Pregnancy Pains

Just because she's 24 doesn't mean her taste in TV is going to change. And so, she cries on the couch with a tub of cookie dough ice cream while watching gossip girl, even though everyone knows the only decent season gossip girl had was the first and the first half of the second but she's a girl and she's allowed to think it's shitty but watch it anyway. You know, like one tree hill and pretty little liars.

She hates being pregnant because it makes her achy, nauseous and she feels fat and disgusting and she can't see her feet so it sucks because what if she trips? Then she'll be screwed and so will the baby.

Of course, that's a lie because being pregnant is the most meaningful thing for her and she loves that she's taking care of her little baby until she's ready to be out in the world on her own. It makes her feel powerful, important, and needed. That, and she loves feeling her little girl moving. It's the best part.

But still, she hates feeling so uncomfortable.

Puck always tells her she's dramatic whenever she whines about her pregnancy pains and discomforts and stuff which then prompts her to insult him and call him an insensitive fucker and tell him he'll never understand because seriously he won't. His feet will never swell up to look like balloons and he will never feel like Mrs. Puff on SpongeBob when she crashes into that stupid lighthouse and explodes. And his breasts will never hurt nor will he ever puke on a daily basis and have no control over it. So, Noah Puckerman better not dare call her fucking dramatic. He better remember where he gets sex and where he won't if he keeps up with his smart mouth.

She grunts as she watches Blair walk the streets of Paris without a care in the world in her stupid size two clothing and then she starts to sob again because she'll never be a size two again because she looks like a truck. And then she turns to puck again and cries about how he doesn't want her anymore and how he's going to leave her.

He calls her dramatic again but this time pulls her into his arms and presses his lips to hers. He tells her he's head over heels and that she's stuck with him. He throws into the mix that her boobs are awesome and that her ass is fantastic and that he wouldn't trade her because of them. And then he so very sweetly leans down and drops a kiss to her protruded belly, lingering as he reminds her that she's having his baby and that no one has shit on her because of it.

And at that moment she cries again. Because seriously, her Puck is the greatest in the world and he makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside even if he is an annoying twit.

And then she goes back to gossip girl, this time watching Serena look like a total model in her glamorous clothing and tall stature. She cries again because she'll never be that tall or look like a model because she's fat. This time she turns to Puck and calls him a liar saying he doesn't really want her.

Puck rolls his eyes at her and she wants to curse him out but he beats her to the punch by kissing her and gently pushing her back on to the couch. He can't lie on top of her like he used to so he comes from the side, keeping his lips on hers. He works his way down and hooks his fingers into the hemline of her boy shorts and pulls them down, dropping a kiss to each side of her thigh.

And then he takes the plunge and she's a mess, writhing, wanting him to come closer as he sucked on her clit and lightly nipped at the bundle of nerves. She felt him slide his tongue into her and curl and she squirms and screams his name, coming undone shortly after.

He tells her to never doubt him and reminds her that she isn't fat that she's just having his baby and that just because of that, that Claire and Marina have nothing on her. She corrects him and tells him it's Blair and Serena but still kisses him and thanks him for his patience.