To Breathe Again
-Prologue-
She darted through the crowds. Her palms were sweating, and she felt the prickle across her forehead, too.
Anxious and afraid, she still tried to be polite as possible when she shoved her way past the slower patrons who were blocking her way. It seemed like everyone was taking a train somewhere, but that was fine with her. It was good luck, really. The crowds gave some semblance of safety. She could hide among the throngs of people. She could blend seamlessly into the mass.
She hoped so, anyway.
A short girl with dark hair and glasses hardly drew notice, but every time someone's eyes connected with her own, she felt her heart lurch in her chest. A familiar string of paranoia would kick in, and she could just imagine her husband walking through these people flashing a photo of her.
Have you seen this woman?' he would ask, in that smooth charming voice of his. It was too easy for him. They would be disarmed by Sosuke's warm brown eyes and handsome features. So they would think back, wanting to help him out because he would seem so distressed. So wholesome and trustworthy. And maybe, they would remember seeing her heading this way or that.
She could picture it all so clearly in her head that it made her feet move faster. She reached up and pushed her bangs out to further cover her features as much as possible.
How far was she from the gate now? Glancing around frantically, she located her destination and shot forward, holding tight to the strap of her bag.
Because she knew Sosuke was here somewhere. Even though she had gotten a head start she was sure he was here by now. He was good at getting what he wanted, and he wanted her. He would find a way to eliminate the little bit of time she had bought herself. He would have pieced it together quickly when she hadn't shown up for her shift. He would figure out that she must have spotted him. He was a good cop, with good instincts and spot-on investigative skills.
He would know she had ran for the train station.
She knew with stomach-twisting certainty that she was only prolonging the inevitable. He would find her eventually. But she would be damned if that would be today. Come hell or high water, she was getting out of here.
How had he found her in Sapporo, anyhow? She had covered her tracks so carefully. Had lived for two whole months there without getting found out. It was a huge city, and she had vanished into it's depths easily. That's why she had chosen it as a destination when she made her escape from home weeks ago. It was close enough that it hadn't cost her much to get to, and the population had hidden her away. Jobs were a dime a dozen here, too. She had been waiting at a restaurant down the street from her cheap hotel room during the day, making very good tips, and also worked a newsstand at night. The double hours provided her with enough money to stash away for her next move, which she hadn't planned on making until her collection jar had enough in it that she could have been more comfortable in the next new city. She had been undecided where that would have been, but anywhere was fine, as far away from her husband's town as possible. (And it was his town, with all the people there so wrapped up in his easy lies.) Her only real memories of that retched place were of living a caged life, so drained and broken that she had forgotten who she was somewhere along the way. Her husband had made her into someone else in the privacy of their closed doors, twisting her into submission, molding her into some unrecognizable stranger.
No more. Never again.
Sosuke could keep his lies and that town, he could keep the house and everything in it. He could have everything from their life together. He could have it all, she didn't want it.
She was taking her soul with her, though.
But she should have known that Sapporo was too close. Hell, the whole Asian Continent was too close. He had found her, and she couldn't fathom how. There should have been no way to trace her steps here.
But he had somehow.
And she had almost walked right into him.
Thinking quickly, she had darted into a damp alleyway, and ran as fast as she ever had in her life back to the hotel. Gathering her measly possessions and tossing them into her duffel without pause, she had dashed straight here, to the train station. Looking over her shoulder the whole way.
She hadn't planned for this, so she had no idea what to do or where to go. When she had gotten here, she just bought a ticket at the desk to the furthest destination available to leave right now. Since her funds were just starting to grow, it didn't leave her with much left over to live on. But she would cross that bridge when she got there.
Right now, she just needed to make sure she did get there.
She was unsure if he knew that her hair had been cut and dyed, but he was smart enough to not overlook the dark-headed females in the crowd. He would probably assume she had changed her appearance, and would be scanning every lone female with her build.
Her heart raced erratically.
But she made it to the gate, finally. There was the wonderful, liberating sound of the train coming down the tracks in the distance.
Wiggling her way through the gathered group of people, she came to a stop in the middle of the crowd, hoping the others would shield her from him if he came this way. She tucked her chin down, and waited.
Tense minutes ticked by, and she tried to focus on the murmur of so many voices all around her, the rhythmic chug of the locomotive as it drew closer. If she didn't, her thoughts would tear her apart. Because she was likely to give in to the panic and bolt, and trying to run on foot was a bad idea. She knew that, but it was hard to suppress the fight or flight response that was pumping adrenaline through her.
Don't run, just be still.
She had no where else to go, and she knew the wisest choice was to wait for the train and be gone all together. Sapporo was no longer safe. She had to get out of here.
All she had to do was wait a bit longer. She held on to the strap of her bag like a life line, knuckles white.
When the train came into view, she felt her muscles lock up in awareness. The hairs on the back of her neck stood, and she chanced a peek over to the platform doorways. Her breath caught when her eyes landed on Sosuke, well dressed and benign, standing behind the crowd. He was speaking to a family of four, predictably showing them a picture. They shook their heads at him, and she watched as he moved on to an older couple and did the same.
She turned away so quick she almost lost her balance. Eyes darting to the train that was pulling up, she wracked her brain for a solution. If he glanced her way, he may recognize her on body language alone.
Oh god, please, I'm so close now. Think, think, think.
She only needed a few moments, a few precious moments, to avoid his notice.
Her eyes widened with a hasty plan, and she looked around the crowd, working through the idea. She would stand out to him if he looked this way, being by herself. Maybe she could pull off seeming to belong with someone else. He wouldn't think it was her if she appeared to be someone's mother or wife, maybe.
She didn't see any kids close by to strike up a conversation with. That would have been the best bet, as Sosuke wouldn't guess it was her from behind if she had a kid with her.
She searched the crowd around her for another option. Pass off as someone's wife, maybe? It could work, too. She searched for someone standing alone who seemed approachable enough.
Instinctively, her eyes landed on the largest man in the group. A tall, broad man with long brown hair pulled into a low tail. He was dressed casually with a ball cap pulled low over his eyes. If she could get him to stand with her, just until she could board the train, maybe it would put Sosuke off long enough.
She bit her lip, hesitating. Was she really about to go cling to a strange man?
Chancing another look over to where Sosuke was, she made up her mind quickly. He was so close now, too close. He could spot her easily if he looked this way. She needed that stranger's help, and whether he knew it or not, he was going to get her out of here.
Mind made up, she squared her shoulders and pulled her glasses off and tucked them into a pocket. She was not getting caught, not when she was so close.
Making her way to the stranger in the ball cap, she kept one eye on her husband moving through the crowd behind her. He was still talking to people, still flashing her picture around.
Still painfully close.
Ignoring the dizziness at the thought of being drug back home, she came up to the man's side. Up close, he was even taller, towering over her. His face was angular and unshaven, and he seemed lost in thought, staring ahead in a distracted way.
Swallowing her nervousness, she reached out and wrapped a hand around his, moving in close to him, pressing against his arm. He looked down at their hands in obvious surprise.
"Excuse me? I'm not sure if this is the right train. I've forgotten my glasses, and can't make out the number on my ticket very well. Could you take a look?"
She held out the slip to him, blinking innocently, hoping like hell she was convincing enough.
His eyes dropped to the ticket she held, before raising to take in her features, maybe wondering if he knew her, before he met her eyes and held her gaze for an uncomfortable moment.
She was unprepared for the stranger's sharp stare, it was piercing and shrewd, and she realized she may have picked the wrong man to lie to. This wasn't the type of man that a woman could manipulate easily. She should have aimed at a younger one, maybe.
The train was here now, though. Surely she could pull this off. It would only be for a brief time. The man at her side had stiffened, and she worried he would tell her to get lost.
She glanced back over her shoulder discreetly, scanning the crowd again to see where Sosuke was, but she had lost sight of him. Her heart was in her throat now.
Oh god. He could be anywhere.
She turned her attention quickly back to the stranger's, angling away from where she had spotted her husband last. She tried to smooth her worry over into an inviting smile for the man at her side, hoping her face wasn't as bloodless and pinched as it felt.
The man stared back at her steadily, not saying a word, before reaching out and taking the ticket in his large hand. His eyes had narrowed just a bit, enough to make her wonder what he was thinking.
"Of course. Anything for a beautiful woman. Let me see."
His voice was deep and musical, and for a moment, she let it sooth her nerves. "Thank you so much."
"You're in the right place," he said, and as the train pulled to a loud and shrieking stop, she leaned into the man even more, clinging shamelessly. He glanced back down at her curiously, and she felt her cheeks heat.
But Sosuke could be a few feet away, right this minute. She willed him to see her as part of a couple. A nobody. Someone else's wife. She prayed that if he looked her way right now, he wouldn't spare more than a passing glance at the two of them before moving on in search of a girl by herself. A lone female that could fit the description of the woman who he was searching for.
Oh, please.
The train's doors opened with a whoosh, and people started moving.
She wondered if the stranger that she held on to could see the desperation in her eyes as she silently pleaded with him to just pretend with her. For only a few moments.
He must have, because his lips turned up in a slight smile, one that offered reassurance, before he wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her to his side even more.
She stared up at him in shock, but he had looked away, scanning the crowd around them as they started forward with the rest to board the train.
She felt immense gratitude for this man, whoever he was. He couldn't know that he may have just saved her life.
