Basically this was born out of my frustration that Rachel McAdams' best line was cut out of the first Sherlock Holmes movie, and the whole Crowley/Dean dynamic now presented me with the perfect opportunity to use it myself. :)

Unbetaed, so apologies for any mistakes or Un-Americanisms.


At The Black Spur

"My ass, you're lousy at this. It's like teaching Sammy all over again," Dean complained and threw his dart at the board with a casual flick of his wrist. Nice, Kate thought admiringly, pushing her way through the crowd, smiling left and right and taking down orders from all directions. Though there's something indecent about looking so sexy while playing darts. From what she could see Crowley looked slightly less impressed. "Don't you keep any dartboards downstairs?"

"Did you notice any on your last trip?"

Kate smiled to herself. Who'd have thought grown men could sound so catty?

Dean scowled at him. "No, but I thought you might have redecorated."

"I guess I've been waiting for a woman's touch," Crowley drawled with a meaningful nod. "However you want to refurbish my treasured hell of a home will meet my fullest approval. And you need never fear exceeding your pin-money."

A snigger escaped Kate which she hastily masked as a cough. "Can I get you guys anything?" she asked, doing her best not to think of balls and breeches.

Ignoring her entirely, Dean said, "How generous of you… Carson."

"The butler? I'm mortified."

Two dudes talking Downton Abbey, Kate registered with astonishment, in my bar, and pinched herself hard. She was definitely thinking about orgies in breeches now.

"You should feel mortified by your strike rate."

Crowley smirked, all suave and superior. "Please. I only hit the really important goals."

"Pity. I hit everything," Dean retorted, aiming the dart in his hand straight at Crowley's face.

And everyone, Kate thought. She cleared her throat.

"Get that out of my face," Crowley protested.

"It's not in your face, it's in my hand."

"Get what's in your hand out of my face."

Quoting famous movie couples now – what's next? Trading kisses in the rain? Kate wondered. And why, if my life has suddenly decided to turn into a movie, why the hell am I still in the audience?

After what felt like an eternal staring match to her, Dean dropped his hand accompanied by a flirtatious wiggle of his eyebrows, and finally turned to Kate. "An El Sol for me, and he'll have your sweetest, pinkest Strawberry Daiquiri."

Kate expected Crowley to argue, but he merely murmured, squinting slightly, "Love it when you get all bossy."

Kate went back to the bar to pour the drinks. She wasn't sorry that she didn't catch Dean's reply. "Those two!" she exclaimed with an exaggerated sigh, rolling her eyes in the direction of the dartboards.

"What?" Ann Marie asked, also glancing over at Dean and Crowley, voice and smile lightly teasing.

"Don't get me wrong, yours is very hot, especially the hair, and Crowley's quite dapper too, and they both tip very well… But they're kind of freaking me out when they're trying to figure out who tops and you never know if you should call them an ambulance or simply hand them a couple of rubbers…"

"Don't worry," Ann Marie said, "they've been flirting like this for hours."

Kate giggled. "Crowley join you upstairs too then?"

"Yeah he did," Ann Marie replied, her face expressionless.

"No! Oh my God!" Kate cried out, almost dropping the bottle of rum she was holding.

Ann Marie's face split into an impish grin. "Afterwards, of course. What did you think?"

Kate laughed. "Exactly what you wanted me to." Sobering, she added, "I don't think he wants to be saved, honey."

"Crowley?" Ann Marie asked jokingly. Then she frowned. "I'm not so sure. Most of the time he's an absolute dick, but then there's these moments…"

"Where he's pathetically happy to let you mother him?" Kate suggested.

"That's one way of putting it."

"It's the only way of putting it. Never trust a man who wants you to suck him off first and then expects you to suckle him, that's my motto."

"Feel free to tell me 'I told you so' two or three days from now, when it all goes to hell."

"You know I never do that."

Ann Marie smiled, a little wistful. "Maybe you should."

"I most certainly shouldn't. I'm way too messed up for that myself." Kate shrugged and placed the drinks she'd prepared on a tray. Looking up, she saw Crowley and Dean head over to the foosball table. Dean winked in their direction, undoubtedly meant for Ann Marie, not for her. Of course not for her. If only she had a little more sense, she might even be glad about that. Crowley was watching them shrewdly. "But if he turns out to be a complete dickhead, I'll remind you that at least that way Crowley won't want to make you into a rug."

"Now there's something to look forward to," Ann Marie said and laughed.