Something Not Depressing
By Inuyoshie
"Woman, eat,"
Orihime sighed heavily. This again. The food was bland and disgusting tasting, but if she didn't eat it, Ulquiorra would shove it down her throat. The thought of that was… unpleasant.
"I'm not hungry," Orihime tried reasoning with him… but he was a heartless monster. They cannot be reasoned with.
"Woman, if you do not eat I will-"
"Force feed me or start up an IV," Orihime finished. "I know," In irritation, the once sunny girl took the plate of food and stared hopelessly at it. Ulquiorra swished out.
Orihime sighed again, now left all alone. She played idly with the ends of her dress, and then took a few bites of food.
After a few minutes of eating, she heard a scream. Curious, Orihime inched over by the door. Remembering Ulquiorra's strict warnings about leaving she stopped, but then opened the door. A female arrancar was running, carrying a huge teapot.
"What is it?" Orihime asked curiously. The woman just screamed again and took off.
Now Orihime was really curious. She walked shyly through the halls until she reached the end, where the woman had been coming from… Aizen's meeting room.
Apprehension gripped Orihime again, but she pushed it aside and pushed open the door. What she saw shocked her entirely.
All of the Espada were there, unconscious. Aizen, Gin and Tousen were unconscious too… only everybody was in the bodies of five year old children.
"They're so cute!" Orihime squealed, stepping in. A five year old Yami slept leaning on a five year old Aaroniero (who had Kaien's face on). Five year old Szayel's head was leaning back and his mouth was slightly open, while five year old Zommari had his head in his lap. Grimmjow and Nnoitera were passed out on the floor, Nnoitera's impressively large zanpaktou now reduced to a smaller counterpart. Ulquiorra looked especially adorable as a five year old, curled up in his chair. Halibel looked odd without her enormous cleavage, but she still looked cute. Barrangan was the only one who looked strange… he still retained his elderly appearance, only his size was smaller. Stark snored on on the table. Gin and Tousen were sleeping leaning on each other's backs, and Aizen… he was slumped limply across his chair. Orihime walked over by him, staring at the formidable lord of Las Noches with awe, and then jumped back a little when he began to stir.
"Oh boy,"
"Ah!" Orihime jumped back and started at a short, green haired arrancar with a one horned mask and wide pink eyes. "Um… what happened?"
"Dunno. Ask Aizen-sama," the arrancar shrugged. Orihime turned around and stared at a five year old Aizen. Aizen blinked back, his chocolate eyes now wide and innocent looking.
"Hm… I want my tea," he announced.
"You scared the tea lady," the arrancar pointed out.
"I want my tea!" Aizen repeated loudly. Everybody else started waking up.
"Huh?"
"What the?"
"You're spooning me!"
"Hey! Quit making fun of my clothes you douche! Besides, I look handsome!"
"Trash…"
"…"
"Asshole!"
"Ah…" Orihime trailed off as Nnoitera and Grimmjow got into a fistfight. She frowned and walked in between them, separating them.
"Lemme at him lemme at him!" Grimmjow growled angrily.
"Fucking woman let me go!" Nnoitera screamed.
"Please stop fighting," Orihime told them gently.
"I'm hungry!" Yami whined.
"Be quiet you big oaf," Szayel hissed. Orihime frowned. Soon pandemonium rose in the room.
"Um…" Orihime trailed off.
"OKAY EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" The green haired girl shouted. There was a silence in the room.
"Er… thank you…?" Orihime asked.
"No problem!" the girl grinned, thrusting out her hand for Orihime to shake. "I'm Lilinette, the lazyass bastard's fracción," Orihime shook Lilinette's hand, blinking.
"Er… do you know what caused this?" she asked.
"No clue," Lilinette replied. "I'd have you ask Szayel but…" Lilinette glanced at Szayel, who was glaring at Yami. "I don't think he can even reach his work benches anymore,"
"So we have to find another scientist to help fix them," Orihime murmured.
"Looks like it!" Lilinette grinned. Orihime paled.
"Not good…" she moaned.
Aizen was getting irritated. He stood up, and his spiritual pressure crushed all of the other Espada to the ground. It didn't affect Orihime as much as usual though.
"I want my tea!" he roared.
"They're not acting like themselves either," Orihime murmured.
"Nope," Lilinette shook her head. "We'd better fix them soon… or at this rate they'll destroy Las Noches… hey, you good with kids?"
"Yeah," Orihime nodded. "My landlady had two little boys, and to lessen my rent I took care of them after school,"
"Great!" Lilinette grinned. "You can take care of the Espada then! Well… Stark won't need much taking care of, but the others…" Orihime nodded, squaring her jaw.
"Could you… get Aizen-sama some tea though?" she asked Lilinette shyly.
"Yeah, no problem. IN the mean time… do you know any other crazy scientists that could fix this?" Lilinette asked, giving some lesser arrancar an order.
"Yeah… but he's… well…" Orihime muttered. "He's not exactly too friendly with Aizen…"
"A shinigami?" Lilinette asked.
"Ex-shinigami," Orihime nodded. "Maybe if I talk to him though…"
"Okay… we're gonna have to get everybody to the human world though," Lilinette muttered. Orihime glanced at the five year olds running around and smiled.
"Okay everybody!" she announced. All of the five year olds turned to stare at Orihime. "We're going on a field trip!"
"A field trip?" Grimmjow asked.
"Yes," Orihime nodded cheerily.
"Wow!" Yami grinned. "I've never been on one of those!"
"Ooh! Sounds like fun!" Gin grinned.
"What about Aizen-sama-"Ulquiorra muttered.
"Who cares about Aizen?" Nnoitera cut Ulquiorra off.
"I do!" Aizen remarked, holding a huge mug of tea. "And I say…"
"You sure it's a good idea to keep Aizen-sama in charge?" Lilinette remarked. "I mean… he now has the mental capacity of a five year old,"
"Yeah, but…" Orihime looked uncertain.
"Okay everybody! Orihime here is in charge!" Lilinette announced.
"What?" Nnoitera howled. "Why should I listen to a woman?"
"Because if you don't I'll blow your stupid head off," Lilinette replied, powering up a cero.
"Lilinette-san-"
"I really don't like kids," Lilinette scowled. Orihime sighed.
"Okay everybody, come here," she said gently. The Espada glanced nervously from scary Lilinette to not so scary Orihime and soon she was surrounded by a crowd of thirteen five year olds.
"Okay, we're all going to the human world," Orihime explained. "You all need to stay together, and listen to Lilinette-san and I. Also, do not kill each other or anyone else,"
"Awww!" Grimmjow and Nnoitera whined.
"But…" Orihime brightened up. "We're going to have fun!"
"Or else…" Lilinette added menacingly. She opened a garganta and they went.
Inuyoshie's after the chapter special~
Yo! So this is a strange one… I'ma gonna make it AiXHime because I lurve that pairing. However, due to its nature, most AiXHime fanfics are pretty depressing, hence this one which is less depressing and more cute and fucking adorable! It's as cute as a bundle of kittens! And then some.
So indeed, I hope you enjoyed this one~ it actually has a plot behind it by the way, I feel like I should mention that.
