I really tried to capture the thoughts of Peeta the best i could after only two years of his high-jacking. After two years, i believe he's still not exactly mentally stable. I don't mean he's still trying to murder Katniss, but i made him still unaware of the difference between reality and fantasy.
This is my first hunger games fanfiction and i'm really proud of it! It's set after Mockingjay and is from Peeta's POV
I own nothing!
A Letter From a Friend
(Peeta's POV)
It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it. Of course I shouldn't have done it. If Katniss did something like this to me I would've become completely upset. Old Peeta wouldn't have even done it. I guess its just another side effect of the high-jacking then. Not knowing reality from fantasy. She says she's mine and no one else's. I believe her, but I know this wasn't always true. She wasn't always mine. She once belonged to a Gale Hawthorne. And if things had turned out differently, even the slightest turn of events, I know she would have chosen him over me a million times. I know she would never ever admit this to me. And maybe it's not even true. Still part of the side effects. But either way I have devised a plan to test exactly how genuine she claims her love for me to be.
I wrote a letter claiming to be the infamous gale Hawthorne resided in a far away district two. Within the letter I have asked Katniss something I pray she has never hoped he would eventually ask her. To come to him. To move out to district two and be with him. Love him. Leave me. Of course I didn't ask in the letter for her to 'leave me' but it was implied. I knew what to write. I'm good with words, this much I know. I wrote it from gale's oblivious point of view.
Dear Catnip,
I've finally settled down in a comfortable neighborhood her in district two. My job proves to be rather difficult, but I'm left with much spare time. I completely understand your anger towards me after everything I've put you and your family though but much time has passed. I've decided to put all the negative memories behind me and I like to think you have too. I imagine your rather lonely back in district 12. As far as I know only Haymitch has returned and I highly doubt he is of much company. Other then being lonely, district 12 has to be full of nothing but reminders of everything and everyone gone. It's been two years catnip and I think that's enough time to ask for your forgiveness. I want you to come and live with me out here in two. I miss you so much and hunting is lonely. My house is lonely. I think it would be great for both of us if you took me up on this offer. I have enclosed my business card within this letter and I'll be waiting for your reply.
Gale
I lick the envelope closed and scribble a fake district two address on the back. I double check for any evidence of its forgery and take it out to Katniss's mailbox. Which is also my mailbox. This thought makes me regret my plan one last time before I toss the shame aside and place it in.
Katniss is currently out hunting and the back of my mind makes me wonder if she's missing gale right now.
I think I might just be crazy. Katniss tells me she loves me. We share a home and a bed. She never even talks about Gale. Maybe she even hates him and if that's the case then this letter should be of no harm. She'll rip it up at the mention of her pet-name.
I can't just sit in the house and wait for her while knowing of the letter. I'll go insane. The reconstruction of the bakery has been paused while the needed materials are being shipped in, so the distraction of work is not an option. I'll go to Haymitch. Maybe even tell him what I did. He'll probably tell me I'm crazy, but maybe that's what I want. For someone to confirm the suspicion of my sanity.
"Well look who's here. Come in." Haymitch invited. He seams rather sober for the middle of the day. I go and take a seat in his living room. "what brings you here?" he asks.
"Uh" Maybe telling him isn't a good idea. Maybe none of this is a good idea. But I need to know. I tell Haymitch what I did. "Do you think it's crazy?" I ask.
"Do I think it's crazy?" he repeats an takes a seat by me. "Yeah I do." he admits. "but I think it's smart."
"What?" I whip my head towards him.
"I mean I'm sure it's not the best way to handle the situation. But if your really worried she'd leave you, this will let you know." he says and then takes a gulp of a bottle I hadn't noticed before.
"but what do I do if she calls that fake number or writes him back." I don't know if I meant what would I do if my plan hit that fault or what I would do with the rest of my life by myself. In reality I'm sure gale would be thrilled to have Katniss come out and live with him. Who wouldn't? She's beautiful and amazing and I love her.
"You gotta know that's not gonna happen. I think it's a smart idea, but you have to know the outcome. Of course she won't leave you and I don't know why you don't see that."
I want to believe Katniss when she says she loves me. Of course I do because there's no reason for her to lie about it. It's just that I've been in that situation before. She said she loved me and then what do you know, she really didn't. Being paranoid. Another side-effect the capitol has given me.
"I just need to do this Haymitch."
"I get it." he replies. Katniss must be home by now. It's gotten pretty dark and we usually start preparing dinner at this time.
"I'm gonna go." I tell Haymitch
"OK. Just don't be too shocked when you find your letter shredded in the garbage later." he says. I gave him a smile of thanks and left.
I stand full of fear in front of the closed mailbox. With my eyes closed I open the lid and fell around. It's empty. Katniss brought the mail in the house and she isn't one to bring in the mail and leave it sitting for a while before she goes through it. So chances are she's read the letter.
I take a deep breath and enter the house. "Katniss." I call trying to be casual. God I am so paranoid.
"Hey" she greets me while I take off my coat. She walks over and wraps her arms around me. A hug goodbye perhaps? "Dinner's ready" she tells me with a smile.
"Oh stew, yum!" I say as I walk into the savory scented kitchen. My eyes can't help but dash around the room looking frantically for the letter. It's not in sight.
"Yeah come sit." she says bringing the pot over to the bowls placed on the dinner table. She pours me a bowl and I swallow a spoonful. "Is it good?" she asks.
"Delicious!" I reply honestly.
"Good." she reaches over and takes my hand in hers. Oh no, this is it. She's going to want to have a serious talk now. This was such a stupid idea. I could have just lived the rest of my life thinking she loved me even if she maybe didn't. Even if she really did want gale, but settled for me. I could have lived with that, but stupid me messed everything up. Because of this, she's really gonna leave me. And I'm gonna be all alone again like I was when I was taken captive by the capitol.
I force myself to look up at her face and become confused when I see she is simply smiling at me. Simply glad that I enjoy the stew. I smile back because she has a beautiful smile.
"Thank you for making dinner."
"Of course. You always make dinner and I wanted to give you a break. You deserve that" she says reaching out to caress my cheek with her other hand. When she looks down and starts to talk with a more serious tone, my smile quickly fades.
"You just do so much for me Peeta and I just want you to know how grateful I am. How grateful I am to have you. You mean so much to me."
"Really?" I ask.
"yes, peeta. You came back to district 12 and you were there for me. When everyone left you were there. Your everything to me. Do you know that?" she says.
I'm not sure if she was expecting an answer or not and even if she was I didn't know what to say.
"I love you peeta. So very much and I just really want you to know that." she spoke.
And suddenly I feel stupid again. Katniss is a fighter. She goes out and gets what she wants. If she wanted Gale, she would have gone out and gotten him. She didn't though and that should be all the assurance I ever need. "I love you too Katniss." I reply.
"Good." she smiles and leaps from her seat into my arms to hug and shower me with kisses. I gladly return the favor.
Later that night I finish up washing the dishes. Katniss started them but retired early in order to ready herself for bed. Dinner had been severely prolonged due to the lack of actual eating and the excessive amount of kisses.
"Peeta are you coming?" Katniss called longingly from upstairs.
"Coming now." I called back putting the last dish away. Before I made my way upstairs though i checked one more thing I knew would end up bothering me if i didn't.
I smiled in satisfaction. There, in the bottom of the garbage can I discovered the shredded remains of the letter I had written addressed to Katniss earlier that day. Just like Haymitch had told me I would find.
