I was thinking, the other night, (in the shower, where else?) that J. K. Rowling hardly ever mentions Harry taking a shower or going to the toilet. Of course, I've harnessed this unknown area and turned it into some warped story with the Marauders, Lily Evans and her two friends. And remember, I just took the characters from J. K. They're not really mine. I call it:
Shower Thoughts
Monday
James Potter
Oh my God, why did I say that? How mad am I? She will never talk to me again; never will I see her perfect lips part to yell an insult at me or to scream at me to leave her alone and stop stalking her. Why did I say what I – Shit, I dropped the soap. I wonder what sort of soap Lily uses? All I know is, it smells wonderful and – Sirius has been using my shampoo again. How dare he! Anyway, in the mornings, after her shower, she smells kind of –
"Prongs, stop trying to drown yourself! Get over it!"
"And out of the shower! Peter stinks!"
Emmeline Vance
Geez, he asks her a question, she just stands there, stares at him and – I wish Dorcas would stop using my conditioner! Where was I? Oh yeah, she just stands there, stares at him, then mutters, "Come on…Em…Dorkie." She must have been pretty dumbstruck though, calling Dorcas Dorkie…and in front of Black too! I'm surprised Dorcas didn't hit her. And – Oh! The water's gone cold. Oops. Better get out then.
Peter Pettigrew
Hehe. James will never know that I use his strawberry scented soap. It doesn't really work anyway. I can still smell myself. It's not fair. Why is it me that always smells? And why does everyone have to point it out? And why does everyone, including that guy who doesn't use deodorant, smell better than me? It's not like I asked to have a body odour. And yet everyone still tells me so. Why don't they just drop it? It's not like they can claim they smell of roses all the time. Some of them after Quidditch, oh boy –
"Peter, just because you spend half an hour in the shower, does not mean you smell any better!"
"And stop using my soap!"
Dorcas Meadowes
Lily is such an idiot. She should have just answered him, instead of saying, "Come on," to me and Em. And she called me Dorkie! The nerve! I'll get her…when she starts acting normal again. But ever since this year started, and she found out Potter was Head Boy along with her being Head Girl, she went all weird. Started to get, I dunno, jumpy around Po –
"Emmeline, bring my towel back!"
Sirius Black
How could James have asked her such a question? Merlin, sometimes Prongs is such a git. I mean, what did he expect her to say? "Oh James, I must conf-" – Oh God the pain! My eyes! There is soap in my eyes and I can't see!
"Moony! Prongs! Wormtail! Somebody! Help! I can't see!"
"Oh, what did you do – Padfoot, what happened to your eyes?"
"The soap! It attacked me Moony! I've gone blind!"
"So have I. Can you at least get a towel on?"
"Where from? Like I can see it!"
"But didn't you buy the hot pink one so that –"
"I'M BLIND! YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE A HOT PINK TOWEL WHEN I'M BLIND?"
"Calm down! Oh great, now there's water everywhere…"
"I can't – AARGH!"
"I said, there's water everywhere."
Lily Evans
Why did I do what I did? I should have just answered him; how stupid am I to have just walked off? And Dorcas is going to get me so bad for calling her Dorkie…and in front of Black! Boy, am I in for it. She is going to – Eek! This water is freezing! Emmeline and Dorcas used all the hot water again…hmph. Hey, where's my towel?
"You guys used all of the hot water!"
"We also stole your towel! Follow a series of clues, each more difficult than the last, until –"
"Found it."
"I told you to make the hiding place less obvious."
Remus Lupin
Showers are so boring. They give you too much time to think. And then you forget to wash yourself. That's probably why Peter smells. He gets so caught up in his thoughts, though I doubt he has many, that he forgets to wash himself. I would never do things like that. Not me. Not – Oh, almost forgot to use soap. What was I – Oh yeah. Not me. Not Remus Lupin. I never – wait, I just – Oh, bother it.
