Hello! I haven't written in a long while so I may be a bit rusty but I hope you enjoy this one-shot. It is set sometime after S14. For the purposes of this story, Emily is a little younger than she is in the show. Also, I don't have a beta reader so I apologize for any mistakes I have missed.
JJ sighed as she glanced over her desk, case reports and various other paperwork had been multiplying by the hour and now her once tidy workspace had become a warzone. Though she was soon distracted by the arrival of the BAU's very own unit chief in the bullpen. Emily quickly made her way across the room and was tackling the stairs when she heard a familiar voice.
"Emily, what are you still doing here? Don't you have to be somewhere soon?"
Emily looked at her watch and grimaced, the prenatal class that she had promised Andrew that they would attend together was in less than an hour.
"Look I don't think I am going to make it."
The brunette was secretly glad that the director had just dumped a mountain of work on her, she was not too keen about spending the afternoon with a bunch of overly friendly and enthusiastic parents-to-be. From the moment, she had found out she was pregnant Emily had fallen in love with the idea of being a parent to the life growing inside of her. After years of an unrelenting career and various unsuccessful relationships, Emily truly felt it was a miracle that she was going to get the chance to be a mother and she had found the perfect man to share this journey with. However, while she wouldn't dare admit it to anyone, all this talk of parenting was making Emily anxious.
"I have to get this done, it is not a big deal though you don't have to attend those classes."
"No Emily you must go, here give me those." JJ signalled towards the pile of folders in Emily's hands but the unit-chief kept a tight grip and pulled away as she eyed JJ desk in the distance.
"JJ I think you have enough work to do today, your desk is in a worse state than mine and that's saying something."
Emily turned and continued walking to her office with JJ following close behind. Rolling her eyes as she noticed that the blonde agent had accompanied her into her office, Emily sat down and began writing, hoping that by looking busy her new-found shadow would leave her be. She had no such luck.
"Emily you're being stubborn, Andrew really wants to go and these classes made me feel a whole lot more comfortable when I was pregnant with Henry. You'll regret it if you don't."
Emily had taken a slightly different approach to impending parenthood than the blonde agent had. While JJ embraced pregnancy both times and read all the parenting books she could get her hands on, Emily's preparation seemed to consist of long hours in her office and ignoring the pile of baby books JJ has placed on her desk a few weeks ago. JJ figured that Emily must be either super calm or slightly in denial about her fast-approaching new role. Having never particularly associated Emily Prentiss with calmness, she suspected the latter.
"I don't see what they are going to say that I can't just work out for myself, plus I don't have time."
"Then we will make the time won't we." JJ lent forward, cheekily snatching Emily's pen from her grip.
"Agent Jareau do I have to remind you that I am your superior." Emily lightly taunted before closing the file and standing up.
Her hand rested on her stomach as her baby moved within. Despite any discomfort, she never tired of this feeling. The kicks from the baby had an almost therapeutic effect on her that lulled her into a state of serenity. In these brief moments, Emily was dead to the outside world, not having to worry about parenting books and nursery arrangements or serial killers for that matter. She knew subconsciously that she had been avoiding the prenatal classes among other pregnancy-related activities, though she didn't exactly know why. Perhaps it was her minds way of protecting her from her own deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. If she didn't read about the perfect parent she wouldn't have to compare herself to the archetype.
JJ gave Emily a disproving look and before long the assertive blonde agent and her guilt-inducing blue eyes had won and Emily conceded defeat. She knew that JJ was right, maybe this class would make her feel more comfortable.
"I don't know why you're making such a big deal about a stupid class, but I'll go if it means you will stop following me around like a lost dog all day."
From the moment, she had stepped into the room, Emily had started to feel overly self-conscious. Between the various anatomical diagrams, condensing couples and cheery bright colored chairs it was all making her feel rather vulnerable and slightly dizzy. Emily felt more at ease at crime scenes than she did here. This was not her natural environment. Not to mention she was easily the eldest here. She silently kicked herself for not taking more notice of those baby books, maybe if she had it would have been easier to hold a conversation with these other women. They were all too polished and scripted as they discussed their pregnancies and offered each other advice with painted on smiles. Was this how she was supposed to be?
"Nice to meet you Emily, so when are you due?" A petite woman dressed in a blue pastel dress asked. The class hadn't begun yet so the room was full of parents-to-be making slightly awkward conversation. The women looked down to Emily's stomach as she mentally tried to estimate how far along the professional looking women was. Having come straight from work, Emily felt she stood out in her navy pantsuit. Shit. I should have changed.
"Yes…in a couple of months" Emily replied after, what she thought, taking an abnormally long time to answer a simple question. They must think I'm ridiculous.
"God, there is just so much to do isn't there. This is my third but I feel like I have completely forgotten how to look after a newborn and don't even talk to me about childbirth." The younger women laughed. "Have you worked out a birth plan yet?"
A birth plan. The words tumbled around her mind. No, she thought; I do not have a birth plan. Why don't I have a birth plan? Should I have a birth plan? Don't you just go to the hospital? The once open and bright room filled with smiling couples and bright colors now began to feel like an underground cave closing in around her. She could feel the heat rising throughout her body and a burning sensation behind her eyes started. She looked around desperately trying to find a source of comfort to anchor herself upon in this increasingly hostile environment. After much mental scrambling, she finally laid her eyes on Andrew.
There he was, standing with a bunch of other men completely relaxed. He looked in his element and she felt like a complete fraud among these people discussing swaddling techniques and baby car seats. Feeling a sudden and powerful urge to run, Emily excused herself and left the room. Catching the image of his partner running out the door in the corner of his eye, Andrew quickly followed.
"Emily!" Andrew yelled, lightly grabbing her arm as he caught up with her. Emily stopped and turned around with wet eyes. "What's wrong baby?"
"I can't do this Andrew."
"What can't you do? The class? Are you unwell?" He pressed, his concern growing fast.
"I can't do any of this" Emily managed to get out between erratic breaths. "I am a complete failure; I know nothing about anything and everyone will all find out soon."
"Honey you're not making any sense, where is all this coming from." He was at a loss to what had caused Emily's sudden change mood. He guided Emily down to a nearby seat.
"Look at me, I have done nothing. All those other people there have it all planned. Even you Andrew, you have it all sorted!"
"Emily you're fine, you're doing everything right. Don't get worked up about a silly class."
"No its true, I haven't read one of those books JJ left for me and I didn't want to even come today." Her mind continued to scrutinize her every thought and action over the last months. "God, Andrew I wanted to do paperwork more than I wanted to learn how to look after my own baby." The pressure in her head was overwhelming as she tried in a futile attempt to control the tears forcing themselves out from her eyes.
"Emily look at me." Andrew tried to calm his partner but to no avail as Emily continued to take fast and shallow breathes. Concerned that his very pregnant partner was about to pass out right in front of him, Andrew took hold of her warm hands.
"Just focus on breathing with me, in and out…1…2…3" Emily obeyed and they locked eyes as her breathing returned to normal. The tension she had been holding in for weeks started to leave her body. Content that Emily was no longer hyperventilating he pulled her into a hug and was relieved when he felt her body relax into his. His warm body and familiar touch momentarily sending Emily to a place of tranquillity. After a few moments of silence, Emily regained some of her composure and released herself from his protective hold.
"I'm sorry. I just…I love this baby so much and I am scared that I am going to muck everything up. I am not like those other women."
"Emily, I could not think of a single other person I would rather be doing this with." With one hand caressing her thigh, he brought a gentle thumb up to her cheek and wiped away the tears. "You're perfect Emily and you will be the perfect mother to our child no matter what."
Moving his hand to lay on her rounded bump, both mom and dad smiled as his touch was met with a series of soft kicks within. This was their baby. Their perfect family. Their future.
"You see, even this little one here knows what an amazing mom you are going to be."
A soft smile fell upon Emily's lips. Maybe, just maybe I can do this. We can do this.
A/N; Thank you so much for reading, I apologize if it was crap but this idea would not leave me alone so I had to write it down.
I may continue this as a series of pregnancy/family related one-shots if there is some interest. Let me know!
