A/N: Wow. I really need to stop chugging out the new fan fictions.

But you see, I've had the idea for this for awhile lately. And ohmygosh, it's a CRACK pairing, in the eyes of most people.

DemyxXAriel.

But before you scream and run off, just think about how likely it is. Think of all the things they'd have in common.

Now read the fic.

And maybe when you're done, you'll have become just as much of an Arimyx fanatic as I am.

Or, maybe you'll just shove your leftover Christmas turkey in my face. Oh well. I like turkey.

I know it's a day after Christmas, but...other holidays are still going on. And so this ISN'T a late present. It's just a...present for the holidays. Yeah. Let's go with that.

By the way, you might notice that this fic of mine is set in the first person, from Demyx's point of view. This is quite a leap from my usual third person. But you see, I was inspired by Vixen. Ah yes, my dear friend Vixen. Do go read her story, "Repercussions of Femininity" when you get the chance.

Her stories are often first person, and so I wanted to give it a shot myself.

After all, what's a writer if they don't learn some things from other writers?

Oh. And this story's dedicated to my three kick-butt friends--Issa, Greaseh, and Vixen. Vixen for being the best writer this century, Greaseh for being an amazing friend and awesomistic roleplayer, and Issa for being the greatest friend I've ever known.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Duh, people. All characters are property of Squeenix.


Waterlogged

Morning Routines

Okay, okay. I know I'm pretty much written down for the rest of my life as having a…slight obsession with water. But hey, it's not like I can help it any more than Axel can help that he's our very own private arsonist.

Still, hear me out. I know what all of you think—that you'd just LOVE to see me as a mermaid…er, man. You all are so sure I'd have a spree if I ever visited Atlantica, right? That me plus an entire world underwater would equal some sort of heaven for me?

Well, then you should all know. I've been there, done that.

And it didn't exactly turn out with the happiest of endings.

You see, what made it complicated was that…there was this girl. Maybe you've heard of her?

Her name was Ariel.

I knew her, all right. They just always leave me out of the stories that they tell you, though. I don't know why. I keep telling everyone we have hearts, after all. I keep telling them we're not completely worthless.

Still. When you're labeled as a nobody, quite literally, it's easy for everyone to forget you when they tell an epic tale of good and evil.

I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself, though.

Maybe I should just explain what really happened the one and only time I ever visited Atlantica.

Oh, and don't give me that look. I can tell a story. I'm not the complete idiot you all portray me as either, so don't act so surprised.

---

"ROOOOOXXAS!"

I gave a huge grin as the yell escaped from my mouth while I fled for my non-existent life.

I must admit, I'm proud of my vocal cords. I don't practice on my Sitar twice a day, every day, listen to my headphones with the volume up as loud as it will go, or scream as long as my lungs will permit (Do keep in mind that I don't even need to breathe quite like you Somebodies do) into a hairbrush each morning for no reason.

I can yell. I can scream. I can sing too, though considering no one has ever shown the slightest spark of interest in hearing me since before I even lost my heart to those confounded shadow creatures, I don't exactly do this feat in front of others very often at all.

You might very well be wondering why I was running.

Well, put simply—Axel had been dry about two and a half minutes ago.

Please. Note the key word there: had.

There are certain things I take to be my responsibility every morning in the Castle That Never Was (Don't you just love how original Xemnas is in the naming process?). Brushing my teeth, spending an hour or so fixing my hair that you know you're jealous of, and devouring most anything edible found in our kitchen until Xaldin's forced to go rob the local non-existent grocery store for more food happen to all be on my list each and every day.

As is annoying the crap out of Axel.

And as I've found: It's quite easy to rub the aforementioned pyro's nerves raw when you control the element of water.

There's just one little problem, though. You see, even though I'd just drenched the red-haired nobody head to toe with ten or so of my handy-dandy water clones, hence preventing him from any usage of fire against me…his little pinwheels of doom can still tear my ass to shreds with or without any fire-related help.

Thus, I have perfected the art of running.

Of course, I still need a little help so as not to spend the rest of my day running in endless circles around the castle like some repeat of a Tom and Jerry—in which case, I would be the hunted little mouse.

So there's your explanation on why I was running, and on why I was calling for the help of the only one ever able to talk any sense at all into our rather murderous pyromaniac—the best friend.

When I failed to see the mass of blond spikes I'd been hoping for, I cleared my throat while I expertly ran, deciding to try again in the unlikely chance he hadn't heard me.

"ROOOOOOOOX—"

"Demyx shut up and STOP yelling. I heard you the first time."

I skidded to a stop, enjoying the small squeals my boots emitted as they searched for friction on the spotless white floor, coming to a halt just in time, and right in front of just the person two feet shorter than me that I'd been eager to find.

"Did you soak him again?!" the only nobody younger than myself inquired with a frown on his face.

I blinked my turquoise eyes once or twice in what I hoped looked like a clueless manner. "Whatever would give you that idea?" I smiled innocently.

"DEMYX! I'M GOING TO RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND THEN LET SAÏX EAT WHAT'S LEFT OF YOU!!" screeched the enraged voice of a dripping-wet pyromaniac.

I, out of habit, shuddered, though I knew Xemnas wouldn't allow Axel to carry on with such a threat. Still, the mentioning of Saïx devouring my internal organs wasn't exactly a pleasant one.

Then I turned to face Roxas again, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. "…Help a guy out, old buddy, old pal?"

Roxas grumbled something inaudibly under his breath, something about how one of these days he just wasn't going to protect me anymore and leave me to face whatever danger I'd brought upon myself on my own.

I brushed his comments aside, though. Roxas was too compassionate to do something like that, and he knew it as well as I did.

Hardly a moment later, Axel rounded the corner, and let me tell you, he was smoking.

Oh, get your minds out of the gutter, you perverts. I don't mean like that. Ewwwww.

No, I mean he was literally smoking. Since I'd put the water and everything, he'd been obviously trying to dry himself off as best he could by raising his own temperature through his 'Flame-On' action.

Of course, the whole attempt was only turning out to be a smoky process, and he was only succeeding in sizzling like a campfire that you extinguish the next morning through pouring what's left of the soft drinks you brought with you on the trip over it.

Upon catching sight of me, Axel's already enraged face twisted into even more of a snarl. "I hope you're ready to die AGAIN," he growled at me, stomping in my direction quickly.

However, just before he could reach me, good old Roxas stepped in between the two of us.

"Axel…" the blond started with a sigh.

The pyro's snarl changed into one of a little less anger and a little more annoyance.

"You're protecting him AGAIN?!" His teal eyes shot in my direction angrily, narrowed down to the point where they looked like slits.

I waved at him cheerily from my safe position behind Roxas.

Roxas shook his head slowly. "Axel, Demyx can't help that he's an idiot."

I opened my mouth to protest that comment, but upon remembering the little detail that Roxas happened to be the one saving my butt, I bitterly kept my aforementioned big fat mouth shut tight.

"Roxas, he does this EVERY day. I don't enjoy water. At all," the red-head emphasized.

Oh really, Axel? I hadn't noticed. No, I never even thought back to how before I came up with my little routine of drenching you every day you stank like a dirty pig because you refused to shower.

Yes, I decided, it was rather good I was keeping these thoughts to myself.

"I know," Roxas groaned at his friend. "You can't just murder him, though…Superior doesn't allow any members to murder other members."

That's right. Because if he did, he'd only be able to keep Organization members around for all of five minutes, and that would be if he was lucky.

"That's right," a new voice spoke. "I'm afraid you're not allowed to harm Number IX, Axel."

All three of us turned to see Xemnas stepping through one of our handy-dandy portals of darkness and into the blindingly white hallway of the Castle That Never Was.

"Xemnas," Axel stated, not bothering with any titles like "Sir" or "Superior". The red-head never really had been big on respect.

Xemnas flinched, but let it slide. Axel was too valuable a member to chastise too much.

I silently wondered why I was never allowed to address the higher-ups in such a manner and decided to make my own breakthrough on that issue.

"Hiya Xemmy!" I remarked with good cheer.

What I got was a glare in return, one that quite plainly stated I was NOT allowed to call him that, lest I be asking for having to endure spear training with Xaldin.

Trust me. NOT a fun experience.

Xemnas finally cleared his throat as the three of us lesser nobodies waited around in silence, Axel sulkily self-drying himself, little wisps of smoke still curling up from him every now and then.

"Might you explain to me why the two of you," here he paused and sent both myself and Axel stern looks, "are enjoying bellowing at the top of your lungs? Perhaps I should remind you of how many of the other Organization members value their silence?"

Axel crossed his arms, tapping his foot in an irritated manner. "Don't blame me. Blame that water-loving idiot over there for drenching me head-to-toe with water purposely. This isn't the first time it's happened either," he spat out.

The Superior arched one eyebrow curiously, plainly thinking: So THAT explains the smoke…

Then he turned towards me, and I wanted to writhe under the second glare I was receiving.

"I think, perhaps…it's time we discussed your troublesome behavior when here with the rest of the Organization," Xemnas finally stated, voice carefully monotone, even though I could tell it was only to cover up how annoyed he was with me.

"In fact, it would probably be a good idea if we were to discuss your behavior in general, Number IX."

I paled. Oh crap. I was done for, no better than a shriveled up piece of toast stuck to the side of some rampant, demon toaster. He was going to turn me back into a Dusk, let Xaldin have his stabby way with me, or worse, make me assist to tending Marluxia's garden.

I do believe my left eye was twitching by that point. Maybe you're not familiar with this little tidbit of information, but our Graceful Assassin has a tendency towards carnivorous plants.

And yet he's a vegetarian himself.

How I loathe irony.

Either way, don't you start to think that we were always just thirteen members. Once upon a time, we had somewhere around seventeen members.

What happened to them? Plants, I'm telling you. The friggin' PLANTS ate them.

Marluxia's got the regurgitated shoes to prove it.

I wanted nothing more than to scream my trademark "RUN, RUN AWAY!" 'battle' cry—but of course, wherever I went, I could be tracked down through the usage of portals, and though I can kick butt when it comes to running, I never was a talented child at hide-and-seek.

Plus, I really wasn't in the mood to raise some crappy dramatic scene anyways.

So there was only one thing left for me to say.

"Y-yes sir…"

Oh. I guess I forgot to mention how I really stutter when I'm nervous. Or afraid for the wellbeing of my not-quite life.

Xemnas drew up another portal, no doubt one that led to the Room of Decidable Fates. That was his oh-so-poetic name for his office. The very sound of it made me feel as though I was a child again, getting sent to the principal's office.

With my head hanging low and my fear of plants at an all-time high, I followed the Superior into the portal that led to the realm of nothingness, the last thing I saw being the rather satisfied face of Axel. As soon as I was in, the previous portal closed, right as another opened up.

Xemnas didn't hesitate to walk on through, and I gave a heavy sigh before following once more, so as to hear my punishment.


A/N: This was shorter than I planned on it being, but don't worry. I'll update it soon because I've already got an idea of how the entire first part of the story is going to go.

You all should know my drill by now. Five reviews, or NO update at all. And no pestering me to update even if it's after I've got five reviews. Or I'll shove your face down my paper shredder.

Oh, and to also follow in Vixen's footsteps, and an added bonus for reviewing, I'll respond to whatever comments and thoughts you'd like to share in your reviews right here in the Author's Note after every chapter.

But since this is only the first chapter and thus this story has no reviews yet, that'll have to wait till the NEXT chapter, you geniuses.

Think of this new fan fic as your present, folks. Happy holidays to you all. And if you're wondering what to get me, well.../Reviews/ would be fine. :3