Part One
"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I'm scared." Junpei's voice rang out brutally. Everyone watched uncomfortably as he verbally battered Yukari with all his anger and fear and irritation, but no one contested what he was saying. In the end, Yukari was the one who apologized, in much softer tones than her earlier teasing ones. Akihiko thought to himself that he, at least, wasn't going to let himself go off on anyone like that. Glancing at Mitsuru, he had no idea what was running through her mind. Was she as tired of these emotional outbursts as he was? Or did she inwardly sympathize with the things the younger members of SEES were feeling? The times she adressed everyone, even after they had all gotten close, it was always so collected...that was how the others should be. He turned back to look at Junpei, who would never be collected, no matter what the situation. It made him feel something indefinite; he dismissed it as annoyance as they went seperately to their rooms to think and pretend to sleep.
It was hours later, and Akihiko wasn't sleeping any better than anyone else. He decided to stop pretending and got up to wear himself out on the punching bag. Even after the sweat was running down his neck, though, it wasn't enough. He put his gloves down and paced the room a few times. He needed release but this wasn't, apparently the kind of release he needed...after another minute or two of pacing he sighed and resigned himself to it. Akihiko mopped himself with his shirt and then sat down on the bed, frowning. Almost reluctantly he took himself out. Whenever he broke down and touched himself he tried to make it as quick as possible; he couldn't help feeling like it was some kind of weakness or concession to rely on this every now and again. He always sat on the edge of the bed, not making the feel of soft sheets against his back or the pleasures of self-exploration any part of it. If his other hand did anything it lay clenched against the bed down by his side.
He shut his eyes and tried to think of something erotic, because that got it over with faster. Usually if nothing else he thought of Mitsuru. Even if they had grown up together, he recognized that she was beautiful; and he couldn't help noticing it even more those nights they fought together. Her lethal resolve and the grace of her movements in the restrictive school uniform (or better yet, the high-cut armor she sometimes wore) made her very attractive...and those images were usually more than enough to get the job done. After a moment, though, Akihiko frowned. Tonight those images wouldn't come. Instead this vague feeling resurfaced...the frustration or annoyance from earlier. Junpei, blowing up again, hurting someone's feelings. Junpei acting like a sullen child...Akihiko's eyes opened in shock as he realized he was panting, the hand in his lap working violently. He looked down in disbelief at the state he was in, but a moment later closed his eyes and gave into it again. Tensed and bent forward, he let his mind race with unclear thoughts about letting go for once and really telling Junpei off...no...maybe even hitting him, or...or.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
The next morning, Akihiko woke up on top of the sheets. He tiredly surveyed the morning sunlight as it glanced off his trophies and then stared dully at the shirt he had balled up and tossed across the room the night before. He was wrapped up in a strange kind of peaceful exhaustion this morning...it took him a long time to remember why. When he did remember he sat up, panicked and disgusted with himself. He had done it...to Junpei...not once but several times. In fact, he thought, as his cheeks started to burn angrily, he had really only stopped because he had passed out. He, and the bed, were a mess; he was even a little sore there now. Akihiko gritted his teeth and focused on getting himself to the bathroom for a very thorough shower. Next would have to be laundry. Thinking about anything else was out of the question.
All the same, he was going to run into Junpei eventually. For once he found it difficult to focus in school, and practice didn't go very well for him that day either. By the end of the day he was actually relieved when he got back to the dorm; everyone was so used to him being "perfect" that any mistakes he made in class or in the ring had elicited a torrent of concern. Later that night when he saw Junpei brooding in the corner of the second floor lounge he felt almost elated...because he had long since determined what he was going to do when he saw him again.
He was bigod going to make him pay.
It wasn't hard to get Junpei to his room. Akihiko said one or two unflattering things about Junpei sulking alone, using words like "weak" and "childish." He said he wouldn't be surprised if Junpei wanted to escape reality just like his old man. Maybe they should go in on a bottle of something together, he knew Junpei would appreciate it anyway. Long before Akihiko started using his fists, he used words, attacking Junpei swiftly and brutally, forcing a response. For a brief moment he was afraid that Junpei would actually take his words to heart, since he was his senpai and Junpei seemed to respect him. But then the younger boy's chin lifted and his eyes blazed under the rim of his hat, and Akihiko knew he would get the fight he wanted and more. He stepped back just a little and drew a soft breath, fists clenched in his leather gloves, anticipating.
Junpei's voice trembled on the edge of rage. "Senpai...I...I'm gonna beat the shit out of you if you don't shut up..." So, even now Junpei was at least trying to hold it in...that was just going to make it better.
"I doubt that." Akihiko spoke deliberately. "You're all talk...you always have been." Junpei almost lunged for him then, but Akihiko lightly turned his head as if he hadn't noticed. "If you really want to try, let's get out of the hallway." Without looking back, he headed straight for his room. Junpei's tread was heavy behind his. Akihiko half-closed his eyes as he opened the door, heart hammering in his chest silently. No one could blame him for any of this if Junpei came willingly.
Inside the first moments were awkward. Junpei shut the door and Akihiko reached past him to lock it, and then they were left facing each other wondering how to begin. A moment ago it could have happened easily, but now that they'd come here specifically to beat each other up, someone had to start it. Akhihiko smiled coldly. "What's the matter, Junpei..." he chose to echo Yukari's words. "Are you scared?" After that it was perfect.
When they first met, Junpei wouldn't have given Akihiko more than a minute or two of effort at the maximum. After so many nights in Tartarus though, he was a much better match. Akihiko found himself appraising the new strength in those arms even as he dodged them and (very occasionally) felt a blow hit. He was present for the fight but he also observed it, savoring the rough gasps Junpei made when one of Akihiko's punches landed (much more often) and drinking in every violent shift in his expression and stance. What he had imagined last night couldn't really compare to this, and he groaned a little as he felt one of Junpei's fists manage to meet its mark again and realized he was about to get caught up in it too. After that everything was mindless, no more observation, only the two of them struggling and panting and hurting each other as much as they could. Akihiko knew more about footwork than Junpei and he eventually managed to take him down, landing him hard against the floor. It really was a good thing that Minato was out that night, the noise they were making...one and then two of the trophies on Akihiko's desk crashed to the floor as Junpei cursed and kicked at him, trying to knock him off balance. Akihiko didn't join him on the floor but he didn't let Junpei get back up, either. Finally, he planted one foot in Junpei's chest to keep him down, then sank onto his knees straddling him. He was a little tired now...and Junpei was plainly tired. He put his hands to Junpei's throat to make him lie still.
Junpei looked up at him angrily and Akihiko wondered how long it would take for the bruises to show. It was probably better that he didn't know where they were yet; he didn't trust himself not to try and touch them, or even lick or bite at them. That wasn't good...he had meant to work everything out in the fight. But just like last night after using the punching bag, he was left tired but unsatisfied.
"Well?" Junpei's voice broke into Akihiko's thoughts. "You look disappointed. Were you expecting me to cry or something?"
"Of course not." Akihiko muttered, his hands still on Junpei's neck.
"Why not? Isn't that what someone 'childish' would do? Somone who's 'all talk'?"
"Is that what I said?" Akihiko rubbed his forehead with one hand, tiredly.
"Jesus, you don't even remember?"
Akihiko looked down at him vaguely. "I made it all up. So no...not really."
If anything, this made Junpei angrier than he had been all night. It gave him the burst of energy he needed to wrench Akihiko off of him and sit up, grabbing him by the sweater and shouting into his face: "WHAT?! How the fuck could you do something like that? WHY?"
Akihiko blinked and then shrugged.
Junpei found himself defeated for the second time that night. Wordlessly, he let him go. "... ...this...isn't you, Senpai."
Akihiko stretched and leaned back against the bed. "No, I guess it isn't...maybe if I were like you and shot my mouth off all the time, something like this wouldn't build up." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, and Junpei realized grudgingly that Akihiko hadn't actually been trying to bait him that time. Something about that was infuriating.
"Jeez, don't sound so damned crushed, Senpai. Was I that much of a let-down as a punching bag?"
Akihiko shook his head, taking the question seriously. "It's just not enough, that's all...I don't know what I need."
Junpei growled and rubbed his throbbing sides. The punches Senpai had landed on his body were really starting to hurt, now that he was thinking (close to) clearly again. "I'd bet you anything you just need to get laid. Shit...so do I." Self-pity over the the beating he'd taken suddenly turned into self-pity over the fact that Junpei was most likely going to die a virgin. Something about that made the present pain seem inconsequential and Junpei frowned to himself miserably.
Akihiko was apparently thinking the same thing about himself, though. "That's no good; be realistic."
"Come on. At least you have a chance with Mitsuru-senpai. You've known her forever, and she's probably all scared and vulnerable now like the rest of us. Actually, I know she is..."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well...fine. What I mean, is Minato's about to beat you to it, man. I'm telling you, you need to stop dicking around and get in there before he takes her away."
Akihiko sat very still and looked into the middle distance. After awhile, though, he shook his head. "If that's what she wants, then that's fine."
Junpei scowled. "Don't sit there like some fucking knight in shining armor after you pulled that psychological bullshit just so you could thrash me. We're all going to die, there's no shame in at least trying."
"I'm not. I just...well, I don't even know if that's what I want."
"That's it; you have to be gay."
"I'm fine with beating you up worse."
"Bring it!" Junpei tried to look like another round wouldn't send him into a coma and failed.
Akihiko smiled...a little. "...you're just talking big again. I don't see you making any moves on anyone...no serious ones."
Junpei looked uncomfortable. "It's kind of too soon, after..."
Akihiko nodded softly after a moment. "Another girl wouldn't seem 'right.' "
"...yeah."
"Well, maybe that's how I feel, too."
Junpei shifted uncomfortably. "We're both pathetic."
"I guess."
With that, there seemed nothing more to be said, so Junpei tried to get up. "Well, it's been real fun, but I'm going to bed."
"Yeah...I'm sorry." Akihiko watched for awhile but Junpei had still not succeeded in standing up.
Junpei scowled at the floor, not daring to look at Akihiko and trying not to let his cheeks redden with shame. Finally though he looked up at him imploringly. Akihiko dragged himself to his feet and got Junpei onto the bed, obeying the same code of silence.
"I'm really fine, just if you could maybe help me to my room." Junpei finally muttered.
Akihiko went to get his (often used) first aid kit. "I will in a second, I just figured it couldn't hurt to take a look at you."
Junpei sighed and sat up a little. "Okay, sure. Maybe a compress or something..." He hung his hat on one of Akihiko's bedposts and undid his shirt, painfully, as Akihiko sat down next to him on the bed. He wasn't thinking of anything much, just waiting for Akihiko to do something, when he realized he'd actually been sitting there with his shirt off long enough for his skin to get cold. He looked up sharply to see what the hell Senpai was doing and his eyes widened in alarm.
Akihiko was just...staring at him. Junpei couldn't make heads or tails out of his expression but he knew he didn't like it. Suddenly he leaned forward, reaching out to touch one of the dark patches forming on Junpei's left side. Junpei shuddered and jerked back. "Are you nuts?" His senpai didn't seem to hear, though. A moment later he had bent closer, at first Junpei thought maybe to examine the bruise...but then Akihiko closed his eyes and brushed his teeth against it. Junpei's body went rigid and he planted a palm on Akihiko's forehead, shoving his face back. "Dammit! Listen to me!" Akihiko seemed to come out of it a little and sat back while Junpei contracted himself into an outraged ball on the other end of the bed. "What the hell?!"
"I don't...I don't really know...sorry..." Akihiko seemed genuinely confused, but Junpei wasn't once his angry glance settled a little lower. He shot out a foot and ground it against Akihiko's crotch, making the older boy gasp in surprise. "What the fuck is that, then?"
Akihiko backed quickly away, looking anywhere but at Junpei. "I didn't realize...sorry." Meanwhile Junpei was scrambling to get off the bed. His combined horror and disgust was a good driving force and he managed to swing his legs over the bed enough to grab the headboard and stand up. He looked back over his shoulder at Akihiko-senpai as he grabbed his hat, mostly to make sure he wasn't going to be chased, but when he saw Akihiko's expression he paused. If anything, Senpai was even more upset than he was. Junpei clenched and unclenched his fist around the sweat-soaked band of his baseball hat, and kept standing there. Finally, Akihiko looked up.
Junpei twitched, resisting the urge to bite down on his lower lip. "You...so, you planned this the whole time. That shit, that was just your sick little idea of foreplay. Tell me I'm wrong."
Akihiko shook his head and kept shaking it, but that didn't tell Junpei what he wanted to know. He leaned closer, his voice a soft snarl now. "So then I was right earlier."
That finally mobilized Akihiko and he lunged at him. With the two of them in the tired state they were in, it was awkward. They were both back on the bed, tangled up and angry to be tangled. "I'm not, dammit, stop saying that!" Junpei just looked up at him coldly. "You gonna knock me out now? Let me wake up in the morning wondering why I have a throbbing pain in my--" Akihiko backhanded him, hard, and Junpei growled and clamped a hand down on his wrist. They lay there in stalemate, breathing angrily in each other's faces. Suddenly Akihiko closed his eyes and ducked his head sharply. He hadn't been paying attention to Junpei's other hand. "Stop..."
Junpei shifted a little and grunted. He was already sore and Akihiko's weight wasn't helping. "Come on. This is what you wanted, right?" He sounded every bit as cruel as he meant to. Akihiko tried to shake his head "no," but like last night all he could seem to do was pant harder and focus unwillingly on the feelings coming to him. This was what he had been missing earlier, after their fight. This was what he had wanted all along. Junpei grinned a little bit and squeezed him harder, aware that he was winning. Finally Akihiko gave in and dug his fingers into the bed, groaning and jerking his hips. Junpei released his other wrist and caged his fingers in Akihiko's hair. "It's all right Senpai, I'll take care of you." His voice was so damned smug that Akihiko rallied a little. "Look, don't be stupid...I can't get off with a guy. There's no way." Junpei just smiled back at him...it was his turn to mock Akihiko. "I doubt that."
After Akihiko came (and it was probably about the most embarassing thing that had ever happened to him, he thought miserably) Junpei rolled him over on his back. He scrambled to cover himself while Junpei looked around for something to wipe everything up with. "Here," he said roughly as he handed him a wad of tissues. Akihiko cleaned himself off and unwillingly watched Junpei do the same. He readjusted himself and had started to zip his pants up again when Junpei's hand arrested him. "...what are you doing?"
Akihiko blinked, not understanding, so Junpei looked at him deliberately and spoke slowly and clearly. "Don't I get a turn?" He had the pleasure of watching Senpai go as red as his sweater. Finally, after a couple of false starts, Akihiko managed a choked "What?"
Junpei undid himself without his hand shaking, although inwardly he was nervous. "It's only fair, Senpai. Besides, this way it's not like I'm going to tell anyone. What would I say?" He paused to see if Senpai would go for it. After a moment, he held back the urge to gulp as Akihiko reached for him, seeming to resign himself to whatever would get Junpei out of his room the quickest. Junpei shook his head, though. "At least take off the fucking gloves."
Akihiko glared and whipped them off, grabbed Junpei hard and started to pump it. "Dammit!" Junpei hissed and then grabbed his wrist. "You know better than that, Senpai...Christ. You have to--"
"I don't have to do anything." But, Akihiko slowed his hand and tried to do it properly. When Junpei's eyes had drifted half-shut and his breathing became a little more ragged, Akihiko even found himself getting interested in what he was doing. If he went faster...if he closed his hand tighter...if he focused on one place with his thumb...what would happen? He tried different things and watched Junpei's face through them all. Finally Junpei gritted his teeth and tugged Akihiko's pants down. Akihiko stopped, momentarily stunned and feeling the anger rise up in him again, but Junpei didn't give him much time to think before he clamped his mouth down on Akihiko's and forced his tongue in. Akihiko bit it but Junpei didn't seem to mind, and as his hand slid back into place between Akihiko's thighs he was dismayed to find that this was like last night, too...once wasn't enough. He panted and let go of Junpei, opening his mouth a little wider and tasting the blood as Junpei slowly got him worked onto his side. The different attacks on his senses were enough to keep him ignorant from what Junpei was planning to do until it was almost time.
"What the hell are you doing?" Akihiko pulled his face away suddenly as he felt Junpei shift his hand and slide it between his hips. Junpei looked back at him serenely. "I'm not gonna be your "girl," Senpai...not tonight anyway." Junpei started to nudge him with fingers still slick from stroking him, and Akihiko sat up planning to elbow him in the chin and then maybe punch out a few teeth. He wavered as he felt Junpei's other hand go up his shirt, though, and Junpei took that moment to slide one or two of them in. "God..." Akihiko hissed. "Take them out." Junpei kept working him, keeping his eyes locked with Akihiko's. "I will in a minute." Somehow or other Akihiko guessed what he meant by that and he gritted his teeth. "That's not what I mean, you sick fuck." Junpei hooked his fingers in him suddenly, making Akihiko's eyes lose focus. "Look at yourself before you say that to me." He slid his other hand back down Akihiko's side and pulled on him, still very much erect, still wet. "Look at yourself...here." Akihiko only shook his head and closed his eyes, but his lips were parted and his breath was coming faster now. Junpei regarded him silently for another moment or two and then spread his hips and slid into him.
Akihiko groaned as Junpei clutched one of his thighs and arched over him. Junpei had to wait a moment before he could start thrusting; when he did he tried his best to control it. If he hurt Senpai doing this it would be a lot worse than what Akihiko had done by beating him up, and besides, he didn't want to come right away like his body was telling him he should. It was best not to look at Senpai either, because the way he was all flushed and clutching at the bed and sometimes himself was just too much to watch and not come. Finally he pressed himself to Akihiko's back and ran his free hand over Senpai's body, shivering and biting softly at his jaw and the back of his neck. He heard Akihiko coming again, but he needn't have listened because a moment later the evidence of it was all around him, writhing and pressing in against him. He gave up trying to hold back after that.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Akihiko woke up feeling amazingly sore all over, which fortunately for him was nothing new. As he had done the morning before, he lay there tiredly for awhile before piecing together what the hell had actually happened last night, his reasons for feeling so sore and exhausted. At some point he became aware that he wasn't alone in the bed, but he was literally too tired to whip around. He raised himself painfully on one elbow and looked back over his shoulder at Junpei, lying there on his side sleeping with one arm still thrown over him. For the moment he didn't feel any sympathy for him, even though much of Junpei's body was black and blue. One punch was enough to send him to the floor, where Junpei cursed weakly and sat up, blinking in the unforgiving light. He noticed that his hat had rolled under the bed and he mechanically dusted it off and put it on. At the moment it was the only thing he had on. Akihiko regarded him coldly, not speaking, so Junpei finally broke the silence.
"What time is it?"
"Look at the clock."
"...oh." Junpei looked around Akihiko's room until he spotted it. "Wow...it's late."
"I never got a chance to set the alarm."
Junpei scowled. "You brought me here."
"Well, you can leave now."
"What...no good-bye kiss?"
Junpei dodged another trophy.
