Revised Version of Chapter 1: October 18, 2015
So I felt the need to kind of rewrite the first chapter, because I realized that it might have been kind of iffy (rereading it, I felt the need to completely rewrite it, but instead; I figured I should just correct a few things here and there.)
I'm also going to be updating the second and third chapters. So hey; hopefully, you guys enjoy the updated and revised version B)
(it fits the way that the story is going so much better now; haha)
A/N from August 21, 2012:
Just a random idea I came up with. I have no idea if I should continue this or not. If you think I should, then please tell me so. If so, I may (possibly) wait until September 13, when the 4th Season starts.
01: Lost, then found
I want to scream, until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson
The wind was blowing, slowly. I looked around, and it was quiet outside, except for the noise of cars driving around. I was the only one on the roof of McKinley high school, and I was about to jump. I stepped up onto the edge, and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Just one more step, just one more step Dana…and all of the pain will go away…"
I started to take a step forward, when I heard a voice. "No!"
I froze, as the voice brought back a memory.
"Just what are you doing?" Ryan asked. I glared at him. "A project from school, what does it look like?" I hissed. Ryan got a look of anger on his face and yanked on the collar of my shirt. "Let me go!" I shouted, starting to thrash around. I threw my arm back to hit him and he twisted it around my back. "I'll remind you what happens when you're sarcastic when you're in my house."
I spun around, and saw three people, Sam Evans, Kurt Hummel, and Mr. Schuester, running over to me. I lost my balance, and I tried to get it again. I was about to fall, when Kurt grabbed my wrist and Sam grabbed the other. They pulled me back onto the roof, and onto my feet.
They let go and I fell to my knees and I sobbed. I felt arms wrap around me; two people were hugging me; Kurt and Sam both were. "You're okay, it's okay." Sam mumbled quietly. "Dana..." Kurt mumbled. I heard Mr. Schue walking towards us, and I felt myself crying more.
I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep, So I don't have to make a bad impression
I sat in Mr. Schue's office, with him, Miss. Pillsbury, Sam and Kurt. They were silent, after hearing what I had told, them, the reason why I was going to attempt suicide. How I was abandoned by my mother at birth; and that father had died when I was four. My aunt then adopted me, and died a few years ago in a car accident. From then, up until a couple of months ago, I was stuck living with her ex, Ryan, who was just drunk all of the time. How Ryan was abusive towards me, mentally and physically.
How I've run away from home and I've been sleeping at a homeless shelter, and even though I'm 17, I have no money. How I have no legal guardian now. Thinking of all of that again, made me tear up, and Kurt put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
Mr. Schue looked at Miss. Pillsbury, and then at me. "Why don't you come and live with us?" He offered. "W-What?" I asked. "Yeah! I mean, even though Sam's staying with us, you two can share a room. We have an extra bed." Emma said. "What do you say Dana?" Sam asked. I looked at them, and smiled. "Alright…thank you, so much." I said. Emma hugged me and Sam did next, and Kurt did as well. "Thank you so much you guys…" She said. "Do you want to join the Glee Club as well?" Mr. Schue asked. I looked down, and bit my lip. "Would I be able to intrude on a place that is already a family…? Would they even be willing to accept someone like me?"
"Isn't…aren't Nationals in two weeks? Are you sure I would even be able to learn everything in time?" I asked, while keeping my head down. Mr. Schue and Miss. Pillsbury smiled. "We have 16 members, including Sam and Kurt, who would love to help you out." Mr. Schue said. "Um…okay. I'll give it a try." I said, looking up at Mr. Schue. "You can sing an audition song tomorrow after school, is that alright with you?" Mr. Schue asked.
"Um...I...you should know, Mr. Schuester, I actually...I kind of tend to have some, anxiety issues, when it comes to me performing on stage." I said, looking at my hands on my knees. "Dana, that's alright. We'll be with you." Kurt said. I looked at him to see a soft smile on his face. "That's right. Besides, Rachel and Finn will most likely be the two in the spotlight during Nationals, so you don't need to worry." Sam added. "Do you think you'll be okay if Sam and Kurt help you?" Ms. Pillsbury asked. I looked at her simply nodded in reply.
I need to start to be myself, Cause I'm sick of everybody else
After school that day, Emma took me shopping for some things. Clothes, school supplies, all of that stuff. Sam decided to tag along as well. The three of us went and got some clothes first, and Emma bought me a lot. More than I personally thought I needed, but she had assured me that I would eventually need all of it. We got some school supplies that I needed, and some other things. It was about 6 PM when the three of us got home to Mr. Schue and Miss. Pillsbury's place. Mr. Schue was already working on dinner.
Sam showed me to the room we were going to be sharing and helped me put my new stuff away. "Sam, Dana, dinner will be ready in about half an hour, okay?" Mr. Schue said. "Okay, thanks." Sam said. "Thanks Mr. Schue." I said. "Dana, when we're at home, you can call me and Emma by our names. You don't need to be so formal." Mr. Schue said with a smile. "Okay, thanks Mr. Sh-I mean, thanks Will. I'm gonna take a quick shower." I said, smiling. I grabbed a change of comfortable clothes and walked out of the bedroom, and into the bathroom.
As I let the warm water rush over me, I felt relieved. I haven't taken a hot shower in so long, and I felt relaxed for the first time in months. I finished the shower, dried off, and got dressed, wearing some of the new clothes we bought; a light blue t-shirt and light green basketball shorts. I dried my mid-back length auburn hair, and looked in the mirror. My eyes are a light, pale blue color, and I smiled, as I placed my towel on the holder, and exited the bathroom, to find that dinner was ready.
After dinner, I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and Sam was sitting on his, messing with his guitar. I sat up and turned toward Sam. "Hey Sam, I have a question." I said. Sam stopped and looked at me. "Yeah?" He asked. "Do you think you could help me perform my song for Glee Club tomorrow?" I asked. "Okay, sure. What song were you thinking of singing?" Sam said, smiling. I smiled at Sam, and told him the name, and we started to practice.
I won't let you bring me down, It's here and now I'm breaking out
The next day after school, I stood outside of the choir room; nerves threatening to make me even more immobile than I already was. Sam noticed me and he walked over, a smile on his face. "You ready?" He asked. I nodded. "Just…nervous. Really, really nervous." I said, walking with Sam into the room. He smiled at me. "Don't worry, you can do this. I believe you can."
When Sam said that, I felt my face burn, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I sat down between Sam, and Rory, the exchange student from Ireland. I looked at some of the other students. I know who they are. Artie Abrams, the kid who is in the wheelchair, Tina Cohen-Chang, a junior who is dating Mike Chang, who is a senior on the football team and in glee club. Rachel Berry, captain of the glee club, Finn Hudson, quarterback, Kurt Hummel and his boyfriend Blaine Anderson; Mercedes Jones, Quinn Fabray, Joe Hart, Sugar Motta, Rory Flanagan, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Noah Puckerman, and Sam Evans.
All of them have gotten close during the entirety of the school year, would I even be accepted among then? Would I even be able to make friends with any of them besides Sam and Kurt…?
My thoughts were interrupted my Mr. Schue talking, and he smiled at me before continuing. "Guys, Dana Greene here has joined Glee Club, and she's ready to give us her song." Mr. Schue said, smiling and urging me to stand in front of the glee club.
I did, and I turned to them. 16 pairs of eyes stared at me, 18 counting Mr. Schue and Miss Sylvester, and not even counting the band, watching me; watching me so they can see when I mess up, and waiting for me to move…
"I can do this. Come on girl, just introduce the song and start singing, you don't need to worry about them, they'll love you, they'll be your friends…they won't turn out like those last people…come ON Dana, let's GO…"
I cleared my throat and swallowed. "O-Okay…I'm Dana Greene, a-as Mr. Schue said…Um, S-Sam is going to be helping me w-with the song I'll be singing, s-so, t-thank you for your patience." I said, as Sam stood, grabbing his guitar and standing by me. I took several deep breaths before I nodded to the band, who started playing, Sam as well, and I felt a new me take over, as I started singing, and I felt like a different person, not the loser girl with self-esteem and anxiety issues, but a girl who loved herself, and a girl who was happy with her life. Someone who mattered to other people, and who wouldn't ever dream of committing Suicide.
The me that I used to be.
"There's a drumming noise inside my head
that starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an almighty sound…"
As I sang, I put everything into it. All of my emotions, including how I felt about my mother abandoning my father and I; my father dying, my aunt dying, and Ryan abusing me...
About having to live on the streets, living in a homeless shelter, and then being taken in by Mr. Schue and his fiancé, and becoming friends with Kurt and Sam.
"There's a drumming noise inside my head
That throws me to the ground
I swear that you should hear it
It makes such an all mighty sound…"
As I sang, I let everything spill out. All of my emotions; love, hate, sorrow, and loneliness…It all came spilling out, and I felt invincible, like I could finally breathe. I finally felt…free. Free to be me, and not what anybody wants me to be.
"Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell…"
I paused, and Sam did, then we continued, and he joined me in singing for the final part of the song, and I still kept singing, and I sang stronger with each beat of music I heard, and with each beat, I felt my courage come forth.
"Louder than sirens,
Louder than bells,
Sweeter than heaven,
And hotter than hell;
As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
And gets louder and louder
It fills my head up and gets louder and louder…"
As we finished the song, the music stopped and I was panting, trying to catch my breath, and I looked at the Glee Club, who had awe and other mixed emotions on their faces, and I felt my face get warm. I rushed out of the room, towards the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and wiped the tears off of my face. I splashed water in my face, and dried it off. I gripped onto the sink, and bit my lip; gripping the sides of the sink. I heard someone panting, and I turned to see Sam, standing in the front of the bathroom.
"Are you alright?" He asked, out of breath from running after me. I nodded, my face burning again. "I was horrible, wasn't I?" I asked, walking out of the girls' bathroom. "No you weren't, you were good!" Sam said, hugging me. I felt warm in his embrace, and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I started crying, my emotions spilling out once again, and Sam held me tighter.
When we had gotten back to the choir room, Mr. Schue stopped me. "Dana…I let the others know about your situation. Ah, the homeless part and living with us. I didn't tell them anything that you might not want me to tell them." He said. I nodded. "Okay...thank you." I said quietly, smiling at Mr. Schue as Sam and I continued walking. I was hugged by Tina, and then Quinn. Soon, I found myself being hugged by all 16 members of the Glee Club.
One month later
I sat on my bed, my eyes closed, and sat there, breathing. I opened my eyes and sat up, then grabbed my notebook that was right by my bed, and I started writing in it. Sam opened the door to our room, and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I was lying on my bed upside down, writing in my notebook. I looked at him. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Writing." I said, before continuing to write. "What are you writing?" Sam asked with a sigh, before sitting next to me.
"A letter." I said simply, silently reading the sentence I just wrote to myself. "Oh…okay." Sam mumbled. I sighed, set my notebook down, and flipped over. "Okay, what's up?" I asked, looking at Sam. "There's some girl I like…but she doesn't notice my feelings for her. I've tried to give her hints, but she doesn't get it." Sam said. I sat up. "Really? Anyone would be crazy not to notice. Who is it?" I asked.
Sam looked at me and leaned close. He cupped my cheek with his hand and kissed me softly, and pulled away. "It's you, Dana."
I touched my lips and looked at Sam. "R-Really…?" I asked. Sam smiled and nodded. "W-What about Mercedes?" I asked. Sam sighed. "I'm over her…plus, she's going to be moving to go to College. Dana, I feel things when I'm with you, and I know these feelings. I…think that I really, really like you, Dana." Sam said, as he held my hand. I hugged Sam around his neck, pulled away, and smiled at him. "Sam, I think I'm falling for you too…I must be crazy, because, well, I've known you since you transferred to McKinley back when we were sophomores, but...I barely know you." I said, whispering the last part. "Dana, it's okay to let yourself feel. Emotions are part of being human." Sam said. "But…I just don't want to get hurt again." I said, looking at Sam. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Take a chance on me." He said, gently touching my cheek. "Okay Sam. I will."
Sam smiled and hugged me, and I hugged him back.
During the graduation Ceremony, I was standing beside Sam, and with Tina, Brittany, Artie, and Blaine. I watched the seniors in Glee Club that I've come to know walk and get their Diploma, and smiled.
I felt so happy for them, and Sam gently squeezed my hand. I looked at him. "Next year, that'll be us." He said, smiling. I smiled in Reply. "Yeah…"
