AUTHOR'S NOTE: Warning, this may be the most bizarre fanfic you've ever read. Or not, but it's still weird, regardless. I know not my best work, but what can I say? This is what comes of boredom and much too much time on your hands. Lol, got the idea when my brother misinterpreted the epilogue of Eclipse. It's pretty stupid, but hopefully someone will find it humorous. :D
When A Girl Imprints
"Really, kid." She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. "You have no idea how hard this is for me."
"For you?" It took me a minute to believe she was serious. "You have to be the most self-absorbed person alive, Leah. I'd hate to shatter the dream world you live in - the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand - so I won't tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away."
"Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay?" she continued as if I hadn't said anything.
If she was trying to break my mood, it worked. I started laughing. The sound hurt in strange ways.
"Stop snorting and pay attention." she snapped.
"If I pretend to listen, will you leave?" I asked, glancing over at the permanent scowl on her face. I wasn't sure she had any other expressions anymore.
I rembered back when I used to think Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long time ago. No one thought of her that way now. Except for Sam. He was never going to forgive himself. Like it was his fault she'd turned into this bitter harpy.
Her scowl heated up, as if she could guess what I was thinking. Probably could.
"This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don't even like Bella Swan. And you've got me grieving over this leech-lover like I'm in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the h*** am I supposed to do with that?"
-Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse.
Bella's POV
I couldn't help myself. I felt bad for bothering Seth again, but I had to know if there was any news on Jacob. I picked up the phone and dialed the Clearwater's number. As it rang, I wondered if Leah would answer; I hoped not. She'd been acting so strange lately...too nice, much too nice. I wondered if she had some sort of trick up her sleeve. What else could be her problem?
"Hello?" Seth's husky voice interupted my thoughts.
"Hi, Seth." I greeted him pleasantly.
"Oh, hey, Bella. Let me guess. You want to know how Jacob's doing?"
I bit my lip. "Yeah. Sorry, Seth."
"It's fine, Bella. He hasn't come back yet, though..."
I bit my lip harder until I tasted blood. I should've been expecting that, but I couldn't help myself from letting it hurt me.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I had better news for you."
"That's all right, Seth." I lied. "Thanks."
"'Course, no problem."
We bid each other good-bye and hung up.
Edward came up behind me. He must have entered the house without my noticing.
"Any news on Jacob?" he wondered anxiously.
I shook my head, fighting tears. Edward comforted me. After I'd calmed down a bit, he whispered in my ear:
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Alice needs you. She wants to check how the dress fits or something."
I laughed. "Let's go, then. We wouldn't want to keep her waiting, would we?"
"No, I suppose not." he chuckled along with me. We both knew about as far as Alice's patience reached when it came to "such important matters."
We walked outside to the Volvo. As we zoomed through the town at a too-fast speed, that I was accustomed to, I could've sworn I saw a flash of gray in the woods. Leah's fur was gray...No, it couldn't be. I could not figure out what was up with her. I was always running into her and she was always so animated and friendly in a way that I'd never known her to be. Maybe she had finally found someone that she loved as much as she had loved Sam. I hoped that was the case. Even though her friendly side sort of scared me, I was glad that she could be happy with someone else. However, whenever I asked Edward if that was it, he refused to answer, giving me only a chuckle in reply.
"What are you thinking about?" he wondered.
He must not understand the expression on my face. Usually he could tell my thoughts by just looking at my face.
"Nothing." I replied too quickly.
He sighed in annoyance, but he let it go.
* * *
The next day I called the Clearwater's house for another update and, to my unluckiness, Leah answered.
"Hi, Bella." she chirped in a voice that I didn't recognize as Leah's.
"Oh, uh, hi, Leah." I stuttered. "Is Seth there?" I wondered.
"Nope, actually he's not. Is there something I can help you with?"
"Well, I really don't want to both-"
"It's no bother." she insisted.
"Oh, um, okay." I said, taken aback. "Could you tell me how Jake is?"
She informed me cheerily that Jake wasn't back yet and probably wouldn't be for awhile - though I couldn't quite figure out what made this so happy...
"Well, thanks Leah." I said sincerely.
"Anything else you need?" she wondered in an especially odd tone.
"No, I don't think s-"
"Y'know I can hang out if you want. I'm free most of the time."
I found myself extremely confused. Where did that come from?
"Oh, uh, yeah I'll keep that in mind." I said.
"Okay."
"Well, bye Leah."
"Bye, Bells."
Bells?????
* * *
To my surprise, when I called the next day, Seth informed me that Jacob had returned. My heart leapt with joy. I wondered if he would mind if I visited him. I called his house and when he picked up, he sounded weary, but he agreed. I went to my new, conspicuous vehicle and sped off to La Push.
Somehow, when we met, things fell into place and it felt almost like it used to. We laughed together and we walked along the shore of First Beach. However, I kept looking around, feeling that I was being watched.
"What's wrong?" Jake finally asked.
"I don't know...it feels like we're being watched or something."
"Uh-oh." he muttered under his breath.
"What?" I asked in confusion.
"Never mind." he blew it off.
"No, you said uh-oh. What is that supposed to mean?"
He rolled his eyes, but gave in, knowing that I wouldn't let it go.
"It's Leah." he muttered quietly.
My brow furrowed in confusion.
"What's up with her lately, anyway?" I wondered. "She always seems so happy. I've never seen her this way. Did she imprint or something?"
"Yeah, she imprinted." he said, but I could see there was more behind the words than he was saying.
"On who?" I wanted to know.
He just shook his head.
"Why don't we go ride our bikes?" he suggested.
Still completely confused, I walked back up to his house to get the motorcycles.
* * *
Every day that I went up to Jacob's house anymore, for whatever reason, Leah was always there. I wondered if she had imprinted on Jacob. What other reason could there be for her always being there. Besides, I never saw her hanging out with any other guys. One day when Jake and I were out riding bikes (and for once away from Leah) I asked him.
"Jake?" I wondered hesitantly.
"Hmm?"
"Did Leah...imprint on you?"
"On me?" he asked, before he burst out laughing. "No." he replied between his roaring.
"Then who did she imprint on? I'm so confused. Everyone knows what's going on but me!" I shouted in frustration.
He simply stared at me with amused eyes. Suddenly, everything clicked into place, like one gear shifted in my head and now everything made sense.
"Oh no, not..." I said disbelieving. My unasked question hung in the air. I waited for Jake to disprove me. He only stood there quietly shaking with laughter.
