Authors notes: couldn't resist this one. :) Just sillyness.
Disclaimer: not mine, wish they were.
SG-1 vs. the lawnmower
Jack scowled down at the failed lawnmower once again. It was a hot Sunday and, having nothing better to do, he had volunteered his time to cut his neigbors yard. She was a nice old woman and she had been delighted. When hearing that Jack's lawnmower was broken, she had cheerfully insisted that he use her hunk of scrap metal which she insisted on calling a lawnmower.
If looks could kill and if lawnmowers could die, then this mower would be dead twice over.
"Piece of junk." Jack muttered and pulled the string to start it. It didn't start. Calmly and professionally, Jack went around to the side and kicked it as hard as he could. All he did was hurt his foot.
"Temper Jack." Jack looked around at Daniel.
"How'd you get here?" Daniel gave him a look that asked if he was trying to be particularly dense today.
"I walked here." Jack gave up and kicked the lump of metal again.
"If you break it, you're going to have to cut the lawn with a pair of scissors."
"Daniel! The thing can't break!" Daniel just rolled his eyes and knelt down next to the mower. Jack glared at the sky and exhaled an angry breath. Suddenly there was a roar and Jack looked down in surprise. Daniel was holding on to a working lawnmower and gesturing Jack to take it. Muttering dire threats to the mower if it stopped, Jack did and Daniel went to sit on the step with Sam who had stopped by.
A short time later, JAck was still only half done and the mower had failed again. Sam stepped up and went to save the machiner from certain death at the hands of an angry colonel.
"I'll take it." she said.
"You can keep it too." Jack called back to her as he made his way back to Daniel and Teal'c, who had just arrived. Briefly JAck wondered if they all possesed some sort of radar that told them when the team was congregating in one place.
The lawnmower seemed to want to make everybody angry with it and it was succeeding spectacularly. Soon it had Sam shouting at it and Daniel had to go over to remind her that it was metal and that metal couldn't die, no matter how many times you kicked it, hit it, or shot at it.
"Take it then." she cried in despair and Daniel happily complied. Jack and Sam watched open mouthed as Daniel handled the mower without any problems and soon had most of the lawn done.
Teal'c took a turn and even he was looking ruffled by the time the lawn was done. The others went over.
"This piece of machinery is not fully functional."
"It's a piece of junk Teal'c, junk not machinery. and I know it's not fully functional, my mower is broken so I had to use this." Jack replied.
"If this piece of junk is not working, then why do you not get a different piece of junk that is working?" Teal'c asked. Daniel shot Jack a nasty glance.
"It's a lawnmower Teal'c, A lawnmower is a lawnmower. It just happens that _this_ lawnmower is a piece of junk." Daniel said. Muttering, Jack kicked it again before hauling it into the garage.
"Come on." He said as he reappeared, "Lets go get a drink."
They walked off and SAm asked, "How did you manage it so well Daniel?"
THere was a certain amount of smugness in his tone as Daniel answered.
"It's a skill handed down through the generations of Archeologists. It's said to be incomprehensible to those of the military."
A shocked silence, then the sound of running feet as Daniel ran away laughing and Jack and Sam tried to catch him, leaving Teal'c to ponder the confusing ways of the Tauri.
Disclaimer: not mine, wish they were.
SG-1 vs. the lawnmower
Jack scowled down at the failed lawnmower once again. It was a hot Sunday and, having nothing better to do, he had volunteered his time to cut his neigbors yard. She was a nice old woman and she had been delighted. When hearing that Jack's lawnmower was broken, she had cheerfully insisted that he use her hunk of scrap metal which she insisted on calling a lawnmower.
If looks could kill and if lawnmowers could die, then this mower would be dead twice over.
"Piece of junk." Jack muttered and pulled the string to start it. It didn't start. Calmly and professionally, Jack went around to the side and kicked it as hard as he could. All he did was hurt his foot.
"Temper Jack." Jack looked around at Daniel.
"How'd you get here?" Daniel gave him a look that asked if he was trying to be particularly dense today.
"I walked here." Jack gave up and kicked the lump of metal again.
"If you break it, you're going to have to cut the lawn with a pair of scissors."
"Daniel! The thing can't break!" Daniel just rolled his eyes and knelt down next to the mower. Jack glared at the sky and exhaled an angry breath. Suddenly there was a roar and Jack looked down in surprise. Daniel was holding on to a working lawnmower and gesturing Jack to take it. Muttering dire threats to the mower if it stopped, Jack did and Daniel went to sit on the step with Sam who had stopped by.
A short time later, JAck was still only half done and the mower had failed again. Sam stepped up and went to save the machiner from certain death at the hands of an angry colonel.
"I'll take it." she said.
"You can keep it too." Jack called back to her as he made his way back to Daniel and Teal'c, who had just arrived. Briefly JAck wondered if they all possesed some sort of radar that told them when the team was congregating in one place.
The lawnmower seemed to want to make everybody angry with it and it was succeeding spectacularly. Soon it had Sam shouting at it and Daniel had to go over to remind her that it was metal and that metal couldn't die, no matter how many times you kicked it, hit it, or shot at it.
"Take it then." she cried in despair and Daniel happily complied. Jack and Sam watched open mouthed as Daniel handled the mower without any problems and soon had most of the lawn done.
Teal'c took a turn and even he was looking ruffled by the time the lawn was done. The others went over.
"This piece of machinery is not fully functional."
"It's a piece of junk Teal'c, junk not machinery. and I know it's not fully functional, my mower is broken so I had to use this." Jack replied.
"If this piece of junk is not working, then why do you not get a different piece of junk that is working?" Teal'c asked. Daniel shot Jack a nasty glance.
"It's a lawnmower Teal'c, A lawnmower is a lawnmower. It just happens that _this_ lawnmower is a piece of junk." Daniel said. Muttering, Jack kicked it again before hauling it into the garage.
"Come on." He said as he reappeared, "Lets go get a drink."
They walked off and SAm asked, "How did you manage it so well Daniel?"
THere was a certain amount of smugness in his tone as Daniel answered.
"It's a skill handed down through the generations of Archeologists. It's said to be incomprehensible to those of the military."
A shocked silence, then the sound of running feet as Daniel ran away laughing and Jack and Sam tried to catch him, leaving Teal'c to ponder the confusing ways of the Tauri.
