A/N: This is my second story. Anyway, "He" refers to the unlucky person that is supposed to serve the food. Beware the wrath of a hungry hare(or other Redwall beast)!

THE SONG OF THE FEAST THAT NEVER WAS

Foremole: 'E didn't bring 'ee pudden, 'E didn't bring 'ee poi,

So oi whopped him 'ee good 'un, and poked him in 'ee oye!

Chorus: The pie, the pie,

Chorus: He didn't bring the pie!

Skipper: He didn't bring the salad, he didn't bring the soup,

So I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dumped him in the gloop!

Chorus: The soup, the soup,

Chorus: He didn't bring the soup!

Long Patrol Hares: He didn't bring the tart, he didn't bring the trifle,

So I tied him up to the great big oak and shot him with a rifle!

Chorus: The trifle, the trifle,

Chorus: He didn't bring the trifle!

THE END