A/N: Oh hi. This turned into something highly… reflective in nature. I feel like I don't do Saiou's character justice at all. XD;;;

Disclaimer: Still don't own GX or its characters. :(


In his memory, Saiou could rarely recall ever being truly worried about something. When he had been possessed, he had worried, and yet he had taken comfort in the fact that fate would lead events to where they needed to go. It turned out he had been correct, and he had trusted the correct people to bring about the destiny that he desired.

After the events caused by the Light of Destruction, though, he had begun to live life in a way that he wasn't used to. He no longer saw destiny unfolding before his feet like a path that he was forced to follow. Every day held something new and unexpected for him. And while this was an exciting way to live a life that had heretofore been completely predicted, it was also a terrifying way to live it, never knowing what might come next.

He had met it with excitement though. Through it all, he knew that his sister was right there beside him, sharing the same new experiences with him, and that gave him a great deal of comfort.

Also, he knew that Ed would be there for him, to take on new and exciting things as well. Though neither of them had blatantly expressed anything towards each other in the aftermath of the horrors Saiou had inadvertently committed, there seemed to be a mutual understanding between them. Saiou knew that Ed loved him, and in turn he was certain that Ed knew he felt the same. It was a facet of their relationship they had yet to explore, but Saiou looked forward to it more with every passing day.

While Ed could not visit constantly, he had made a point of contacting Saiou in one way or another nearly every day, just to make sure everything was going alright. So when Saiou had not received a call from Ed in nearly a week, he began to worry. He tried to console himself by looking at it as some new experience to get through, but that quickly changed with a phone call from Duel Academy.

Ed was missing, along with a number of other people. From what they knew, he had been sucked into another dimension entirely. And Saiou suddenly realized that this would be the only reason that Ed would not contact him – because he physically could not.

For days, Saiou simply sat patiently by the phone, waiting for a new call, hoping that he could hear good news every time the phone rang. But Ed didn't call him. And any news he received was no news at all – they knew nothing, there was no progress, everyone was still missing.

After two weeks with no word from Ed, Saiou realized that he was beginning to panic. If only he could know what had happened, if Ed was safe, if he would be coming back.

He only knew that he wasn't handling the situation well at all when he found himself standing in front of an occult shop, staring longingly at a deck of tarot cards inside. For a long moment, he considered buying them – just so he could know. It hurt so much more simply not knowing. It was only through reminding himself of what Ed and Judai went through to relieve him of the burden of foresight that he was able to pull himself from the window, and not without a sense of regret.

Every night, he waited silently by the phone until he slept. Every morning, his sister would bring him food and he would wait some more.

It didn't matter how long it took. Saiou would wait an eternity to hear Ed's voice again.

Ed was alive, Saiou told himself over and over. Because if he wasn't, I wouldn't be able to cry for him.