I got called into work again."

He turned around, glaring with a fire in his eyes, "And you didn't think to text or call- anything?"

I shook my head, finding that I was unable to move. Dammit I was so stupid! Why didn't I tell him? I know he gets jealous so easily- I should have done something! It's my fault he was so furious!

"I'm sorry Ryan, I just-"

"Do you know what you put me through- what I thought you were doing?" He shot up, standing above the couch and glaring just as heatedly. He moved over towards me "I thought you were with another man!" His hands were instantly at my neck, squeezing hard, but I could still breathe luckily.

Tears ran down my face in fear and a whole whirlwind of emotions rushed through my head. "You belong to ME bitch! And don't you forget it!"

He was shouting inches from my face, and I found my entire body trembling. He shoved me down to the ground, knocking over a chair as I fell hard. I scooted back from him, my voice shaking as I tried to calm his anger. I hadn't seen him this furious in months.

"Ryan I...I'd n-never cheat on you!" I squeaked

He moved forward, swinging down and punching my stomach. My eyes widened in pain but I bit back the cry that wanted to escape my lips. I couldn't risk the landlord calling the cops. I didn't want Ryan to go to jail. Ryan loved me.

"You stupid ungrateful little whore!" He shouted, kicking my back harshly.

I could feel the pain burning throughout my whole spine, and soon my whole body.

"Please stop!" I sobbed, curling up into a ball as Ryan swung again. He continued hitting me, over and over again. Each time I would try to not shout out or cry, but it just hurt so bad! He was so strong and I was so weak. I could never escape him.

"Tell me who you love!"

"You!" I screamed, feeling a hit to my thigh that felt like a bomb had exploded in my own body

"What's my name Ember? Say my name!"

"Ryan!"

"Say it again!"

"Ryan! I love you Ryan! I am yours, I belong only to you! I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, wrapping my arms around one of his legs and curling around him as I continued to cry.

"It's all my fault..." I mumbled, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me. Please. Forgive me. I love you. I don't deserve you. I'm so sorry"

His attacks stopped, though I just kept on crying, mumbling out apologies. He was too good for me. I was so inconsiderate of him. All he ever did was love me, and I was too selfish to even text him. I deserved all of this.

I could hear Ryan sigh, and felt him leaning down. He held his arms open, knelling down "Come to me Ember."

I nodded, tears pouring down my face as I moved onto him like a lost puppy. I crawled into his lap, feeling him move an arm behind my back and the other underneath my legs, cradling me.

"I don't like it when I have to treat you like that, but if I don't, you'll never learn. But I forgive you Ember. I love you too much to let this get in between us."

"I'm so sorry. Thank you." I whispered, my head so clouded and dazed I was surprised I was able to speak. Ryan was talking to me. Ryan was holding me.

...I was so happy.

"Will you make it up to me Ember?"

I nodded weakly, mind overclouded with pain and emotions.

I felt him stand up, carrying me to my bedroom. He set me down on my bed, crawling ontop of me.

My mind cleared up quickly as I realized what he was trying to do. "Ryan I...I don't think I'm ready for this..."

My voice was weak and unconvincing, but I was just so frazzled at the moment. It was hard to sound anything but tired at the moment.

Ryan gave a light laugh, sweeping his hand lightly down my face, "You know something babe?"

"Hm?"

"I am the star quarterback of the football team. I am winning games left and right, leading my team to victory. I've got this super hot girlfriend, and she claims she just isn't ready? All the other guys are getting some from their girlfriends- or at least from the cheerleaders. I think it's about time you do your part Ember."

He moved down and kissed my lips forcefully, at the same moment undoing my belt from around my waist. I opened my eyes from the kiss, hoping to glare into his eyes, though Ryan seemed to be in his own little world. After a moment, he pulled back, a dark look on his face. After seeing my glare, he gave a sigh, then smiled

"Just relax Ember" He paused, seeing my eyes tear up. I didn't want this. I didn't want to have sex with him. I loved him, I did...I just wasn't ready.

"Ember...you love me don't you?"

I nodded, "Yeah but-"

"Then that's all that matters. Just relax."

I tried to block out everything he was doing- tried to escape my mind and just wait for it all to be over with. Sadly it really didn't work like that.

He pulled my shirt over my head, not even trying to be romantic about it. This wasn't about me, or us even. It was all about him. I was nothing more than a meat puppet at the moment- but I didn't mind to much. He was right in an odd way. I couldn't be so selfish. I was always so selfish. He was the star quarterback. I should be sleeping with him. Everyone assumed we already were, so why did it matter?

I felt the chill of the air as he lifted up my bra, instantly groping my stomach and chest like an animal. I shut my eyes tight to keep from crying, biting my tongue over and over again until it bled. It would all be over soon. He would be done with me and then we would be together. I just had to give him what he wanted. What he deserved. I'd learn to like it.

He bit my breast hard, causing me to cry against my will. He gave a dark laugh, kissing my neck as if that made the pain go away. He traced a hand over my bare stomach, diving his fingers underneath my pant line.

"You know I love you right?"

I smiled weakly, trying to play the part I was supposed to. Though...that made me so happy. Ryan. My Ryan. He was here with me. And he loved me.

He grinned, giving me a quick kiss, laying ontop of me as he continued to make out with me. I actually enjoyed the sensual kissing, until I felt a growing, painful hardness pressing roughly against my stomach. He was really...he was going to do it wasn't he?

His hands moved down my sides and back up, landscaping across my body before moving down to my pants and pulling them down along with my panties. As if that his secret motive all along, he shifted into a sitting position, working off his pants and boxers. I was far too shy to watch, and far too afraid to be curious.

I was roughly pulled up into an all fours position, facing Ryan. I stared into the bed, breathing heavy as nerves got the best of me. I was scared, nervous, I did not want this at all.

"Look up at me Ember." Ryan's voice was rough, demanding, like he was angry again. Maybe he was. I really wasn't all that sure actually.

I looked up, getting an eyefull of my boyfriend in all his naked glory. I would be lying if I said I had never been curious, or never imagined, however this wasn't right. This just wasn't the way I pictured it all happening. Him towering over me, me naked on all fours like a dog. Not only that, but he seemed angry. All in all, I felt so...dirty. This just wasn't how it was supposed to happen!

"Good girl." He grinned, "Now use your mouth for something other than being stupid."

I gaped at him, wanting some foul words to shoot out- but I just couldn't. I couldn't get the words out. I could never complain. Ryan was so good to me. If this is what he wanted...

I stared at him a moment longer, begging him with my eyes

"Do it slut."

I nodded, tears brimming over my eyes, shifting closer to him and forcing myself to do the unthinkable. I almost gagged instantly, having never done this in any fashion before, but I chocked the feeling back.

"Good, now use you tongue" He stated in a throaty voice, moving his hips back and forth to help encourage me. The sudden movement sparked my gag reflex again, but I somehow managed to fight it once more.

"Harder Ember! Come on!" he stated, his voice soft but firm and laced with pleasure. Tears continued sliding down my face as I forced myself to continue on, doing all I could think of that would make him pleased. After a few minutes of working my tongue, cheeks and teeth, something exploded in my mouth, making me cough and sputter the fluid out in alarm.

Ryan laughed, rubbing my back as I leaned over and continued coughing roughly.

"We'll have to work on that one Ember- you're supposed to swallow."

I ignored his words and continued coughing, wishing my head would just explode or I could just escape my mind long enough so that when I came back, he'd be done with me. I didn't want to feel all of this. Didn't want to remember this.

This wasn't me...this couldn't be my life!

Ryan pushed me back onto the bed, kissing me all over sending horrid waves of nervousness through me. He ran his hand up through my thighs, rubbing his hand in between my legs for a long while as he continued kissing me.

"Jesus Ember, try to have a little fun." He hissed, kissing my stomach again.

I hated this. He was touching me there. I always wanted to give it to him- my virginity- but him taking it...well, it just wasn't the same.

What felt like hours went by, mainly of Ryan running his hands where ever he pleased, placing random hickeys across my body- until he shifted positions.

"Alright, I'm finally ready again." he stated in a heated voice, positioning himself above me.

"Ryan wait I-"

But at that point it was too late.

There was a sudden burn of pain, the most intense feeling I had ever felt. Against my will, I screamed out, finding tears once again rolling down my face, gripping his shoulders so hard I thought he'd bleed. I had always heard it would get better, but it didn't feel like it at all.

It was like he was just ripping through me over and over again, like sandpaper inside of me.

"Ryan stop! This hurts!" I whispered, hands fisted in his back as I sobbed. Something was so wrong! Sex was supposed to feel good- why did it hurt so much?

"Shutup bitch! I'm almost finished! Now grind your hips!" he demanded, and I nodded in submission.

I pushed my hips against his as he moved down, instantly regretting my decision. It's like he got farther, harder- and it just felt so wrong.

He groaned, grinning with his eyes closed, "Yes, keep doing that Ember. That's my little skank."

I can't describe it, but that made me feel happy. I didn't care what I was- as long as I was his. If this made him happy, after everything I had already done tonight, I could do this. Perhaps he'd want to be with me now. Giving him my body might show him how serious I was. He'd trust me. He'd stop hitting me. He'd love me exactly like he used to before our senior year.

I'd be happy.

After a bit longer of us moving together, he pulled out for the last time, and collapsed beside me.

Finally. It was all over.

"That's how you treat your boyfriend Ember." He pulled me close, pulling myself flush against him.

I gave another sniff, trying to stop myself from crying though it was hard.

He didn't rape me- I mean, I told him no and all...I really didn't want to sleep with him...

It wasn't rape though. That couldn't have been rape. Ryan loved me. Ryan would never rape me.

Ryan loved me.

"Now get some sleep bitch. I'd like a repeat of this before school tomorrow got it?"

"Ryan I don't..."

"Listen you whore. If you did it once, you'll do it again. Besides, you didn't even moan or call out my name. That's another thing you'll have to work on. Now get some sleep. Don't make me tell you again."

I nodded, forcing myself to be content with what I had. So maybe Ryan had his rough edges, but it was all ok. I knew he loved me, and I loved him. That's all there was to it. He treated me way better than I deserved. This was all I could expect out of life.

This was what happiness looked like right?

This was as good as it was going to get.

This was my life. This was all I wanted out of life.

iiiiii

A/N: We get introduced into the life of Ember. It's sad, dark, and quite twisted. I'd like to explain it all now for you, but I will in the last chapter after the entire story is up. I'm guessing it will be about five or six chapters in total. Did you listen to the song while you read it? I hope you did, it adds a total new element to it. I really sets the tone for the story. I've listened to the same song for over five hours straight at this point. I don't recommend that however. I am the writer- you don't need to be as insane as I am.

In reference to the rape scene, I didn't want to get too in depth. I wanted it to be from Ember's perspective, and a typical rape victim isn't going to be graphic in the detail. They will try to forget and block out as much as possible, which I hope you could see in her responses, however I had to add in enough detail so the reader could follow. For any kinky people reading this, please don't post how 'sexy' or 'hott' that was. I would be offended. Rape is not hot, or sexy. Granted the character doesn't see it as rape, but that is possibly one of the saddest elements of this story.

Anyhow, I don't know when I'll be getting the next chapter up, but I don't want to dwell on this story too long because I'll get depressed. This means I'll probably have the next chapter up in a week or so, and have the story finished within a month or two. But no promises. For all you know, this will turn into a novel.

(I highly doubt that)

Until next time,

Midnight.