I know I'm going to have to make my decision tonight, the one that'll change my life. I known that tonight if I make the unfavorable decision I could not make it back out. I'm aware Father is taking me to him, so I can receive my mark, so I can be a 'good' Black unlike Andy.

Andy

She forgot me, she always said she would come and whisk me away from everyone. Once she tried, I was only four. We were at the park and she told me we were going to spend some time at her flat, it turns out she didn't want to take me back home. Mum found out four days later, I haven't seen Andy since.

I wish I had run away like her, I knew that my parents would be mad when I was sorted into Gryffindor, I knew it. If they were mad at Andy for getting Ravenclaw, they were going to be mad at me. I wasn't alive when she was in Hogwarts but I've seen the scars from their reactions. My parents never got along with her, she would always put a charm on my door so I couldn't hear them fighting. Even though I couldn't hear I knew it was about me.

Once she was gone, my parents thought I behaved better. I would hang out with 'Cissy as well as Bella, when she visited. I was all alone during the year as I was younger then them by a lot and I hated it. They acted like I was a baby sometimes; they would spell words out thinking I didn't know what they meant.

I know that if I choose to continue the charade I'll become a murderer. I'm not quite sure if that's worse than the death I'm sure is going to follow my refusing. I wish I could say I'm not afraid to refuse; maybe if I did I'd make it out alive. Sirius did.

Sirius

He picked me up and spun me around every time we saw each other. Sirius was glad I was in Gryffindor, he always said so. But he was like Andy; he left me to gallivant off with his friends. Then I was Forgotten, I was little Nicky. It was like they grew up and forgot I did too.

I don't see why I shouldn't become a Death Eater, it's not like any of those on the light side want me with them. I'm sure the other Death Eaters want me to join them. If they didn't why would I be here? Sure, they never wanted to be my friend before but once I was one of them we'd be friends, wouldn't we? But I have to remember that I'm out of school now and I can't go talk to the Professor and change my mind. Voldemort won't let me back out once I commit.

I wish I could freeze time and let the Angel and Devil that rest on either shoulder finish their battle. If I had more time maybe I could find an alternative to the fate that will soon be decided. Maybe I should have ended this game of pretend long ago, and then I wouldn't even be facing the decision. I know I have the darkness inside me, the ability to end the lives of innocent people. Somewhere else lays the good though, the part that knows what I may do is wrong.

"Nicole, please step foreword to receive your mark." The menacing voice of the snake like man Voldemort hissed. I stood still for a moment thinking and then reached deep down and somehow pulled out my Gryffindor courage.

"No." I whispered. "I'm not going to join."

I know I'm going to die someday, and personally I'd rather not die knowing I'd taken the lives of others. I know what was going to happen, I can see the jet of Green light headed toward me and I'll stand still taking the curse full on. It was quicker and easier than falling asleep.