Disclaimer I own nothing. If I did I would have put Dean and Castiel together during season 4, with no reappearance of Lisa. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. The breaks between locations may not be working so I apologize for that.

Hope you enjoy the read.

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"Dean come with me," Castiel says calmly. His shoulders are stiff and Dean can see the tension building as Castiel waits for his answers. The couch is uncomfortable and Dean shifts his weight to get more comfy, it doesn't work.

"Cass you know I can't," Dean responds as he locks eyes with Castiel.

"You can, but you are refusing," Castiel deadpans and Dean feels his body stiffen in anger.

"Then why don't you stay here and not move to merry old London," Dean responds with a British accent.

"I would not go if it was not such a good opportunity. But I do not wish to leave you either so I am asking you to come with me," Castiel says displeased with Dean being stubborn.

"I am refusing because you want me to pick up my whole life and move for you," Dean shouts as he stands up angrily. He begins to pace the room and Castiel watches quietly for a few minutes.

"Dean," Castiel says quietly and Dean halts in his pacing.

"You can't just make decisions like that and except that I will follow you," Dean says angrily.

"I do not except you to follow me, I was merely offering because I want to be with you," Castiel states again firmly. Dean runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He can't look Castiel in the eye and see the other man's quiet dedication to how much he cares for Dean.

"I need to get out of here," Dean says as he heads for the door. He doesn't turn around and see Castiel's shoulder drop in resignation. The door shuts loudly and Dean hurries down the stairs to get to the closet bar.

The bar is dim with a few patrons drinking since it is only eight p.m. Dean signals for a shot of whiskey and drowns it within a few seconds, before he orders another. He finishes that one off quickly and orders a Bud light. He's tempted to call Sam. But his brother would call him a moron and rant at him to do what his heart says, or some other chick flick moment like that.

The jukebox plays Led Zeppelin 'Stairway to Heaven' and Dean tries vigorously not to think about how it was the song him and Castiel first made out to in the back of Dean's impala. Dean orders a round of shots and numbs himself to the memories.

It is one a.m. when the bartender cuts Dean off.

"You should go home, I'm sure Cass is worried about you. I'll call you a cab," the bartender says as he takes Dean's keys. Dean wonders how much he said about Castiel, but apparently not enough if the bartender isn't making homophobic remarks. His vision blurs when he stands up; Dean's hands grip the wooden counter top as he waits for his eyes to adjust.

"Cab is out front," the bartender says as he points his plump finger at the door, once Dean meets his eyes again. Dean pulls out his wallet and almost drops it a few times. He throws a few bills down hoping it is the right amount. He stumbles out of the bar and into the cab, giving the address to Sam's house. His brother won't be happy, but he can't face Cass right now.

The house is a few minutes out of the city limits and Dean can see the white picket fence that he helped Sam put up around the property. Jessica had officially dubbed it the dream home while popping open a bottle of champagne and kissing Sam one the lips.

The porch light is on, but no other lights in the house are. Dean thinks about going back to the apartment. But he doesn't know what to say to Castiel. He rings the doorbell and waits for someone to answer. On the third ring he sees the hallway light flicker on before the door opens.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" Sam questions as he rubs his eyes tiredly. Dean shoves his hand in his pockets and refuses to meet Sam gaze. "What happened between you and Cass?" Sam says worriedly as he looks at Dean more alert.

"Don't want to talk about it," Dean's voice slurs. It's not fair, to Sam, to show up at his house past one am and demand to come in without explanation, but he can't say anything right now. Dean doesn't trust the filter between his brain and mouth. "When did you grow two head's?" Dean questions as his body sways and Sam grips onto Dean's shoulders to steady him.

"You can have the guest room, it is already set up," Sam says as he leads Dean upstairs. Watching his brother carefully, to make sure Dean won't fall up the stairs. The two enter the room and Dean heads for the bed. "I'm going to tell Jess you are here. You should call Cass and let him know your safe and not passed out behind the bar," Sam tells Dean sternly before he exits the room and shuts the door quietly. Dean yanks his jacket off and falls onto the bed as he attempts to pull his boots off. After getting them both off he sends a quick text to Cass saying he's fine before falling asleep on the bed.

Light filters through the curtains and Dean rolls over to escape it. At ten a.m. Sam flings open the door. "Time to get up sunshine," Sam sing songs while throwing the curtains all the way open. Dean cruses loudly and rolls off of the bed to hide in the shadows. His stomach twists violently and Dean scrambles to the nearest trash can to vomit in it.

"That is gross Dean, you are cleaning that out once the sight of it won't make you throw up again," Sam says in annoyance. Dean dry heaves for a few minutes before Sam offers him a glass of water. Sam sinks down onto the floor beside Dean and leans against the bed. "What's up?" Sam questions after Dean drinks the water and leans on the bed as well.

"The ceiling," Dean replies as he points a finger upwards. His forehead feels clammy and his whole body is screaming not to move a muscle.

"Not funny Dean," Sam scolds gently before turning his eyes to Dean.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Dean mutters while running a sweaty palm down his pants leg.

"Cass called me this morning," Sam says and Dean flinches lightly.

"Good for him," Dean responds as he stares blankly at the wall.

"He is worried Dean."

"I sent him a text," Dean defends himself.

"I know you did," Sam says louder than usual. Dean clasps his ears while throwing Sam a dirty look.

"Don't talk so loud to a guy with a hangover," Dean mutters angrily.

"I wouldn't if said guy wasn't being a dick to his boyfriend," Sam shouts loudly.

"Alright I will talk to Cass when I don't have a raging headache," Dean responds while glaring at Sam.

"Good, would you like some Advil?" Sam questions politely while pulling out the bottle from his pajama pants.

"You had that all along? Why am I not surprised," Dean says indignantly while sticking his hand out. Sam puts two Advil's into Dean's hand. He dry swallows them before shutting his eyes. "Is there a reason you came barging in?" Dean takes in a deep breath.

"Besides what we talked about, no" Sam stands up and looks down at his brother. "Jess made breakfast awhile ago and left a plate for you, when you're ready," Sam says as he heads for the door. He rests a hand on the doorframe and turns back to Dean. "One more thing, Jessica said not to screw up the best relationship you ever had," Sam says with a meaningful look before exiting the room. Dean yanks the blanket off of the bed and falls asleep on the floor so he can avoid the sun.

It is noon when Dean comes downstairs. Jessica is in the kitchen with Sam sitting at the kitchen table, typing away on his laptop. "Think you can handle food?" Jessica questions with a small smile on her face.

"Food sounds great," Dean responds with a grin.

"Only if you call Castiel afterwards," Jessica smiles sweetly.

"You and Sam will not let this go," Dean points out in exasperation.

"Of course not we just want you to be happy," Jessica says as she grasps Dean's hand lightly and squeezes it before letting go. "Isn't that right Sam," Jess call's over her shoulder. Sam grins up at her like Jessica can do no wrong before typing away. "He is reviewing a case he has to present in court tomorrow," Jessica informs Dean.

"Sorry to drop by unannounced," Dean says in apology as Jessica reheats the food.

"It's ok Dean, Castiel told us what is going on," Jessica says quietly. Dean can hear Sam stop typing as he glances at Dean.

"What did he tell you?" Dean says stiffly.

"Nothing much, only that his job wants him to go work in London," Jessica says as Dean stares at her. "He also said he was waiting for your answer, but that is it," Jessica puts the plate of food in front of Dean. "Now, you can stay as long as you want, but when you go home have make up sex," Jessica instructs him firmly.

"Will see," Dean says as he eats the food.

"If you do, give me details," Jessica says as she drops her voice so her husband won't hear.

"Don't I always," Dean winks and Jessica grins.

"Would you two stop conspiring to talk about Dean's sex life," Sam adds so both of them can hear him. His wife loves hearing the gay love stories too much and Sam knows more about gay sex than he ever wanted to know.

"Now I am going to the store, I will see you later," Jessica says directing that at Dean before moving over to kiss Sam on the lips. She leaves soon after and Sam shuts his laptop before heading over to Dean.

"So London," Sam begins and Dean's eyes narrow.

"What about it?" Dean takes a bite out of the bacon a little more viciously than intended.

"Well you are going with him," Sam says knowingly, but frowns at Dean's silence. "Dean what the hell? Why don't you want to go?" Sam demands and Dean dreads the knowledge that Sam is going into lawyer mode. Makes it harder to have illogical arguments and win them.

'Did I just use the word illogical in my own head? Need to cut back on Star Trek,' Dean thinks with a frown on his face. 'Sam is looking at me weird have to get back on topic,' Dean pushes his eggs around.

"I don't know Sammy, why wouldn't I want to go," Dean begins as he drops his fork on his half eaten plate. "It might be because I don't want to lose my job and not many people are willing to hire a mechanic who only has his GED," Dean says sarcastically. Not wanting to bring up the fact that his big brother mode of protecting Sam still hasn't left his body. Years of his father telling him to watch Sam and protect him still hasn't left Dean.

"That's not a reason for you Dean, you are a genius when it comes to cars," Sam can see his brother about to protest, but cuts him off. "You rebuilt the Impala from scratch, not many people can do that, so don't you dare put yourself down," Sam tone holds no room for argument. "Now what is the real reason, and don't you dare bring up the job again," Sam sits across from Dean on one of the kitchen counter stools. He raises an eyebrow, hoping it will prompt Dean to talk.

Dean refuses to say anything and hears Sam release a sigh in annoyance. "Is it because of what dad used to say," Sam questions quietly; his face softening up. Dean stabs a fork through some eggs.

"No," but it sounds weak to his own ears.

"It's not like I won't miss you Dean. We have been together, well forever, but you don't have to be in the same state as me," Sam starts but makes sure to catch his brother eye again before he continues. "If Jess had to move I know that I would follow her in a heartbeat because I don't want to live my life if she isn't in it," Sam says with such unwavering faith in his love for Jessica.

"You're also married," Dean points out and feels kind of bad when Sam looks like Dean just stole his hair products and won't tell him where they are.

"That has nothing to do with it and you know it," Sam replies with a knowing look. "Dean, I will bring this into such a chick flick moment you will be cringing for weeks every time you even look at anything remotely touching," Sam threatens in a low voice. "Now I am only going to say this once because I am trying to spare you," taking in a long breath Sam continues.

"Marriage has nothing to do with it. And the only question you really have to ask yourself is the happiness you have with Castiel worth moving across an ocean for to keep," Sam stands up after that and takes Dean's finished plate. "Don't think about anyone else. Not me, Jessica, Bobby, and Cass. Only think about what you want Dean. You always put everyone above yourself, stop doing it and do something for yourself," Sam instructs his brother firmly and only looks away when Dean nods his head in acknowledgement.

"You done creating a chick flick moment worthy of an Oscar nomination," Dean snorts as Sam throws a bitch face at him.

"I'm glad you think it's worthy of an Oscar nomination," Sam grins meticulously back.

"Whatever," Dean says flatly as he stands up.

"Don't forget to clean out the trashcan you throw up in, I am not touching that," Sam calls over his shoulder as Dean heads upstairs. He cleans out the trashcan and puts his shoes back on. Dean slides his leather jacket on before heading back downstairs.

"You need a ride over to the bar?" Sam questions as he stands by the counter

"Yeah, that would be good," Dean agrees as he pulls out his cell phone and sees if Cass texted him back. There is nothing and Dean shuts his phone before stuffing it back into his jacket. The two head to the bar in Sam's Honda and Dean rolls his eyes as Coldplay begins to play, in the car. "Seriously," Dean says incredulously.

"As you so elegantly put it driver chooses the music and passenger shuts his cake hole," Sam says lowering his voice a bit.

"Dude are you trying to imitate me," Dean says in a offensive voice.

"No," Sam snorts as his eyes nervously flicker to Dean before staring at the road again.

"Sure you weren't Samantha," Dean says sarcastically. Sam leaves it at that, no need to let Dean know his true embarrassment at being caught for his poor imitation skills. The parking lot comes into view and Sam pulls up besides Dean's car.

"Thanks for the lift Sammy I'll see you later," Dean says as he slides out of the car.

"Don't forget what we talked about Dean," Sam calls after his brother. Dean shuts the door and heads into the bar to get his keys. After he retrieves them, Dean heads home in the impala. He turns the music up a little louder than usual and lets Black Sabbath block out any thoughts he has on what he wants to say to Castiel.

Dean shuffles up the apartment stairs and turns the lock slowly. "Cass are you home?" Dean calls out loudly while placing his car keys on the table next to the door. He doesn't hear any footsteps coming to greet him, or see Cass passed out on the couch with a bunch of translations notes scattered around him.

Dean heads over to the medium sized kitchen and pulls a beer out of the fridge before heading to the bedroom. The bed looks untouched. Dean places his bottle, of beer, on the nightstand before heading into the bathroom. He grabs his toothbrush and freezes when he doesn't see Castiel's green toothbrush.

Dean exits the room quickly and moves back into the bedroom. He yanks open Castiel dresser drawers and feels relief wash over him when he sees Castiel's tax account looking clothes are still in their proper place. Dean shuts the dresser and heads out of the room while grabbing his beer bottle. While in the process of debating to call Castiel or not, the door makes a small creaking noise and Castiel is standing in the doorway holding a small duffel bag. Shutting his cell phone, Dean tosses it onto the coffee table while propping his feet up on the table.

Castiel shuts the door behind him and drops the bag onto the floor. "Where were you?" Dean questions blankly.

"At Anna's, I wanted to get her advice," Castiel walks closer to Dean and takes a seat across from him. Dean makes a non-committal sound. Cass and his sister are close to a level that almost reaches his and Sam's.

"She say anything useful?" Dean questions while taking a long gulp of his beer.

"She said I should dump your sorry ass and hook up with a real man with a hot British accent," Castiel responds with an amused smile as Dean looks like someone just told him that the Chevy Impala is the worse car to drive.

"Maybe you should," Dean agrees even though he looks like he wants to disagree vehemently against the idea.

"Dean I know that you raised Sam," Castiel begins in a neutral voice but Dean cuts him off.

"Don't bring Sam into this. Maybe I don't want to move because this relationship isn't working," Dean snaps and instantly regrets what he says. Castiel face looks crushed as he stares at Dean before closing it off.

"You need to talk to Sam and see if he approves because I think with Sam's blessing you would be more willing to go," Castiel states firmly and watches Dean closely.

"I already talked to Sam," Dean snaps as he places his feet on the floor and sits up straighter.

"What did he say?" Castiel tilts his head to side with a curious expression crossing his face.

"If being with you is worth moving across an ocean for," Dean gets off of the couch and finishes off his beer while heading over to the kitchen. Castiel follows him and pins Dean against the kitchen sink.

"Is it?" Castiel's eyes never leave Dean's face.

Dean holds the gaze for a long moment before he shuts his eyes and takes in a deep breath before reopening them. "Sam gave his blessing, as you put it," Dean begins and Castiel doesn't move an inch. "Even with it Cass I don't know if I can bring myself to leave here. Sam always comes first," Dean says quietly years of his father ingraining that in his head never left.

A sad smile crosses Castiel's lips. "Of course," he quietly says in acceptance while resting his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean wraps his arms around Castiel waist and drops his head to rest against Castiel's soft hair. "So your decision is no," Castiel questions softly.

"I don't know," Dean hates how he can't decide. He will make a decision soon, but right now he doesn't feel like thinking. He drops his hand down to Castiel's butt and pushes the older man flush against him. "When is your flight?" Dean questions as he grinds against Castiel.

"Next Thursday at seven am," Castiel groans against Dean's neck. He places a tentative kiss against Dean's pulse point before pulling away from Dean and planting a kiss on his lips. Dean sucks on Castiel's bottom lip before pressing his tongue against Castiel's asking for entrance. Cass opens his mouth and lets Dean slide his tongue against his. Dean presses his tongue against Castiel's and slowly begins to tongue fuck him while grinding against Cass.

The two pull away for air before Dean captures Castiel's lips in a searing kiss again while leading him to the bedroom. Castiel pulls off Dean's flannel shirt before lifting Dean's undershirt over his head. Grabbing the trench coat, Dean pulls it off of Castiel's shoulders along with the black suit jacket.

"Cass," Dean moans while Castiel palms Dean through his jeans. He starts to unbutton Castiel's shirt almost tearing it off. Dean's hands fumble with the tie and get's it enough to pull it over Castiel's head before yanking off the shirt. Climbing into the center of the bed, Castiel pulls his shoes and socks off while Dean grabs the lube. The two have been together for over five years and bareback doesn't bother either of them.

Climbing back onto the bed, Dean presses himself against Castiel's body and starts to grind against him in a steady rhythm. "Dean loose the pants," Castiel commands in a low voice. Dean almost comes right there. Sitting up, he pulls off his pants and boxers quickly and helps Castiel after he is done. Pouring lube, onto his fingers, Dean raises one of Castiel's legs and kisses him from the knee all the way to the groin. The older man is already hard and pre-cum is leaking from the tip. Dean pours lube onto his hand before he rims Castiel's entrance with his finger and slowly pushes his finger inside. He readjusts his fingers angle and grazes Castiel's prostate.

"Dean, there, right there," Castiel moans as he begins to thrust himself on Dean's fingers. Dean adds two more fingers, causing Castiel to release an even bigger groan. Pulling his fingers out, Dean presses the tip of his penis against Castiel's entrance and thrusts in. He adjusts his position and loves the feeling of Castiel's hot muscles clumping around his penis.

Dean almost pulls all the way out before diving back in a steady pace. It's fast and needy. "Dean fuck me harder," Castiel demands in a shaky voice. His arms warping around Dean's neck and bringing him down into an all consuming kiss. Castiel moves his hands to grip the headboard and Dean plants his hands firmly on the bed and starts to thrust harder and deeper. His hips are pounding against Castiel's in an unsteady rhythm.

Dean can feel the pressure building in his loins and he slows down enough to grab Castiel's cock and starts pumping him in time with his frantic thrusts. "Dean," Castiel moans loudly as his seed shoots out and Dean continues to stroke Castiel's through his orgasm. Dean hips pound against Castiel's three more times before he is coming inside Castiel. White sparks beneath Dean's eyelids and he moans Castiel in a needy whisper. His hips shudder as he comes and rides out his orgasm on top of Castiel.

Dean pulls out off Castiel and lays besides him on the bed. It's takes a few minutes for them to even out their breathing again. "We should get cleaned up," Dean comments offhandedly. Instead of answering, Castiel curls against Dean's side.

"Dean, I love you," Castiel murmurs against his neck. Dean warps his arms around Castiel and pulls him against him.

"Me to Cass," Dean rubs a hand down Castiel's back.

"Give me a final answer by Wednesday," Castiel request's tiredly.

Dean doesn't reply, but plants a lingering kiss on Castiel's head.

Castiel pulls away from Dean and heads to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth. His legs shake from the sex and he can already feel the ache in-between his thighs. Castiel smiles to himself, he wants to remember this feeling for as long as he can, especially if Dean's final answer is no. He comes back out with a washcloth after wiping himself down and cleans Dean off slowly. Dean stops Castiel's hand and brings it to his mouth to suck on his fingers.

"Dean I'm not ready to have sex again," Castiel voice rumbles lowly, his pupils blowing in lust. Dean smirks at him.

"When you're ready," Dean agrees while pulling Castiel to him and tossing the used washcloth on the floor. The two take a small catnap before either one is ready to go again.

Dean's cell phone rings at seven am and he reaches across Castiel's sleeping body to get it. "Sam," Dean mutters tiredly as he rolls back to his side of the bed.

"How are you doing?" Sam questions in a squeaky voice. Dean hears Sam cough before he continues. "Everything go over well with Cass?"

"Sam what is the real reason you are calling me?" Dean questions as Castiel rolls over and places his head on Dean's chest. Dean runs a hand down Castiel back before listening to Sam's response.

Sam snorts before talking. "Come on Dean, I'm just concerned about you and Cass," Sam responds in a steadier voice.

"Sam I know when you are lying to me, so spill," Dean states in a firm whisper.

"Why are you whispering?" Sam questions curiously.

"Cass is still sleeping because of all the crazy wild sex we had," Dean leers and Sam is thankful he can't see his brother's face. "Now answer the question," Dean says in a low voice.

It's quiet on the other line before Sam finally answers. "Lisa called me," Sam admits unwillingly. "Dean are you still there?" Sam questions after a minute goes by.

"Yeah, what did she want?" Dean asks in a neutral voice. He can still remember the first time he meet Lisa. A bar outside of Cicero Indiana; she was beautiful and a firecracker in bed. Dean had thought about staying, but Lisa had refused and Dean had left. He hasn't seen her or heard from her in nine years.

"Lisa wants to meet with you today and she wouldn't tell me why," Sam explains and Dean can hear Sam contemplating. "You don't have to see her Dean," Sam tells Dean quickly.

"It's fine, I want to know what she wants," Dean half lies. He wants to know what Lisa wants, but not if it will cause more problems between him and Cass. "What time does she want to meet?" Dean rests his free hand on Castiel's hip and grips it lightly.

"I told her you have work today and she said when your shift ends is fine," Sam responds reluctantly.

"Send me a text with her cell number so I can call her later," Dean instructs Sam.

"Fine, but don't let anything she says affect whatever you choose," Sam informs Dean with a no nonsense tone.

"I'll see you later," Dean says his goodbyes to Sam before they hang up.

"What did Sam want?" Castiel stirs so his head is facing Dean.

"Wanted to know if I made a decision yet," Dean lies deciding to tell Castiel about the meeting with Lisa if anything of importance comes up. Castiel makes a sound of acknowledgement. "Cass I need to go to work," Dean runs a hand down Castiel's back. Cass rolls over and lets Dean get up. "I have to go somewhere after work, but I'll come home after that," Dean informs him.

"I'll be here when you get back," Castiel replies as he stretches. Dean watches the blanket fall around Castiel's hips and is tempted to run his hands down Castiel bare stomach. Glancing at the clock, Dean sees that it is seven ten. He has enough time to give a blow job. He crawls back onto the bed and moves up to kiss Castiel on the lips while running a hand down the length of his body. Dean's hand goes under the covers and grasps Castiel's penis.

"Do you have time?" Castiel groans lowly.

"Yeah," Dean murmurs glad neither one dressed after sex the night before. Dean raises himself up to move the blanket, so he can have skin contact with Cass. He kisses down Castiel's chest and blows on Castiel left nipple lightly while his right hand gently rubs Castiel's other one. Lowering his head onto the nipple, Dean gently sucks on it before kissing across the length of Castiel's chest to suck on the other nipple. His left hand moves to cup Castiel's balls and squeeze them gently.

"Fuck," Castiel hisses in pleasure and it brings a smile to Dean's lips as his head travel's downwards so he can suck on Castiel cock. He takes in the full length of Castiel's penis. His head bobs up and down while he sucks the other man off. Dean's left hand moves to the base of Castiel's cock while Dean runs his tongue across the tip. He moves his tongue, to lick the tip, and Dean can taste the pre cum in his mouth. Castiel moves his hand to grasp Dean's hair, but does not guide his head to do anything. Dean's eyes look upwards and watch Castiel's eyes half closed in pleasure with his mouth open as he moans in bliss.

Dean picks up his pace and bobs his head faster while moving his right hand to Castiel's mouth. Castiel sucks on Dean's fingers and when Dean's thinks it is good enough he moves his fingers to Castiel's entrance before pushing the first finger in. He adds another finger and scissors a few times before angling his finger to brush Castiel's prostate.

"Dean..I'm coming," Castiel groans in ecstasy and begins to thrust his hips down onto Dean's fingers. Placing his left hand on the bed, Dean picks up his pace before pulling his head away right when Castiel's seed shoots out. He pulls his fingers out off Castiel's tight ass right as Castiel is coming. Castiel's hand grips the bed as his body arches upwards in pleasure. Dean's cock is leaking pre-cum as he watches Castiel shuddering on the bed as he rides out his orgasm. Leaning over, Dean captures Castiel's mouth in a slow kiss. Cass runs his sweaty hand down Dean's back while the other one goes to cup the back of Dean's neck to make the kiss deeper. He moves his hand down to Dean's penis and pumps Dean to release.

Dean comes on Castiel's stomach and lays besides the older man to catch his breath. "Want to take a shower with me?" Dean questions as he smiles lazily at Cass.

"Of course," Castiel agrees as he moves to stand up with Dean following him a minute later. The two take a quick shower before Dean dresses and drops a quick kiss to Castiel's forehead before he leaves for work.

End of part 1. Will probably be a two part story and I am debating how to end it. Have a few ideas, but I am not sure which one to use. Changed one of the sections a little bit. Kept thinking about the scene and didn't feel like it fit.

Hope you all enjoyed it and leave a review to tell me what you thought about it.

Rain angst