Dear Cridhe,
Today, Halloween has come once again. Oh, how I dread Halloween. I can only confide in you, Cridhe, my heart, of my hatred towards this holiday. Since my fifth year, I have come to loath all festivities in the castle that celebrate this particular holiday. From the floating pumpkins, to the Halloween treaties, I can only hold bitterness towards this holiday, yet I am expected to bear it with a smile. I eat with my house, play friends with people I once knew as family, and fake normalcy while my life crumble around the edges. I have no kinship, lost in a depression that I am aware of, yet have no ability to ward off.
Today, I sat, a quite figure, in the Great Hall. I observed the people around me, smiled when it was necessary, I laughed as well, joining in when needed to keep appearances. All the while clutching the potions book I kept on my person constantly. Surprisingly, besides you, Cridhe, the only thing that comforts me is the Slytherin wit I find upon the pages of the Advanced Potion-Making hardback. Somehow, it reminds me of a certain blonde Slytherin that I pretend to hate, but in reality gives me no adverse thought besides envy, for his ability to show his true emotion without letting down expectations. Sometimes, I wish I had taken the proffered hand at the beginning of first year. If offered again, I would certainly take it without a second's thought. Sadly, I will most likely never get that chance again.
So, sitting there next to Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, I pretended to be the Harry Potter everyone believed I was.
(Flashback to earlier)
"Hey mate, why are you always holding that potions book?" Ron asked.
"Yeah Harry, it is quite peculiar, you never showed an interest in potions before now," said Hermione.
"You never put it down!" exclaimed Ginny.
"Will you just leave it," I told them, about to put the book into one of the many expanded pockets in my robes.
Ron grabs the book, and opens it to the "Half-Blood Prince's" signature page.
Hermione peeks over Ron shoulder and says, "Harry, who is the 'Half-Blood Prince'?"
"I don't know, it was there when I got the book. Can you give me the book now?"
Hermione takes the book off of Ron while Ron says, "Why would you want some book written in by some bloke you've never met? I mean it's all ragged too."
I was about to respond to Ron and ask for his book back when Hermione gasped.
"Harry! You have been cheating! I just knew you couldn't receive better grades then me without cheating! I can't believe you would do this!"
Ginny spoke up then. "Just because you're the boy-who-lived doesn't mean you can cheat! How could you do that?"
Ron then said, "Always thinking you can get away with anything."
"You probably love how you got the book!" Ron says with venom.
I shoot up and reach across the table, clutching the book only to pull it from Hermione's hands. Slipping the book into the pocket I had meant to put it in before, I gathered my things in a rush, making sure not to forget anything.
"If this is how you feel about, how could you stand being near me if I was so terrible," I growled and swiftly turned to leave.
Rushing out of the Great Hall, I headed towards the stairs, intent on a room Neville and I had discovered trying to find the loo for Nev. Once I reached the stairs, I climbed seven flights of stairs and turned left. Walking a little ways I came across the clear wall. Passing back and forth in front of the wall three times I ask in my mind, "I need a place to cool down and relax without leveling the whole school."
After the third passing, Harry looked towards the wall to see a bright green door with a brown handle. Grasping the handle, I pushed the door to step in and closed it before looking at the room.
I was shocked still. The room was beautiful, appearing to be a forest clearing. With patch of soft grass and beautiful flowers of all kinds scattered here and there. Jumping out of my stupor, I went over and laid down on the grass patch and just relaxed. Looking up at the cloudless sky and let the slight breeze wash over me. Releasing my restrained magic, I felt it spread around the room and calm. Thankfully I got here in time before I lost control. I know my magic would have most like hurt if not killed everyone in a seven mile radius and damaged Hogwarts without giving her proper warning. It had recently started worrying me how much magic I was losing control of.
With my magic released and calm, my body started to sag into the grass, and I knew I was about to fall asleep. Closing my eyes, I relaxed completely and started to dose. I dreamt of magical creatures and communicating with a lady incarnate of magic.
