Title: The Pillory Experiment
Author: Xanti
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine but the storyline is.
Spoilers: None
A/N: I was advised to give a brief description of a pillory for those of you that are not familiar with the word, so here goes...
The pillory was a device used for the punishment of criminals during the 1800's. Typically, it was a wooden structure made of hinged boards, that enclosed the criminals neck and wrists. Members of the public would humiliate the criminal with jeering or the throwing of projectiles.
Grissom approached the tomato warily. He had witnessed some fairly bizarre crime scenes and this one rated right up there with the best of them. The victim had been found shackled in a replica of an olden day pillory and at first impression, seemed to have been pummelled to death by various types of vegetables. The exact cause of death however, was still to be determined.
For now though, Grissom had one thing in mind and that was to find out as much as he could from the human tomato in front of him. From behind it was impossible to tell whether a male or female occupied the suit, a pair of red nylon legs were his only clue. If he had to hazard a guess, he would say female, based purely upon the size of the dainty feet, which were clad in red ballet slippers.
"Uh…excuse me," he said, addressing the person in front of him.
The tomato turned, allowing Grissom a better view. Although covered in a thick layer of red face paint, it was clear to see that the tomato was indeed of the female variety. "Can I help you?" she asked shrilly.
"Yes actually you can, Miss…?" probed Grissom.
"Tomato," responded the woman. "Tammy Tomato."
Grissom stared at her in disbelief. "Okay Miss Tomato, I need to ask you a few questions about your event here tonight." Turning to indicate a person in a bright orange costume he continued, "Caspar Carrot over there informed me that you are the organiser," he said, raising an eyebrow for confirmation.
"That's correct," replied Tammy. "I arrange the annual conference for our small but dedicated group of vegetarians." She let out a sigh and she shook her head regretfully. "Tonight was our last night, it was supposed to be fun," she said, trailing off as she stared at the now empty pillory.
"How will did you know the victim?" Grissom asked, snapping Tammy out of her trance.
"I didn't really," she replied. "I placed an ad asking for someone to take part in a harmless re-enactment of old fashioned punishment."
"So you paid him to let you and your companions throw vegetables at him," Grissom clarified.
"Yes," answered Tammy. "But no-one was supposed to get hurt, we even partially cooked the vegetables so that they wouldn't inflict any injuries. I don't know what went wrong," she said, becoming silent once again.
Sensing that he would get nothing more from her tonight, Grissom politely thanked her and walked over to where Sara was taking photos of the scene.
"Hey," she said as he approached. "Find out anything useful?"
"Not really," replied Grissom with a sigh. "A small group of vegetarians end their conference by throwing half cooked vegetables at a complete stranger who has his wrists and neck shackled in a wooden frame. Is it just me, or does this job continue to get more and more bizarre?" he mused.
"Yeah," replied Sara. "I thought you and Catherine hit the "weirdo" jackpot when you had that case with the animal suits."
"Me too," agreed Grissom. "Hey," he said, cocking his head to one side as he studied the woman in front of him. "You don't have a vegetable costume, lurking in your wardrobe do you?" he asked playfully.
"Why?" replied Sara, with a smirk. "Do you feel a need to be shackled and punished?"
Grissom smiled back at her, a number of suitable responses mulling around in his head, but none appropriate to voice. "When you're finished here, get that thing transported back to the lab," he said waving towards the T-shaped structure, attempting to change the subject.
"So I take it that means yes," Sara challenged, eyes twinkling dangerously.
Grissom chuckled. "See you back at the lab."
A few hours later Grissom sat in his office, working on a request for new equipment when his pager interrupted his train of thought. 'Meet me in the garage, I have a theory,' read the message. Deciding that sounded much more appealing than his current task, he set off to investigate.
When he arrived at the garage, he saw Sara standing by the pillory, which had been set up in the corner, on top of a sheet of plastic. "So what's your theory?" he asked, walking closer.
"Well," she said, turning to look at him. "I just came from the morgue. Seems our victim had a large contusion on his temporal lobe, consistent with being hit with a blunt object."
"So our victim was stoned to death?" asked Grissom, spreading his hands in question.
"Actually, no," replied Sara. "Official cause of death was asphyxiation, caused by pressure on the windpipe."
Grissom smiled at her as he followed her train of thought. Walking round the back of the pillory, he placed his wrists and hands in the holes provided. "So our victim would have been standing in this position," he said.
"And Miss Tomato would have closed the board around his neck, like so," continued Sara, moving the upper board into place around Grissom's neck.
Grissom tried to turn his head as he heard a small click. "Did you just lock that?" he asked, a touch of panic entering his voice.
Sara walked around to stand in front of him and dangled a small silver key in front of his face. "Just trying to make the experiment realistic," she chirped, turning to walk away.
"Hey," yelled Grissom. "You can't leave me like this!"
"Who said anything about leaving," called Sara over her shoulder as she retrieved a bucket from a nearby shelf. Reaching in she pulled out a large juicy tomato and walked back towards Grissom.
"Don't even think about it Sara," warned Grissom through gritted teeth.
Sara smiled evilly. "Well now, the experiment wouldn't be complete without vegetables," she said, tossing the tomato from hand to hand.
"I'm warning…agh," Grissom was cut off as the tomato hit him square on the forehead.
A large whoop came from Sara's direction. "What a shot!" she cried, slapping her thigh as she doubled over in laughter. The sight of Grissom before her, spluttering through pulp and juice as it ran down his face, was too funny for words.
Eventually she composed herself and grabbed a towel from the nearby shelf. She walked back to Grissom and began wiping the juice from his eyes.
"Paybacks are a bitch Sara," growled Grissom, as she mopped up the splattered tomato from his face and released him from his imprisonment.
Sara leaned in close to his ear. "I'm counting on it," she whispered.
Grissom shivered involuntarily at her warm breath on the side of his face and pulled back to look at her, aware that he was still covered in bits of tomato. She chuckled as he picked debris from his beard.
THE END
