Authors' Note:

This story features DS Terry Reid, the character played by Robert Glenister in three stories from "A Touch of Frost". We didn't create the character of Reid – that was the scriptwriters, the director and RG himself, and we're very grateful to them all for doing so! The other characters are all original and so (we hope!) is the plot.

The story itself takes place between the first of Reid's Frost episodes, "Benefit of the Doubt", and the second, "Hidden Truth". It will certainly help in understanding the wider context of the story and the character of Reid if you've seen BOTD, but it's not essential to have done so (we hope – again!).

Enjoy! :-)

Aliis and Handy

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Prologue

What have I become, my sweetest friend?

Everyone I know goes away in the end

And you can have it all, my empire of dirt,

I will let you down, I will see you hurt.

If I could start again, a million miles away,

I would keep myself – I would find a way.

Trent Reznor, 1996

What it was all about, in the end, was taking the chance.

Five or six weeks after the accident, when the stupid turban thing had been replaced with a more discreet dressing, and they were letting him get out of bed and wear clothes instead of a nightie with a hole up the back, Louise travelled up from London and brought the kids with her. Paul had driven them up, but very discreetly took himself off to watch Leeds play Watford for the afternoon and left them to it.

He'd arranged to meet them in the Friends of Denton General coffee shop, on the basis that it was the least scary bit of the building, and was on his second paper cup of tea when a voice shouted: "Dad!" and Danny came hurtling down the corridor. Standing up carefully at the approach he braced his back against the table and absorbed the impact of the flying ten-year-old in a huge bear-hug.

"Steady, Danny – Dad's got a bad head, remember?" Louise had a cautious-looking Katie by the hand and a faintly harassed expression on her face.

"It's okay," he assured her, stooping down to kiss the back of Danny's hair as the boy burrowed into his belt-line. "Least vulnerable part of me anatomy."

"Bloody hell, Terry, don't make jokes!" She dropped her handbag on the table and looked up at him. "You look awful."

"Cheers!" he said dryly. "You should've seen me three weeks ago."

Danny, his arms still maintaining their clasp, craned his neck to stare upwards. "I don't like your hair like that," he announced.

"Not really me, is it? I don't like it either, son, I'm growing it back."

"Did you lose another bet, Dad?"

Snorting with laughter his father sat down and pulled the boy onto his knee. "No, they had to do this to operate on where I hit my head."

"Is it all right now? Does it hurt?"

"It hurts a bit sometimes, yeah. But it's getting better and it's going to be all right soon."

Danny's bright blue eyes gave him a searching look. Seemingly satisfied that he was being told the truth, he nodded. "That's good then. Can I get a drink?"

"You'll have to ask your Mum."

Louise rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Go on. Here…" she delved in her bag and handed him some pound coins. "Take those, and you and Katie go and choose a can and a bar of chocolate each, and then you can sit up at the table and have them, okay?"

Katie, who had been staring up at her father with her thumb in her mouth, suddenly left Louise's side and walked over to stand beside his knee. "Poor Daddy!" she announced, patting his leg gravely. "Shall I kiss it better?"

"Yes please, sweetheart." He bent down and offered her the top of his cropped head, on which she solemnly deposited a gentle peck.

"All better now!" she announced with satisfaction and he gently ruffled her blonde hair.

Danny held out his hand. "Come and get a drink, Katie. You can choose. Do you want a green one or a red one?"

As they wandered out of earshot, Louise smiled. "He's been great with her lately. Protective." She looked over at her ex. "How are you, really?"

He shrugged. "Up and down. Bored. Some days are fine."

"What about the other stuff?"

"Nothing like a nice family visit, is there?" An edge had come into his voice. "Hello dear, how's it going? Still got a drug habit?"

"Don't do that!" she snapped, almost flinching.

"Sorry, sorry," he held up a hand in apology. "It's just – it's a big step, that's all. I've got a lot riding on this."

"So have the kids," she reminded him.

"Why d'you think I'm doing it?"

"I know."

"I've booked into the centre," he said. "Going straight there when they let me out of here."

"Are you sure this is the right time?"

He rubbed his hand across the top of his head, rasping the unfamiliar stubble with his fingers. "If I don't do it now, Lou, I'll never get the nerve up. They had to drop the dose down while I was in intensive care – this is the best shot I'm going to get."

She nodded, then gave a wry smile. "Bit of a drastic way to get the ball rolling."

"Tell me about it!"

He glanced across to the counter where Danny was helping Katie to decide on a drink under the kindly eye of the volunteer worker. "Look, Lou – about the money…"

"Don't be daft, Terry. It was a joint mortgage; it's your share of the house, so it's your money."

"I was going to invest it for the kids, when I got round to it."

"The kids would rather have you healthy than your money in their bank account." Louise said firmly. "This is the best thing you could possibly do with that money."

He nodded and opened his mouth to say more, but at that point the children came clattering excitedly back and the conversation was curtailed. "Tell you what," he said, "How about we take these outside and have a picnic?"

"A picnic?" Louise looked at him askance. "There's a bloody gale blowing out there!"

"There's a little garden thing out the back," he said, pointing to the French windows behind her which opened onto a sheltered, sunny little quadrangle. "And…"

"…and you're gagging for a fag!" she finished teasingly.

"No smoking in here, is there? I'm getting by on what I can snatch out the window when the nurses ain't looking. Be a pal, Lou…"

"Come on, then!" Catching Katie by the back of the coat and picking up her bag, Louise headed for the door and slid it open, letting in cool air and sunlight.

Danny, who had been hopping across the floor walking only on the green squares, skidded to a halt in front of the table. "Need a pull, Dad?" Grabbing his father's obediently proffered hand he leaned back and hauled the tall man to his feet. "Are you coming back to London soon?"

"Not for a bit, mate. I've got to go and stay at another hospital for a while."

"Mum said you needed to get better from being in the war. Is that why you're going there?"

Mum said that, did she? Clever Mum! "That's the plan. It might take a while though. Is that okay?"

Danny gave the question some thought. "Yeah. When you're properly better can we go to the football?"

"What – to Highbury? Paul takes you, doesn't he?"

"He does… but I don't think he likes it much." Danny beckoned to him to stoop down and whispered: "He's a West Ham fan."

His father pulled a face of mock horror. "Oh no…!"

Danny giggled. "He took me to the last home game but he didn't cheer when we won."

"We'll make it a deal, then, Dan – first home game when I'm back in London we're going to see the Arsenal, right?" He held out his hand and Danny shook it solemnly.

"Deal, Dad."

And that settled it. Whatever happened next, through the long, dark days and weeks to come, he'd made his son a promise. That would be his talisman – he would take this chance, walk the road, and at the end of it they'd go and see the Arsenal.

"Dadd-ee!" Katie was hanging through the sliding door, waving a chocolate bar in the air. "Mummy says stop doing boy talk and hurry up!"

Father and son grinned at each other and, hand in hand, walked slowly out into the sunshine