To Err is Human - part one
Post 'Objects in Space' vic. Simon/Kaylee (of course!)
Summary: Is forgiveness possible?
She hadn't come to see him. Not once. He'd been a virtual prisoner in his own medbay for three days, and for three days he'd waited to see her, but she hadn't come. Surely he hadn't hurt her feelings THAT badly ... but no, that had been over a week ago. Just a few days ago, the day HE'D come on board, they'd been sitting together in the lounge laughing together about his med-school escapades. She'd had her legs across his lap and he'd held them, feeling her warmth seeping into his very soul. It was the most comfortable they'd ever been together, except well, in 'Jayne's town' as they now called it, when they'd 'slept together' on a bench. But that didn't count; they'd both been drunk. So drunk in fact that he couldn't quite remember what had happened and Kaylee had teased him about it afterwards.
That had been the day she'd said without words that she was hoping they could be more than friends. He too had told her he liked her, and tried to explain that his 'proper manners' were his way of showing her that he respected her and liked her. Now if only I could get my tongue to work properly, he thought to himself, as he hobbled out of his prison, leaning heavily on a cane Wash had managed to find hidden in the deep dark recesses of the ship.
He climbed the stairs, painfully, to reach the dining area. He was starved and hoped someone would be there to help him fix something to eat. The only person there was Kaylee, sitting at the table reading.
"Hey," he said weakly, struggling to get down the stairs without looking like he was struggling.
"Oh hey, Simon," she was clearly flustered, obviously not expecting to see him here. "How are you doing?" she asked, suddenly remembering her manners.
"Um, okay I guess," he smiled briefly, "it's a little more painful that I expected."
"Yeah, I discovered that too," she smiled back, though still managing to look uncomfortable. "Do you ... need help with anything?" she offered, hoping she wasn't injuring his sense of pride.
"Actually yes. I'm starved. Could you help me get something to eat?"
"Here, you come sit and I'll fix you something." She sprang up and pulled out a chair for him, then headed to the galley are to see what she could find.
"Well, it seems all we have left are the cans with no labels. I hope you don't mind the surprise?"
Simon remembered the day River had run amok in the kitchen, tearing labels off the cans. Jayne had said she was certifiable, but Book (Preacher Man as River affectionately called him) had smoothed things over, suggesting that the only harm done had been that they would suffer a few mystery meals.
"No, I'm so hungry I could eat anything," he replied.
"'Kay, I'm not a really good cook so please bear with me here."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Simon reassured, throwing her a smile, but she looked far from reassured. In fact she looked ... scared... of all things? But why, he wondered.
"Here you are," she said, placing a plate full of food in front of him.
"Thank you," he said warmly, digging in right away. She watched him eat ravenously, wishing she could leave but knowing it would be rude. She may not have the 'proper' manners Simon had, but she knew rude when she saw it, and did her best not to be rude to others unless they seriously deserved it. Simon didn't. HE wasn't the one who'd screwed up and betrayed his friends.
She was.
"Can I get you anything else?" she asked as he finished eating.
"No thanks. I'm feeling much better now. I think I'm going to head back to my room now though."
"Do you need help?" she asked reluctantly. Simon noticed her hesitation and though he was confused by it, decided not to push it.
"No, I'm fine," he lied, getting up without wincing. Outwardly at least.
"Okay, well, I have things... work I should..." she trailed off, gesturing towards the engine room.
"I'll see you," Simon said sadly as she skipped up the stairs and disappeared down the corridor to the engine room.
He sighed as he limped down the corridor to his quarters. How had things become so awkward between them? And why?
Several hours of brooding later, there was a soft tap at his door, and it slid aside to reveal River peering in at him. "You're still alive," she said, as if surprised.
"Yes, it's nice to see you too River," Simon smiled, glad to see her. She came in and sat on the floor cross-legged, always needing to keep her distance as though having another person close enough to touch was more than she could bear. Even Simon.
She stared at him and he felt as though she could see right through him and read his innermost thoughts. As she probably could.
"Depression is bad for the soul. Like trees whose branches sway with the wind but never break," she said cryptically, dead serious as always.
"So who's depressed?" he asked, hoping to get a few more clues as to what she was talking about. He loved her dearly but she was something of a mystery, even to him.
"You are dear brother," she answered lucidly, appearing to be a part of the here and now for a change.
As he began to protest, she silenced him with an upturned hand. "You're as transparent as glass. I'm sure Kaylee can see it too."
At her name Simon flinched.
"They're just made up you know," River said, matter-of-factly.
"What are?" Simon was totally confused.
"Most holidays. Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, even Easter. Jesus wasn't real." She had the most infuriating way of changing subjects that could leave a smarter man than Simon in the dust.
"We were talking about me. And Kaylee," he added, hoping to bring her back to reality.
"I don't think she likes me anymore," she said petulantly, sounding like a six-year-old.
"Why do you say that?" Simon asked, curious.
"She hasn't played with me for days!" Now she sounded near tears. Simon didn't answer but his brow furrowed as he thought. No, this definitely wasn't like Kaylee one single bit.
"She's ignoring you too?" Simon nodded at River's question. She looked as confused as he felt.
"I'll talk to her and find out what's wrong," he said bravely, already dreading the task. He had such a way of putting his foot in his mouth around her. It was just too awful. But the alternative? Letting River talk to her? That was out of the question. Simon himself had trouble following the twists and turns of her mind, let alone someone as honest and innocent as Kaylee. Playing together like little children was one thing, but trying to have a rational discussion about what might be bothering her? That was definitely not going to happen.
River cocked her head sideways as if listening to something, and then suddenly stood up. "I'm going," she said abruptly, her actions matching her words.
"Bye mei-mei" he said softly to her back as she hurried out the door. His thoughts drifted back to Kaylee, as always, and he wondered just what it was he was getting himself into.
