"Tetsuya! I'm going to start the movie without you if you don't hurry up!" Akashi called to his brother.

Kuroko emerged from the kitchen with a bowl much larger than his own head, "I was making popcorn."

Kuroko sat on the couch next to Akashi, who was impatiently holding the remote. The movie began as soon as Kuroko's butt was on the cushion.

"You know, she could've avoided this situation altogether if she wasn't with that jerk, who takes someone into a secluded part of the woods for a picnic?" Akashi mumbled through popcorn.

"The real problem here is that they're going into the old house," Kuroko analyzed.

"Fair enough, but they wouldn't have the option to go into the old house if he had never taken her there in the first place," Akashi reasoned over his next handful of popcorn.

"It would've been a normal picnic if they hadn't gone into the old house, Sei,"

"They're both idiots either way," Akashi concluded.

A bit more of the movie played before they ran out of popcorn.

"Why did he go into the basement, he could've still gotten out if he hadn't gone into the basement," Akashi grumbled.

"They shouldn't have gone into the house in the first place,"

"Yes, but they did anyway, and they really fucked themselves over by going into the basement,"

Kuroko left to get popcorn; they had watched the movie several times before so it wasn't an issue if he missed some. When he returned, he found Akashi furious with the protagonists as usual.

"You can't just hide from the zombies by going under the table, they would've been so much safer in the cupboard," Akashi groaned with frustration.

"They might've done well in the closet too," Kuroko added as he flicked popcorn toward Akashi,

"Yet they hid under the table and now the guy is dead and the girl is running for her life, which she won't be able to keep until the end of the movie because shE HID UNDER THE TABLE WITH HER IDIOT OF A BOYFRIEND," Akashi started yelling into his popcorn.

Just as Akashi had proclaimed, the movie ended with both protagonists dead and the zombies free to roam the earth.