Donald Cragen turned over. It was Monday and he was late...agian. It had been a hard week for him and his detectives and had been catching up on some hard earned sleep. He was dog-tired when he opened his door last night and collasped on his couch. He was somehow in his bed now, but he didn't time to wonder about that now. Deciding he was the boss and he should be able to come in late for once, he took his time detaching himself from his satin sheets and pillow. He strolled over to his dresser and began lying out his clothes: knee high black socks, a striped white dress shirt, tan slacks, a Rocky and Bullwinkle tie and his signature suspenders. He quickly dressed and combed his balding head. He skipped into his kitchen and poured a large bowl of Lucky Charms. As he did every morning, he spilled milk onto the tie and was forced to change into a plain black one. He walked out into his garage and hopped into his 1966 Cadillac, but not before he turned his 20" spinners. He cranked his radio up to its maximum volume and started singing alond to Nelly's "Country Grammer." He opened the garage door and sighed as he saw it was raining...again.
Olivia sat quietly at her desk. To anyone who didn't know better, it appeared that she was hard at work. To anyone who knew her, it appeared she was sleeping. However, only her and her partner, who was absent at the moment, knew that she was planning another attack on John. She, at first, thought that attacking him like she had been might be bad for his heart, but then she figured he should suck it up and take it like a man. Unknown to her, however, John was hatching a plan himself. Both had blackmailed their partners into helping with the scheme, but the big showdown wasn't excepted to happen until that afternoon.
"Yo, yo, wassup, peeps?" All heads turned as Elliot strolled in the door. They took one good look at him and their jaws dropped. Elliot was sporting a black New York cap-turned backward-over a white do-rag. Around his neck were several bulky silver and gold necklaces that read "Pimp" "Jesus" and "Love Monkey." He also had on an oversized white t-shirt that stopped at his lower thigh. Instead of his usual black slacks, he donned baggy jeans that started below his hip and ended in a puddle of denim around his tan (untied) Timberlands. He was wearing a large silver watch and had about ten more tattoes than he left with. Everyone just stared.
"Elliot...what the hell are you wearing?" Olivia stood to get a better look.
"Yo, this is how my homeboys step out...I couldn't let 'em down, yo," Elliot said, giving some random cop the unversal "what's up" nod.
"And why are all you're sentences cointaining 'yo'?"
"That's how I roll,...yo."
"How you roll?..."
"Fo, sho, yo."
"For sure?..."
"FO SHO...get it right, beyotch...yo."
"Wha..." Olivia was interuppted as Casey walked in. She was wearing overalls, a plaid shirt that stopped just above her navel, and hiking boots. She smelled slighty of horse manure and had bits of hay in her french-braid hair. Everyone turned to look at her.
"Today was farm day in Donnelly's courtroom," Casey said, real digusted-like. "Apparently, she's been sleeping with Branch and he's having an influence on her." Everyone accepted this explanation and turned back to their work. Cragen walked in a couple minutes later.
"Stabler! What are you wearing?" he demanded.
"Captian, yo! Yo, where are your pants?" Elliot was trying not to laugh at Cragen's hot pink speedo.
"None of your business! Get to work!" He stomped off to his office. Suddenly, George Huang came sailing at him on a vine that was attached to some unknown part of the roof. Cragen fell over backward, and Huang landed on Cragen's stomach and began smoothering him with kisses. Cragen pushed him off.
"Stop Huang! You're with Alex, remember?" Cragen jumped up and straightened his tie and slipped his number into Huang's back pocket.
"That's right, I am!" Huang brushed himself off and jumped into the arms of Alxandra Cabot, who had magically appeared out of thin air. Huang pressed his lip-stick painted lips into hers and they disappeared into the atmosphere.
"That was weird," Olivia said, and turned back to the paper she was staring at.
"What's weird is what Warner is wearing..." Cragen muttered as he ducked into his office in hopes that he wouldn't miss Huang's call. Warner strolled in, wearing her everyday attire: blue scrubs under a white lab coat.
Everyne stared.
"What?" she asked.
"Don't you know what today is?" Fin asked.
"No."
"It's opposite day!" Warner blinked.
"What? Opposite day?"
"Yeah, you dress opposite of the way you normally would..." With that, everyone, except Elliot and Casey who were already wearing their outfits, threw off the long black coats that they had been wearing. Fin was wearing a red plaid shirt, chest high tan pants and loafers. He pulled out a pair of thick, geeky glasses and placed them on his nose. Munch was wearing a pair of tight, tight spandex shorts, with mitch-match socks that came up to his mid-calf and high-top Jordans. He had no shirt on and, despite the belt he was wearing, he still had on suspenders that hung off his bony shoulders. Oliva was wearing black daisy-dukes, with slashes just below the seat of the shorts. She had on a flourence orange halter that was really just a piece of fabric attached to her body only by a tied sliver of fabric around her neck. The shirt threatened to give everyone a peep show if she moved to much. She also had on purple boots that came up to her thighs.
Cragen took the cake, though. He appeared in the doorway of his office, wearing a hot hot pink thong, that left little to the imagination, his now striped tie, and black school-boy sneakers. Warner gagged and ran from the room screaming. She crashed into none other than Brian Cassidy, who was dressed like a 1950's moive high school geek. He was carrying a bunch of roses and a heart shaped card the said "Olivia B Mine." Warner looked at him a moment, trying to figure out who he was and resumed screaming. Cassidy shrugged and walked into the squadroom. He walked right up to Olivia and thrust the flowers into her hands. he opened the card and started reading a poem he had written for her.
"Olivia, Olivia, Olivia my love, would you be mine, to have and to hold? To cuddle and hug, to kiss and touch, to..."
"Stop, right there," John interuppted. "That doesn't even rhyme."
"So?" Cassidy started, but he was now being pelted by hate notes from various fans of the show. Sadly, he tried to walk off, but instead he ran into Elliot.
"Yo, ya better watch ya step son. That dime-piece is mine, so back off. I gonna cap ya ass if I see ya talking to her agian...yo..." Elliot pushed Cassidy the whole time he was saying this. Cassidy slunk off to depths of who-knows-where. No one found everything that was happening odd: it was just another rainy Monday.
