A/N: This story is heavily edited from the original. So many people enjoyed the story the first time around, but after rereading I knew revisions needed to be remade to make it better than before. This story was my first Divergent fanfiction, and as most of you knew before there are no factions mentioned, however, I will be keeping many of the same elements from Divergent and from the original posting.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Veronica Roth owns the Divergent Trilogy.
CHAPTER 1 – NEW
Tris Prior's POV
September 3rd. It's the first day.
My parents have sent my brother and I to a boarding school in Chicago. We didn't do anything wrong, they just assume the education provided is a lot better. I can't complain much either, it was a hard decision for my parents, knowing we would be away from home for nine months, but I'm not going alone at least.
Being away from home is a new experience for me, and for Caleb. Caleb's nose is shoved into his books; he has barely spoken to me since we got on the train this morning. I don't know how long it's been, but I know we've still got a while to go.
Caleb loves reading, my parents joke that he will marry a book someday. He has already finished a book from this morning, now he's on a collection of the advancement in technology. I don't have much interest in the same things he does. I guess that's what makes us difference, it balances us out because he knows what he wants to do someday. I don't, not yet.
He's just recently turned eighteen, so he will move on to college next year. Unlike me, at seventeen, I will still have one more year to think about my career choice. Although I think he's always known, regardless.
I still feel like I look about fourteen. I'm short, maybe about a foot shorter than Caleb.
I have no idea what to expect at our new school. Will people like me here? Or will it just be another year that I remain silent while I watch everyone around me having fun and making friends. I've never really been likable.
My eyes are trained on the scenery smearing past us. I don't realize I'm biting my nails until Caleb reaches across our seats and pulls my hand away, "Beatrice, you're not gonna have any nails left if you keep that up."
"Sorry," I mumble, dropping them on to my lap, "you're not nervous?" I ask him. He shakes his head and shrugs at me. I sigh, it can't just be me.
"Mom and dad have everything set up. Don't worry." I'm glad he can be so calm about all of this; I don't think I'll ever understand how he does it. He's just brave, I guess. Or fearless.
I return my gaze to the window and curl up on the seat. It's going to be a long ride, Chicago is pretty far from New York. Almost 22 hours by train, Caleb's voice from last night rings in my head. I sigh.
We didn't always live in New York; my father's job had us on the move quite a lot a few years ago. Caleb and I are just going back to Chicago, we had always lived there up until we were fourteen. So in a way, it's good be going back home.
"I wonder if anything's changed," I say. Caleb glances up from his book again.
"I don't know," he finally says, "maybe."
"I know it's only been a couple years, but things always change." He nods, I can see it from the corner of my eye.
"We'll be on the other side of Chicago, you know."
"I know." I reply, "but that doesn't mean we can't always go back to see, sometime." We fall silent again; I can hear the wheels scraping against the tracks, with the rumble of the train just beneath us. Some of my nerves disappear as I think of how much I've missed home; maybe I'm not so nervous anymore.
xXxXx
"Boys dormitories are on the bottom floor, and girls dormitories are upstairs. No boys in a girl's dormitory, no girl in a boy's dormitory. Siblings are no exception. Precautionary reasons. Your roommates will help you around the place, so hopefully you will get a feel for the campus. My name is Jeanine Matthews, but you will refer to me as Ms. Matthews. I am the dean of this school, if there are any problems, you can come and see me. I am usually always here, unless away on a conference." She smiles, but I can tell we're just another pair of new students to her. Caleb thanks her, while I remain silent, and we head to our rooms.
I say goodnight to him, because I don't believe I'll be coming back down to see him tonight. I'm too tired as it is; I just want to take a shower and get into bed. There aren't a lot of stairs, thankfully. My room key says I will be looking for room 213. It's not hard to locate, it's one of the first few rooms after the second turn in the hall. I stick the key into the lock and twist. The room is dark when I open the door, so my roommate must be out.
This is going to be a little more awkward; I was actually hoping she would be here so we could get our greetings out of the way. Now I'll have to stay up, because I don't want to fall asleep if I don't know her.
It was almost eight o'clock when we got here. It is dark outside, and from the windows in my room I can see into the courtyard outside. There are students all over the campus, playing games, talking, sitting. Maybe she's just out there.
The courtyard is lit up, so I don't bother turning the lights on.
There are two beds; one has sheets already on it and the other is barren. I get to work and make my bed, filling the draws underneath it with my clothes so that I can put my suitcase out of the way. It's just a bedroom, so I'll have no choice but to ask her where the bathrooms are when she gets in.
I suspect about an hour has passed by now, and I am still alone. I suddenly wonder if Caleb's roommate has gotten in yet. If so, I hope they're getting along. Being alone gives me time to think, and time to think makes me wonder who she could be.
What if she's not happy to see me? Or we don't get along? Can I request a new room, or do I have to endure tense silence for the rest of the year?
I feel a walk would help me, so I get up and grab my room key, shoving it into my pocket. There are some people lingering out in the main hallway when I get downstairs. I think about going into the courtyard, but I don't know anybody yet.
I feel a nudge on my shoulder, and turn around to see a girl about a few inches shorter than me, "Hey, you must be Prior." I nod.
"How do you know my name?"
"The lost look on your face was a dead giveaway," she smiles, "I'm your roommate, Christina. I thought about going upstairs to greet you, but I figured you might want your space for a while. So I thought I'd wait and see if you'd come down."
"So, what are all these people doing out here?" I ask, motioning towards the courtyard.
"Lights stay on until curfew. And nobody really cares that we hang out outside when it's nice. It's just them giving us some leeway. But even around curfew, nobody actually goes to sleep," she smirks, "some of us know our way out without getting caught. Or we just hang out in someone's room."
"Isn't that like...not allowed?" I say. Christina laughs, shaking her head.
"Of course it's not. We'll corrupt you," she grins, "you gotta have a little fun; and what's fun without some risks? Come on, I'll introduce you to some of my friends." She leads me out into the courtyard, towards a group of people by one of the large trees. They're laughing about something when Christina and I stop in front of them. "Hey guys, meet our new friend and my new roommate, Beatrice."
"Uh...just Tris," I say.
"Tris," Christina nods, "well, Tris, this is my boyfriend, Will. And that, is his friend, Al. And that is Uriah."
"The one and only," Uriah's grin is infectious. He takes a bow.
"Nice to meet you, Tris," Will says, extending a hand towards me. I take his hand, hesitantly, and shake it twice.
"You too," I reply a little more confidently.
"She's just a little shy," Christina adds, "but we'll break her out of her shell, right guys?"
"Right!" The three grin.
I find myself a little more at ease with them as time passes. The stories I've heard, I wouldn't believe they were capable of if I were an outsider watching them interact. But I've gotten to know them, at least a little bit, as we've talked.
On the other side of the yard, the lights begin to shut off, "Curfew time, guys." Christina says, nudging my arm, "You know what that means," she says, glancing between me and them.
"Uh...what does that mean?" I ask her.
"We're gonna go to the pit. Wanna come with?" Uriah asks me. I'm not sure if I want to; I just got here, and if I already get in trouble that's not gonna look good. But Christina said that they all have ways of getting out undetected. I'm sure this is something my parents—and Caleb, for that matter—would disagree with me doing.
I want to say no, but it's tempting to say yes.
"Okay," I eventually nod, "I'll go for a little."
"Yeah, see I knew you'd warm up to us sooner or later," Christina says, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
xXxXx
When we get there, Christina drags me up to the roof of a building. I feel uneasy as we step towards the ledge, "it's not so bad, the wind isn't rough tonight," Will comments, standing on the ledge. "Should we let her go first?"
"First for what?" I ask.
"Jumping," Al answers, resting on the ledge, "you gotta jump to get into the pit this way." I glance over the side, my stomach tightening as I see how far down it is. It's a giant black hole in the middle of the pavement below.
"You want me to jump? All the way down there?" I cry, "This is what you guys do for fun? Isn't this like movie stuff?" Now I really begin to wonder what I've gotten myself into. Christina laughs.
"It's not that bad," Christina reassures me, "we've done this before. There's a net at the bottom, it'll catch you."
"Unless I hit the pavement," I retort. They laugh, shaking their heads. I feel determined now, to prove them wrong about me. I think about it; they welcomed me so easily, if they wanted to hurt me wouldn't they have done it already? Plus, they don't seem like the type to viciously trick people. "...Fine, I'll jump."
"You go, girl!" Christina cheers, clapping. "Don't think, just jump." I am able to balance myself on the ledge, staring down at the gaping hole I'm about to jump down into. If I hit the pavement, that's it. So I don't close my eyes.
I step off, and the air pulls me down at a rapid pace; I'm terrified, but too exhilarated to think straight. I don't think about the dangers anymore, I am down, below the opening when I come to a stop shortly after. The net bounces, throwing me back up into the air a few times before it stops.
There's nobody else in the room but me, and then suddenly a scream sounds from above and Christina lands in a heap beside me. Her chin hits my shoulder, and she winces but laughs it off.
"Damn, I thought you had gotten out of this thing already," she says, rolling herself off to the edge. She climbs down from the net and helps me get my feet on the ground. We wait for Al and Will to get down, and then they lead me through a large corridor that heads to a stairwell.
The noise from the end gets louder as we get closer, and when we turn we enter an even larger room below. There's a glass roof, held up by pillars, at the top of the cavern's opening. I can see the stars because of how high up we are but then Christina tugs on my arm and we go down to where the other people are.
"Hey, Christina," a boy calls out, motioning her over. He's quite intimidating looking, with two piercings just above his right eyebrow. And his ears. The tattoo on his neck also stands out to me, but it looks like tires have run over him.
"Eric, this is my friend Tris," Christina shouts over the noise, "she's new."
"I can tell," he says, looking me over. I'm not sure if I should feel disgusted or suspicious of his staring. He looks at me like a piece of meat, something to chew up and spit out. Then he snorts, "She's clean."
"Clean?" I ask Will.
"It means you don't have any tattoos, or piercings." Will says. I look over the three that brought me here and only see a sliver of a tattoo on Christina's arm. I see no piercings or tattoos on the other two.
"You thinking of changing that?" Eric asks; it's directed at me. I shake my head.
"I wasn't," I answer. What would my tattoo even look like? Piercings didn't seem that flattering to me either.
"Okay," he shrugs after a moment. I release a breath I didn't know I had been holding in. "So, why did you think it was a good idea to bring her to the pit?"
"She looked like she needed some fun," Christina says, "she's new; she was probably gonna come here eventually. Sooner just seemed better." There's a girl that walks up beside Eric; she has long, black hair and a thin face. She eyes me, almost the exact same way Eric had. I know I stand out, I look nothing like any of them. My clothes aren't as dark, I don't even wear make-up.
"Who's she?" I am feeling a little tired of the scrutinizing stares.
"Who are you?" I retort, less threatening than I mean to, but still with some conviction. The others seemed stunned, while the girl just smirks.
"Tori," she answers, "...didn't look like you had any guts. Guess I was wrong."
"You're not the first person to underestimate me," I say. Christina laughs beside me, and Eric suppresses a grin. Will and Al don't even bother hiding theirs'.
"Watch yourself," Tori says, stalking past me. She bumps into my shoulder, and mutters, "welcome to the pit." And then she's gone. Christina is no longer laughing, she's applauding me again.
"Welcome to the pit, indeed." She says, "I take it, Tori will tolerate you. She's kind of a hard person to impress."
"Well, Stiff," Eric smirks, taking a step towards me, "Maybe you do belong here. You'll just need to do something so nobody can cross you anymore. Enjoy the fun. See you guys later." He goes in the same direction as Tori, and Christina leads me to one of the tables.
"Want something to drink?" She asks, "pick your poison." By poison, I'm assuming none of this is non-alcoholic. I've never drank before – I'm not even sure that I want to now. I shake my head at her and she shrugs, "fine. More for me." She grins. She doesn't judge me on it either, she just doesn't care.
Maybe I could fit in here.
xXxXx
I'm not even sure how, but Will had gotten us out through a back doorway. He was supporting Christina the whole way back; is she always like this? I don't think I am bothered by it, but it's new to me. On the rest of the way, back to our dorm, Will leaves her with me. I'm not exactly the strongest person, so supporting her is a struggle but I manage.
She collapses onto her bed, and I get into mine. I'm glad tomorrow is a Saturday, so she can recover and later tell me the schedules I will have to follow.
xXxXx
My first night wasn't bad. I imagined a much bumpier beginning, but Christina made things easier. I still am not too sure how well I'll get along with Eric, or Tori, but they're older so I won't be crossing their paths as much. Hopefully.
Christina stirs awake, barely lifting her head off her pillow. She whimpers, and clutches at her forehead. I can only imagine the pain she's in, "T-tris... damn..." I know I should have stopped her, or at the very least, made her wait a little while in between drinks. But I suspect this isn't her first time being hungover.
"I'm awake," I say quietly.
"Don't let this..." she gags a little, "don't let this version of me make you think bad of me."
"It doesn't," I reassure her, "just uh...just try to get some more sleep."
"I think – I think there are rocks in my head, rolling around," she says. I can't help but laugh a little; I know she's in pain, but she's entertaining, "I need water."
"We could go down and get breakfast," I offer, "though, I'm not too sure you really wanna walk right now."
"If I do, I think I'll fall over."
"Should I go down, and bring you back a bottle?"
"Please," she begs, turning to lay on her stomach. I stand up and head towards the closet to get dressed. I don't drag it out, I hurry up so I don't keep her waiting. I'm a little lost at first, but I see a sign across the courtyard that says 'CAFETERIA' so I head that way.
There's a machine right inside the entryway, filled with water bottles. I open the door and reach inside to grab one. I don't even notice another person in the room until the door almost slams shut on my arm. I cry out, stunned, wrenching my arm away quickly.
There's a boy with a smug grin on his face, leaning against the machine, "so you're the new girl?" He asks. I don't answer him, I turn away to leave but his hand grips my arm tightly and pulls me back, "I asked you a question."
"Yeah?" I hiss, "well, you almost shut my arm in the door." I don't need to answer to him. He's a jerk – and I don't even know who he is.
"The new girl has some attitude, huh?" I feel another hand weave through my hair, and I turn to see a girl behind me.
"What's your name?"
"Why do you care?" I retort.
"Okay, you wanna be like that. I'm Peter," he says, "and that's Molly."
"Well, I'd say nice to meet you but I'd be lying." I yank my arm free after another struggle and pull my sleeve back up over my shoulder.
"Why are you in a rush, huh?"
"Beatrice!" It's Caleb. I internally cringe at the use of my full name. I turn my head to see him rush in to the cafeteria, he pulls me towards him and glares at the boy named Peter. "What are you doing to my sister?" I should be relieved, but I want to tell Caleb I could handle them on my own.
"Beatrice...? Nice name," Molly sneers. At least mine doesn't sound like it belongs to a dog.
"Aw, you've got your big brother to protect you now," Peter scoffs, "later, Beatrice."
"What the hell happened?" Caleb asks, watching them leave. I shake my head.
"I don't even know who they are," I reply, "I guess they just like to bully new kids... I was down here getting some water for my roommate, Christina."
"Why couldn't she get it?" I don't really want to tell Caleb she's hungover – saying she's ill wouldn't technically be lying...
"She's not feeling well—really not feeling well." And he believes me; It was sort of truthful. After a long moment, he leaves to go back on his way wherever he was headed once he's convinced I'll be alright on my own. I head back to my dorm room.
When I enter, Christina is sitting up, "feeling better?" I ask.
"Well at least the rocks stopped moving," is all she says. I hand her the water and she thanks me. She doesn't realize I almost lost my arm trying to get it for her.
"...Hey, what do you know about a boy named Peter, and the girl...Molly?" I ask. Christina looks up at me curiously. She swallows the large sip of water in her mouth.
"Why?"
"Uh, when I went to go get you water the boy—Peter tried to shut my arm in the door. Molly just kinda stood there and watched, but she was with him."
"Peter's an asshole," Christina replies, "he's a bully, and a coward. He never likes to be forgotten, or put in his place. He thinks he's better than everyone else. I want to say 'I can't believe he'd do something like that', but I actually can. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just wanted to know if I did something to get on his bad side..."
"You're the new girl—you and your brother are the new kids. You're practically what everyone's talking about around here right now. Peter's far from any of their minds, but beating up the new girl would bring him right back to the front." I'm not sure I like that at all. I never asked to be the center of attention—nor did I expect to make an enemy because I am. It's not like I tried to make this happen.
"I didn't ask to be," I sigh.
"No," she agrees, "but eventually you'll be just like everyone else here. The talk'll die down after a while. You probably shouldn't leave this room for the rest of the day...who knows where Peter's lurking around right now."
"That makes me feel better," I mutter sarcastically. Now I'm just supposed to stay confined to this room? I'm not gonna be a coward, not like him.
"Well, you can do what you want," Christina says, waving her hand, "I'm supposed to meet Will later, studying and such. I'll see you later." She grabs a pair of jeans and a shirt from the floor and heads down the hallway towards the showers.
I decide to head down to main offices, searching for the phone booth. I drop a quarter into the slot and listen to a woman reading off information about international calls before I punch in the home number.
It rings three times, then I hear a soothing, "Hello?"
"Mom," I breathe, a smile crossing my face, "I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Oh honey," my mother's smile is present, and she laughs to herself, "You miss us already?"
"Of course, mom," I sigh, rolling my eyes.
"How is everything so far?" She asks; I hear her call for my father and I imagine she is holding the phone between them so they both can hear.
"Everything is... interesting," I answer, "I've already made some really nice friends, and you know Caleb, he's studying as per usual. I haven't seen him much since we got here, he spends a lot of time in the library." I hear my father's laugh this time.
"That's definitely Caleb," he says, "I'm glad to hear that, honey. Do you like your classes?"
"I won't know until Monday," I say, "but they look right."
"Good, good," he says, "I'm sure Caleb is eager to start, too."
"Definitely," I reply with a grin, "Caleb misses you guys too."
"Tell him we miss him too," my mother says, "Your father and I have a council meeting tonight, you remember Marcus Eaton, don't you? They've appointed him head of the council. Your father just knew he would get it."
"Really?" I ask; I vaguely remember Marcus, "Dad knows everything. Just like Caleb," I joke. My mother laughs and I hear my father quickly follow.
"Marcus deserves that position," my father defends, "He has no family here, all he ever does is spend his nights at the office."
"Quite sad," my mother says softly, "but I agree, Marcus is very focused on his work. It would be an insult to overlook that."
"Well, we're gonna let you go, honey," My father says, "your mother and I have some things to go over before the meeting tonight. It was great hearing from you, maybe we'll hear from Caleb soon. You can always call us."
"Okay," I say, "I love you."
"We love you too," my father smiles, "tell Caleb we love him too."
"I will."
xXxXx
I spot Christina out by the cafeteria, twisting a bottle of water around in her hands as she's talking to Will and Uriah. I make my way over to them, and shyly wave as Uriah smiles at me. He was very nice when I met him earlier, something tells me he's just a happy guy all the time, "Here comes the stiff," he jokes.
"Don't call me that," I reply. His smile is contagious, it actually makes me smile in return. He laughs, throwing his arm around my shoulder.
"My apologies, Tris." Uriah says, shaking me, "good thing you can take a little name calling and joking." I don't feel awkward, if anything I'm thankful for Uriah's personality overall. He actually makes you want to talk. He turns to Will and Christina, "hey, you guys going to the pit again tonight? Heard Eric's picking a fight."
"Of course he is," Christina replies with a shake of her head. She looks at me, "Eric picks new people to fight with each other...kind of like a monthly tradition with him."
"Yeah, if Tori wasn't there he'd make it a nightly thing," Uriah nods.
"Tori's not even there most of the time, how would she know? He could probably get away with it," Christina asks, "Four doesn't do anything about it either..."
"That's 'cause Four wants nothing to do with any of what Eric does," Will states, wrapping an arm around Christina's waist. She leans into him, and I suddenly feel a hollow pang in my chest at the sight of them. It makes me wonder how long they've been together.
"Four?" I blurt out. "Like the number?" They each look at me as I speak up, and I shrink back a little under Uriah's arm. I almost forgot he was still holding me.
"Yeah sort of. He hangs around Tori and Eric sometimes; he doesn't really have much of a choice, they keep order in the pit together. Kind of like leaders, except if Eric had his way he'd be a dictator." Uriah explains. It was my impression they saw Eric as a friend, but now...
"Tori just has the spot so she can get away with things," Christina adds.
"I mean, she's cool and all but she likes to order people around sometimes. Four's the only normal one sometimes. They hardly ever agree with him. Feel bad for him...there's always someone who's controlling him." Uriah says with an empathetic frown, "he's a cool guy, but he mostly keeps to himself when it comes to personal matters. We all just know him as Four, not sure why but it's just what we've called him for the last couple of years."
"Does he go to school here?" I ask.
"He used to," Uriah answers, "he's one of the older kids. They all left last year. Finished. He just turned nineteen, actually."
"So why does Eric still hang around here, then?"
"So he can find his next fighters," Will says with a shrug, "or just prey on the underclassmen. Either, really."
"Eric's ego is too big for him," Christina says, rolling her eyes, "we just tend to stay on his good side."
"And if you're on his bad side?"
"Only one person can answer that without fearing Eric," Uriah says, smirking. Christina nods, and Will agrees after a moment, "Four."
"Do he and Eric not get along?" I ask.
"Eric and Four are like a cat and a dog," Christina scoffs, "Four is just more of the dog type." I'm guessing Eric isn't his biggest fan then. Four's feelings must be mutual.
"What happened?"
"Four was constantly first in everything they did, always beating Eric. First in his class. Eric sometimes does a pretty good job at hiding his hatred; there are times when he'll definitely make it known though." Seems kinda childish to hate someone for just being good at things. I'm reminded of Peter, and his apparent hatred for me even though I never did anything wrong to him.
"Does he ever choose to fight Four?" I don't know why I'm so curious about them, but Four sounds like he's not much of a fighter unless provoked.
"Please," Christina snorts, "Four beat his ass good in their last fight. Eric refrains from even choosing him anymore. He'd rather watch the fights now."
"Isn't he afraid of looking like a coward?"
"He is, but Four never actually wants to fight him. And Four is so used to deflecting him on it, Eric just kinda gave up," Uriah must be pretty close with him if he knows so much, "...for now."
"Don't forget though, that Four would definitely take him on if he had to." Christina says, grinning.
"How come he wasn't at the pit last night?" I probably sound obsessed with this Four guy. I've asked them almost every question that came into my mind about him. But I can't tell, because they're not making it apparent.
"He was, but he lingers around the back mostly. I only saw him...maybe once and then he disappeared again." Uriah replies, scratching his eyebrow unconsciously, "my brother says he's been without a girl for almost a year now...he seems a lot more distant lately. Barely even looks at girls..."
"He probably doesn't see any worth his time," Christina shrugs, then smirks, "Or he's gay. Have you seen the majority of the female population at this place? He probably feels better off on his own now...no longer in school, living on his own and whatnot. He probably doesn't see the need right now."
"Don't let Four now you called him gay. I mean yeah, he never really was the type to chase girls," Uriah says with a reluctant sigh. I can't help the feeling that I have to meet him. He seems...below the average of unsupervised nineteen year old males running around here. He's interesting.
xXxXx
I wasn't sure what I had agreed to, but Christina promised it was nothing much. Stupidly, I took her word for it. It felt like she had been working on me for hours – the eyeliner, the clothes, my hair.
But when she finally let me look in the mirror, I was impressed. It didn't look like I was wearing any make-up. Just a thin line of black above my eyelashes, and then some mascara. Together, it makes my eyes look darker yet more open, "you have really nice skin by the way," Christina comments, smiling at me through the glass, "I'm kinda jealous." I have to laugh.
"You did amazing," I say, staring at myself more than usual. I would merely take a glance in the mirror in the morning while I got ready but now I didn't want to pull my gaze away. I don't look plain anymore.
I especially love the clothes; a thin black sweater that clings to my wrists and my waist, with holes for my thumbs, and the jeans are tight but they allow me to still move. The ridged, straps that were sewn in for design make the pants look like nothing I have ever seen before, and the boots are surprisingly comfortable for steel toes.
My hair is down, parting slightly to the side and framing my face. I never realized just how long it was, or how thick. My hair feels lighter being down, not pulled or held tightly by tons of pins.
I don't even recognize myself. And I love it.
"We're going to be late if you keep staring at yourself," Christina smirks triumphantly, "black is certainly your color. Maybe we should go shopping later."
"Do you ever tire out?" I ask, following her out of the bathroom.
"That's the great thing about it, there's something new every night. Plus, you'll actually fit right in tonight."
xXxXx
It's even more cramped at the pit tonight, much to Al's chagrin. He doesn't like too big a crowd, which makes me curious as to why he suddenly changed his mind about joining us.
I see Eric across the way, talking to a guy about my age; probably roughing him up for the fight. I'm not sure I really even want to stick around to see it, but it might be interesting should nothing else happen tonight.
I don't see Tori anywhere; Christina was right so far—she's probably not here. Will and Christina head further into the crowd while Al stays behind with me. We're both quiet, making this situation more awkward than before.
"Do you want something to drink?" Al asks me. I shake my head no, and mutter a small thanks. I'm not much of a drinker, and water isn't exactly an option I've seen too often down here.
Al says he's going to grab one for himself and I'm thankful for his escape. I just can't bring myself to start small talk, especially not with him. He's a nice guy, but that's about all there is. I don't even bother searching for Will or Christina; I just want a distraction.
Al comes back a short while later, looking a little more confident and maybe a little smug. He's drunk.
"So where did you transfer from again?" He asks, leaning towards me. No, he's probably just a little tipsy.
"New York," I reply, biting the inside of my cheek. I really don't like this side to him—I prefer his suffer-in-silence side.
"New York is a nice place," Al is staring at me so intently; all I want to do is hide. Small talk is not my forte, and neither is caring for a tipsy, 190 pound boy trying to hit on me, "you don't look like much of a city girl though."
"Uh, New York state." I correct him, "New York City is a little too flashy for me." I do love the city, but New York state is more tame.
"Yeah," he nods, "do you want to go somewhere a little more quiet?" I do. Just not with him.
"Uh, no I'm fine out here," I say. He frowns, but thankfully doesn't press me on it and looks around awkwardly.
"I'm gonna go get another drink," his fingers close around my shoulder, a little too close to the skin of my collarbone, and I shiver, "are you sure you don't want one?"
"I'm fine," I reply a little more aggressively than I mean to. I smile, hoping it'll mask most of my irritation. He barely even noticed. Al's off again and I bolt the first chance I get. I end up running through a back hallway; it's damp, and glowing blue under the lights. I stop to catch my breath when I know I'm well-hidden and look around me. I'm down an even longer hallway now.
I stand, pressed up against one of the walls, quietly trying to slow my breathing down. I can feel the cool cement through my clothes; the cold reminds me of Al's hand on my shoulder and I shiver.
I have caught someone's attention, because I hear footsteps trudging towards me. Before I can even get further into the shadows a firm hand grabs my arm. I let out a helpless scream, but the sound is blocked off by a rough palm muffling the sound.
At first I think that Al has found me, and that he is no longer taking no for an answer.
Except it's not Al I'm staring at in fear. It's Eric. He releases me to cross his arms over his chest, staring at me expectantly, "what are you doing back here, stiff?" I can't tell him I'm hiding—he's watching me, and if I make myself look even more vulnerable...
"I got lost," I say calmly.
"You got lost." He repeats, "looking for what?"
"The bathrooms," I automatically reply. When did I become the kind of person who opts for lying? Eric doesn't look convinced, and I know I've just gotten on his bad side.
"Eric!" Another male, he turns the corner and starts towards us, or just towards Eric since I'm too short and he's blocking me. I can't see who it is that's there until he's a few feet away, peering over Eric's shoulder at me, "what are you doing to her?"
"Relax, Four," Eric mutters, looking irritated. Four! That's him? He looks intimidating, but in a handsome way; I've never really seen anyone like him– he is very tall. A muscular build, with piercing blue eyes that seem to get softer as they flicker to my face.
No wonder Christina is so fond of him.
"I caught her lurking back here," Eric cuts my thoughts off, and I refocus on the situation I'm in. Four looks back at me, analyzing me.
"New?" His voice rumbles as he speaks; it surprises me how deep his voice is when he looks so young. He looks about my age, except I know he's two years older. Eric nods and he sighs, "you can't be back here without one of the leaders. We keep better track of people that way." I nod, paralyzed. I expected him to yell—I'm a little disappointed. Four looks much more capable of volume and strength.
"Explain the rules to her, would ya' Four?" Eric says, bored. Eric steps around him to head back down the hallway, "I've got a fight to watch." Four rolls his eyes while Eric disappears around the corner.
"You alright?" Four asks. I nod slowly, and he begins to walk away. I wonder if he heard me scream and that's why he came, "come on." He tosses a glance over his shoulder to make sure I'm following him but doesn't stop to wait for me. I jog to catch up with him, "why were you back there?"
"Uh," I'm not sure how to answer him, if I should be honest. I doubt he'd even care.
"You gonna lie to me?" He sounds like he's teasing me, "if you are, make it good. This is the only time I'm gonna let it go." Okay.
"Well," I say, biting my lip, "uh, I was trying to get away from a guy...friend."
"Ex-boyfriend?" Four asks. I shake my head.
"No, just saving myself from hours of unwanted awkward conversation." He laughs.
"I'm getting a sense that you didn't opt for lying to me," he says, "I'm Four, one of the leaders here. What's your name?"
"Bea..." I don't know what makes me falter but here I just want to break away from Beatrice Prior: the stiff from New York with no friends, "my name's Tris."
"Well, Tris," Four says, stopping just before the corner, "I'm supposed to be telling you the rules, but nobody really cares about them. Eric breaks them all the time, so he's just being a hypocrite. You should get back to your friends."
"Okay," I say, nodding. He nods once in return and turns to head back down the hall.
"Oh," he says, glancing at me, "if Eric ever bothers you again, you know where to find me now." I'm stunned, to say the least. But if he's always back here, I'll never be able to search for him.
"Okay." It's all I can think to say. I want to go back there where it's quiet but I don't want to run into Eric again if he sees me. I probably look far too undisturbed as it is, should he see me walk out of here.
It doesn't take me too long to get back out to the main room. It's rowdy, and noisy but it's familiar to me even though I've only been here once before.
"Hey, there you are!" Christina throws her arm around my neck, shaking me until I'm off balance. The laughter bubbles up inside me, and I can't help it, "Al said you ran off."
"I got caught up," I lie.
"Wandering?" She asks, smirking, "you do that a lot." And I'm not surprised she notices. I need to break my habit of wanting to be alone. She's a great friend, "so what got you?" Should I tell her?
"I was in the back," her eyes widen, "Eric found me, and I think I'm probably on his bad side now."
"You have a death wish," she concludes with a laugh. She's sober, I can tell. She glanced around the area, too short to see over most people, then frowns, "damn...I don't see Four anywhere. Again. You would have liked him..." I bite my lip.
"Uh, well I met him," I say quietly.
"What? When?"
"He rescued me from Eric," I reply. She smiles, nudging my shoulder.
"And...?"
"And what?" She rolls her eyes and grabs my wrists, tugging on them.
"Aaand what did you think of him?" She's staring at me, waiting for my response.
"He's nice," I shrug, "I only just met him."
"Wow. You are not like most girls," she laughs, "Because all these girls," she points around the room, "would point out a mile-long list of what they thought about him the moment they met him."
"He's attractive," I mutter. She gives me a look that says 'you can do better than that' and I sigh, "come on, Chris...if I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to set me up with him."
"Well, not really," she says slowly, "but he's single, and he always looks so lonely. You're a nice, and attractive girl. You guys could make it work."
"Okay, well we just met and I barely even know him." I reply, "give me time to get to know him a little better and I'll get back to you." I'm not being a hundred percent serious, but she takes it that way. We turn back to the fight but I barely focus on it—I just really wanna find Four again.
xXxXx
Tobias Eaton's POV
I'd like to think that at Nineteen years old I have made a good place for myself in the first year since having fully moved out of my father's at eighteen. I get myself up and ready for today; we're reopening the pit... I didn't care too much to ask when I heard something happened on Eric's watch, but I eventually heard about it. Eric doesn't like to play by the rules, and when some kids a little younger than sixteen made their way in last summer, one of them jumped down into the Chasm on the other side of the pit. Dead on impact; those rocks are lethal at the bottom.
I wasn't here all summer; my best friend Zeke, his family, and I ended up leaving Chicago for their summer house in Georgia, so I didn't have to go home to see my father.
Needless to say, my father wasn't happy about it. I am sure he had told his lies, that I make no effort to see him because I'm a horrible son ever since my mother passed away.
Just thinking about him puts me down, so with a sigh I stand up and stretch the sleep from my muscles. I head to the bathroom, running the water and strip out of my clothes. I step under the spray, feeling the warm water loosen my muscles more, thankful for the pounding of it on my skin because it's loud in my ears; it blocks out my thoughts.
I don't need to be down there for any specific time, regardless of what Eric's told me. Tori wouldn't care and Eric's just pissed that I'm even a leader. Not that I really wanted to be either, but Eric needs someone to make him get down from his high horse every once in a while.
I wash up but end up spending more time just standing under the water than anything else. When I shut the spray off, I step out, wrap a towel around my waist, and head back out into the other room to get dressed.
My apartment is a little shabby. It probably always will be, but I liked how open it was when we got to choose where we'd be staying. There's a large window that takes up most of the wall behind my bed; the main room was the largest, so I also made it the bedroom. The kitchen isn't much larger than the bathroom, but I hardly ever use it so it doesn't bother me at all.
I get dressed fairly quickly; throwing on my jacket, I head down to the main area of the pit.
Last night was my first night back, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it here. Nostalgia, probably. I remember how happy I was the moment my father shipped me off to this place. He sent me out here for boarding school when I was sixteen; He expected me to be ungrateful and miserable, to actually want to go back home. How wrong he was. I loved it, because I was away from him. At the time, I lived at the school but some of my greatest memories happened in the pit; befriending Zeke, beating Eric in our first fight, growing stronger by the day... I couldn't have asked for a better escape.
It's just the times that my father tries to put me back on the leash that nearly cripple me.
I'm old enough now to decide whether or not I want to return home. My choice is obvious. And despite all of that, including Eric being an asshole towards me – though I can usually shut him out – I've had the time of my life here for the last three years.
"I told you to be down here at eight," Eric says irritably, "It's eight-thirty now, Eaton," I just shrug.
"Tori said there was no specific time," I reply, maybe a little too smug. He's not happy with me, but then again when is he ever?
"Well Tori's not here right now."
"You're also not the only one in charge, Eric. Or did you forget I'm just as worthy of this position as you are?" Definitely smug. He's practically glaring daggers into me now, however, I could care less. It's my first day back, I'm not about to let Eric think he can tighten the collar. I see Zeke jumping down from the hole, landing unceremoniously in the net. He's howling at the top of his lungs, with the sound echoing even louder off the walls. I'm not sure why he still chooses to enter this way, we know all of the entrances.
"My man, Four!" Zeke says, jumping out of the net, "you're actually awake before noon!"
"Yeah, well I would say that was your fault all summer," I retort. He's smirking at me like he's the greatest damn thing and I can't help but try to get a swing in. He was constantly setting me up with some new girl on double dates – somehow they always ended of him making out with the girl he brought while the girl he set me up with was offended by something I had said or done earlier on. And we could never leave until they were ready to part. So long story short, I'm not the most romantic guy around.
"You need to work on your game," Zeke jokes, punching my shoulder. Another body lands in the net, and I notice it's Uriah, "God bless the girl that's tough enough to put up with your sorry ass. Maybe once you finally get laid you'll loosen up." I give him a strict glare.
"I doubt anyone's up for the task," Uriah says, joining us, "he's the Legendary Four. Too much of a hot head." They burst into laughter as I roll my eyes at the title I've been given. Legendary Four; my first fight took four seconds. About two summers ago, Zeke and I were watching some fights going on. At the time, Eric wasn't in charge of them. I was chosen to fight; the kid I was up against was no bigger than me. I knew nothing about blocking, punches, any of that. My instincts took over, I swung forward and next thing I knew the kid fell to the ground and the pit erupted into cheers and chaos.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" I ask.
"So?" Uriah grins, "don't act so perfect, you skipped a bunch of times."
"It's only the first day," I say, shaking my head, "and I didn't skip nearly as often as you, Shauna, Marlene, or Tori."
"You still skipped." He shrugs, "besides, it's not like you're gonna tell on me."
"Don't be so sure about that."
"You don't care enough to tell on me. Besides, you're too old. Matthews would probably wonder why you were snitching on a student," Uriah says, shaking his head at me. He turns to Zeke then, "Hey, some of us want to go zip lining soon, you gonna join?"
"When were you thinking?" Zeke asks.
"Maybe in about a week or so? We're changing the direction of the line this year," I leave them to it, since I have no desire to join them on their suicide mission. Zip lining, the way they do it, means hundreds of feet above the city at abrupt angles and between buildings. All at night, which makes it harder to see and only adds to my terror. If I wasn't so afraid of heights, I would probably go with them.
They don't even bother trying to convince me anymore. If I can avoid my fears, I will.
xXxXx
I'm not surprised when I see so many familiar faces at the pit; it's the center of life around here. Especially for those of us who are dauntless enough to jump off the buildings above to get in. I surprised myself, three years ago, when I took that jump.
When Zeke and his friend, Amar, brought me here for the first time I didn't jump first. I made Zeke go, but he only promised to jump first if I did right after. It had to have taken me a good five minutes before I found even an ounce of courage to throw myself forward.
I've decided to stay in the upper level tonight, while Eric and Tori take care of the lower. For the last hour the main area has been filling up. Out by the net where nobody really hangs out for too long, I've been watching people as they land, exhilarated and terrified.
I stay by that hole in the dark, away from the noise so I can have some peace for a while. Nobody else has really come in, so I assume everyone who knows about us is here.
But a grey blur catches my eye just as I'm about to head back into the main room; another person in the net. A girl; I've never seen her here before. I didn't even hear her scream on the way down, but I do hear her voice seconds later.
She's laughing.
It's kind of amusing; I watch as her fingers tighten and untighten around the rope. Her hair is sprawled out across her face, some of it hanging down through the net. She looks ordinary; definitely too new to have ever been here before. She's a stiff, as Eric would say.
The net looks huge compared to her, that's how small she is from where I'm standing. I don't think she even sees me up here. There's a scream from above. She tries to move, but isn't fast enough as I see an even smaller heap of limbs land beside her.
It's Christina. She's laughing, holding her chin; I assume from smacking into the new girl, "Damn, I thought you had gotten out of this thing already." Christina's the first one out. She helps the girl down, and even from up here I can see her knees shaking with adrenaline. I wonder how Christina came across her; who is she? I'll have to find out more later, but for now I don't stick around much after they're out of the net. I head back out into the main room, watching from above. Zeke and Uriah are off, probably trying to hit on girls, so I have nowhere to be at the moment.
I spot Christina again, at the top of the stairs with the stiff right beside her, looking sorely out of place. Eric calls them over, which has me interested since this girl has no idea what she's getting into here.
He doesn't look impressed – if anything, he's looking at her like she's fresh meat. But the way she talks, even though I can't hear her, she looks confident. It's almost surreal watching Eric not intimidating a stiff.
I see Tori stalking towards them; my first thought is that this probably won't end well, because of Tori's hard nature, but she looks impressed. Watching people isn't what I usually do, but Christina never usually brings anyone that clean in. What I wouldn't give to know what she just said to Tori to make her back off like that.
Tori comes to me, over the noise I can barely hear her from a foot away. She leans in, a smirk on her lips, "Looks like we've got to break her in, huh?"
"Who is she?" I yell over the noise. Tori shrugs.
"Didn't catch her name, but she's got confidence," she says, "Eric won't believe me, but she'll fit in just fine." With that, I tell Tori I'm heading up to the apartments. It seems that Eric and Tori have the pit all taken care of, so I head back to my apartment to retire for the night.
xXxXx
I head to Tori's apartment early the next morning.
She's drawing my tattoo today; it's only about five in the morning, but I want to get this done first then head down to the pit before Eric so I can get some exercise time in... without being bothered.
When I get there, Tori doesn't look thrilled to be up this early but I know she'll do this for me. Though she'll never admit it if you asked, she's wanted me to get a tattoo since I met her. I just told her I needed time to think about it. I don't want anything meaningless, or just for looks.
"Everything's set up, I just need sketch it out," she says, "start talking."
"Hi to you, too," I say, smirking. She gives me a look, like she wants to smack me, but instead turns to go back inside. I follow her; her apartment always makes me uneasy because of the lack of windows. She has no windows in the main room, and it's not quite as big as mine either. The tight feeling in my chest swells at the thought; this is not the time to get claustrophobic.
As I explain to her what I want, though straying away from what it means, she sketches away on a sheet of transfer paper. She has sheets filled with different designs, and as I look at them more I try to incorporate them with mine. It's quite a large tattoo now, but it's perfect.
"Where the hell am I tattooing this?" She asks when she's done. "You do know how big this is going to be, right? It's going to take a few sessions. I may only get the outline done today."
"That's fine," I say, and she looks at me. With a sigh, she shakes her head giving me an unsurprised look. Probably because she knows I'm stubborn – or she thinks I'm insane and she's used to it.
"Where?" Where do I want this tattoo? I don't want the whole of it to wrap around, I want it to be easily seen should I ever have a reason to show it. My back is probably the best option, though I won't be able to see it myself. I think I could be okay with that.
"My back," I reply after a moment. I don't need to see it, I just need to know it's there.
xXxXx
My fists collide with the sturdy fabric and the tough material beneath, continuously. I'm so used to the pain that I don't have to stop, I just shake my heads out before the next hit and go.
I'm the only one in the training room right now, it's still too early for most to be awake and around anyways. Tori finished the outline fairly quickly, looking mighty proud of herself. I was afraid, at first, that she tattooed something else but I know she wouldn't do that to me.
She just liked how well it looked so far. Her words, not mine.
The light stinging in my back from the needle keeps me focused, makes me hit harder. I focus on that and I don't think about anything else. Fighting out of anger is how you get hurt, and fighting out of focus is how you get knocked out. So I don't think about anything but building up strength.
I don't even hear the footsteps over the sound of my practice, but when a hand clasps onto my shoulder I can't help but turn around and grip the hand in a tight hold. It's Eric.
"What the hell was that for?" I hiss, trying to catch my breath.
"Someone's jumpy," Eric says, yanking his arm back. "Or sore."
"Because you scare me," I feign a slight tremble, and drop his hand roughly. I know he's referring to my tattoo; some of it can't be covered by a shirt. "What do you want?"
"Tori says Max and some of the others need us. Though I can tell them you have no interest in joining us—,"
"Fat chance," I say, shoving past him. "I'd say tell them I'll be there, but knowing you my message won't get across so I'll let Tori know." I leave the training room to go find her.
xXxXx
I'll never know – nor ever care to know – how Eric gets the pit to fill up so much. The only good thing that I get out of it is being able to sneak away for hours at a time and find some peace. With so many faces, and Eric practically drinking himself sick on most nights, I never have to worry about getting away.
I never ask him what he's got planned. I don't care enough to bother. But from Tori, I know Eric's got a fight planned. At least he stopped trying to get me to fight him. I could take him easily, but I don't particularly care for unnecessary violence.
Plus, my back is still kinda sore from the tattoo.
But I've kept a close eye on Eric since new faces – stiffs– have been showing up. Eric, is by no stretch of the imagination, a nice person. Regardless of newcomers or not. I don't feel like dragging some poor, unaware teenager to medical help.
I must have spoken too soon, because I watch him go into the back. My curiosity gets the best of me, since he's always out here, where the center of life takes place. It's not often that Eric goes back there – I've seen him do this three times now. All have ended with him coming back out, knuckles bruised or bloody.
And as I look around, I spot Uriah with his other friends and I noticed there were two more in his group much earlier. They're gone now. Would Eric have gone after two? I remember one being a male, maybe the other was female.
Either way I'm going to try and see what he's after. So I head back, trying not to shove through people though it gets me through faster. I hear some curses thrown at me, but I don't really care. As I get away from the noise, I begin to hear a couple voices down the hall. I hear some sort of struggle – it sounds like a girl. The first voice I actually hear, I register as Eric's. If he's attacking a girl, this would definitely be the first time I've walked into it. I don't wait until I'm around the corner to yell out for him.
"Eric!" He never lurks in the back so I know he is after something—or in this case someone. I'm not close enough to see who that person is until I'm a few feet away, peaking over his shoulder.
I notice it's the girl from the first night; she is about a foot shorter than he is, trembling. Her appearance is different now, less clean than the first time I saw her. She is wearing all black, fitted and it suits her well. Her eyes are more noticeable, the make-up makes them stand out. Her eyes remind me of a deer's, staring into a pair of headlights. I'm unaware of how close Eric is to her until she takes a cautious step back. She still has a whole hallway behind her, despite how long this one already is, yet I know—and I'm sure she knew—that there was no way she'd make it. Eric may not be as fast as me, but something tells me he's faster than her. He would have stopped her somehow, "what are you doing to her?"
Of course it's her.
Her trepidation flows like waves in this confined corridor, wrapping around the three of us like thick rope. Eric can sense her fear—that's the only reason he's cornering her. I can sense her fear because she's looking at me like I'm her savior.
I wish she wouldn't look at me like that.
"Relax, Four," Eric grumbles, peering at me over his shoulder, "I caught her lurking back here." I don't really care what Eric is saying to me, I just notice her. She is a good foot and a half shorter than me with long, blonde hair. She's an observer, I can see the way her eyes are analyzing the both of us in front of her.
I don't think she was lurking, but Eric has his mind set and I know there's nothing else I can do but try and free the noose. I play dumb and sigh, "new?" As far as I can tell, he only grabbed her. At least he didn't hit her, so I got here just in time.
Eric nods to answer my question. I don't want to be a mean leader, especially not the way Eric handles things around here. The best I can manage, since she already looks scared to death, is a minor warning, "you can't be back here without one of the leaders. We keep better track of people that way."
The look again. I suppress my groan of irritation and let out another huff of breath. She's in this situation, and it could have been avoided. I suddenly wonder how she got herself into this.
"Explain the rules to her, would ya' Four? I've got a fight to watch," Eric says, shoving past me to leave. I can't help but roll my eyes, since he's all for setting rules but never for reinforcing them himself. I wait until his footsteps sound further away before returning my gaze to the small girl in front of me.
I want to ask her how old she is since she looks older now from when I first saw her, and I know for a fact she passed Tori's inspection somehow, so she's old enough. Instead I ask her, "You alright?" She looks sturdier now as she nods; I take it she knows I'm not gonna hurt her. I should get her back to the main room, "come on." I don't hear her walking behind me at first, but then the soles of her shoes slap against the cement as she jogs up to my side.
She's not much of a talker, that's for sure. I don't even know what her voice sounds like but I imagine it's soft, "why were you back there?" I ask her. She hesitates, letting out a small breath of air, "You gonna lie to me? If you are, make it good. This is the only time I'm gonna let it go," I can't help but smirk at her. At how at ease I suddenly feel with her next to me.
I wonder if that's because it's nice to not be walking this hall alone for once, or if it's because I managed to save her from what could have become a horrible attack.
A part of me doubts she even wants to talk to me. Like she feels safer keeping her mouth shut than speaking out loud but then her voice—soft and slow, yet unwavering and somewhat serious—rings in my ears. For someone so small, I'm amazed it's as low as it sounds.
"Well...uh, I was trying to get away from a guy..." She bites her lip, hesitating again, "...friend." Guy friend?
"Ex-boyfriend?" I ask, but she shakes her head. I can't explain the slight relief in my lungs; maybe she just seems too good, too innocent, too young to really be in anything serious. I still want to know how old she is, but I don't think it's appropriate to ask.
"No, just saving myself from hours of unwanted awkward conversation." I have to laugh, a real laugh. So not a boyfriend, just a guy who'd like to get there.
"I take it you didn't opt for lying to me," I say, watching her lips turn up at the corners. "I'm Four, one of the leaders..." She probably already knows that, but I find it's an easier starting point, "what's your name?"
I catch a small sound from her; another hesitation. Is her name hard? Or does she not like it? Or does she prefer to keep that to herself since she just met me? "...my name's Tris." I wonder if it's an alias – it has to be if she hesitated. But somehow I understand her, like she's similar to me in a way. My nickname gives me an out, I'll give her this one.
Tris.
Not the name I expected to hear, but I like it. Even if it's not her full name; she doesn't know my real name either anyway, "Well Tris," I say, testing her name in my mouth, "I'm supposed to be telling you the rules, but nobody really cares about them. Eric breaks them all the time so he's just being a hypocrite." She smirks a little, "you should get back to your friends."
For once, this hallway is not long enough.
But I can't keep her back here with me any longer—Eric would probably search us out and the last thing I want is to see him give her a punishment for not coming back out. Granted, she would be with me—a leader—but I don't want to push the boundaries anymore tonight.
"Okay," Tris replies; I nod and begin to head back. I want to process this. But before I fully leave her standing alone here, I can't help but utter one last sentence.
"Oh, if Eric ever bothers you again you know where to find me," I hear another 'okay' and turn away. I really just want to talk to her more, which scares me.
Uriah always taunted me about never developing interest in girls, even Zeke joined in occasionally—always saying maybe I was gay—but something about Tris just clicked. She's not like other girls and I can't tell what's gripping at my mind.
Is it because she looks so fragile, yet determinedly strong? Or maybe the way she hesitated on her name, looking for a different identity here. It isn't something petty, like her eyes or her face in general—though both have my attention. I want to talk to her more—I need to. I can't explain why.
I didn't scare her. Eric did, but she looked at me like I had saved her.
I still don't know her age, that factor alone scares me a little bit. She just looks so young to me. I'm nineteen, sometimes I still feel much younger than I am yet every time I glance in a mirror I look different than the number. Some days I look older, like I could be twenty-two at most.
I stopped thinking age was just a number a long time ago; now I realize there's a certain importance to it. Whether we ever find out what that significance is, I'm not sure. But I want to get to know her, I'll just keep my distance if necessary.
