A/N: Taking a stab at writing again, and have been completely inspired lately with Crossing Lines and these characters. As you read, you'll figure out the timelines, but there are spoilers for the Season 2 finale. Also, I know the characters may be a bit OOC; but hopefully it's all plausible.
This story has two parts—the first is below, and the second part will be added later this week. Already have a few other ideas that will continue this into future "glimpses", so we'll see if the writing bug strikes!
Enjoy, and please do review. Would love to hear what you think. I did a very quick beta on this; any mistakes are my own.
These are the Moments
Part 1 of 2.
"What are you doing for the holidays?"
He could vaguely hear the question, his eyes half closed since he was trying to get some rest.
"Tommy, what are you doing for the holidays?" he was asked again, a slight nudge on his shin accompanying the question.
He opened his eyes and focused them on the red haired woman sitting across from him on the train. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to answer.
He grunted, rubbing his hands against his tired eyes, while sitting up straighter in his seat.
"I think Tommy is having trouble forming words this morning," Sebastian said, grinning from his seat across the aisle. "Maybe he had a late night celebrating the end of the case?"
"I have it on good authority that Tommy was not out late last night. He was back at the hotel even before we were," Arabela chimed in with a slight hint of mischief.
Tommy grunted again, turning his attention instead to looking out the window and the world racing by while trying to ignore the bantering amongst his teammates—he was not in the mood for banter this morning.
Eva watched Tommy ignore his teammates and her question. She wondered if something was wrong; it wasn't like him to not get in a word edge wise, especially when Sebastian and Arabela were ribbing him.
Eva sighed and tried to not read too much into it. They were all exhausted and looking forward to a much deserved break. She knew Tommy had not gone out the previous night—she hadn't either, turning down Sebastian and Arabela's invitation to join them for another round of drinks. What she did know, though, was that Tommy was on the phone late into the night. Their hotel rooms were adjacent to each other, and the thin walls were not too conducive to privacy. She wasn't able to figure out who he was talking to, but she could tell he was upset by the little she could make out.
Tommy could feel Eva staring at him across the small table separating their facing seats on the train. He really didn't want to talk with anyone, even Eva. Since the Major's shocking death and the news that Eva's parents were actually alive; it has been a roller coaster few months for the entire team. Amongst all his teammates, he knew that he and Eva had a "unique" relationship, to say the least. They had confided in each other and helped each other—dare he say, he really enjoyed Eva company and they both knew that there was something between them that they couldn't exactly label or explain. It was something unspoken between them; and they had yet to really lay their cards out on the table. But, there was something there, and Tommy knew Eva's concern and desire to get him to talk right now came from that.
He was just so tired and just wanted to get home. The four of them were making their way back to The Hague, having wrapped up on a gruesome and trying case that had them on the road for close to the better part of a month. What was supposed to be a simple case of cross border smuggling had blown into the discovery of a larger organized operation that had implicated some well-known public officials in multiple countries. Simply put, the case had taken a life of its own, and the ICC team was just thankful that their involvement had officially been wrapped up and local authorities were now each perusing their cases.
The timing of the end of the case could not have been better, as it was now a few days until Christmas and everyone was looking forward to their much needed break. Dorn had reassured them that they could take the next few weeks off; and weren't expected to report back to The Hague until the New Year. When he heard the news, Hickman had jumped on a plane bound to New York from Madrid, and the rest of the team was heading back to The Hague before dispersing.
Deciding to let Tommy be, Eva turned her attention to her other two teammates sitting across the aisle.
"How about your plans Sebastian?" Eva asked.
The German smiled. "I'm going to spend the break in Berlin with Erik. Kathrin is working through the holidays, so she was happy when I offered to help out," he explained.
"That's great, I'm happy for you," Eva said with a smile. She was glad to see that things were going well for Sebastian and his son. Who knows, maybe the holidays will help clarify the relationship between him and his ex-girlfriend. Eva knew the last time they had worked a case in Berlin a few months ago, the former couple were looking quite cozy.
"And you, Arabela?" she asked the only other woman on the team.
"No definite plans yet. I think I may just lay low and enjoy some quiet time," she responded, "I get too much adventure on the job. Some tranquility will be nice."
"What are your plans Eva?" Sebastian asked, closing the laptop that he had been working on.
"I think I may go visit family in Italy—I haven't made plans yet as I wasn't sure if we would be done with the case. It's been a few years since I've been home for Christmas…" Eva started, "and you know, with everything with my parents…"
"I'm sure it's a complicated situation; but maybe a few days over the break won't be too bad?" Sebastian suggested, knowing that the relationship between Eva and her parents was still shaky, at best. "You can come to Berlin if you want, I'm sure Erik would love to see his Zia Eva."
"Thanks Sebastian, I'll keep that in mind," Eva replied with a smile.
Their conversation was interrupted by a train announcement, letting everyone know they would be arriving in a few minutes. Everyone began putting their belongings away and preparing for arrival.
As the train pulled into the station, the four of them grabbed their bags and equipment and made their way on to the platform. They all exchanged quick hugs and good byes, and promised to keep in touch during the break.
And with that; the ICC Team was officially on holidays.
Making her way down the stairs and into the main bullpen area, Eva quickly rolled the cases and bags she had into Sebastian's lab. She has volunteered to take his equipment back to the office as he was rushing to catch a flight to Germany in a few hours.
She dumped the case and bags in a corner and made sure everything was switched off before making her way back to the main area and her desk. She really didn't have plans that evening, and thought finishing off and uploading the final reports from their case would be the last thing she did before she really went off the clock.
She booted up her computer and quickly logged in and got to work. She must have been working for a good few hours before noticing the time. Uploading the last file on to the intranet, she thought about what she wanted to do next.
In reality, she knew the reason she was sitting at her desk working and not starting her vacation was that she really didn't know what she wanted to do during the break. Ever since discovering that her father was alive in Spain a few months ago, her life had been turned upside down. And, to find out that her mother was also alive, changed everything. It was a complicated situation that even to this day, Eva was unsure if she knew all the facts or believed everything she was told—an elaborate cover-up story that involved having to "fake" her parents death and having them go into hiding for close to the last 10 years.
Eva rubbed her hands against her temple. Sometimes just thinking about it gave her a headache. Since their reunion in Spain, she's seen her parents two more times and have spent less than a week in total with them. With the busyness of her job, she really hadn't resolved a lot of the issues with her parents yet and she wasn't sure if she wanted to tackle that monster of a task during her vacation. She wanted to go back to Italy to visit some of her extended family for the holidays, as she missed her aunts, uncles, cousins and kids in the family—but she wasn't really ready to deal fully with her parents, not quite yet, at least.
Shutting down her computer and gathering her belongings, she contemplated about calling her mother later that evening to find out what everyone was doing for the holidays. The more she thought about family and the holidays, her thoughts automatically started to wander over to Tommy. She wasn't sure why he was acting the way he did earlier on the train, and a big part of her really wanted to call him and see if he needed someone to talk to. Maybe, deep down inside, she thought maybe they would have spent some of their break together. She sighed, talk about another complicated relationship. All of her relationships were so complicated.
As she was about to leave, one of the phones in the office started to ring. She looked around and saw the red light flashing on top of Tommy's phone. She walked over to his desk, looking at the caller display on the phone.
Private Name
The phone continued to ring.
Eva made a decision.
"Sergeant Vittoria?" she said, answering the phone.
"Tommy?" a thick accented female voice came thru the line. "Is this Tommy?"
"No this is Sergeant Vittoria—Detective McConnel is not here right now," Eva answered, trying to place the familiar voice, "I can take a message and pass it on to him."
"Do you know where Tommy is?" the voice asked her, Eva could pick up on the concern immediately. "I've tried his cell phone and it's not working. I thought maybe he was at work?"
"He's not answering his cell phone?"
"No, I've been trying all afternoon and the phone doesn't even ring. Did he change his number?"
"I don't think so," Eva replied, trying to make sense of what was happening. "I last saw Detective McConnel a few hours ago," Eva explained. "Who am I speaking with?" she asked, giving up on trying to remember where she had heard this voice previously.
"I'm Tommy's mum, Collen," the lady explained.
"Mrs. McConnel, of course, I thought I recognized the voice."
"Yes, yes. And you are Eva the Italian," Collen said, her voice becoming lighter. "Do you know where Tommy is? I really need to speak with him."
"I really don't know where he is—we all went different ways when we got off the train. Is there something I can help you with?"
"I just need to speak with my son. I try not to call too much, just in case, but it's important that I speak with him."
"Did he know you would call today?"
"No. I called him late last night while he was in Spain—something has happened in the family, and he needs to know what is going on. I have an update today."
Eva started to piece together what was happening. Tommy was on the phone with her mother the night before, and it explained the foul mood he was in earlier today. Whenever Tommy was upset about something not work related; she knew it had to do with his family.
"I'll try to find him for you, and have him call you back?" Eva suggested, "maybe he forgot to charge his phone…"
"You will do that for me?"
"Of course, not a problem. Let me give you my cell number and you can call me later if you don't hear from Tommy, ok?"
"Thank you so much Sergeant."
Eva passed along her cell number and hung up.
Pushing all her other thoughts aside, she grabbed her jacket and quickly made her way out to the parking lot. She needed to find Tommy.
Tommy swung at the big punching bag, taking out his frustration at the bag. He had been working out for the good part of the last two hours, and he was starting to think he should stop. His hands were starting to get bloodied and red, as he hadn't wrapped them properly or worn gloves prior to starting his assault on the helpless bag.
He just wanted to get his mind off what was troubling him, and punishing his body was always something that did the trick. But, to be honest, it wasn't really working. All his thoughts started to wander back to phone call with his mother the night before.
She had called him pretty late—which surprised him, as their usual phone calls were during the day. He didn't get to speak with his Ma as much as he would like; but given the circumstances they made their calls every few weeks count.
"Ma? Is everything ok?" Tommy asked, bypassing any pleasantries
"Tommy, where are you?"
"I'm in Spain, what's going on?"
"You need to go to Belfast—soon. Granda is not doing well, and he wants to see you."
"Granda? What happened?"
"He's been very sick for the last year. I think it's almost time Tommy," his mom explained.
"How come no one told me about him being sick until now?"
"You know how stubborn your Da is. He was convinced that his father was going to get better; but it's not going to happen, Tommy."
"Is he at a hospital?" Tommy asked, knowing the distrust the family had to proper medical facilities. "Where is he?"
"No, he didn't want to stay at the hospital. They've moved him back to the house…" his mother explained, knowing Tommy would know what she meant.
"He can't stay there!"
"They're following his wishes."
"You know it's nearly impossible for me to go back there."
"I spoke with your father and Collin—in a roundabout way, they said they both would be back in London for the next few days…that they wouldn't be in Belfast. I think they were hinting that you can go see Granda…that they won't get in your way..."
"I don't know…you know Granda wasn't very happy about me the last time he saw me when I left to join the force all those years ago…"
"Tommy, I know. But, he's not doing well and he wants to see you. You two were so close when you were a boy—I think he's thinking about those times because he was the happiest then."
Tommy didn't know what to say.
"Tell me you will consider making the trip? You need to do this before Christmas, as everyone here is going back up to Belfast on Christmas Eve."
"Of course, for Mass, I know…" Tommy said, knowing well his family's tradition of going back to Northern Ireland over the holidays.
"Think about it Tommy, I'll call you if there's any change with Granda, ok?"
"OK. I'll be in touch Ma."
Tommy knew he needed to go home.
Growing up, amongst all his grandchildren, Tommy was the closest with his grandfather. Patrick McConnel was a highly respected member of the Traveler community in Belfast. He was known as a leader and everyone knew him. He was a man that treated everyone fairly, but was also a man of principle and integrity—and was not against doing what was right even if it was against the law. Unlike his son Michael who was a fighter and always getting into trouble with the law; Patrick, for the most part, was not in that life. But, he still commanded over his family with a heavy grip, and nothing happened in Belfast without Patrick knowing.
Tommy and his siblings, for the most part, were raised by their grandparents as their parents were always in and out working various "jobs". Tommy bonded the most with his Granda, as he would spend hours and hours learning from him; and listening to countless stories. While his brothers Sean and Collin preferred running around outside and getting into trouble with other kids, Tommy enjoyed the one-on-one time with his grandfather. Even when the family moved down to London permanently, Tommy would always return back to Belfast to visit his Granda whenever he could; especially when things got too "hot" in London. But, with all the events that happened surrounding Sean's death and the escalating criminal activities and violence with his family, Tommy knew he had to get out. He had to do this in order to "save" his family—to try to figure it out. When Patrick found out that one of his grandkids was turning away from his family and the traveling community; he was enraged. It didn't matter the reasons that Tommy was doing it—and he had gone to his grandfather to tell him of his decision and plead with him—but Patrick held family and his community over everything; and could not accept Tommy if he went through with his plan.
That was years ago, and since then, Tommy had not seen or spoken with his Granda at all. Even when his Granma passed a few years earlier, he was not informed or given the opportunity to see them. He was not welcomed by them, at all.
Tommy stopped punching the bag, his arms tiring and burning. He knew he had to go home, but there were so many underlying issues. His relationships with his family was complicated, and there were a lot of old wounds that hadn't been healed over the years. But, they were still his family, and he was a McConnel.
He made a decision that he would fly to Belfast the next day. He would have to deal with this now, and he couldn't put this on hold anymore.
Eva stood in front of Tommy's door, ready to knock. She had tried calling his cell several times since she left the office, and knew his phone was dead. She didn't know what the pressing family news was, but she knew enough about Tommy's family that it wouldn't be good news.
She banged loudly on Tommy's door. He lived in a building that used to be some warehouse or factory by the water, and had been converted to several apartments in the last few years. From the outside, Tommy's place looked like a rundown building, but the inside was welcoming and warm. She knew that Tommy spent a lot of his spare time fixing up his place, as he once mentioned to her that he liked working with his hands and building things when he could. She had also been to his place enough times to know that it was hard to hear someone was knocking from inside. She kicked the metal door with her boot a few times, knowing that usually did the trick.
Still no answer.
She was about to go around and try the back door when she heard the loud bolt being moved and the door creak open.
"Goddammit, who's making all the noise?" Tommy's voice shouted, obviously annoyed.
"Tommy, it's me."
"Eva?" Tommy asked, opening the door further. He was genuinely surprised to see the beautiful red head at his door step. "What are you doing here?"
"I tried calling you, but your phone is dead or something."
"You did?"
"Are you going to let me in or what?" Eva asked, waiting for Tommy to open the door wider.
He held open the door further as Eva brushed past him and into the warm apartment.
She knew immediately that he had been working out, based on his attire and disheveled appearance.
"You need to stop taking out your anger with the punching bag," Eva said, noticing his bloodied hands.
"It's the best way for me to work stuff out, you know that," he replied, walking towards his kitchen so he could wash the blood off his hands in the sink.
"Is there something troubling you Tommy? I didn't want to push you earlier on the train in front of everyone; but I can tell there's something going on," Eva said, grabbing a pack of ice from his freezer and handing it over to him for his knuckles.
"Everything's fine, don't worry about me Eva," he said with a reassuring smile, taking the ice and applying it on his left hand. "You should go enjoy your vacation," he said, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"I can't do that if I know something is wrong Tommy, you know that," she said, standing shoulder to shoulder with him, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I don't like it when you lie to me."
"How do you know I am?" he asked with a small smile.
"You know the answer to that," Eva said, giving him a pointed look. "We know each other better than that."
Tommy nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.
"Plus, I am here because I have a message for you from your mother."
"My Ma?" Tommy asked, confused.
"I was at the office working this afternoon and she called your line—you weren't picking up your cell."
"You spoke with my Ma?" Tommy asked, his eyes lighting up, clearly amused.
"Yes, I did…and apparently I'm Eva the Italian?" she said, happy to see Tommy in a lighter mood.
"I don't know what you are talking about," he said with a chuckle, not willing to admit to her that he may have mentioned her to his mother in their conversations.
"She wants you to call her—she said it was important. Something happening with your family?"
The smile quickly disappeared, and he became serious again.
"I will give her call, thanks for passing along the message. You didn't have to come all this way to do that," he said, pushing himself away from the counter and trying to put some space between the two of them.
"Don't do that," Eva said, knowing he was trying to distance himself from her and shutting her out. "What's going on Tommy, just talk to me…I'm here for you," she said softly, walking over to him and placing her arm against his shoulder. She could physically feel his tenseness.
"You shouldn't have to worry about my problems Eva. You have enough going on with your family, you don't need to hear about mines."
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on," Eva pressed on. She knew Tommy had a stubborn streak in him; and she wasn't going to let that dissuade her.
Tommy thought for a moment on what he wanted to do. He basically had two choices, he could tell Eva what was going on; what was eating at him…or shut her out and not tell her anything. He wanted to take the easy way out, but he also knew that the two of them were getting to a point where she was not going to let him do that.
They've been dancing around whatever "this" was between them for the last few months, and he knew she was truly concerned about him. Just like he was when everything surrounding Eva's parents came to light.
"I know what you're trying to do, to keep everything inside and not let anyone in. But, this is me…Eva…you can trust me. Just like I trusted you when you helped me with all the crazy stuff with my family," Eva continued, taking the pack of ice out of his hand and placing it on the counter. She stood right in front of him, completely in his personal space and placed her warm hands on either side of his face. She looked him dead in the eyes, not letting him advert her gaze.
"Tell me what is going on Tommy. Tell me now," she said softly.
Tommy sighed. She had backed him into a corner—literally, and he knew there was no way to avoid her questions. In some way, a part of him was glad she was doing this. It was time somebody else knew what was going on.
"Are you sure? It's about my grandfather" he asked quietly, leaning his head against his right palm, enjoying her touch.
Eva watched Tommy closely. She could see a shift in her demeanour already, and knew her attended affect was working.
"Yes. I want to know everything."
Resolvedly, Tommy pushed Eva back slightly, grabbing her right hand in his. He held her hand tightly as he led her into the den next to the kitchen. He gestured for her to sit on the oversized sofa as he grabbed a throw blanket from the end of the sofa and passed it to her. She watched quietly as he walked over to the old fireplace in the corner of the den, and started a fire. When he was satisfied with it, he made his way back over to where Eva was, sitting down in the recliner next to the sofa. Unhappy with the sitting arrangement, Eva stood up from the sofa with the throw blanket and without asking, proceeded to settle herself comfortably on Tommy's lap. Tucking herself delicately in his warmth and leaning into his strong arms, she draped the throw over the both of them.
"Start from the beginning, take your time…I'm listening," she said softly, feeling his heart beating strongly.
Tommy yawned as he stood in the long line, waiting to board his flight to Belfast. Schiphol airport was an absolute zoo— he was on an early morning flight to Belfast via London Heathrow, joining the masses of people trying to get to wherever their holiday destination was. He kind of missed the simplicity of train travel, as his line nudged slowly forward.
He was heckuva tired. He barely got any sleep the night before.
Eva ended up staying at his place until close to midnight. They talked for hours about his family—he told her everything about his childhood growing up in Belfast, who his Granda was and everything in between. He was truly amazed at how she listened attentively to everything he said—asking him questions for clarification, prodding him to delve into his "feelings" more and giving her own two cents. Not once did she react negatively to some of his confessions about his childhood and his family, and he felt comforted that he was finally able to talk to somebody about the huge weight he carried since "cutting ties" with his family.
"I think nobody knows it better than me when I say that family doesn't define who you are," Eva said softly.
She was sitting up now, with Tommy lying the length of the sofa with his head comfortably resting on her lap. She was running her fingers thru the short strands of head, and trying to find the right words to express her point.
"But, I also know that you can't run away from your family—no matter how much you try. We all make our own decisions as to what we want and who we are; but at the end of the day, I am still a Vittoria and you are a McConnel. That means something, and I think what's important is that no matter how screwed up our families are, you can't get caught up in it and let it dictate your life. You need to act, not react," she said softly.
"I've been avoiding my own issues with my family for too long, and I think it's time that I do something about it. Will we ever be the happy family again? I am not sure, but I can't let my memories, my fears or my anger stop me from having a meaningful relationship with them—whatever that ends up being."
"You're going to see your parents, then?" he asked, looking up at her.
"Yes. I don't want to lose this second chance—who knows what will happen in the future. Just like you need to go back and make amends with your grandfather—maybe even with the rest of your family."
"I don't think that will ever happen, with my family, at least."
"You never know. Your mother sounds like she's already bridging some of that for you. Maybe it's time for you to try—the Tommy McConnel I know would never back down from a challenge," she said with a small smile.
"I have the hands to prove that, too," he said with a laugh, as she traced the cuts on his knuckles.
"It's late…you should call your mother back as I know she's waiting to hear from you," Eva said, looking at the time. She couldn't believe how long they had spent talking. And, it felt like they just barely scratched the surface.
"I should take you home—it's late," Tommy said, sitting up.
"My bike is outside. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, go…call your mom. Tell her you will go home…make things right," Eva said, standing up and stretching out her tired limbs.
He stood up, and wrapped Eva in his arms; in a tight hug. "Thank you for everything, for listening, for not judging…" he said quietly, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.
She leaned back to look at him, giving him one of those smiles that he loved—her whole face lighting up. She wanted to say something—say how she felt—but knew that it may not be the right time. She leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.
"Good night, Tommy."
He watched as she gave him another quick squeeze before turning and making her way out of his place. He knew he needed to call his mother and book his flight; but his heart ached watching the woman that was becoming a big part of his life leave.
If only he could tell her his feelings. One day. Soon.
"Boarding pass, sir?"
Tommy was jolted out of his reverie as the gate agent looked at him expectantly. He mumbled his apologies and thrust his dark red passport and boarding pass to her.
"Welcome aboard, Mr. McConnel," she said, scanning the passport and pass. "We actually have a few business class seats open and you've been selected for an upgrade to one of them," she explained, passing to him a new boarding card with a different seat assignment.
"Really?" Tommy asked, surprised as this has never happened to him. Not one to bemoan an upgrade, he took back his documents and grabbed his duffel bag and made his way down the gangway to the awaiting plane.
He was settling into his nice business class seat, enjoying a glass of whiskey and flipping thru the movie selection on his personal entertainment system when he realized that the passenger occupying the empty window seat next to his was standing in the aisle.
"I think that's my seat," a familiar voice said, making Tommy slightly spit his sip of his drink back into the glass. "Would you mind helping me with my bag?" the voice asked, slightly teasingly.
Tommy quickly placed the glass on the centre console and scrambled to his feet, with a look of absolute surprise on his face.
"Eva? What are you doing here?" he asked, not believing she was there.
"I thought a trip to Belfast would be nice during my vacation, what do you think?" she asked, brushing past him and settling herself into the window seat.
"Why would you want to go to Belfast during your break?" Tommy asked, quickly placing Eva's small roller into the overhead compartment before sitting back down.
She reached across the console separating their seats and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze.
"I thought you may want some support on your trip," she said, seeing the realization set in on his face.
"But…what about your family? You said you were going to try to work things out with them."
"And, I will—but they can wait a few more days," she said matter of factly. "This is more important right now for me."
Tommy let her words sink in.
"How did you know what flight I was on? Was this your doing?" he asked, gesturing to the upgraded seat.
"Well you know me…I can be quite persuasive when I need something," she replied, gladly taking a glass of champagne from the leading flight attendant. "I am Italian, don't forget."
Tommy chuckled. He knew this side of Eva very well—all action no matter what.
"Are you sure you want to come?"
"Yes Tommy, I'm exactly where I want to be."
This was definitely going to be an interesting trip.
TBC
R&R, please!
