Title: It's a Date
Author: Lia (unshakespearean) and Aurora (Aurora Sanders)
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: [Jack, Gwen] [Tosh, Owen], Ianto, mentions of Rhys
Rating: T
Warnings: Swearing
Notes: Inspired by this prompt by likehemmins on Tumblr:
"imagine that you've been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you're ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping that he's just late. people are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation but as you decide to just get up and leave, this boy you've never seen sits down explaining loudly "sorry i'm so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now." and he quietly adds, "i'm Michael. just go with it, yeah? whoever didn't bother to show up is a dick." and so you do go with it because he's being sweet and trying to save you (and plus he's the cutest thing you've ever seen) and as you're leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time."


Chapter One

Gwen sighed as she checked her watch for the billionth time. Rhys was admittedly pretty notorious for lateness, but this was a little out of the ordinary. He had said he'd be there at six, and it was already half past seven. People who had arrived after her were paying their bills and leaving.

Rhys hadn't replied to her last two texts, which was so typical for him. It always seemed like he wouldn't reply unless he had a compelling reason to, which usually meant him complaining about his work or drunk-texting her after a night with the lads. She'd proposed this date as a way to fix their relationship (not something she'd said, but she thought it was pretty obvious). And it was becoming obvious that Rhys didn't even want to try.

"Sorry I'm so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now," A man with an American accent declared, sitting down across from her. Gwen was about to ask Are you crazy? when she noticed that the people at the other tables had finally stopped staring at her.

"Harkness. Captain Jack Harkness. Just go with it, yeah? Whoever didn't bother to show up is a dick."

"Oh, you've met him?" Gwen muttered under her breath. "Anyway… hi… I'm Gwen. Gwen Cooper." She finally took a sip of the water she'd wanted all day and ignored all night - both caused by the stress leading up to and during this "date."

"Nice to meet you, Gwen Cooper," he said with a grin, a sort of cheeky smirk that made her blush. God, he was cute. Really cute. And American. "Now. I think it's high time we ate. I'm starving."

This is bloody insane, she thought to herself. But she was rather compelled. He had saved her, after all, and was being very sweet - and there was the whole almost-unrealistically cute business.

"Okay, fine," she said.

Jack smiled, and raised his water-glass. "Cheers."

"I do not owe you!" A very loud voice from the bar got everyone to turn their heads. "Owen, I don't owe you a thing!"

"Yes you do, Tosh! You absolutely-Ianto, tell me that was under two minutes. Come on. That had to be."

The one who wasn't saying anything - Ianto - pulled a stopwatch out from seemingly nowhere. "Sorry," he said.

(Finally, someone who's actually Welsh, Gwen thought to herself. She hadn't known when she picked this pub that it was the place all the tourists liked to visit.)

"To who?" asked the other guy - Owen.

"To whom," the woman - Tosh - corrected.

"Bloody hell, not now," Owen muttered.

"Two minutes and nine seconds," Ianto interrupted. Owen groaned as he handed over the money, and Tosh cheered.

"What the hell are they doing?" Gwen mused.

"Ignore them," Jack said firmly. "They're clearly just a bunch of clowns."

"You got that right," Ianto called back.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jack muttered.

Gwen wasn't sure whether she was more confused or amused. "What, do you know them?" she asked.

"Yes," Jack admitted. "And they weren't supposed to do that-I was gonna give you all promotions!" he shouted at them.

The three of them looked at each other in stock silence. "Ianto's fault," Tosh said very solemnly.

"Who are they, then?" Gwen asked, drawing Jack's attention back to her. "Who's the one in the suit? The only other Welsh person in this pub."

Jack laughed. "You would not believe how many times someone says something along those lines," he said. "Anyway, that's Ianto… my… wingman…"

Gwen grinned. "Alright, who's the other bloke?"

"Owen… my… other… wingman…"

"Right, and the girl?" This was getting more amusing by the second.

"Tosh… my… wing…woman?"

Gwen laughed. "Wow, you're high-maintenance."

"Oooooooh!" Owen shouted.

"Shut up!" Jack shouted. "Okay, fine, they're my coworkers, and they-well, mainly Ianto but the others are more than happy to assist... Tosh and Owen would do anything to go out together and not have it really be a date-"

"-I resent that!" Owen yelled out, clearly very drunk.

"Why aren't you two a couple yet?" Ianto asked him.

"I dunno. Tosh, why aren't we a couple yet?" Owen asked, facing the woman.

Tosh shrugged, a bright blush coming to her cheeks. "Um…"

"Let's fix that," the drunk Owen suggested, grabbing Tosh and kissing her.

"Um. Anyway." Jack mumbled, clearing his throat. "As I was saying. Coworkers."

"Can I work where you work?" Gwen laughed. "Sounds fun."

"Why, you want to kiss me?" Jack asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"I—" Gwen stuttered, looking down at her hands and probably blushing just as much as Tosh had. "Well, you don't seem like the type of person to stand someone up for an hour and a half."

"An hour and a half?" Jack demanded. "Is that normal for him?"

"Um, it's sort of...gotten worse over time," Gwen answered, not realizing the truth until she said it. "He's always been a bit late…"

"But he keeps on pushing your boundaries, because he can get away with it." Jack shook his head. "Typical. Anyway. Where do you work that makes this dysfunctional foursome seem like a better option?"

"I'm on the police," said Gwen. "Just got promoted, actually. Police Constable Gwen Cooper, at your service." He's not the only one who can flirt, she told herself firmly.

Jack laughed. "Is that supposed to make you sound impressive?"

"Maybe, yeah," Gwen retorted playfully. "Anyway, I love it, but you four seem like good friends. That is, when you're not making bets on each other… Why does he carry around a stopwatch, anyway? Does he get off on timing things, or-?"

"Think carefully before you answer that, sir," Ianto called. "Or else I won't be making the thirty-minute trip to get more coffee."

Jack gulped. "It's… it's very useful for the things we do. Whether he needs to carry it around everywhere he goes… is… something he can decide for himself."

"And you're the boss?" Gwen asked. "That whole 'Captain' business, is it serious, or were you trying to look impressive?"

"For all intents and purposes, I am the boss, and since we're just the four of us and there aren't any higher-ups to answer too, I can call myself 'Captain' if I want."

"Yeah, and it looks like your fancy title's a bit of a joke to those three," Gwen pointed out, still giggling. "Makes sense, wearing that getup." She motioned to the long coat he had hung over the back of the seat, and then to the suspenders.

"Oi!" Jack protested. He pouted the single most adorable pout known to the planet for just a split second before regaining the smirk. "You're just saying that to avoid admitting that it looks good as all hell."

It did, but Gwen didn't want to admit that — she liked the easy flirtation between the two of them. "Well, Captain, maybe you just need someone to help you improve your fashion sense."

"In the words of our wise drunk friend Owen, I resent that." Jack laughed, and it didn't even seem forced that he was referring to the group as Gwen's friends, too. They felt more like friends than "the lads" ever had.

Feeling daring, Gwen reached over and adjusted the collar on Jack's shirt. "It was turned in," she told him, smiling.

"Maybe you would be a good fashion consultant… PC Gwen Cooper, was it?" Jack laughed.

"He is a bit less fashion-savvy than would be expected of someone of his sexual orientation," Owen smirked from across the room.

Of course. The moment Gwen Cooper found a nice, friendly guy who seemed to express some kind of interest in her, he was gay, and it was completely platonic. "Oh…" she muttered.

"What? What's wrong?" Jack asked in concern.

"It's just...this isn't a date. Not that it was," she rushed to explain herself, "but it couldn't even be a fake date, because you could never be interested in… me."

"What?" Jack demanded. "Oh, what Owen said? No, I'm omnisexual. Bisexual, in more common terms."

Gwen should not have been feeling as happy as she was feeling. "Oh!" she answered brightly. "Me too, actually." She'd never "come out" to anyone, really, except for Andy, who'd taken it as a sign that she was the kind of person who would be interested in a threesome. And she certainly didn't want to come out to Rhys — things were complicated enough already without throwing sexual orientation into the mix.

"Well, then you'd fit right in at my job," Jack winked.

"Oh?" Gwen asked.

"Oh yeah," said Jack. "None of them are straight. Even Owen, although it wouldn't be glaringly obvious from the way he was attacking Toshiko earlier."

"I am straight!" Owen shouted.

"I can prove otherwise," Ianto piped up.

"Don't you dare," Owen growled.

"Aaaaaanyway," Jack said, turning back to Gwen, who was at this point in stitches, "you seem to fit in well… care to join us?"

"What is your job, anyway? You've told me nothing."

Jack smiled. "Maybe you'll just have to come by and see. Tomorrow, perhaps?"

"Uh...well...actually, I was supposed to be visiting my boyfriend's family. His cousin is having a wedding. And he...keeps on making hints about...you know...popping the question." Gwen gulped.

"What?" Jack's wrists were clutched tight to the table. "You'd marry him? I've only seen what he's put you through tonight, and I'm sure that's not the half of it."

"Well, no one else will have me," Gwen shrugged helplessly.

"PC Gwen Cooper, from just tonight, I can tell that's not true. Any man would be lucky to have you, and this boyfriend of yours doesn't appreciate what he has. What do you say you be the one to bail out on him for once? Ditch the wedding, and come meet me and my friends properly on work hours. Ianto won't be quite as likely to make comments like the ones he has made tonight, and Owen won't be kissing anyone — probably."

Gwen laughed, covering up her teeth, which she'd always been self-conscious of, with her hands. "I can't do that, though."

"Listen, I'm not going to force you to do anything, because that's not the kind of person I am, but I really think this situation is unhealthy." Jack told Gwen in a quiet voice.

Gwen sighed. "You're right, I suppose. So, tomorrow?"

"It's a date," Jack told her with a wink.


Hi guys! Thanks for reading. This was supposed to be a one shot but Lia and I are making it a multi-chap because we love it too much. Anyone want to guess the Easter egg from season 2 of Torchwood? ;) - Aurora (Aurora Sanders on FF)

Hey guys! Lia here! Thanks for reading! There is more coming, I promise! We just had way too much fun with this so we had to keep going. Thank you to likehemmins on Tumblr for the prompt! See y'alls soon! *Insert long signoff because I'm too lazy/too excited to write chapter 2 to write the thing* - Lia xxx