Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any recognisable characters or places.
It had happened so quickly that Qui-Gon almost missed it, even after years of training himself to see movements faster than the human eye should be capable of following. He and Obi-Wan had been on either side of the creature, holding their own but not fighting at their best. That was his fault really, this business with Anakin had hurt Obi-Wan and they would have to talk the issue through in depth once all of this was over. But first there was the mission to complete, and he was too professional to let personal issues get in the way. Or so he would claim, if asked.
So there they were, fighting this terrible, powerful, dark-force user, this sith, and then in the blink of an eye Obi-Wan was struck down. Not with a sabre blow, at least not one that Qui-Gon saw, but the learner abruptly fell to his knees and screamed as though he had just been gutted. Their training bond flared painfully then went dead, and Qui-Gon allowed the sith to flee out of reach, desperate to get to Obi-Wan's side, fearing he might die. Yet the boy seemed unmarked, and was already recovering. As Qui-Gon reached out a hand to help him up Obi-Wan leapt to his feet, flying over his master's head, and attacked the sith who had crept up behind them. With moves that Qui-Gon had never taught him, a speed and confidence seen only in Yoda, and a serenity that even Mace Windu would envy, Obi-Wan dispatched the zabrakian and powered down his sabre before the various body parts even landed on the floor. Then the apprentice had turned towards Qui-Gon again, stared for a moment, and fainted.
None of it made sense. It was as though Obi-Wan had been possessed by some other spirit, yet how and why? Twelve hours on, he remained unconscious and unresponsive. Not comatose, the medics insisted whenever Qui-Gon asked, only asleep. But it was an unnatural sleep and Qui-Gon did not like it. After bringing Obi-Wan to the infirmary, he had barely left the learner's side, forcing everyone else to come to him. Anakin was now asleep on a chair by the window, exhausted by the events of the day, and Qui-Gon stared at him curiously. Why had the Force led them to this point? What was he supposed to do?
"Nnngh."
The moan was soft, but he jerked back towards the bed when he heard it.
"Obi-Wan?" he called softly.
There was no response for a second, then Obi-Wan abruptly went rigid and began yelling.
"Run Luke! Run!"
Anakin awoke, startled, and fell off his chair in his panic. Qui-Gon gathered Obi-Wan up, recognising the signs of a strong vision.
"It's alright, Ani." he called. "It's just a dream. He's just dreaming."
Obi-Wan was struggling in his arms, frantic to free himself but at the same time apparently too weak to manage it. Qui-Gon held him closer, stilling him as best he could and waiting for the fit to pass. Just as abruptly as it had started, it stopped, and those blue-green eyes stared wildly up at him. Qui-Gon squeezed him gently.
"It's alright, little one. You're safe now."
Obi-Wan freed one hand and reached up shakily to touch Qui-Gon's cheek, as though not certain that his master was really there, but he pulled away before making contact. Almost as if he were afraid to find out, Qui-Gon thought absently.
"Am I dead?" he whispered.
"Not just yet, no." Qui-Gon joked drily, but then tears welled in Obi-Wan's eyes. "Hey now, what's wrong?"
"I must be dreaming, then." the response came, the eyes closing and tears flowing down the pale cheeks. "I can't bear to dream like this anymore. It hurts too much."
"Ani, go and get Doctor Melison." Qui-Gon ordered, reaching for his handkerchief and using it to wipe Obi-Wan's face. "Easy now, padawan. You're disoriented. You've had a vision."
"No." Obi-Wan mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. "Please don't do this. Please don't. Anything but this. Anyone but him."
"Anyone but who, padawan? What are you seeing?"
Visions were not something he had ever dealt with easily, given that he had never experienced them. Obi-Wan was the first of his learners to strongly touch the Unifying Force and he had gradually learned what was needed through trial and error. The stronger the vision, the more debilitating the disorientation. Some visions seemed to suck the viewer in and hold onto them. It took a lot of coaxing to draw the visionary back from those so-called dreams, coaxing that in the past had been aided by the training bond between master and apprentice - a bond that was now absent. Physical comfort was all that he could offer at this moment, and it was a poor substitute. Obi-Wan did not answer his question, but abruptly went still in his arms. Qui-Gon clutched at him.
"Obi-Wan? Padawan, answer me. Look at me. Obi-Wan!"
It was no use. He was insensate once more. Qui-Gon closed his own eyes, opening them again only when he heard footsteps approaching.
"We need to take him back to Coruscant." he told the doctor flatly.
"Master Jinn, we have told you that hyperspace travel could worsen..."
"We have no choice. You cannot help him. Perhaps the Temple healers can. I must try."
Anakin was playing with a servo motor when he heard a soft rustling from the bed and turned to see the blankets move fractionally. Not sure if he should find the older jedi or not, he decided to wait until he was sure that Obi-Wan was not just turning over in his sleep. Standing up, he tiptoed over to the bed and peered down to find piercing blue-green eyes looking back at him.
"M-master Obi-Wan, sir?" he squeaked. "Are you okay?"
Those eyes blinked twice, then a crease formed in that smooth forehead.
"Anakin?"
"Yes sir?"
"I forgot you were ever so young."
The words were faint, and Anakin was not sure he had heard correctly. It made no sense to him, if he had.
"Um, can I get you anything, sir?"
The eyes closed.
"I just want it to stop."
"Sir?"
"Never mind. I'm just so sorry Anakin. If I knew how to fix everything, I would. I know that's not enough, but it's all I can say. I would give anything for a chance to fix all of this. Anything at all. But I have nothing left to give except my apology, which isn't enough." He sighed. "I'm so tired, and..."
Anakin waited, expecting to hear more, but nothing more came. Watching the blankets rise and fall softly as Obi-Wan breathed, he realised that the ill padawan had fallen asleep again. He frowned. He did not like Obi-Wan very much after what the padawan had said about him, but he knew that Obi-Wan had saved Qui-Gon's life, and then had become very sick. After a moment, he shrugged and sat back down on the floor. When Qui-Gon came back, he would tell him that Obi-Wan had woken up, but it could wait until then.
Qui-Gon watched through the pane of mirror glass, feeling helpless. On the other side, Obi-Wan had huddled in a corner, begging the two visionaries to keep their distance. He had been incoherent since they disembarked at the Temple, struggling to escape to the point where he had to be physically restrained on the healer's guerney. They had concurred that the problem was either mental or caused by a vision sequence, but could not determine which.
A mind healer had been brought in but had been unable to penetrate Obi-Wan's shields which had suddenly gained a density he should not be capable of. Regretfully announcing that he could do nothing without Obi-Wan's co-operation, the healer had retreated and the two visionaries had been brought in. Yet they had been no more successful and now they too left the room. Left alone, Obi-Wan buried his face in his knees, trembling visibly, and Qui-Gon ached to go to him. He even took a step towards the door, but then someone else entered the room. Qui-Gon paused, holding his breath. Would this work where nothing else had? The short figure shuffled over to where Obi-Wan sat, then hunched down and sat quietly for a moment.
"Recognise me, you do?" he asked finally.
Obi-Wan's trembling had ceased, but he did not raise his head as he responded.
"Master Yoda." he said dully, the words muffled.
"Distressed, you are." Yoda observed, stating the obvious. "Explain this you will."
There was a long silence, but Yoda simply waited, and after nearly five agonisingly long minutes, Obi-Wan made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and raised his head.
"I think I've finally gone completely crazy." he said in a brittle voice. "After all this time... after everything... I think it's finally just too much." He laughed, then sobbed again, his breath hitching. "I don't even know where I am. I don't know what this is. Why can't I just die? I just want it all to stop!"
"No! Obi-Wan don't say that!" Qui-Gon cried out involuntarily, pacing closer to the glass.
"Easy." Mace cautioned him. "He can't hear you, remember?"
Qui-Gon shook his head, staring as Obi-Wan scrubbed at his face.
"What's happening to him, Mace?"
"We'll find out." the Councillor promised grimly. "Yoda's already got him talking - that's a start."
Qui-Gon tore his gaze away from the glass to stare at the other master.
"Did I do this? I know he's always been insecure, but this... I never saw this... but then I never saw Xan turn either..."
Mace met his gaze evenly.
"If you have, then it will be your own fault. But if you want my opinion, I don't believe that's it. He's insecure, yes, but not unstable. There is something more happening here."
"I'll give Ani up." Qui-Gon swore. "Another master can teach him. I can't let Obi-Wan suffer like this."
Back in the treatment room, Obi-Wan had calmed down again after Yoda had made some comment that Qui-Gon had missed, and now the padawan let his head drop back against the wall, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.
"But I am dead." he said quietly. "Vader killed me. I had to let him, to give Luke the time to escape."
"Who is this Vader? A pirate perhaps, hmm?"
"Darth Vader." Obi-Wan whispered, closing his eyes. "That was his title, after... After."
Yoda's ears rose up.
"A sith, you say?" he asked curiously.
Obi-Wan's head snapped forward, his eyes open and his gaze piercing.
"Not a sith." he snapped. "He was accepted by the Light in the end. He never fully turned. I should have tried harder to turn him back when I had the chance. I shouldn't've been so blind. I know it was my fault."
"But dark he was?" Yoda persisted, seemingly unperturbed.
Tears welled in Obi-Wan's eyes.
"I... I don't know... He became dark, but it... it shouldn't have happened. None of it should have happened. But it did. It did happen. And now this, all this," he gestured around himself, "it's all gone, and the jedi are all dead, and there's only Luke, but I couldn't do enough to help him. I couldn't teach him enough. And I sent him to you too late. But now I keep being tormented by these visions of people and places that are gone. They're all gone. You're all gone. It's just me, not dead and not alive, and I can't bear it anymore. I just want to rest. Dear Force, please let me rest."
to be continued.
