I don't own Beetlejuice. Or the headless horseman. Now I've got you curious, don't I? I also don't own Lydia, she's spoken for, nor the Maitlands, nor the neitherworld... Though I'm trying to get invited, nice kinda place to visit, but who'd wanna stay there? I'm still trying to arrange a tour guide... And Halloween, though I do enjoy it, belongs not to me, but everyone. :)
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Okay, this took longer than I expected, but I made the mistake of getting absorbed in a really long series of comic strips, one thousand two hundred or so. And worse, after that, my mind just wouldn't snap back into Beetlejuice mode! Web comics do rot your brain people... But god they're fun.
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The sun was setting in the distance with a sense of finality, painting the sky an almost frightening shade of violent red. Adam Maitland was staring through the window uneasily, his lips pressed into a thin line. He was just certain that something bad was going to happen… There was that unmistakable sense of foreboding in the air, always accompanying a particular foolhardy risk.
"Is it too late for me to object a few more times to this plan?" He asked with a sigh, glancing at the two women in the room. Barbara seemed markedly unworried, and just flashed him a tolerant look, sweeping around the room one last time to make certain everything was in place. "Because I really think…"
"Adam," Olivia muttered, much less patient than her ghostly friend, "The guests are going to be here any minute. I think that ship has sailed."
A loud noise in the other room, accompanied by unmistakable laughter, drew everyone's eyes towards the kitchen. It sounded like Beetlejuice and Lydia were back with their granddaughter… "And I gotta tell you, babes, we oughta be spending tonight in the neitherworld! Biggest night of the year, and you want to spend it with a bunch of breathers…"
"Breathers!" Lydia groaned aloud, the word ending in a sigh. "That's all I ever hear from you! Complaining left and right about breathers! Well I'm a breather too, remember? And I swear, if that's our daughter's first word…" Apparently, they'd rematerializing back into the living world in the middle of a heated debate… One of several they'd been having lately.
"But it's the only night that that bunch of stiffs are worth any laughs!" Lydia came into the room, rolling her eyes, her dark haired mop of a daughter clutched easily in one arm. Beetlejuice followed, hands shoved in his pockets, a look on his face that said he knew he was losing the argument, and didn't like it. "We can hang out with bre- With, whatever, any day!"
It was rather ironic, Adam thought, that for once, he and Beetlejuice were on the same page. But Olivia was right, it was far too late to be raising objections now… And as if to prove it, the doorbell chose that moment to ring. Or rather, to echo its shrill, plaintive wail throughout the house, and raise goosebumps on everyone that heard it.
"Beetlejuice!" Olivia snapped, giving her much begrudged son-in-law an angry stare.
"Wasn't me." He grunted, smirking just a little, so that it was utterly impossible to tell whether he was telling the truth or not. "Why don't you ask the little woman… She's the one so eager to make tonight go off without a hitch!"
"Yes, I am." Lydia agreed, grabbing him by the tie with one hand, and pulling him towards the door. "Now answer that, will you?" He gave her a long, sour look, which she matched with unwavering steadiness, until at last he gave up, and went to answer the door. Damn if he wasn't going to have some fun tonight though, one way or another…
Unsurprisingly, his wife's only two living friends were waiting on the other side of the door eagerly, Bertha in a Morticia Addams outfit, Prudence dressed, oddly enough, as some sort of turtle. He raised an eyebrow at them, grunted, and gestured past himself with an exaggerated flourish.
"Hello, Beetle!" Bertha greeted him enthusiastically, while her friend just sort of smiled, and went to find Lydia. "Wow, you really went all out for Halloween, didn't you?" She tried desperately to look smooth and graceful while striding into the room, and it just made him snicker more when she just about stumbled over her dress, every other step.
But as usual, she didn't mind, just greeting Lydia with a wave and a giggle. Beetlejuice considered the flock of girls with something of a grimace, then shrugged his shoulders. Lydia hardly ever got to see them anymore, with both deep in senior year studies, and her doing the full time mom thing… He could put up with it for one night.
Lydia broke away from her friends rather quickly though, leaving them to her mother to entertain, and moving to his side with her first trace of worry. "You don't think it'll be too scary for Lynn, do you?" She whispered, leaning her weight briefly against his shoulder. "There's no telling what kind of costumes these kids will be wearing…"
"Babes," He drawled matter-of-factly, hooking an arm around his wife for support, "We been taking the kid back and forth with us to the neitherworld for six months now, or something. You really think rubber and make-up are gonna scare her?" He made a rude sound, "She's a Juice, and besides that, she'syour kid too!"
"Hmm." Lydia made a small, noncommittal sound, but she was smiling, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the corner of his jaw. "Well, I'm her mother, I'm supposed to worry about these things. And you, mister…" She began, a look on her face that said he was about to be told to be on his best behavior, only to be cut off by the doorbell, once again. For now, she sighed, and surrendered her point.
Which of course, suited her husband just fine. "Coming…" He snickered, swinging the door open again, to see a matched set of twins in princess costumes, neither older than nine. One, in a white sweeping angelic look, the other with an amused expression, dressed all in black. He almost laughed aloud at the sight. "And what are you supposed to be?" He greeted them, snorting in amusement.
"Princesses!" Greeted the first, a little too enthusiastically, trying not to look intimidated by the hulking stranger in black and white.
"Yin and Yang." Her sister countered, her eyes already moving past him, and taking in the various sights appreciatively. "Guess which is which. So what kinds of party games do you got going on here? It better be good, if I'm missing trick or treating…"
Her sister looked more nervous now. "But it was your idea to come…" She whispered, only to be interrupted as a rather large woman, bereft of costume, loomed up behind them, regarding Beetlejuice through narrowed eyes. For a moment, silence stretched, as he waited for her to say something about taking care of her little 'princesses,' or maybe insisting on staying with them. When she did speak, it was rather irritatingly to the point.
"I want you to know that I would never consider leaving my daughters with you," She informed him bluntly, "If I wasn't assured that Olivia will be here the entire time. I find both you, and your relationship with that Lydia girl, to be highly questionable… I'm well aware that you married her out of high school, and you should know that I most certainly do not approve."
Beetlejuice was by this point, smiling, not because he found her amusing, and certainly not because he was trying to be nice, but because he was already planning what to do to her once she walked out the door again. "However," Their mother was saying now, looking just a tad uncomfortable at the glint in the poltergeist's eyes, "That being said, my husband and I do have a dinner party tonight, and…"
"And you couldn't get a babysitter," He interrupted, cackling a little, "So why not get the kids watched for free? Go on, you little rugrats," He added to the two, stepping aside just a little, "See that big pumpkin over there? It's filled with sour gummy worms. Go rot your teeth out."
Enthusiastically, the two obeyed, and were soon pulling handfuls of candy out of the bottomless container, already shoving some in their pockets. "Real charming little ankle-biters, ain't they?" He mused, turning back to the woman, "Well, we'll try to get them back to you as unscarred as possible… No promises." And with that, he slammed the door in her face, and turned back to observe the blossoming party.
Hell, maybe Lyds was right. Maybe this would be fun. He waited a ten-count, then snapped his fingers, both pulling several shredded corpse-looking things up from the piles of leaves to send the woman on her way, and turning the music on, to muffle her screams. If not quite enough, from the look of twisted humor his wife was giving him.
"I think I'll answer the door from now on." She informed him dryly, settling his daughter lightly in his arms. "You can watch Lynn."
Beetlejuice looked down at the blue eyed cherub, still no telling exactly where she'd gotten blue eyes from, and was forced to smile as she made a grab for his nose. She was always well behaved in Lydia's arms, but the minute she had him under her spell, anything was fair game. "Don't blame me when they piss you off, and you ain't got my juice to back you." He agreed absently, bouncing the child in his arms, as he went to fetch a piece of candy for her, without mommy's interference.
Of course, Lydia knew there were risks to her little gambit, and was dwelling on them even as she went for the door again, but she was determined for their daughter's first Halloween to go off without a hitch. In the company of her family, and other children. They spent enough time in the world of the dead as it was… She didn't want her daughter forgetting that half ghost or not, she was living. Even Beetlejuice had to admit that was worth something.
Her dad greeted her with a small, forced smile as she opened the door, his own eyes clouded with worry. It had been more than a year since he'd set foot in this house, but she knew it would take more than her mother to keep him away tonight. "Hey sweetheart," He murmured, dropping a kiss on her forehead, and pushing a handful of black and orange carnations into her hand, "Did you start without me?"
"It's not really a party until you get here." She smiled, ushering him past. She noted that he walked right past Adam and Barbara without saying a word, spared only a glance for her mother, and went right up to Beetlejuice, falling immediately into small talk.
She grimaced. Her husband and her dad were just about the most unlikely friends she could have named, and from time to time, it did unsettle her a bit, wondering if she was the topic of their conversations. At the moment, for example, Beetlejuice's lit eyes were on her, as he spoke in a low voice to Edmond, quickly followed by his distinctive laughter… Of course, that was probably deliberate. He loved driving her nuts. She'd just have to find some way to return the favor, that was all… She always did.
Lydia shook her head, and went to get a sucker from the bowl on the table, but didn't even have time to unwrap it, before the doorbell rang again. Having had her doubts that any kids would come, she should have been reassured. For some reason though, she was suddenly certain that before the night was over, her husband's idea of spending the night in the neitherworld would seem tame…
But hell if she'd admit it.
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"Come on, babes," Beetlejuice growled, watching his father-in-law in the center of a group of kids, ranging from seven to fourteen, "You're killing me! This is the best part!" His gaze flicked from one of the wide eyed listeners to another, shifting so much that he looked like he was trying to scratch an itch. "How does old Chuck there rate over me?"
"Because dad realizes that he's dealing with kids," Lydia murmured, tucking her side into his arms, and making him calm, if only marginally. "There's no way in hell you're getting scary story privileges… Therapy is expensive."
Beetlejuice made a noncommittal sound, shaking his head. He still looked disgusted. "I'm telling you babes, I know the guy, and the ol' headless hessy's probably spinning in his grave, hearing the story told like that." A faint sneer crossed his lips. "Oh yeah, Ichabod, cross that damn bridge… Like that's gonna save your whiny ass…"
"Hush." Lydia giggled, tickling the edge of his jaw with her fingertips. "What have I told you about using language like that in front of Lynn?" The poltergeist in question frowned a little, and dropped his gaze to the babe in his arms. "That strictly bedroom talk, Beej…"
This of course, just made him grin, and start dropping suggestive murmurs in her ear, of the way he'd just now decided they should be spending Halloween. And she listened, eyes glinting with interest, sliding her arm around him to give the back of his neck a firm squeeze. He chuckled. "Oh baby, do that again…" And gave a slight twitch of his juice that left her with a gasp on her lips, her cheeks quickly bright red.
"Okay," She flustered, backing away from him, "That was just… nasty." But she couldn't quite banish the slight smile on her face, no matter how she protested.
Beetlejuice cackled softly, and adjusted Lynn in his arms, dropping his gaze to her again. She'd been watching the whole exchange with something of an intense interest, and when her father's gaze met hers, she let loose a little giggle of pleasure. "Heh, can always make the kid smile…" He mused, tickling the soft soles of her feet in passing. "Hey babes, is this all there's gonna be of this party? 'Cause…"
Before he could get any further, the lights of the chandelier above suddenly started flickering, making his wife pause, and look up in surprise. "A short?" She frowned, before turning to him with a slight narrowing of her eyes. "Or my husband, trying to keep things interesting?"
"Not me, babes." He protested, trying to look innocent, and failing. Never mind that for once, he actually was innocent… "I gotta tell you, I could do a hell of a lot better than some flashing lights! Give me a little credit, would you?"
"True." She agreed, still a little concerned at the whimpering of some of the smaller children, whose attention had been stolen from the story in question, and was now focused on the flickering bulbs above. "I'll give you nothing, if not creative points in your haunting technique." A sly little grin, as she added in a soft aside, "You are the ghost with the most, after all…"
"And don't you forget it." He agreed in a grumble, trying to sound cross, and managing to look nothing so much as pleased. "Hell, say the word Lyds, I'll make it a real party…" He arched a brow at her, waggling it playfully. "See what shakes loose, you get me?"
"Hmm, well…" She pretended to be thinking it over, but her expression immediately turned puzzled as a low rattling sound filled the living room, as her mother's various knick knacks seemed determined to shift back and forth on their shelves, of their own volition. "Maybe Adam and Barb are feeling left out?" But the words were dubious, and with good reason. She just couldn't see those two, trying to scare a bunch of kids. "Are you sure you're not playing with me, Beej?"
By now of course, the children were getting properly scared, and her father was of course, shooting Beetlejuice a rather nasty look, certain he was the cause. Beetlejuice shrugged, baffled himself, but admittedly more on edge than he was revealing. If someone was crossing on his home without being invited, he was going to have a hell of a lot more than a few words to share with them…
"Damn it," He finally grumbled, as the Halloween decorations suddenly began waving from their places at the wall, straining against their tape, "I'm gonna go see what the hell's going on. Here, hold onto the kid…" He pushed Lynn into Lydia's arms, then, with little concern over who might be watching, vanished from sight without another word.
"I wonder what daddy's up to?" Lydia murmured to her daughter, who just squirmed and laughed again, apparently thrilled to death with the whole thing. It made Lydia smile. "You wouldn't be afraid of things that go bump in the night…" She murmured, placing a light kiss on the bridge of her daughter's nose.
Instantly all the happenings in the room went still, as Lynn made a grab for her mother's hair, eyes bright with amusement. Kid didn't have a serious bone in her body, Lydia reflected, running a light hand over her hair in relief. But the way everything had suddenly gone so still… She cast a glance around the room, her gaze only slowly turning back to her daughter. The kid was Beetlejuice's, after all…
Lynn, growing bored with her mother's lack of attention, gave a little squeal, and clapped her hands, trying to draw Lydia's eyes back to her. Again, the vibrations of various things rumbling in their perches, demanding that people notice. Lydia's eyebrows flew up, not one to miss the obvious, and she sighed, rocking her daughter until things went still again. Halloween, of course. When better?
Beetlejuice chose that moment to appear again, walking through the wall from the kitchen, looking increasingly agitated. "I don't know what the hell's going on," He muttered, cracking his knuckles with his thumb, every bit the protective husband and father, "But when I find out who's messing with us…"
"Beej," Lydia began, intending to share her theory, only for that particular moment to be the one where all hell decided to break loose. Suddenly all the trappings they'd hung with care were sweeping through the air, fragile things straight up falling off her mother's shelves, and shattering into a million pieces… And Lynn watching it all with wide eyes, delighted at the havoc she was wreaking. Clapping, and laughing.
"Damn it!" Beetlejuice roared, starting forward, still oblivious to the cause of it, only to be stopped by Lydia's hand on his arm, and a sharp, pointed stare, "Babes, this is not the time for-"
And then of course, he saw what he should have caught before she did, as Lynn's favorite stuffed toy came careening through the air, and landed in her happy little arms. He looked baffled for the length of a breath, and then a look of sheer delight began spreading across his face, followed quickly by his maddened laughter. "Well, hell, kid!" He chortled, snatching her from her mother's arms. "Looks like someone's been holding out on her old man! You wanted tonight to be special too, eh?"
Lydia too, was thrilled for upwards of a minute, before she abruptly remembered that this wasn't the private little family moment that it should have been. Turning her gaze out into the whimpering crowd of scared kids, Lydia sighed, wracking her brain to think up something suitable.
"Heck of a special effects show, huh kids?" She teased them. To a one, they all looked at her as if she were truly and deeply mad. "What, you wanted Halloween, without any scares? I'll have you know, we are the scariest haunted house in town!"
One of her guests, an odd mop of darkness pulled up in a black dress, suddenly started laughing, unsettling everyone there just that much more. The fact that she was so young though, and apparently unfazed by the display, quickly left the older kids too, chuckling in embarrassment, which in turn, reassured those still younger. Clearly, there was nothing to be afraid of after all…
And fear turns to fun, Lydia mused, once more baffled by the workings of the living mind. What the hell ever. She had more important things to worry about, after all… It seemed that her daughter really was a chip off the old block. As if one of them wasn't enough!
"Beej," She whispered under her breath, nudging him towards the stairs, "I think maybe Lynn's had enough Halloween fun for one night. Why don't you put her down to bed, and… Maybe we can clean some of this mess up, before someone gets hurt."
"You wanted a night to remember!" He pointed out, planting his feet on the spot, and refusing to budge. "Come on babes, this is her first real haunting gig… Let the kid enjoy it!" Lydia of course, didn't know what to say to that. If they hadn't been kids, she'd probably be encouraging her daughter right along with him, after all. But with as little grasp as the girl had to have on these inherited little gifts…
"Congratulations," A dry voice suddenly muttered, as the air around them filled with a markedly familiar odor, "Looks like it's a poltergeist, kids."
Lydia looked up in surprise to see Juno emerging from her usual cloud of smoke, a look of thinly pressed patience set on her lips. "Put that out!" The goth girl snapped, on reflex, making the ancient ghost pause in surprise. "No one smokes around Lynn, not Beetle, not you!"
After staring at her oddly for a moment, Juno finally flicked her cigarette away obediently. "Right." She grumbled, looking annoyed. "Well come on, unless you want to have this discussion in front of a bunch of breathing minors…"
A glance around soon ensured that they were indeed the center of attention, in such a way that Lydia had to wonder if the woman with the widely sliced throat was, in fact, making herself visible to them as well. "To the nursery." She agreed weakly, grabbing Beetlejuice by the arm, and pulling him towards the stairs. "Mom, dad… Take over for a minute, will you?" The looks she received in answer were anything but reassuring. But there would be time later to worry about that.
Only once the door between them and the rest of the house was shut, did Lydia breathe with any kind of relief, turning to the woman that she really was never happy to see. "So she's got powers," She agreed, albeit a little shortly, "No kidding. Did you show up just to tell us this? Or are you here for a social visit?"
Juno was once again taken aback by Lydia's forceful attack on her person, but this time somewhat less so. "She has powers," She agreed, a little crossly herself, "And that is why I'm here. I'm to bind them, until the girl is mature enough to-"
"Bind them!" Beetlejuice hissed, his green eyes flashing in fury. "Hell with that! You're not binding my kid's powers!"
"Well fortunately, it's not up to you, Beetle." Juno informed him flatly, flashing an impatient little smile. "And for all her other shortcomings when it's come to common sense, I'm hoping that Lydia realizes how dangerous a child with your power would be!" Lydia was speechless as the ghost woman turned to her, expectantly. "Or isn't one insane poltergeist enough for you?"
"Lyds would never…" Beetlejuice began, still dangerously, only to be cut off by an impatient wave of Juno's arm. "Tell her, babes!" Lydia frowned, forcing herself to think it over, and not just answer in the heat of the moment, as Beetlejuice had. "Babes!" Her husband's voice had grown desperate, "Tell her you wouldn't!"
"No," Lydia whispered finally, slowly, "Hell no." She lifted her gaze, dark eyes glinting with the intensity she'd earned from her father, and her daughter from her. The eyes of an old soul. The gaze of someone not about to yield way. "Hell no. Whatever happens, Beej and I will handle it."
Juno looked visibly disappointed, but not altogether surprised. "You realize she'll have a record kept on her." She informed them both, rather distastefully. "And minor or not, if she causes trouble, she will be expected to answer for it. Think about that. And if you change your mind, you know where to find me." She plucked her cigarette back out of nothing, and was gone in a plume of white, still shaking her head in disapproval.
Lydia let out a slow breath, to find Beetlejuice looking at her with a frown. "Tell me you weren't actually thinking about it, babes…" He protested in a soft voice, only to be met by a tolerant, somewhat weary smile from his wife. "You like driving me crazy…" He growled, taking her into his arms, holding their daughter between them. "No way you'd take our kid's powers!"
"No," She agreed softly, resting her head against the unstable poltergeist's shoulder, her eyes cast down to the rather puzzled Lynn, who had no idea what sort of fate she'd just been spared, or consigned to. "I'll regret it though… Especially when the new baby's born."
Beetlejuice suddenly went very still, his arms still around her. He didn't push her away far enough to look down, but his voice, when he spoke, was rough. "Something you're trying to tell me, Lyds?" He grunted, sounding like he wasn't quite sure how to take her little jab. "'Cause, I mean…" And that was as far as he went, because he wasn't really sure what he meant.
"And this one conceived when you're not even slightly alive." She agreed, pushing him back, her eyes flashing with amusement. "Beej… You're going to be a father again. I was just waiting for the right time to tell you."
For a long moment, he just stared at her, then let loose a string of curses, none louder than a whisper. "It can't be me," He said at last, just a hint of a smile beginning to show on his face, "Until you came around, I never got a broad pregnant in six hundred years… It's gotta be all you, Lyds."
"Like you had nothing to do with it!" Lydia scoffed, still unsure exactly how he was taking this. When he turned pointedly away from her, to put Lynn in her bed, her smile actually gave way to a frown. Well hell, she'd told him she wanted a lot of kids… And he'd certainly never raised any objections when it came to making them!
Suddenly he spun on her with a wild whoop, grabbing her in both arms, and swinging her into the air like a child. "My babes!" He crowed matter-of-factly, before pulling her down, and sweeping her back until her long hair brushed the floor. Then, grinning devilishly, he gave her a long, very enthusiastic kiss, effectively taking her breath away. His lips demanding, his hands no less so…
Lydia finally broke the kiss with a gasp, looking up at the grinning poltergeist with a little laugh. "We're never going to make it back downstairs, are we?" She giggled, as he yanked her into his arms, like a bride about to be carried across the thresh-hold.
"Hell no!" He informed her matter-of-factly, kicking the door open with his foot, their bedroom already his clear destination. "Leave that mess for the in-laws to sort out… Hell, babes." He dropped her to their bed, his eyes dancing with mischief, "What's Halloween without a little trouble?"
And all she could do was giggle as he descended on her neck with tiny, lingering kisses, his hungry fingers already peeling away her black dress. "What were you supposed to be tonight, anyway?" He murmured, his words eclipsed by her hair.
"Me?" She crooned, wriggling a little under his touch. "I'm supposed to be that trouble, Beej… Happy Halloween." And after that, any words would have been wasted anyway.
God, she loved this holiday…
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