Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own the lyrics to 'Danger, Keep Away' by Slipknot either.
A/N: Ok, I don't know why but for some reason, I love the idea of Mohinder and Sylar. There's just something about that it that's undeniably sexy to me so I finally decided to write one. I don't really know where I'm going with this so I'm just going to wing it and hope that turns out. This is also my first ever slash fic, so please be gentle. I'm used to writing straight pairings.
Summary: Mohinder thought he loved Zane. Zane turned out to be the monster that he had been hunting. Now faced with confusion and guilt, Mohinder reflects on the turn of events. But what happens when Sylar comes back?
Beautiful Demon
This was wrong.
All of it was wrong.
That was not a fact that Mohinder Suresh was going to forget anytime soon, if ever. For the last three days he had been living in a permanent state of confusion and guilt that left circles around his head. It was bad enough that he had loved another man, but it was even worse that the man he had loved had turned out to be a dangerous monster bent on destroying the world.
He ran his hand through his sable hair, his bloodshot eyes trying to make sense of the text in front of him with very little luck. Every time he thought that he had a suitable distraction, Zane would pop into his head again.
No, not Zane. He told himself for what seemed like the millionth time. I never knew Zane. Slamming the book in frustration he stood up and started making himself a pot of tea, wishing that there was something that could just temporarily shut off his brain. Lies, all of it. He mused. There was never a word of truth exchanged between us.
We too feel alone
The tea was hot, but not as comforting as he had hoped. He could still remember exactly how everything had happened even though it had never been his intent for things to play out as they had. He certainly hadn't expected to be in a relationship with a man. He tried to tell himself that it was because of Eden's death that he was so open to the idea but he hadn't quite convinced himself of it yet.
Closing his eyes and sighing, he unwillingly let himself remember.
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
It wasn't his intention. It was never his intention to let on that he noticed Zane's more then friendly looks, or the way that he would accidentally-on-purpose brush him lightly with his hand in what appeared to be a casual gesture. It certainly wasn't his intention to let on that in some dark part of him, he liked it.
He could still remember the night when he was studying the map into all hours of the night as he frequently did, tracking new people and trying to find some kind of discernible pattern. He was beginning to think that there wasn't one to be found.
"Mohinder?" He turned around facing Zane who was walking into the room, looking tired. "What are you still doing up?"
"Studying." He replied, turning back to his work. "What else would I be doing?"
"Good question." Zane replied, coming up behind him and using his shoulder as a support as he gazed over the map, mentally memorizing it, but of course Mohinder didn't know that. He was currently distracted by the close contact that Zane was in at the moment. He could feel Zane's chest pressed against his back, feel the warmth it radiated. He caught his breath. Zane noticed.
He slowly slid his hand over his shoulder, reveling in the slight quivering he could feel within the smaller man's body.
"You know……..you really should get some sleep." He said, letting his hand slide down Mohinder's tan neck at a temptingly slow pace. "Unless you can think of something better to do?" He wanted to say something but couldn't. He was frozen by the feeling that Zane was suddenly invoking in him. Zane chuckled a little bit before cupping his hand under Mohinder's neck and tilting his head upwards, capturing his mouth in a kiss.
Mohinder's eyes widened, startled. He wanted to fight back but for some reason he really didn't want an explanation to, found himself kissing back. A little rumble emerged from his throat as Zane's tongue invaded his mouth, sending something close to electricity through him. Air, unfortunately was a requirement and they broke away, panting slightly. Mohinder stood up and backed away a little bit, as if afraid of himself.
"Zane, I really shouldn't have…" A thousand excuses ran through his head but in the end they all meant nothing as Zane once again kissed him, forcefully pushing him against the wall earning him a small groan from the darker male. Zane's hands gripped his slender hips as their tongues continued dueling, fighting for control.
Zane broke away from his mouth and attacked his neck, sending red-hot sparks through the elder male. Against his will he found himself surrendering to this new feeling, this new desire that seemed to come from nowhere.
"God…" He didn't know why he said it. Maybe as a way of expressing his pleasure as Zane ran his hands downs his chest, or maybe as a plea for forgiveness for what he was doing. His shirt came off and he was again driven forcefully into the wall, feeling the coldness on his back.
Zane nipped possessively at his neck, making him suck in his breath as he surrendered himself to Zane as the more dominate lover. He seemed more experienced anyway. His mind seemed to shut off and all he knew was hands, lips, tongues and the sound of his own breathing. Part of his mind screamed that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be doing this. The other part was high, as if he was on some kind of beautiful drug trip and Zane was the only dealer he knew.
He didn't know how it happened but suddenly he was laying down on his bed, Zane above him. That was his first night ever being with another man. But it wasn't his last.
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
Mohinder opened his eyes and stared at the tea in front of him. It should have ended there, he told himself as guilt and a little shame washed over him. If only I had let it end there…… but of course, he hadn't. From that point forward his relationship with Zane was formed. They spent the days studying and discovering more about Zane's abilities, and they spent the nights in bed where Mohinder learned quite a few things he never thought he would. The most horrifying being that he enjoyed it, maybe even loved it, and certainly found gratification in it.
There ever been all the time
Lost enslaved fatal decline
I was stupid………. He thought, I was so stupid…No-one knew, which was a good thing to him. Truth was, he was a little ashamed of it but most of all he was afraid of it. Afraid of the way people would look at him if he knew.
He shook his head, remembering the feeling inside of him when he discovered the truth - that half terrified, half sick feeling that was invoked in him. In fact, he had to suppress the strong urge to vomit as everything washed over him, making him cold. Zane wasn't Zane - Zane was Sylar.
I've been waiting for this too fool (Good)
The pieces are only as good as the whole
"You……" He said, backing away from the man who had somehow become his lover. "You're not Zane……Sylar." Sylar grinned then, something horrible and predatory that reminded him of a cat staring down a mouse.
"You're not stupid, Mohinder, I'll give you that." He said and Mohinder noticed the changes in speech and attitude, discovering against his will what his lover truly was. "Took you a lot less time to figure it then I thought it would. I figured I would have had another three days at least." He was advancing now, making Mohinder back away in fear and shock. His mind reeled in a thousand different directions at once, nearly making him dizzy.
"Get the hell away from me." He hissed, eyes darting around for some means of escape even though he knew that he was - in plain English - fucked. If Sylar wanted to come near him, he would. If he wanted to tear Mohinder into bits, he would and there was nothing that Mohinder could do to save himself.
"Don't think so." He replied, and Mohinder felt himself backing up against that oh-so-familiar wall. In a flash he grabbed Mohinder and threw him down onto a desk, his back hitting painfully against the wood. He leaned down and forcefully kissed his lover, displaying more force then he had ever in the past so as no to raise suspicion, but seeing as the cat was out of the bag, such precautions were no longer needed.
Mohinder struggled but was easily overpowered by Sylar, who held him down with his body.
"I wasn't lying when I said I liked you." He said, grinning like the cat who had just devoured the canary.
Severed with self from my all a lie
Cut out the only thing that was right
"Go to hell." Mohinder spat, trying to conceal his fear and failing miserably. Sylar just chuckled, something dark and sexual as he bit Mohinder's tan neck harder then usual and leaving little teeth marks. "Stop!" He continued to struggle but only succeeded in further arousing the other male.
"Come on, Mohinder." He said teasingly. "Stop fighting. You know how this one ends." His mouth again came down, crushing him, devouring him, scaring him and arousing him all at once. Sylar pulled away and grinned before backing away and making a gesture with his hand that sent Mohinder upwards, plastering him to the ceiling. "I always did wonder what would happen if I did that." Mohinder couldn't reply and could barely choke down the terror that was gripping him. In fact, he was certain that he was going to die.
And then, the most amazing thing happened. Peter Petrelli walked in like some glowing angelic savior. He couldn't see too much, what with the being glued to a ceiling but he knew they were fighting. Peter was perhaps the only person who could even oppose Sylar and have the barest change of coming out with his brain intact.
At some point the power that was holding him in midair broke and he went plummeting to the ground, which suddenly seemed a very long way down. He hit the ground with a heavy thud and turned to see Peter fade from view. Glass shards raised and flew in every direction. Mohinder ducked behind his desk, listening to the sound of the glass shards hit the wood which could have just as easily been his flesh.
Terrified he ran out from behind his wooden shelter to see glass piercing the body of Peter, blood trailing down his body. His gaze then turned to Sylar who had once been the man that he had cared for, Zane. But not a trace of Zane remained now, none of the gentle nature that he had previously had. That was buried now - buried deep within Sylar.
He said nothing, just grinned evilly before walking towards him. Mohinder tried to run but his feet were nailed to the floor, leaving him helpless as Sylar again possessed his mouth, plunging his tongue deep into it. They remained that way for a moment - Sylar in glorified dominance, Mohinder in terrified bliss. He broke away and then brought his lips to the elder man's ear, his lips barely brushing the skin.
"Bye." And he was gone. Sylar was gone, Zane never existed and Peter was laying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, glass sticking out of him grotesquely in a variety of different angles. He never did Sylar again after that.
What If I never saw you again
I'd die right next to you in the end
The ringing of a phone jolted him from his memories and he scrambled to answer it.
"Hello?" He waited for a moment, listening to the silence on the other end before there was a reply, the all too familiar voice of Sylar coming over the line as clearly as if he was standing next to him.
"I'm going to kill hundreds of people." He said, his voice cold and low. "I can't understand why I would do it. It doesn't benefit me at all. I don't gain anything from it." For a moment Mohinder couldn't think, couldn't even breathe. An internal struggle raged within him. He wanted to help to Sylar despite their history, to maybe prevent whatever was going to happen. He also wanted to hang up, run away and pretend that this phone call never happened.
"Do you want me to come over?" The words left his mouth before he could form them.
"No." Was the cold reply, and then something human. "Forget I called." The line went dead, the phone lifeless in his shaking hands. Shaking his head and trying to collect his thoughts he placed the phone back on the receiver. He was confused, he was scared and he was completely unsure of himself. All qualities that weren't normal for him, but then again, when did Sylar ever invoke something normal in him? No time that he could ever remember.
He wanted to call the number back, but Sylar had been clever in using a code to block it. Sighing he sunk back into his chair, went back to staring at his map. He wished he wasn't so alone and yet he was glad at the same time. Better to be alone then to have a psycho running around in your house. He rubbed his eyes which were slowly starting to droop. Fighting to stay awake he decided that maybe it was finally time to turn in for the night.
He wasn't exactly going to come across any amazing revelations if he was this tired anyway. Stripping off his shirt he threw it into a corner of his bedroom where it lay forgotten. As he laid down and closed his eyes he prayed that, somewhere deep inside him he would be able to forgive himself for his mistakes.
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
Sylar.
He hung up the phone of his mother's apartment as she lay dead on the floor, blood surrounding her. He was currently feeling a combination of feelings - confusion, doubt and longing. He hadn't really wanted answers to why he would kill hundreds of people and he knew damn well that even if he had, Mohinder wouldn't have been the one with the answers. No, he knew that he had just wanted to hear his voice, as pathetic as it made him.
Standing up and wrapping his coat around himself he walked out of the apartment and into the street. The weather was cold but he didn't mind it. He watched people on the street with the air of confusion and resentment. He could still remember the days in which he had watched them with envy, wanting to be like them, to be accepted.
He watched the boys with their slutty girlfriends and somewhere in his body had the strong desire to crush them like the fragile flowers they were. He had never liked girls too much - to him they represented lies, deceit and pain. They were creatures who used their sexuality as weapons of manipulation and he wanted no part of them.
His feet were wondering. He wasn't sure where they were going, he just let them go where they will. Questions weighed on his mind and he hated these moments. Moments when he questioned himself and what he was doing, moments when his perfect plans didn't seem all that perfect, moments when he felt the grip of the isolation that had made him hate everyone and made him into the monster he was. In short, moments he wished he could just make disappear.
That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine
His feet stopped and he found himself staring at Mohinder's apartment. A bitter smile crossed his features as he thought of the beautiful and exotic man that resided there. He was gorgeous, there was no doubt about it. Dark hair and skin, smoldering eyes and damn he had a smile that could make a girl melt.
That was why he had killed Eden in the first place. He didn't like her interfering, didn't like the fact that Mohinder was paying attention to a female, much less one that was so weak. She had been stupid, thinking that she could kill him with a simple human weapon. No, poor little Eden was forced to turn the gun on herself. He could still remember the deer-in-headlights look that came across her face the instant before he forced her to pull the trigger, efficiently ending her life.
His mind wondered as he stared at the window that he knew lead to Mohinder and his irresistibly warm flesh. Making his decision he walked towards the building. He reached the door which was predictably locked but easily took care of that with a mere thought. Listening to the lock click he pushed open the door and walked inside the familiar apartment.
I wouldn't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say
Mohinder
The moment his eyes opened he knew he wasn't alone. There was nothing to give it away except the oppressing silence and the feeling of dread within his body. It was dark, too dark to see but his eyes still darted around wildly. With the swiftness of an assassin Sylar cupped his hand over Mohinder's mouth, making him instantly struggle and try to scream.
"Sssshh." He said, his lips brushing his ear. Despite himself, Mohinder relaxed a little in the knowledge that whoever was stalking him wasn't a stranger. He closed his eyes as he felt lips against his face, hands in his hair, Sylar's chest pressed against his back.
"Sylar…." He said, well more like moaned as the man attacked his neck, slowly lowering him down onto the bed. "What are you doing here?"
Without hearing what I have to say
"I don't know." He replied honestly, the words coming out as a mumble against the bronzed skin of his lover. "I think I'm crazy." His hands slid over his chest, invoking the all too familiar feelings of arousal as Sylar removed his own shirt enabling bare skin to make contact.
Mohinder groaned against the feeling of Sylar's fiery skin, reveling in the feeling. Some part of him wanted to protest but it was quickly snuffed by the desire coursing through his lithe body.
"You know……. you're still my enemy." The words came out as pants as Sylar assaulted his body, driving him deeper into the sheets.
"I don't want to be." He mumbled, nipping at the elder man's chest. "But I know that it won't change." Mohinder fought to find some kind of response but his mind was being overridden with sheer ecstasy as he writhed, fighting with everything he had to find some way to resist his lover. It wasn't working.
And as Sylar again claimed his body he found something within himself. Some kind of self knowledge that he couldn't quite explain as he lay there shaking in post-orgasmic shock. Sylar stared down at him, stroking his sweat-drenched hair and placing light kisses on his neck.
"You know, I really did miss you." He muttered, making Mohinder grin slyly.
"For any particular reason?" He knew he was being coy and it sort of amused him.
"Not really." Mohinder knew he was lying and that was why he laughed. As much as they both hated it, they loved each other on some fucked-up level. And as Mohinder rolled into Sylar, using him as a brace and smiling as he felt him drape his arm over him, he tried not to think about the dreaded moment when sunlight would again enter the room and his lover would once again become his beautiful demon.
Without hearing what I have to say
A/N:
Well, there we go! My first slash in my entire writing career! I know it could probably use some work, but it wasn't bad for a first shot. Anyways, feedback would be greatly appreciated seeing as this is kinda a new thing for me! And (shameless self promo here) but if you want, you can also check out my other Heroes fic called Unnatural Fire which is a Mohinder/OC pairing. Thanks!
