Harley removed the blind fold the Joker had ordered her to wear. They were standing outside an apartment door. It took her a while to recognise it. It was her old apartment. The apartment she had found the Joker inside after he had broken out of Arkham Asylum one year ago. She squealed happily "Aw, Puddin'! Ya' remembered!" She flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
"Of course I did!" He said with a smile and pushed her aside. "Come on, let's go inside and celebrate!"Harley beamed at him. It was so sweet that he had remembered their anniversary. She tried the doorknob out of habit. "It's locked." She pouted and rang the doorbell. "Don't be silly, Harl'!" The Joker said, and went to the door. He looked through his pockets as if looking for a key, but then suddenly took a step back and kicked the door in. "Ah, theeere's the key!" He said and laughed. Harley giggled and went inside "Aaw, ya' broke it!" She said with a grin. Commotion was heard from the living room as someone had gotten up to check on the sudden noise. The Joker tilted his head to the right and waited. A man walked out from the living room with an angry expression. "Hey, What the he-" He yelled, but stopped when he saw the Joker. His face became pale and he started to stutter:"P-please, I-I have k-k-kids!" The Joker laughed. "And I have a k-k-GUN!" He said and pulled his gun. Harley made a dramatic gasping sound and held her hands in the air. "I surrender!" She said with a smile. The man just stood there, staring at them, clearly unsure of what he should do next. Could he risk running or even calling the cops? Harley could see the questions painted on his face. The Joker didn't care. He walked up to the man and said:"Look fella, we're not here to cause any problems, we just-" He raised the gun and hit the man over the head. The man fell to the ground, unconscious. "That takes care of that." The Joker said and brushed his hands together. "What if he wakes?" Harley asked as she skipped over him. She was about to bend down to get a better look at the guy, but something in the living room caught her eye. Everything was changed, even the walls where repainted. She went inside, she wasn't sure what to think of it. It wasn't really her style, but it was sort of nice to be back. The Joker went back to the guy and looked down on him."Wanna wake up on me, eh?" He said and kicked the guy who was still unconscious, but groaned silently when the shoe hit his side. The Joker grabbed the guys arm and dragged him to the nearest radiator. He then pulled out a pair of handcuffs and chained both the man's hands to it. "Too bad, I was hoping we could have used those later." The Joker said to himself and laughed. He then walked to the living room where Harley still stood. "This is all wrong." The Joker said disapprovingly. Harley nodded at him. He walked around the room and occasionally knocked over a vase or pulled a picture from the wall, saying: "This doesn't go here." And: "No, that's all wrong!" Harley giggled "hihi, ya' making a mess, Puddin'!" She threw herself onto the couch and smiled sweetly at her Joker. "Nonsense, I'm making this place right!" He said, as he moved a chair across the room. He then pulled the curtains and said:"Getting there!" Harley grinned at him "Looks good, Mr. J!" she then patted the seat next to her "Why don't cha' come and sit with me?" She asked with glee. The Joker looked around. Satisfied with his work, he walked to the couch, making sure to step up on, and over the coffee table, and then threw himself next to Harley. He put his arm around her and smiled. She cuddled herself up to him. "This is so romantic. Thanks!" She said quietly and gave him a slight tug. He grabbed her and pulled her onto his lab and kissed her. "Well!" He said and stood up, causing Harley to fall to the floor. "Let's see what's for dinner!" He skipped, laughing, to the kitchen. Harley stood up, aching a little, she then followed him with a smile. She watched him happily as he searched through the same cabins he had searched through a year ago without finding anything. "Or," she said "We could order something." She grabbed the phone from the wall, showing it to him. "We could call that Italian place, hm?" She smiled encouraging at him. "Oh... About that..." He said, flinching. "They, uhm... Closed! Yes, they closed..." She looked at him for a while then smiled "Did they?" She knew that tone "What happened?" She asked titling her head to the side, making the tassels on her hat jiggle. "Well..." He began. "There was a... problem with delivery time, and they... Well... They blew up. Enough of that! Let's find somewhere else to order from!" He said, smilingly changing the subject. "What a shame." Harley giggled and kissed his cheek. "What do ya' feel like eatin'?" She asked and smiled at him as she jumped onto the table, sitting on it swinging her legs a little. He thought a little to himself, then turned to Harley. He was about to say something, but stopped. He looked up and down Harley with a playful smile. "Remember this place, one year ago?" He said and walked up to her, placing a hand on both her thighs, slowly separating them and placing himself between them. She grinned playfully at him and wrapped her arms around him "Like a dream." She said softly leaning in. Well, then." The Joker said, looking her straight in the eye. "Fancy a trip to dreamland?" He was about to unbutton his pants, when they both heard a noise from the bedroom. Harley pouted "Party pooper." She sighed, crossing her arms. The door to the kitchen opened "Nick, what's all the noise abou-" The woman, who had opened the door, stopped in her tracks as her eyes caught the two clowns in her kitchen. The Joker rolled his eyes. "Honey, could you get that?" He asked Harley, nudging his head in the woman's direction. The woman had started walking backwards into Harley's old bedroom. Harley jumped off the table and, as she reached the woman, grabbed her by the hair. "Couldn't ya' just have stayed quiet, huh?" She asked a little annoyed. She had just been about to have some real fun with her boyfriend and who knew when he would be in that kind of mood again? The woman whimpered and cried "Please don't hurt me!" Harley ignored the woman and called the Joker : "Puddin?! Do we have any rope?" The woman struggled under Harley's grip. Harley had to admit, this was the part she still hadn't quite gotten used to. "The Joker shook his head. "Harley, please, we're not barbarians!" He said and removed Harley's hand from the woman and placed his arm around her shoulders. "Listen, lady. We didn't come here to-" The Joker punched the woman's face into the table. She fell unconscious to the floor. "Ooooh, I never get tired of that!" The Joker laughed, as he dried a tear of joy from his eye. Harley smiled at him. She would never get tired of his laughter. She kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry I'm still not used to da'... people." Harley said. She had gotten used to the Joker handling them a long time ago, but she still found it hard to do herself. "No worries, Harl', I've got your back." He said and grabbed her hips, lifting her back onto the table. "And now: Your front!" He said with a wink and kissed her neck. Harley squealed happily, feeling his breath through the fabric of her suit. She pulled him closer to her and kissed him deeply, licking his lips a little. The Joker smiled and reached around her, slowly unzipping her suit. A shiver went down her spine as the cold air hit her skin. She grinned against his lips and let her hand run through his hair. He roughly pulled down her unzipped suit and pulled her arms out of the sleeves. He leaned down and kissed her breasts leaving red marks on them. She let out a joyful sigh, arching her back to press her breasts closer to him. It had been far too long since she had had any alone time with him. They had gotten a new gang since they broke out and now there was always someone nearby, but now it was all about the two of them. She playfully ruffled his hair. She loved playing with it, but rarely got the chance. The Joker breathed deep and hard, he was really getting into it now. He grabbed one of Harley's breasts with one hand and pulled down his pants with the other...
An hour or so later they were both on the floor panting and laughing. Harley rolled closer to the Joker resting her head on his now bare chest. She kissed it and sighed joyfully. The Joker stroked her back, absent minded, catching his breath. "Well, that was fun!" He said with a big smile. Suddenly the woman, also on the floor, started to stir. The Joker reached a hand over to her, placed it over her mouth and nose, then turned his head and kissed Harley deeply, as the woman struggled, then, after a short while, stopped. Harley happily kissed him back, smiling against his lips. She couldn't help it, she was just so happy.
Out in the hallway the man had started to wake as well, his eyes caught the sight of his wife struggling and then not moving. He couldn't see much, but he could see enough. "Leave her alone!" He screamed, Harley could hear the despair in his voice. She broke the kiss with the Joker, put her suit back on and got up. She started looking through the kitchen drawers until she found a roll of duct tape and a permanent marker. She strolled to the now crying man in the hall and started wrapping his head in it. "Shhh." she said in a soothing tone. "Can't ya' see we're in da' middle a' somethin'?" She asked, covering the man's mouth and nose with the tape. She then smiled at him and drew a big smile on the tape covering his mouth. "You'll be quiet now, right?" she asked the man who was desperately trying to remove the tape from his face.
The Joker got dressed, walked out to them and said:"What are you silly kids up to?" He padded Harley's head as he said it. She giggled and looked up at him with a smile "We're playing a game of quiet-time. Like ya' make me play, when ya' scheming!" She said with a grin "Aren't we?" she asked the man who was still struggling, less now, as he was running out of air. "Kids!" The Joker said with a smile. He stopped for a second. Kids? He felt like he had forgotten something. "Oh, well." He said to himself, as he turned to the living room and went to sit in front of the TV. Cartoons, just like a year ago.
Harley placed a finger over her mouth. "Shh" she said to the man, who had stopped moving, making sure he kept playing the game, before she went to join the Joker. Before she reached the living room, the Joker shouted: "Harl', come quick!" She reached the room "What?" she asked with a smile. The Joker was pointing at the screen. "It's a re-run!" He yelled at the TV. Harley looked at the screen, not sure what he meant. "They re-run things all the time, Mr. J..." She said a little confused.
"But Harl'!" He shouted with enthusiasm. Don't you see!? It's the same episode they sent. One. Year Ago!" He had a huge smile all over his face. "They actually got my threat-" He cleared his throat. " Letter. They got my letter!" Harley couldn't help but smile, widely. She honestly hadn't paid much attention to the cartoons back then. "Aw, Puddin'! Ya' didn't!" She said flattered and sat herself down next to him. It flattered her deeply that he not only remembered which cartoon they had aired, but he had actually made an effort to get them to air it.
"We never ordered dinner." She said, after having watched the same cartoon three times in a row. The channel seemed to only play that one episode the entire day. She frowned a little, getting hungry. "Right!" The Joker said surprised. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen. He stopped at the door, realising he didn't know why he was going there. He came back into the living room, and stood, looking at Harley. She looked back at him. "Maybe they got somethin' in their freezer?" She asked, hoping he'd check himself, as she found the couch to be strangely comfortable. "Ah, yes!" He said, and spun around on his heel. He passed the man cuffed to the radiator on the way to the kitchen, and the woman on the floor on the way to the freezer. He giggled to looked around in the fridge. "Hah!" He said to himself. He had found a frozen pizza, and, even better, ice-cream! He shoved the pizza in the microwave and looked around as the timer counted down. In the back of a cabinet he found a bag of doughnuts. "Bingo!" He said, and brought them to Harley who was curled up in one end of the couch watching the same cartoon. She looked at the Joker with a drowsy smile. "What cha' find?" He raised the bag of doughnuts over his head, saying:"Tadaa! And there is a frozen pizza in the oven." He smiled to Harley. She beamed at him. "Yummy." She said and made a gesture for him to join her. He sat down next to her. "Anything for my punkin' pie." He said and stroked her cheek. She curdled up to him "Thanks, Puddin', you're da' greatest." She said and grabbed a doughnut. She handed him one as well.
"Puddin'?" she asked after a while. She yawned. "Yes, Harl'?" He replied. "Can we have a sleepover here?" She asked letting her head fall onto his lap. "Sure!" He said with a smile. "Especially know that you know who-" He said, holding his hands to the side of his head pointing a finger upwards on each hand. " knows of our newest hideout." "Does Batsy know?" She asked sitting up again, looking concerned at the Joker. "Are the babies okay?" "Sure, whatever." He said, then he remembered:"Whaitaminute! Didn't the guy say something about kids?" He said, pointing to the man in the hallway. The microwave beeped, and the Joker stood up. "Oh. well." He said and shrugged. On his way to the kitchen he noticed a key rack on the wall in the hallway. One of the keys was a car key. The Joker took it and walked over to the man on the floor. He crouched down next to him and said:"Aaaw, a car? You shouldn't have!" He laughed and went to get the pizza.
