Author's Note: It's just a random thought of how I envision Dudley's take on eating, prompted by me having to watch someone eat exactly like this, for the last 10 years.
Disclaimer- I own nothing but my ideas. J. K. Rowling owns the rest.
It was like practice for him. A workout. Maybe like a pre-game stretch. That was what eating was, for Dudley. Or, pre-eating really. He did it all the time. Hardly without food for more than an hour, Dudley had a system.
In the morning, he would put toast in the toaster, and water in the tea kettle. The makings of his Breakfast. And while waiting for those to be done, he would fish around the cupboards and the fridge, eating anything that did not have to be cooked, heated, or put together before consumption. This was, in his mind, like a workout before a wrestling match. And, Coach was always saying 'warm up your muscles before you exert yourself'. Well, why shouldn't the muscles used in digestion have a proper workout as well?
Next, he would eat his breakfast, wolfing it down like it was a competition. Eating it like it was his job. And in his mind, it was. This was the game to him. The match. The crowning moment when he worked to put away his opposition, and realized that he didn't really need to work in the first place. Guaranteeing his win. It was his victory.
After the main meal was over, he would sit around for a bit and feel good about himself. He had won. He was a champion. And of course, like any win, it deserved to be celebrated. So, he would heave himself up and find something to eat in celebration. The elation he felt helping to mask the protesting of his stomach as it began to stretch out of proportion again. When finished, he would sit about, gloating to himself. Remembering his victory, and becoming tired from his gratuitous celebratory eating.
He was a champion. A force of nature. With his system, he was unbeatable. No one could hope to best him at his eating game. And he enjoyed every second of it.
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