"St Jude, you'll be hearing from me a lot, because I'm beginning to think motherhood is impossible,especially when you have issues like me. I hate mental illness." Diana Reid held her week old son as she walked down the hospital hallway with her family. For almost 6 years now, she had lived with the diagnosis of Schizophrenia. Her family and friends had given her a lot of support and worked together to make sure her husband, William didn't burn out.
"Nothing is impossible with God, dear. You have quite the support system behind you too. I don't think this is an impossible cause"stated her sister, Anne who was a Catholic sister and psychiatrist.
"I've cut back on my caseload at the hospital, now that we have an additional psychiatrist on staff. Your friend Barb told me she's a phone call away now that she's retired from Bennington ,and Father John said he'll drop in as much as possible" said Diana's best friend and former college roommate,Veronica. Their friend Barb was a recently retired psychiatric nurse from Bennington Sanitarium,a private psychiatric hospital in Las Vegas. Their parish priest was very empathetic to those with mental illness as his sister had Schizophrenia.
"Well little Spencer, I think there is hope for you with your crazy mommy after all" said Diana kissing her baby boy.
"Honey, you've done so well during the pregnancy and birth. Almost a year since your last hospitalization and I'm going to be here for you as much as possible" said William,before kissing his wife and baby.
" I think God gave me my team at the hospital.. And that is not a delusion" Diana deflared.
" I agree, now let me bring up the car, so we can bring our baby home" said William.
"I'm really nervous, Veronica" said Diana
"Lots of mothers are Diana."
" I read Dr. Spock and took lots of notes."
"That's wonderful, I'll be a phone call away. If you would like to, you could always come over or come to the library with me" suggested Veronica,who had moved next door after she and William had speculated that something was not right, a few months before Diana's first episode of psychosis.
"I think I might do that. Spencer needs to see books at an early age. Reading is so important."
"Diana,I'm a phone call away too. I love you. May God bless you. May I make the sign of the cross on your forehead and pray with you?"asked her sister who taught at a college in Los Angeles and had some clients at a mental health clinic for low income patients, run by the diocese. She had sometimes made the 4 hour trip on weekends to help her sister and the Sisters who shared her apartment,were very understanding of her occasional absences on the weekend.
"Oh please, Anne." Together they prayed for the health of mother and baby for many years to come.
Father John Riley sat in the rectory with a heavy heart. For six years he had known the Reid family. He had suspected from the moment he met Diana, that an episode of psychosis was not far off. She had joked about being the absent minded professor,but he had seen it happen to his sister, the year before. He knew it was probably mental illness. He had been there for her whenever she needed someone, during numerous hospitalizations, every Sunday evening at her home for dinner with his sister and most recent,during the birth of little Spencer. The Bishop of Reno had just transferred him to a parish in Reno and tomorrow was his last Sunday at St. Mary's in Las Vegas. He prayed the news would not affect Diana too much. She had wanted Spencer to be baptized by him so much.
William scanned the mail when he got home, after Spencer and Diana had gone to bed. Thanks to Anne,the house was spotless. William thought she was the best sister in law anyone could ask for. She lived to serve as Jesus, a prime example of servant leadership. He opened a letter from the parish,hoping it wasn't what he thought it was. When he read of Fr. John's transfer his heart sank. He knew that there was still lots of stigma around mental illness and although it seemed somewhat common among some of the more approachable and social justice minded priests to have a MSW (Masters in Social Work), there still were some traditional authoritative ones who still believed in exorcisms and didn't try to understand the complexities the marginalized faced firsthand. If that was the case, Diana would have one less person in her support system and that saddened William
He tried to break the news as gently as possible to Diana. She was quite upset by the news.
"Stupid patriarchy,bishops moving priests around like a game of chess."
"Oh Diana, he's been very good to us I know. It hurts me too. But let's give the new priest a chance. Perhaps he will respond well to education about mental illness."
"Fr. John should baptize him right here, right now."
"But you love the Mass and welcoming Spencer into the community."
"The new priest better not know I'm crazy."
"It's up to you my dear."
They heard Spencer cry.
"Why must he cry so much? He cries too much William."
"I'll check on him Diana. How about you put some music on?"
She put on a choral arrangement of a favorite prayer by a mystic who she used to teach. By the end of it,little Spencer's crying had stopped.
"Do you like the words of Teresa of Avila,little one? Let Mommy hold you."
"I know the crying can be stressful and trying to figure out his needs. But Spencer will know you love him,Diana. I'm here to make sure that he and you get good care."
"You won't ever leave me will you?"
"Oh no. I'm not that heartless. I'll do everything I can to make this marriage work."
"Your Grandma Reid says she thinks you'll want an annulment because of the Schizophrenia and our child may turn into Ed Gein because I'll be a horrible mother."
"Sweetheart. She's just afraid of any woman who doesn't want to be a complacent housewife. My mom even got criticism for being on the parish council. All she knows is life with Grandpa who I hear wasn't kind to her."
"Oh,so don't listen to her?"
"No, remember what Anne told you. It wasn't your controlling mother who made you ill."
"My brain doesn't work right. Psycho is just a foolish movie."
" Let's have some pizza ,it's ready now."
They relaxed the rest of the evening, knowing that they could work together to give Spencer a good life.
